I’ve been waking up earlier lately, which is nice, but “waking up” does not necessarily mean “getting out of bed”. I tend to lie there until I’m for sure going to be late for work. I’m taking baby steps towards a responsible life. So, I’m laying there this morning bracing myself for the day when my lovely girlfriend says “oh my god”. I know shit has already started. She directs my attention to the wall beside our bed, and there is this huge fucking roach, one of the ones old people call “waterbugs” so you don’t freak out. It’s above us, and I know those things can fly. It started crawling, and I got out of bed real fucking quick. The bug crawls on the wall for a minute, heading for the space directly above our bed, when it falls off the ceiling and into my fucking shoe. I haven’t seen him since. I can’t sleep right now.