#insomnia headcanons

[hiddenhogwarts]

How about the students with insomnia meet each other in their common rooms. Then, to while away the hours they invent different games like ancient runes uno or transfiguration charades?

[hiddenhogwarts]

Madame pomfrey always having a bed open for those who get frequent infections. Madame pomfrey having a selection of braces for those who have joint issues. Never melting ice packs for those with chronic pain. A selection of nice sleeping potions with insomnia. Basically madame pomfrey having all the good stuff for those with disabilities

[pisskinkhaverr]

Barista: Name for the order?

Insomnia: Ashe with an E.

Barista: Got it.

Insomnia, getting her drink:

Insomnia: WHAT THE FUCK IS 'ESH'??

[gyzym]

Teddy Lupin headcanons. (AU where Remus raises him? AU where Tonks raises him?)

Tonks’s good cheer + Remus’s tendency to reach for dictionary words when nervous + Harry’s hero complex + Andromeda’s pride + literally all of their tendencies to rebel and noses for trouble = a lot of time in detention with bemused teachers who are like “But you’re such a kind and well-spoken boy when you’re not being such a complete and utter hellion??? are you in fact two boys?? Have you ever read the muggle story of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde???” 

Has, indeed, read that story (has in actuality read Remus’s complete collection of novels, Muggle and magical, by the time he comes of age) 

Totally thought he was going to marry Victoire up until they went to have sex and Teddy pulled down his boxers and Victoire stared for a long moment and then was like “…. there it is. The Dick.” and something about the way she said it, like it was the title of his dick’s memoir or something, had them both howling with laughter for a while and then agreeing that probably they shouldn’t have sex out of some vague feeling of obligation rather than actual desire, and that was that. (they’re still bff, even though Victoire is only around once a year because she lives some very fashionable life in Paris that Teddy only partially understands, but which seems to make her happy, so hey, whatever.)

Uses his metamorphagus abilities to punk/surprise his family and friends literally all the time and they all hate it so much it’s so great

[gyzym]

Any and all headcanons about the oldest two Weasley boys' daily lives (because WORKING WITH DRAGONS and CURSE BREAKER/WEREWOLF-MARKED HOLY SHIT)

haha i know this isn’t what you asked for but like: let’s just take a moment to talk about charlie weasley’s childhood. like, POOR MOLLY AND ARTHUR WEASLEY. i mean obviously: fred and george, but also. before fred and george. WHAT MUST IT HAVE BEEN LIKE TO RAISE A MAN WHO WOULD SOMEDAY BE LIKE “INSTEAD OF PLAYING PROFESSIONAL QUIDDITCH I’M GOING TO GO GET MY FACE ALMOST BURNED OFF ALL THE TIME BECAUSE DRAGONS ARE AMAZING. GUESS WHAT GUYS! THEY’RE SO AMAZING.” 

i mean. first of all, i bet that shit got one note as hell, the weasleys all ringed around the dinner table and arthur, wearily, like “yes charlie now it’s your turn to talk about your day since the rest of us have all gone (god help us)” and charlie bouncing in his chair in excitement to tell them all THE FIFTEEN NEW DRAGON FACTS HE LEARNED BETWEEN LUNCH AND RIGHT NOW even though none of the rest of them can find a single shit to give about dragons anymore. second of all I BET HE WAS SUCH A PYROMANIAC, i bet there was a period of his childhood where he would just set things on fire and then when molly was like WHY DID YOU DO THIS he would just rapturously be like “this is what it would be like to live with dragons, mum!!! don’t you want to know what it would be like to live with dragons!!!!”

like if someone was like, “hey arthur, what is the sentence you have said the most times in your life” his answer would be “nobody but you wants to know what it would be like to live with the dragons, son.” he wouldn’t even have to think about it. 

[gyzym]

How do you think Ginny and Hermione eventually made their way to the kind of friendship where they could talk about Ginny's debilitating crush on Harry and other such things?

I think Hermione and Ginny had that friendship throughout THE WHOLE SERIES and we just don’t really see it unless we’re looking for it, because the books are told from Harry’s point of view and Harry, god love him, does not as he is portrayed in the books really understand the concept of complex relationships existing outside of whatever room he is currently in. It’s not his fault! He’s a Protagonist and also like, this one time his parents were murdered and this old guy left him on seemingly the most bleakly horrible doorstep he could find, and many of his formative years were spent in a cupboard and the rest were spent fighting evil; you have to assume there are going to be some gaps.

Back to the point: Ginny and Hermione stay in the same room whenever Hermione’s at the Weasley’s, they can both get up the girl’s dormitory stairs and who knows what happens up there in terms of sleeping arrangements, when Harry’s like “But how could Ginny do Quidditch, when would she have learned, nothing happens when i leave the room right, THE WORLD STOPS WHEN I’M NOT IN HERE DOESN’T IT,” hermione is like “lol duh she’s been stealing all your brooms and practicing in secret for years, more like the boy who was never very observant except in the specific realm of battling voldemort, am i right?” They’re besties. BEST FRIENDS. [whispers] best friendddddddds

[gyzym]

i know many people like to pretend the next gen doesn't exist but I want to know your FEELINGS (if any) about it

HAHAHAHA I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS LET ME PUT THEM IN BULLETS

james/teddy 4 lyfe 

no but actually james/teddy 4 after james comes of age and starts like, quivering with terror but pretending to be totally calm as he says shit like, “hey teddy, i’m hot for your trot,” and “did you fall from heaven because — your body’s like — the astronomy tower — fuck, no, that’s not right.” and then there’s a whole phase where he just responds to everything teddy says with “do me on it,” and obviously everyone thinks he’s joking for years even though teddy in particular is always like HA HA WHAT A FUNNY JOKE WHAT A RAPSCALLION THIS GUY and then runs to the bathroom before anyone can see his hair turn bright fucking red because he’s totally into it, what the fuck is that about. and then they end up getting together way after that, when james is in his twenties, and teddy is like “you were a cruel and horrible child” and james is like “just because you’ve got all the observational skills of a mountain troll, how many fucking times did i have to say ‘do me on it,’” and teddy is like, “one hundred million less times than you did, james. god.” 

though very much the baby throughout their childhoods, at about 16 lily decides that she is the Boss Sibling and spends like a whole year clawing her way to the top of that admittedly not very resistant and actually largely agreeable heap. james would usually rather someone else was in charge; albus has never wanted to be the boss when he COULD be the guy BEHIND the boss. on a related note: 

SCORPIUS MALFOY: CLASS PRESIDENT

albus severus potter and rose weasley: creators of hogwarts student government, which means the truth is in fact:

SCORPIUS MALFOY: FIGUREHEAD 

teddy once told albus that that HE didn’t realize he was a metamorphagus until he TRIED to shift back when he was WOW D’YOU KNOW ABOUT YOUR AGE AL, and then managed to keep a straight face for a full twelve minutes while al very sincerely tried to manage it

in fairness though al and lily HAD glued teddy’s cheek to his pillow the week before

but it was lily’s idea

(kind of)

(she’d been a little young to come up with the specifics but she’d said STICKY FACE and al could not be blamed for taking that thought to its natural conclusion) 

if you have not gathered yet my feelings about next gen are BIG MESSY PILE OF STORIES ABOUT DISASTERS, NARROWLY AVERTED DISASTERS, AND THE OCCASIONAL TOUCHING MOMENT (BUT MOSTLY DISASTERS). so. you know. like most families :D 

[gyzym]

So what would James Sirius do with the Marauder's Map once he stole it from his dad's desk? Did he get the cloak too? Did he steal it or did Harry pass it on, in the family tradition? What would Albus or Lily do with these things, if they got them instead?

I feel like Harry probably has like. Very Strong Feelings About Fairness between siblings? Like he has not forgotten all those times Dudley got every single present money could buy and Harry got diddly-goddamn-squat, and probably he lays awake at night fretting that his children will feel he favors one of them over the others even though, “I don’t!!!” he insists, frantically, to whoever who is on the receiving end of this regular freakout. “I know, Harry,” they all say, to a man, because they’ve heard this one before, “we all know, take your hands out of your hair before they get stuck there again” 

Point being: I think these objects were probably presented to all three children, together, just before James’s first year at Hogwarts, with the rule that when they were all at Hogwarts they all had to SHARE and if he heard from any of them that they weren’t SHARING WELL he’d take the objects away until they could all LEARN TO SHARE and anyway that’s why, the time all three Potter children and Scorpius Malfoy and Rose Weasley get apprehended together attempting to engineer a sentient painting revolution, the reasoning they offer is, “It’s VERY IMPORTANT TO SHARE.” Even post-Voldemort, Harry’s life is hard.