#internal journey

[blipblorpwritingsnork]

At The Throat Of The World

singing hearts, magnetic souls a world of shadow painted with khol broken bleeding bodies come to find the path of the chosen one they search and scour and attempt to seek the pedestal upon the peak the mountain grand, it will not bow no matter the dust and sweat on your brow that hero grand will never come you cannot find the chosen one until you turn your gaze inside and know you were the one you were trying to find

[windowfallinglizard]

[waywandwave]

A Journey Back To The Light

Today I am returning to the cradles of my spirit 

Nestling through heartache in the marrow of my bones 

There is light in the distant tower 

The light of an empire forgotten

I see the graceful turning spire 

The dense forest that held my feet 

Vies caressing every groove 

A grove that welcomed my heart for miles and meters

We were dancing light together here 

We were a soul more than this self when we descended to form  we lost ourselves in that cruel world 

We turned our eyes into their vision 

For who knew the words outside could crowd the road so densely 

Whoever knew what my light could become 

I have seen rays turn to daggers turn to thorns 

I have known scorn that came as easy as breath 

But through this my empire of light only grew 

I t twisted ever higher when my heel broke on the axis of the world 

I felt a soul made of dirt blow into the wind and I I thought I had gone but my form remained solid but invisible here 

This internal world is the birth of my life

These twisting roads are my solace and strength 

I dit here in the emerald pass still

The highest trees of rowan and pine surround me and the mist is thick and healing 

I am alive with more than the heart beat 

I am the carrier of a living tower

The seat of a viridian realm 

Leaves blow sweet and caress skin soft as a passing breeze 

I am nourished and hole as the voice of the divine pours into me sweet as nectar 

Swigging silk straight from the air eyes alight with the wisdom of old fingers curling in the rhythm of life

A trance making my voice to chant as letters and seals blaze to life in a nearby oak lighting the path to the center 

I make my way to a sentinel of a bonsai  spiraling upward meeting the spiraling mauve and lavender of the clouds above 

I sit and the selves of me from the time away sit before me becoming a hazy shining mist 

I inhale them glowing intimate with a gentle touch that sings from the back of my throat to the curl off my toes and I am re united with every step of my journey 

I see forward now the golden path of the heavens attended by the spirits of my family and the spirits of the divine. 

This gold road spirals too and a door opens to my eyes into my hands where I type these words.

 I am here in the letters now and in the breath and in the motion and in the blood.

 I am present here before you and surrounded you in healing love brought back from the infinite. 

Thank you for walking with me and I pray we meet again.

-MFNT/The Wayfarer

[thehikingastronomer]

My life gets worse no matter how hard I fight. Just when I think I'm back in control, it crashes down. How can I appreciate not dying with Father? Where has it left me? There are no more stories to hear, no more adventures to imagine. If I'm accepted into the Embassy, I'll have to make my journey alone.

Arman Lance, from Chapter 1 of Embassy, by S. Alex Martin

[thehikingastronomer]

"My friends weren't the ones who abandoned me that summer. I abandoned myself, too."

Arman Lance, from Embassy, by S. Alex Martin

[sati-rasuanto]

Internal Journey through discomfort zone

Don't write about what you know. Write about what you want to discover. 

Elizabeth Alexander told me that when I shared with her how much I enjoy writing (particularly when I am in a certain emotional state), yet there are moments when it is not as fulfilling as I know it could. 

My writing  has always been an internal journey. Sure, I have written academic papers and other technical materials in my days, but for the most part, my writing has helped me navigate the ups and downs of life without having to share those intense emotions to those closest to me. I'd write when I am angry. I'd write when I am sad, or happy, or fearful. I like the feeling of the energy that flows from my head to my fingers to the keyboard. I like the race between what is in my head and what appeared on the computer screen. One of my best friends told me that getting to know me is like peeling onions - I come in layers. I guess he meant getting to know me takes time (or that it makes him cry!:)). 

I deal with my discomfort zone the way I deal with an awkward conversation: Leave now, and you may miss out on what could possibly be a great conversation or even an amazing friendship.

So here I am. Hopefully brave enough to sit through the awkwardness and land a few amazing conversations. Fingers crossed.

Be kind. 

[lievolution]

Circling through a dark bliss

Come with me into my choatic, conflicted mind that at times sparkles with ingenuity and imagination and explodes with fireworks of song and thought. It's easy to get lost, stay close. Over there in that cave are my memories - dont even go there. They are locked up better than Harry Potter's bank safe.

Come stand with me on the cliff above my waterfall of emotions, glimmering with colours, feeling, and unpredictibility. Look up at the crimson sky above, how it is scarred and striken to the point that it is disturbing the entire psychesystem. Now stroll through my jungle of thoughts, intertwining like vines desparately searching for something to hold onto. There arn't any animals here, they died long ago - a sign of things to come?

Whiffs of the seashore beckon us upright again to trek on to the place where all begins and ends, the ocean of the mind. Just sit and stare out across the endless expanse, recharge yourself, dip your feet in. It's warm - the solitary spirit, the secluded soul. It's been around for a millenia, ebbing like everything else. It's on a journey like us, waiting for its flight to freedom from terra firma. Stand and stretch your arms out as far as you can, the air that sustains us are my experiences, they whirl around my consciousness nourishing all they touch, sustaining a hopeless landscape.

Purpley-pink petals begin to slowly float down around us, there is a hint of rain. through the pitter patter of droplets we see the vague mirage of a spectacular meadow, filled with flowers of every colour, little ponds, and surrounded by snow capped mountains. There is a cozy cottage in the middle...only one emotion flows through the streams there. It's home. Reach for it...but it's gone...vanished with the torrents of rain. Mist begins to cloud our way, we are lost. Have you lost hope? I think i see a light at the end of the tunnel. RUN!

Our heartrates quicken, the fog fades, what do you see? A cold, crisp alpine forest grove covered in fresh snow. Every release of breath dances with the snowy flakes flittering towards the ground. We have reached the control centre: every wise tree's roots connect to every part of the body. It's so very quiet, all echo is lost, but the trees talk in low voices to each other. Lets walk through the woods as the snow crunches under our feet and ice fairies skate along the frozen lakes of love. Take a seat anywhere, the snow doesnt mind. The sun is setting on a hazy horizon, streaks of red and orange spurt across the sky. Stars begin to twinkle, reflecting off our eyes, every essence of entity is here inside this world we need nothing else, we are here and thats all that counts. Take a breath and scream out loud the mystery never ends.