Fucking fuck, my race sucked.
Oh, hey there. that sorta kinda rhymed.
This morning was our inter-squad race. And I am so fucking pissed over how I did. First off, it was muggy and hot as balls. Even doing a warm-up and drills I was breaking a sweat- we all were. Also, for breakfast I had a 90 calorie fiber one brownie bar because I didn't want to eat too much and risk my weight, or get sick. Bad Idea. By the time I got to the start line I was sooo hungry and dehydrated- Yeah, that was when I realized the last time I drank water was 3:30 pm on Friday. I wanted to go grab a quick drink but we were practicing starts and guts and the coaches were talking. I know I should have told them I was feeling light-headed and that I am prone to fainting...but I didn't.
Anyways, the gun went off and I went out too fucking fast, like I was within the first 25 people out of 200. By the time I got to our jungle (approx. 400 m away) I could feel my body wanting to shut down. I knew I should have pulled out of the race and told a coach that I needed water and energy asap, but I didn't want to risk getting placed in a bad group or my coaches getting pissed at me. I was able to pull through the race-barely. I wanted to break 70th place. But no. I got fucking 91st. And I am so fucking pissed. My splits were fucking horrible. I hate myself so much right now. Coach even came up to me at the end of practice and asked what my time was last year and if I did better this year and I admitted to him that i didn't know and that I was very light-headed today. He nodded and moved on. I think that if I do get placed in a bad group or the same one as last year, I am gonna ask to switch. I know I can do better. I have been running 7 miles every day, so how on earth could I do so suckish?!?!?
After the race, we had our cool down and team photos. We picked up a few forms for next weekend's beach run (SO EXCITED FOR THAT. ALWAYS MY FAVORITE!), and then it started getting really iffy out. Of course, after our race, the severe thunderstorms roll in. REALLY? REALLY? And my mom and I decided it would be a good idea to go fro a walk during the storm and pass out some flyers for an xc fundraiser, which, if people bring in the flyers with my name on it, I get 25$ each store credit..and so far I am up to a potential 100 bucks to spend at the local running store:)!
Well, I am still in a shitty mood. Fucking hate my race time. Fucking fucking fucker fuck.
