Back the Campaign to Fund Publishing the Twinned Trilogy Today!
Starting today, and running through Wednesday, January 28th, we’re raising funds to publish the third and last book of the Twinned trilogy by Tris Lawrence ( @tryslora ) ! Whether you backed the campaigns for books 1 and 2, or you’re just hearing about these books for the first time from this post, now is a great time to get one book, get two books, or get the whole trilogy so you can read the full story!
People with Talent—Mages, Dreamwalkers, shapechangers, and others—have always lived among mankind. Their existence was hidden until ten years ago, when the world was abruptly introduced to the existence of these secret magic users after a young gymnast spontaneously teleported during the Olympics. This event heralded the start of the Emergence; whereas, once, Talents were close-kept secrets that ran in family lines, now everyone knew that there were people with incredible abilities in communities all over the world.
The Emergence wrought changes at every level of society.
At Pine Hills University, a small liberal-arts college in Upstate New York, these changes have been pronounced, as the University has taken the lead in studying Talent academically: encouraging Talented students to apply, hiring Talented faculty, and debuting Talent-related curricula, minors, and majors.
This is the milieu against which the events of the Twinned trilogy unfold. Ten years has been just long enough for the young, Talented students of Pine Hills University to think they know where they fit in the world—but there are many changes yet to come…
For this campaign, we’re also making some fun Pine Hills University merchandise—the crest of the fictional university as an enamel pin, a car back-window sticker, and one of our signature dux in a PHU-colored varsity jacket.
Oh and – these books are hella queer! The main character is a gay aro man, the lead of the second is asexual biromantic and has a trans twin brother, and book 3 features an established m/m relationship between the leads. That’s just the tip of the iceberg; lots of the side characters are also LGBTQIA+.
Visit our Kickstarter campaign page and learn all the details, read the book blurbs and excerpts, see the merch, get to know Tris Lawrence, and more!
This project was for the story Into the Split by @tryslora.
It is part of Welcome to PHU, a web serial about the students who attend Pine Hills University, a fictional liberal arts school, and the folks around them. It’s about magic, and love, and football, and music, and taekwondo, and just about anything else that college students might get involved in. And magic. Did we mention the magic? Because in this world, ten years ago, the public found out that magic is real, and ever since then, more and more Talents have become public in the world, and Pine Hills University happens to be one of the schools that welcomes these magical students with open arms.
You can read the stories as they are posted on Tumblr and on Pillowfort.
Into the Split is the third story of the “Twinned” trilogy and can be purchased as an e-book and trade paperback through Duck Prints Press or through most bookstores and libraries!
This is in the “6×9” format, with white paper and glossy cover options. The story has 144,994 words and the final book had 444 pages.
Front and spine view of the book, along with the thematic enamel pin available through @duckprintspress
Sun spills across the room, filtered past the half-open curtains. Nikolai rolls over, and dust motes float up, sparkling in the sunbeam.
Seth groans, shoving a hand out. “Stop.”
The backpacks and bags lie on the floor, as if they had time to somehow shrug out of them before collapsing on the bed. They’re still dressed, but lie tangled as if they’re just waking up in the morning. Nikolai sits up and counts the bags—they’re all there.
More importantly, they’re here. In their room, in the smaller of the two Benford houses. In Havenhill. “We’re home,” he says quietly.
“Mm.” Seth rubs at his eyes as he sits up. “I feel like I just woke up, but it looks like it’s—” He hesitates, while Nikolai walks to the window.
“Late afternoon,” Nikolai says. “About the same time as when we left Pawel’s house. At least we didn’t end up back in Unity at wherever his house is here.” He assumes they have Chelsea to thank for that. He doesn’t know exactly how her traveling works, but it seems to have gotten them home.
He lifts the sash of the window, and sound filters in. Music plays somewhere in the distance, and the shouts remind him of the sugaring festival. When he leans out, he can’t see any crowds or people, but there is a lazy column of smoke swirling into the sky in the distance, as if a bonfire has been lit.
He pulls his head back in and leaves the window open to let the fresh air into the room. “I think there’s something going on.” He holds out his hand, and Seth takes it as Nikolai tugs him from the bed.
They take a moment to stand there, arms around each other, foreheads resting together. Nikolai nudges a slow kiss, and Seth pushes his glasses back up his nose after.
Nikolai grabs a hoodie out of his backpack, while Seth finds a light jacket. By the time they’ve changed, there’s a rumble outside as a car pulls up, then someone bangs on the front door. They exchange a look.
“The wards,” Seth says.
“Probably.” Nikolai figures he’s right, that their abrupt arrival from the Dreamscape tripped some kind of alarm on the wards. Especially since these houses have been the epicenter of the wards breaking before. He hurries out of the room and makes it down the stairs first, pulling the door open as the banging starts again.
Ethan stands there with his hand raised, mid-knock. Marybelle is behind him, and in the distance, the Jeep is rumbling down the dirt road.
Ethan lowers his hand slowly.
“We’re back.” Nikolai barely gets the words out before Ethan is hugging him, Marybelle crowding close. They manage to drag Seth in as well, but it only lasts as long as it takes for Mikhail to park the Jeep and get up the front steps.
Nikolai and Seth are pulled out of the house, passed from Mikhail to Josef and Amaranth, and when Nikolai realizes his face is wet, he’s not sure if it’s him or his brothers.
“We heard from a Dreamwalker in Utah,” Ethan tells them. “Our Technopaths created—well, helped create—this network. And he said he had a message from you.”
“Brett.”
“Yes.” Ethan grins. “He said you’d done it. That the world was changed now. There’s news coming in from all over about it.”
“I wasn’t sure you’d be able to come back,” Mikhail admits. “It’s good to see you.”
Seth tilts his head, pushes his glasses up his nose again. “Of course we came back,” he tells them. “Our family is here. All we had to do was figure out how.”
Nikolai laughs. It’s not funny, but at the same time, it is. He’s a little afraid that if he gives in to all the complicated emotions rolling through him, he might never come back from the laughter and tears.
Seth grabs his hand and holds on tight, as if he knows Nikolai needs an anchor, and Nikolai is thankful for that.
“Chelsea brought us back. The same Shadowwalker who got us thrown out in the first place,” Nikolai explains. “After we healed the Split, we needed to help her become….” He trails off, not sure how to get into that without taking hours. “It’s a long story, but she’s more like Mattie now. And she knew how to travel and was able to bring us back. So we’re here.”
“You’re here.” Josef leans on his cane, his smile bright.
Amaranth hugs Nikolai again, her long hair tickling his cheek. “God, I’m glad you’re back. And we’re having a party. You’re just in time for May Day. We’re all about new beginnings right now.”
“Speaking of—” Josef cuts off, glancing at Amaranth. She steps back, moving into his space, her hand behind his back as she leans in close. “We set a date to kick Mikhail out of the house.”
“You’ve got a spare room for your brother, right?” Mikhail asks. “I don’t want to encroach on the honeymoon once these two are married in June.”
“No,” Seth says, ducking when Mikhail makes a mock grab for him. “We want our honeymoon phase, too.”
“Are you getting married?” Mikhail points out.
Married? “God no,” Nikolai says quickly, trying to school his expression to something less horrified when Seth laughs at him. “We’re young. I mean, maybe, yes, someday, but honestly. I just want to live in a house with me and Seth and that’s it for a while. And without needing to worry that the darkness is going to eat us—and believe me, it’s tried. I want to live a normal life.”
“What passes for normal,” Seth allows.
“The new normal,” Ethan tells them. “Because it’s changing.”
There’s noise in the distance, and Nikolai wants to join in the celebration. But if he gets in the Jeep now, he can’t hear Ethan’s news. On the other hand, he doubts Josef’s going to want to walk all the way to the big house.
He turns in place, looking between the path and the road.
Josef catches the motion. “We can meet you there, if you want to walk,” he offers.
“I’ll walk with them,” Mikhail says. “You and Amaranth take your time. I still need to convince them to give me that spare room.”
“No,” Seth says again, a little flatter than before although he smiles when Mikhail does as if maybe they’re both just teasing.
Nikolai wants to say that the path feels lighter than before, as if the wards don’t weigh as heavily on Havenhill. He doubts that’s true; it has to be his own attitude, the idea that every shadow isn’t going to whisper and move. Still. He can feel that sense of new beginning in the air, like the warmth of the spring air.
“The cities that were gone are still gone,” Ethan says soberly. “We’ve been sending people to look at the ones we could. Our network of communication is better than the Humans have right now.”
“We’re all human.” The words slip out after hearing the others say it so many times, and it feels right to say it now. At Ethan’s sharp look, Nikolai tries to explain. “We’re Talented. They’re… not. But maybe some of them are, and are just waiting to Emerge. We’re all still human, it’s just some of us are also magical.”
“He has a point,” Mikhail murmurs, and Nikolai is glad for the backup.
“Boston is dark.” Marybelle circles in front of them, walking backwards as she speaks. “There’s a group out of Maine that went down. It’s a community outside of Portland, with two Technopaths and a Dreamwalker who were all part of the efforts on our side for your Ritual. Friday morning they woke up to find Hu—” She stops, frowning. “There were newcomers from the city outside their wards. They said the Shadows were gone. Or at least, mostly gone. They’d seen a few, but not crowds of them, and not as brave as before. It’s as if they’re different. So a few of the,” she hesitates, then tries, “non-Talented city people, and some of the Talented community decided to take a trip down to Boston. It’s dark, yes, and there’s no one alive there. But there are no Shadowwalkers there, either. It seems like it might be safe.”
“I’m guessing if they made it there in just a couple days, they drove,” Mikhail says dryly.
“They made it there in hours,” Marybelle says, her voice hushed like that’s a miracle.
Maybe it is. Talent and those without together, on the road, in public.
“What about the government?” Nikolai asks.
Marybelle’s gaze drops, and Ethan makes a face. “DC is dark,” Ethan admits. “We don’t know who’s left. And they don’t have the kind of network that we’ve already rebuilt. At this point, it looks like our Talented communities are going to be spearheading the rebuild.”
“Which means we have a chance to make it work for us, and stop the persecution,” Mikhail says firmly. “We need to make a better world.”
“We should reach out to Albany and Bennington,” Ethan suggests. “I’ve tried talking to Mom and Alia—”
“We’ll help,” Seth tells him. And yes, that sounds right.
They should also travel up to Burlington, too, and maybe out to some of the places they heard about while at Alaric’s home. Nikolai thinks that while the two worlds are different, what they learned there might help them find the right paths to rebuild here.
“It’s only been five days, and so much has happened already,” Nikolai murmurs.
“The first five days of the new world,” Marybelle says happily. “Imagine what’s going to happen next.”
The sun peeks through the canopy of trees as they walk down the path, leaving the walkway dappled with spots of bright light that chase the shadows away. As Nikolai walks along, Seth’s hand in his, he hears singing in the distance, voices raised in cheer and happiness to greet the spring.
Seth lifts their joined hands, presses a kiss to Nikolai’s fingertips.
Nikolai feels the warmth of that touch spread through him, like dawn after the longest night. “It’s a new world,” he agrees softly. “And we’re going to make sure it’s a better one for everyone.”
[ Previous | First | THE END ]
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There is very little sleep in the end. Nikolai naps in the early part of the evening, curled together with Seth in their bed, wrapped around each other. Nikita and Heather sleep at the same time, across the end of the same bed, Nikita’s fingers resting on Nikolai’s ankle. They awaken just before midnight to the sound of an alarm, and Heather and Seth begin the long process of trying to get Pawel to rest.
Nikolai heads back downstairs to work with Nikita and Carolyn and the other Mages who have arrived since he went to nap.
Seth and Heather manage to get Pawel to nap for two hours at the most. When he returns to the kitchen, wavering on his feet, Mac hands him a coffee and says gently, “You’re not driving to Haverhill. Conserve your energy. You’re going to need it.”
Pawel blinks at the gathered group. “Is Rory here?”
Rory raises his hand where he sits next to Kit at the table. He has one hand on Kit’s knee beneath the table as Kit hunches over, drawing quickly. “I know,” he says. “I think I’m as ready as I can be.”
“Everyone has transportation,” Mac says. “We have an entire caravan readied, and we know when the ritual will start. We’ve chosen locations around the world—there are hundreds of them, no more than two hours apart in a web everywhere we can get to. There are places we can’t handle—over the water, or in more remote reaches—but we’ve done our best. Every single place selected has a history with the Dreamscape either through Emergent Shadowwalkers or through Dreamwalkers. To the best of our ability to coordinate information through Del, every single location exists in some manner in both worlds. We can’t say anything for sure about the third world.”
A moment’s quiet as they all think about that: the world that has already fallen.
It takes Mac’s quiet efficiency to get them all fed, cleaned, dressed, and out the door. She doesn’t let anyone pause to think about what they’re doing. No one packs a bag that isn’t related to the Ritual. “We’ll be back tonight,” she says when Pawel brings it up.
He starts to say something else and she gets a hand up and over his mouth. “No. We will be back tonight,” she says firmly. “You’ll call Conor and tell him that the world has been saved. We’ll have pizza and beer to celebrate, and you’ll start panicking about how there are only two weeks left of class and you somehow still have to write a final for a class you’ve barely taught not to mention grading final projects. You might also want to spend some time thinking about great gifts to buy for your TAs once we’re out of this hell; they deserve them. Oh, and either give Carolyn and Kit a great grade for saving the world, or an extension on their final project for their independent study.”
Pawel wraps his fingers around Mac’s wrist, carefully moving her hand. “Do you have a preferred rank, or should we just address you as captain of this sinking ship?”
“Not sinking, not captain, and I’m just the most organized person here. It’s nice getting to plan an op where no one’s going to die.” Mac holds up both hands this time before anyone can say a word. “This is an op where no one is going to die,” she repeats slowly. “Pizza and beer to celebrate when we’re done. Now. Let’s go heal the Split.”
Nikolai lets himself doze on the way to Haverhill. He’s tucked into the back seat of a minivan, squeezed between Nate and Seth. The drone of conversation between Alaric, Chris, Dax, and Nate about running and football eases his mind. It’s nice to hear something that for them, at least, is normal. By the time he wakes, the van is bouncing along the long road that leads to the big house of the Clan community.
They don’t stop at the house, driving as far as they can toward the Berman house before they have to get out and walk. Mac disappears with Pawel; the two are sitting on the cracked step of the house when Nikolai and the others finally arrive.
It takes time to gather, and Nikolai notes significant faces that are missing. The Mage from the New Hampshire Clan is missing, along with Thorne, and several Mages from the Burlington community. Valentine, however, is there, along with Rory.
Valentine stands near Alia, fiddling with her phone. “Elijah talked David into letting him help today.” She sounds resigned as she scrolls through something. “He headed to the site in Maine last night and they’ve promised me they’ll be here as soon as they can after everything’s done. They have more people than we do, but from what we understand, that site was the location of a significant Emergence of more than a dozen Shadowwalkers all at once, in the early days after the original Emergence. Elijah says it feels icky.”
Valentine’s mouth twists, frowning as she surveys the space around the Berman house. “I think I understand what he means.”
“Until recently, no one disturbed this place, aside from teenagers trying to prove they weren’t afraid of ghosts,” Alia says dryly. “You can blame the claw marks on my husband, but the aura is what was left after Mattie Emerged. We had no idea at the time; we blamed her family’s disappearance on magic.”
Valentine glances sideways at Alia. “I get the feeling that a lot of things we’ve blamed on each other over the years may have been due to misunderstandings,” she says quietly.
Alaric makes a low growling sound, and Corbin wraps an arm around him dragging him down and in rub his cheek against Alaric’s head. The noise shifts to something disgruntled as Alaric tries to wrestle himself free.
“We are on a timeframe here,” Pawel says, voice tight. “If you wouldn’t mind getting started.”
They form a loose circle, with Nikolai, Nikita, Carolyn, Del, Mattie, and Chelsea at the center. Chelsea curls in on herself, a slender column of darkness that Nikolai can feel standing next to him, as if she matches the air around them in ways that everyone else doesn’t. The other Mages circle around them, with Rory at a point where he can both touch Kit and the rest of the circle, and lay his hands on Carolyn’s shoulders at the same time.
“This will work,” Rory mutters. It sounds as if he’s trying to convince himself, and that’s not exactly comforting.
Carolyn looks down at the sketch she holds in her hands, bright and fresh and new, drawn just the day before by Kit. Del’s meadow reflects subtle changes that Nikolai has seen since he first met her.
His Talent isn’t the same as Carolyn’s, but he still looks at that image as a focus as he reaches inside for that place where his abilities lie. He leans back into Seth’s anchoring touch, feeling the real world in Seth’s fingertips and the earth below his feet, even while the Dreamscape tickles over his skin. Nikolai inhales, and on the exhale, he lets it grow, lets the Dreaming come closer to him.
“Now,” Pawel whispers, and the sound echoes around them. Nikolai can see the one word in the air, a soft silvered blue that infuses with light.
Everything feels unreal and all too real all at once. Nikolai slowly turns toward the house and slips his hand into Seth’s. He focuses on the way their fingers curl together as the group moves toward the door that lies open and waiting.
He hopes this is working as planned but they are mid-Ritual and while Nikolai has no idea what the Mages are actually doing, he knows they don’t have time to check their phones. They have to trust that all over the world at this exact moment, groups of Dreamwalkers approach their own liminal spaces in an attempt to enter the Dreamscape together.
They will do this together.
The way ahead is made up of dual images: the scratched and scraped door that hangs open, and a brightly colored front door that is cracked open and waiting. Nikolai crosses the threshold after Carolyn, and stops inside the door as he realizes that his hand is empty.
“Seth?” he turns around to look behind, and there’s Nikita without Heather. Nikolai takes a step toward her, but Nikita’s expression hardens with resolve and she puts her hands on his shoulders.
“They couldn’t come with us here,” she says quietly. “You knew that might happen.” She nudges and he turns to walk with her.
It seems natural to take her hand, to anchor them with each other, their dual selves from different worlds. Nikita squeezes his hand as they stand in the living room.
“This was my home,” Mattie says, turning as she looks around. “As it was then, and still existing in the Dreaming I suppose, and as it is now.”
“This is where we came to find you,” Carolyn agrees. She glances at Del before crossing her arms, shoulders hunched. “I’d really hoped that with Del, we’d be able to do what we did then, and bring the others with us.”
“There are too many of them,” Del says. She offers a slight shrug of her shoulders before she moves to the nearest window, looking through what seems to be bright glass with freshly painted sills, and cracked and dirty glass all at once. “Or maybe there are too many of us, and the Dreamscape wants us for itself. Who knows.”
Nikita and Nikolai. Carolyn. Del. Mattie. And the darkness that is Chelsea, hovering near a corner as if she might melt into it.
She looks uncomfortable in the light.
“We have to assume that it went like this all over the world,” Carolyn says.
“Worlds,” Nikita corrects, emphasizing the plural.
“Worlds,” Carolyn agrees.
“My meadow is outside,” Del comments. She goes to open the window, making a disappointed sound as the sash doesn’t lift. “Door it is.” She skips lightly across the floor, pausing when she reaches the door that lies open, light spilling in around it. “There are a lot of us,” she whispers. “I can feel them. The Dreamscape can barely contain us all, and wants to spill out. But the darkness is pushing in. It’s almost too late.”
She pulls the door wide, and for just a moment, the light is blinding enough that Nikolai brings his free hand up to shade his eyes. The smell of flowers is overwhelming; Nikita sneezes three times, her entire body shaking.
“Let’s go,” Carolyn says, and follows Del through the door.
A lot of us was putting it mildly. The Dreamwalkers stand in knots—groups of anywhere from just a pair to a dozen or more. They are all ages, all races. And there are more of them than Nikolai can count.
Spreading out from the meadow in all directions are places. Nikolai sees the Berman place behind him now, the Benford home like a an image over it. He turns back, wanting to know if he could walk into the Benford home from here, but stops after a step. Not without Seth.
He sees a pond in one direction, a cliff seemingly jutting out of nowhere in another. He swears one is Stonehenge, which makes a kind of sense when he thinks about it, and that may be the largest gathering of Dreamwalkers as well. Some of the liminal places he feels as if he recognizes dimly, other landmarks or legendary locations like Stonehenge. Others are strangely simple, like the truck stop with a flashing neon sign, or the Berman/Benford house behind him. Or the big tree that Grace stands beneath.
Nikolai exhales, and tries to wrap his head around the entire world being here in Del’s meadow. Two worlds, condensed down to entry points in a microcosm that they’ve brought together.
It feels too big and too small all at once.
And it still begs the question: what next?
“There are more people here than in our entire community.”
Nikolai recognizes Brett from his world, his eyes wide as he looks around the meadow.
“We have come together, across two worlds, and we are many,” Amahle says with a gentle smile. “We are well met, and we will persevere.”
“Why is she here?” Grace is angry, jabbing a finger at where Chelsea stands behind Mattie, as if she could somehow become her shadow in the brightness.
“I want to help,” Chelsea whispers.
“The darkness is already crowding in and you bring more?” Grace’s throws their hands wide, and Nikolai follows the gesture. He can see it then, the cracks around every place they’ve brought together. The darkness that threatens to split them all apart. It moves, undulating and alive, and Nikolai imagines he can see faces and hands that grasp and grab at their homes.
He imagines he can see it crumbling.
“Can’t you feel it?” Grace asks.
Nikolai can. It crawls over his skin, pricking at him and pulling at him. It wants to tear him apart, or shove him back to reality. It wants to claim him and suck him dry.
Chelsea takes a step back. “I want to help,” she whispers again. “I don’t want to be part of them. I’m not here to—”
“We have two choices,” Carolyn shouts, and the slow murmur that was building falls silent, cutting the argument short. “We have Dreamwalkers and Travelers both here, and we need to do one of two things before we run out of time.”
Ji-eun and Amahle step forward from their groups. Nikita tugs and Nikolai joins her at Carolyn’s side. They gather slowly, the people he has come to know best from their Dreamwalker network. Even Grace grudgingly joins them, a scowl still twisting their face as they sigh dramatically.
In the distance, Nikolai sees something on the edge of the meadow. Flickering in and out, a third version of some of their selected places. The house that looms in the place of the Benford and Berman homes is larger, a third floor added on, the exterior dark with paint and fallen into disrepair.
“Our third is here,” he murmurs. “Barely, but there’s still something of it out there.”
“It feels hopeless,” Nikita whispers back. “Like it’s waiting for us to fall, too.”
“We have two choices,” Carolyn repeats. Her voice is lower now, but it still carries across the meadow and Nikolai wonders if that’s Del’s doing somehow. Del doesn’t seem to be paying any attention, dancing happily in the sun that streams down in the center of her meadow. At least the people who ring around her will keep her from wandering off.
“We can either pull our two worlds together, squeezing out the Split,” Carolyn says. “Or we can push our worlds apart completely. If we do that, it’s possible the Split will become too big and overwhelm us, or it’ll lose hold.”
“You think we should tie our worlds together,” Ji-eun says.
“What would happen to us? Would we merge into one world? That seems like a bad idea,” Brett says, glancing around the group. “Either you’ll be overrun with Shadows, or we’ll end up overpopulated. We don’t have the same number of people left that you do, but there are still a lot of us. And for the ones who are bedrock, or who have analogs, that could get messy.”
Nikolai tries to imagine a world with two of Alia and he doesn’t think anyone’s ready for that.
“Pawel thinks we might have been one world, once upon a time, and we diverged through whatever small events happened that made us different,” Carolyn says. Nikolai remembers this discussion, vaguely, and it feels right when she says it.
“We’re too different,” he says. “Your world and mine are completely different places, and even though there are similarities I don’t think they can be considered the same anymore. I think that if we pull them closer together, we wouldn’t merge. I’m not even sure anything would change, other than making it so that there’s no room for the Split.”
If there’s no Split lying between the worlds, how would they get home?
That’s not a thought for now.
“No Split means no Shadowwalkers,” Ji-eun says thoughtfully. “Yes, this is our best solution.”
“No Split means no walking death destroying the population of my home.” Brett is emphatic. “I’m in.”
“But what if—?” Grace cuts off when everyone looks at them. They cross their arms, cheeks pulled in as if they are biting their tongue. “Fine,” they say sharply. “But if we cause a cataclysm because we try to squish two realities into one—”
“Three,” Del calls out cheerily.
“I’ve read enough science fiction and comics to know this is a bad idea!” Grace mutters loudly.
“I think it’s worth it,” Nikolai says. He tries to smile when Carolyn offers one of her own, but it feels weak. “There’s a risk, yes, but the reward is higher. We need to end this, not just somehow put a bandage on it, or possibly make it worse.”
“This could still be making it worse,” Grace points out.
“How will we do this?” Amahle asks, and it’s a good question. It’s not like they have any experience in doing something like this.
“We all came from our liminal spaces.” Carolyn gestures at the overlapping places around them. “I’m not experienced on the Dreaming side of things, but if we can bring our reflections—the two or three versions of our spaces—into alignment, then maybe that’ll do it.”
“But what about the Shadowwalkers and the Split? How do we make sure to push them away?” Brett asks.
Nikita makes a small noise, her hand tightening around Nikolai’s abruptly. “That thing. That light thing you do.”
Nikolai’s mouth opens, uncertain. “When I bring the Dreamscape out?” he asks. He needs Seth for that. He needs grounding. He needs to be outside the Dreamscape because that’s what he’s bringing into the real world when he does it. “It’s kind of a weapon, yes, but we’re in the Dreamscape, Nikita. We’re already here.”
“But it gets rid of Shadows,” she says simply. “It pushes them away. And if we push them and the Split away at the same time, they’ll be gone.”
It sounds too easy.
“That might work,” Carolyn agrees.
Other than that it’s too easy to use a trick he’s been doing forever in order to survive, and expect that to save the world, Nikolai can’t think of a reason to object. It means they have to take time, while Nikolai explains to hundreds of Dreamwalkers how to pull on the Dreamscape. How to form it up into small bundles of exploding light, and push it in a certain direction. It’s different here, like it’s right there, wherever he wants it, and directing it out of the Dream seems harder.
It fills him with power, his skin vibrating with this direction connection to his Talent. Around the circle, Dreamwalkers sparkle, their Talent visible to the naked eye as they slowly take control.
Del sighs. “I have a really bad feeling about what this means for my meadow.” She crouches down, running her fingers through the grass. “Just in case,” she whispers. “Goodbye.”
Something flickers in the edge of Nikolai’s vision. He turns to look at the Berman house; it’s wreathed in Shadows, the darkness licking around the edges of it, encroaching on the meadow. “I don’t think we have a lot of time,” he says.
“They’re probably drawn to the amount of power we have in this one place,” Carolyn explains. “Which we can use to our advantage. If they’re here, we can get rid of them. Everyone go back to your own space and start building whatever it is you need to build. Dreamwalkers, if you can reach out to each other, and feel what you’re doing, try to coordinate the timing.”
The Benford house is dark, dim beyond the image of the Berman place. Nikolai hopes that Seth is still back in Haverhill waiting for him, that time is passing differently here than there and that he isn’t panicking.
He feels like if it were him, he’d be panicking.
“Del,” Nikita calls.
Del stays in the center of the meadow, her hands out, butterflies flapping around her, rising into the sky as she slowly spins.
“Guess it’s just us,” Nikita says. She holds out both of her hands, and Nikolai takes them. Carolyn stands nearby, and Mattie and Chelsea watch. Nikolai is aware of other groups of Dreamwalkers doing the same things, and that at some places, there are two groups, as if there’s one from Nikita’s world and one from his own.
It gives him hope that this will be enough. That they can be enough.
“This is going to hurt,” Chelsea murmurs.
That may be the only thing Nikolai regrets. Whatever they are now, the Shadowwalkers were people once. Pawel loved Chelsea and if this works, chances are he’ll never see her again.
Chances are Nikolai will never go home again, too.
He exhales roughly, closing his eyes and extending his senses into the Dreamscape. He can sink into it easily, feeling it rise around him. Nikita’s world and his own, and that faint hint of something else beyond. He feels those and the Shadows, and he clings to them, pulling them in.
The darkness tries to slip between, tries to pull back, and it’s a tug of war. The thing is, it’s a war he knows how to win. All he has to do is twist the dreaming into bright, sparkling particles of unreality, and push those into the darkness.
It builds under his skin, until he feels himself glowing with the effort of keeping it contained.
“Now!” someone shouts.
It’s such a relief to let it go. To open his eyes to the bright diamonds that flash in the sky, that light up the entire Dreamscape until it fills his vision with bright, white light, overloading his mind, painful and sharp like daggers in his skull.
Everything goes incredibly, intensely, bright.
And just as abruptly, it all goes very, very dark.
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Pawel stands talking to two nurses at the station at one end of the maternity section of Unity Central Hospital. Chelsea lingers in the shadows in the corners, hovering near where a young couple sits on couches, an infant cradled in their arms. She reaches out, then pulls her hand back while glancing at Nikolai.
She doesn’t look guilty, but she does seem upset, even though Nikolai can’t see her features well.
Seth shifts his stance, makes a face. “Somehow this is not somewhere I ever expected to find ourselves,” he mutters.
Nikolai has to agree. Hospitals are alien to him after all this time, and the maternity ward was never really on his radar. “She led us here,” he says. “And we made a promise to her. The question is, how are we even going to get on the floor?”
They’d been stopped the second they got off the elevator, and Nikolai still isn’t sure how Pawel convinced the nurses to listen rather than simply putting them back on the elevator and making them leave.
Given that it’s been a good ten minutes and they’re still arguing while Nikolai, Seth, and Chelsea wait, it doesn’t look good.
“We can’t have Rituals on the maternity ward,” one of the nurses says firmly. “I’m very sorry, Professor Szczek, but that’s a hard rule.”
Pawel rocks back on his heels, his hands shoved into his pockets. “Is there still a nurse named Jackie Ellenwood working here?”
The two nurses look at each other. “She’s moved down the hall to NICU. Why?”
“Could you let her know I’m here? And that this has to do with the birth of my son, Conor, and the death of my girlfriend, Chelsea.” Pawel leans on the counter, his attention fully on the two nurses even when Chelsea makes a soft sibilant noise in the background. He smiles, and now that the bags have eased under his eyes, they crinkle attractively. “Please.”
The younger of the two picks up the phone; Nikolai can’t hear her soft conversation.
It doesn’t take long before another nurse walks up from the back of the floor. Her badge has a stripe of color on it, and her scrubs are purple pants instead of green. Her grey hair is pulled back sharply into a bun, but her eyes have smile lines around them that crinkle when she spots Pawel. “It’s good to see you. How is Conor?”
“In for a hell of a surprise when I get around to filling him in on everything that’s happened,” Pawel says dryly. “I know I said it several times back then, but thank you, Jackie, for taking care of us.”
“You looked so lost.” Jackie shakes her head, spreading her hands for a hug that Pawel accepts. She’s taller than he is, and she tucks him in close, patting the back of his head. “I’m sure you’ve done fine in the years since. You’ve grown a bit. Don’t look quite so much like you’re barely out of high school.”
“I was barely out of high school,” Pawel admits with a rueful smile. He gestures, and Nikolai and Seth approach carefully, while Chelsea drifts closer from the other side. “We need your help.”
“I heard you’ve been pestering Naomi and Beryl,” Jackie says easily. She crosses her arms, looking down at him. “What is it you expect me to—” She cuts off, attention shifting sharply to where Chelsea hovers near Pawel’s shoulders. “What is—”
“Short version: Chelsea didn’t die, she Emerged as a Shadowwalker,” Pawel says quickly. “She’s not going to hurt anyone.”
“A Deathstalker?” Jackie takes a step back, her hands up.
“Not exactly,” Chelsea whispers. “It’s complicated. I just want my soul back, and I think I left it here.”
“She’s not a danger to anyone here,” Pawel says quietly. “Not the parents or infants. None of us are. We just need space to see if we can reach her soul. This isn’t—it’s a little complicated. We’ve done it once before, and that was something of an accident. Before we do anything we need to walk through because Chelsea feels a pull here, and we think she can identify the place where the rest of her is waiting. Other than the hospital, the only thing she feels drawn to is me.”
Chelsea smiles slightly, a soft sound escaping. It’s weird and eerie and makes Nikolai’s skin crawl.
Jackie looks past Pawel at Nikolai and Seth. Nikolai tries to look as unassuming and harmless as possible. Her lips purse, discomfort evident in the way she moves stiffly past them with long strides. “I’ll take them back. It’s on me.”
“Thank you,” Pawel says quietly.
“Debts are paid,” Jackie replies, just as softly. “If you need anything more than this, it’s your turn to owe me.”
“Understood.”
Nikolai trails behind, Seth by his side, their fingers almost tangling but not quite. Chelsea leads the way, seeming unbothered by the bright lights as she floats through the hall, moving quickly. She rounds a corner, then pulls up sharply with a loud inhalation, hands pressed in twin blots of darkness against the window. “Here,” she whispers. “I know this place.”
Beyond the window lie neat lines of bassinets, most with a small child nestled within. Some sleep, others are fussing and crying. One is empty, and a nurse sits in a rocking chair off to one side to give an infant a bottle.
“I have never seen so many babies in one place,” Seth murmurs. “Hell, I haven’t seen this many babies ever, not since the Split.”
Jackie gives him a look, frowning.
“The nursery, of course.” Pawel rubs his face with his hand. “This is the busiest place, and the one place I can almost guarantee they won’t let us do a ritual. Chelsea, are you sure?”
Her shadowed head nods; she doesn’t look away from the infants.
Nikolai closes his eyes and reaches for the Dreamscape. This isn’t like the Berman house. He can’t feel it there without reaching. But it is there as soon as he tries to see it. Like an illusion at the edges of his sight, a liminal space that’s wrapped around this spot as well as Pawel and Chelsea.
As Pawel draws Jackie away to speak to her, the lines thin, falling away.
“Pawel,” Nikolai calls out.
Pawel stops and turns, taking a few steps back. The sense is stronger again as he draws closer. That gives Nikolai an idea.
“Chelsea, can you go with Pawel?” Nikolai waves them both off. Pawel steps away first; Chelsea takes time to pull herself away from the glass. As she approaches Pawel and Jackie, the liminal lines return. They aren’t as strong as before, but they are stronger as long as the two of them are together.
“I think we can use a different room, as long as its near here,” Nikolai suggests. “And as long as the two of you are together.”
“Do you know what to do?” Chelsea asks.
Only vaguely, based on what he’s heard about Carolyn’s retrieval of Mattie. But he’s relatively sure that it will work, and that it will be safe. And that it absolutely depends on Carolyn’s presence along with his. “Yes,” he says. “If we have a space, and I can get Carolyn here, we can do it.”
Jackie’s mouth is pinched, her expression tight.
“Is there an available room?” Pawel asks. His tone is careful, as if he’s trying not to poke too hard.
“What, exactly, are you planning to do?” Jackie replies. She leads the way down the hall, stopping at a door that sits closed. Upon opening it, there is one bed inside, and far too many machines. “For cases when we have someone we want to keep a close eye on,” she says. “Which luckily we don’t have right now, or someone looking for a private room. If I say yes, that means you’ll need to be quick. There’s always someone in labor & delivery, and we are always bringing new people onto the floor while others leave. We have a quick turnaround here. So what, exactly, are you planning to do?”
Pawel looks to Nikolai, and he takes a step closer to the door in response. “Seth and I will call Carolyn,” Nikolai says. They stay in the same room, but Pawel moves closer to the window with Jackie and Chelsea, while Nikolai and Seth hover close to the door. Nikolai puts his phone on speaker, but dials down the volume before he presses Carolyn’s name and lets the phone make the call.
“Hello?” she answers. “Nikolai. Is everything okay with Pawel? Am I on speaker?”
“You are. We’re actually in the—” Nikolai cuts off as Seth touches his shoulder and shakes his head. Nikolai realizes what he was about to say and rethinks it. Carolyn would worry if he starts with the hospital and no context. “Chelsea showed up and said she’s ready to take us back, but she needs her soul first. Which means we need your help.”
“My help?”
“You worked with Del to bring Mattie back, right?” Seth asks quickly. “That means you can work with Nikolai to do the same thing for Chelsea. We need to do this so we can go home. Please, Carolyn.”
He makes it sound so simple. Nikolai hopes it’s anywhere near that simple when they actually do it.
“I have no idea how I did it before—”
“We need to try,” Seth interrupts her. “Please. We’re at the maternity ward at Unity Central Hospital and Chelsea says her soul is here. Nikolai thinks he can see how….”
“I can see the lines in the liminal spaces around where Chelsea thinks her soul is, and more importantly, around Chelsea and Pawel when they’re together. She’s linked to him, and as long as we’re close to her soul, I think we can step in. The tough part is going to be getting back out,” Nikolai says. He’s heard the story; he knows how it worked before. He suspects he even understands why people went with them physically for Mattie’s soul, but only Dreamwalkers went into the Berman house during the Ritual.
If he’s right, Seth and Pawel should travel into the Dreamscape this time, too.
“I’ll be there. Make sure we have the right place to do this.” There’s a rustling sound in the background, then the call abruptly drops silent.
When Nikolai looks up from the phone, Jackie is staring at him from the other side of the room.
“Are you absolutely certain that this will not affect the people on this floor—adults and children alike?” Jackie asks.
“As certain as I can be,” Nikolai replies. There are chances, of course. There are always chances. But from what he understands of Mattie’s situation, and what he can see here, he suspects that once the Ritual is invoked, they won’t be in the hospital at all.
It takes time for Carolyn to get there. Jackie leaves long enough to tell the nurses to send Carolyn back as soon as she arrives, then she spends her time chatting with Pawel, catching up on life over the last years. Jackie’s body language is tight, and Seth murmurs at one point that she’s anxious, but she doesn’t shut them down. That’s about the best they can hope for, Nikolai thinks.
When Carolyn arrives, she’s digging through the small purse she wears slung across her body. She glances up as she enters the room, then pulls something out and unfolds it. “Okay,” she says. “I’m ready when you are.”
“I think it’s probably for the best if you wait outside the room,” Pawel says to Jackie. “Any idea how far?”
“The liminal space is pretty tight around the two of you,” Nikolai gestures to Chelsea and Pawel. “So she could probably stay in the room if she feels like she needs to be; we just need to be as far apart as possible. And the closer we are to the door the better, so maybe over there, by the window?” He points, eyeballing the distance. He thinks the door will be a barrier for anyone in the hall outside, and the distance will be enough to keep Jackie out of whatever opens up.
“I’d rather be in the room.” Jackie relocates to the opposite side from the door, leaning back against the window ledge. She crosses her arms, jerks her chin toward where Carolyn waits at the door. “Go on then. Let’s get this done.”
“I’ll come back and let you know,” Pawel promises.
“You think you’re leaving,” Jackie says, her tone flat.
“I think we’re all leaving,” Pawel responds. “If it works like the last time, we went into the Dreamscape in one place, and came out in another. That’s what Carolyn’s here for.”
Carolyn waves the piece of paper in her hand. “I’ve already warned everyone in the house. This is assuming we can repeat what we did before.”
What she and Del did before; Nikolai has only heard the stories. Seth’s touch to his back anchors him, pulls him back from the precipice he teeters on, thinking about the pressure. “I’m ready,” Nikolai says.
He reaches for the sense of Dreaming that’s fixed around Pawel and Chelsea. He can feel the way it trails back out of the room, down the hall and leading to the room with all the infants. But it’s centered upon the two of them here, and as Pawel reaches for Chelsea’s hand, it blooms around Nikolai. He grabs hold and snaps it in place, and the room changes.
Chelsea stands by the door, her hand on the knob and the door half open. She is no longer wreathed in shadows, instead wholly human. Her hospital gown gaps in the back, showing serviceable underwear that she doesn’t seem to care is visible. She holds a pole on wheels in her other hand, a bag handing from it, a slender tube leading to an IV on her arm. Her hair is pulled back, with wisps escaping in tangles around her face, and her skin is pale. “Come on,” she calls out. “I want to see our son.”
Pawel stands there, mouth open slightly. “Chelsea,” he whispers.
“That’s who I am. Hasn’t changed, even though I suppose someone is going to be calling me Mommy soon enough. When he can talk. Not you.” Chelsea lets go of the door to stab a finger in Pawel’s direction.
When he doesn’t move, and the door bangs shut, she grabs her IV stand and moves closer to him. “What is it? Are you afraid of being a father?”
“Look at me,” Pawel whispers. “Look at them, Chelsea.”
Her brow furrows, and she slowly reaches up to thread her fingers through his bangs. She pinches a hair and plucks it, grinning when he makes a face. “Grey hair,” she announces. “You’d think you were the one giving birth, not me.”
She spares a brief glance for Nikolai, gaze drifting to Seth and Carolyn after that. She looks about to say something, but the door swings open behind her, and she turns, hands reaching out for the bassinet on wheels. “Here he is!”
“Do you think she even realizes?” Seth murmurs.
Nikolai shakes his head. “Was it like this with Mattie?”
Carolyn lowers the piece of paper in her hand. “A little. She was stuck at the time when she Emerged, that piece of her in the Dreamscape. Mattie was a little girl. This is the Chelsea that just gave birth, I guess. But Mattie cared that the people she recognized were older and she didn’t know why. Chelsea just doesn’t seem to care that we’re even here.”
“Maybe she just missed Pawel,” Seth points out, as Chelsea grabs Pawel’s hand and pulls him to where the bassinet sits, a ghostly nurse nearby.
“I think we need to go,” Carolyn says. She raises her voice, and Pawel flinches at her loud words. “We can’t stay here. We don’t know what would happen if we stayed too long. You’ll see my room in a minute and when you see it, you have to go into it. And take her with you.” She looks at Nikolai. “You and I are going to leave last, since I have to keep the door open, and you’re in charge of the Dreamscape.”
She focuses intently on the piece of paper in her hand, and the image of her room slowly grows on one side of the room.
Pawel touches Chelsea’s arm, slides his fingers down to take her hand. “I need you to come with me, just for a moment. Please.”
“But what about—”
“He’ll be fine. I promise, you’ll get to see him again.” Pawel’s voice is choked. “Chelsea. Please.”
She smiles as she follows him, stepping into the image of Carolyn’s room, with Seth close behind.
Carolyn holds out one hand, and Nikolai is more than willing to clasp it, creating that contact between them as they walk through together.
Pawel stands in the middle of Carolyn’s room, head bent as he clasps Chelsea to him, one hand cradling the back of her head. He murmurs something Nikolai can’t hear, and Chelsea’s shoulders shake with tears. She’s no longer the pale girl in a hospital gown, nor a woman made of shadows. Instead she’s wearing jeans and a t-shirt that seem all too normal, despite her bare feet and tangled hair.
“We did it,” Seth says, and Pawel glances up, almost as if he’s surprised to see them there.
“We did it,” he confirms. He steps back, his hands on Chelsea’s shoulders. She lowers both hands to press against her stomach, bending forward but not quite doubling over. “Chelsea.” She lifts red-rimmed eyes to look at him, her shoulders still shaking. “About nine years,” he says softly.
A low cry and she pushes close to him again; he wraps his arms around her and holds on tight.
Nikolai doesn’t think they’ll be doing anything other than this any time soon. Chelsea seems to have a loose hold on reality, and he’s not sure how much she remembers.
“Why can’t we just do that for us?” Seth says, gesturing at the door. “Use one of your images and open up a portal back to our house. Our home.”
“I can’t reach your world,” Carolyn reminds him. “I tried to get home that way when we first arrived there, remember? I couldn’t reach here, I couldn’t even reach Kit or Serina. It’s not how it works, for me. Maybe if I’m physically in the Dreamscape, like we just were—”
“Then we go back,” Seth says flatly. “We go back now, and you send us out the other side.”
“It doesn’t work like that,” Nikolai says. He can’t be sure if his hypothesis is exactly right, but it seems to fit all the data he’s seen. “Remember, when we went into the Dreaming during the Ritual, you couldn’t come with us. I fully intended for you to be there as my anchor, and you weren’t.”
“Then why—”
“Because of her soul,” Nikolai says. “That’s been the difference both times that non-Dreamwalkers have gone into the Dreamscape. They’ve been pulled in because there was a Shadowwalker, and that’s part of what they do. But that’s about place and the right person, and it’s not going to happen all the time. I think the only way for us to go home right now is for someone like Mattie or Chelsea to take us. Just like she promised.” Maybe someday Carolyn will have that ability, too, but Nikolai isn’t going to point that out now. He doesn’t want to wait, when Chelsea already promised to take care of them.
He glances at where Pawel still stands, wrapped around Chelsea like a comforting blanket.
“But that’s not going to be right now,” Nikolai says softly. “Why don’t we see if we can get a ride back to the hospital. I don’t think Pawel’s going to be bringing Jackie an update any time soon, so we might as well do it.”
“I can probably get Trish to drive,” Carolyn offers. She pulls open the door and ushers them out. They leave Pawel and Chelsea behind, giving them time to figure out what happens next.
Nikolai sympathizes. He feels like that’s been his whole life, and he’s looking forward to the time when the answer is to just live his life. Soon, he hopes. Soon.
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Nikolai almost expects a celebration in Haverhill the next day, but there is nothing overtly done. Instead there is an air of calm that replaces the anxious expectation that had suffused them all in the recent weeks. In many ways, that’s easier. Nikolai feels like he can finally relax, even if there are still things that he needs to do. The worst of it is over; they have time for the rest.
His home will still be there, his family alive and waiting for him, and that’s the most important thing.
The delegates drift away, most of the older crowd and Clan leaving earlier, while many of the Mages linger. Rory says goodbye to his parents and grandparents, but Valentine stays, her daughter trailing after Alaric like a brightly-caped duckling, while her son lingers around the edges of the PHU crowd, listening intently.
At one point Cass turns to Elijah, her lips pursed. He blinks, as if surprised to gain the regard of one of the older people. “You’re staring,” she says curtly.
“So?” he retorts. “You do the same thing. Besides. I might want to go to PHU someday. I’m studying you.”
“Hmph.” Cass crosses her arms and turns her back on Elijah. At the same time, she takes a step to the right, a little closer to Nate, making space for Elijah in the circle.
He hesitates before stepping in and allowing them to include him.
Dayton makes a late entrance, moving as if she doesn’t have a care in the world while the rest of her community’s contingent waits impatiently to start the long drive home. Stormy trails behind her, barefoot and still in a rumpled sleep shirt and shorts. Stormy rubs at her eyes, yawning, stretching just as Dayton turns around and reaches for her.
Stormy falls against her with a small noise that turns to a low rumble as Dayton kisses her, then rubs her cheek against Stormy’s. Dayton sets her back on her feet, and Stormy sways slightly, her cheek flushed from the attention.
“I knew that was flirting when you met her,” Rory mutters.
“It wasn’t, not then, but oh man, she is fun,” Stormy admits. “It’s probably not a long-term thing, but it is going to be a good time every time we meet up. When are you planning on staging another crisis? I’ll pencil in another round of crisis survival sex.”
Mac coughs around a laugh while Rory looks pained. “I don’t need the details,” he mumbles, while Stormy nudges him with her shoulder.
“You’re still taking me back to PHU for the festival this weekend, right?” she says. “I promise to behave better than Thorne. Just let me go shower and pack up, and I’ll be ready to go.”
“It’s not hard to behave better than Thorne!” Rory calls after her, and Stormy laughs as she blows him a kiss before walking away.
Heather’s phone pings, and she opens it up, frowning. “I think I’m missing an exam. I don’t even remember an exam being scheduled this week. Why would anyone schedule an exam for election week? Everyone skips classes this week.”
“The professor’s a dick, remember?” Cass mutters. “I’m pretty sure he scheduled it on purpose because everyone still on campus probably got drunk last night.”
“Your absences are excused,” Pawel says. “I spoke to administration and you have all been noted as working on a special project for me, details to be provided upon my return to the school. You’ll be able to make up the exam next week, just in time for finals.”
“Lovely,” Heather mutters. “I didn’t have enough work to do in the next two weeks. Is there any chance they’ll just drop those grades? We did save the world.”
“I don’t think there’s any magic you can work for that one,” Nikita murmurs, her arm around Heather’s back. “But that’s okay. We just need to get through the tests—we can scream a lot during primal scream time—and then we get a whole summer off.”
“Some of us have to work for the summer,” Rory points out.
“You’re touring,” Nikita counters.
“That’s work! Have you ever set up heavy equipment, then spent an hour performing on a hot stage, and then lugged that heavy equipment off stage again so you could pack it up before getting stuck in a small, beat up van for hours on the road? It’s hard work,” Rory grumbles. “Plus it stinks. And I think Andy’s fiancé is coming along with us, and that’s just going to make all the arrangements at the motels messy. Plus we have an album to record. That we need to write songs for.”
Someone else counters with an example of working on a farm for the summer, and someone else complains about serving ice cream to hoards of small children. It’s all outside of Nikolai’s frame of reference, but it sounds like it’s normal for them.
Seth wraps his arms around Nikolai, whispering, “I’m looking forward to getting back to Havenhill and getting our own jobs. It’ll be hard work there, but it’ll be safe. Imagine what it’s going to be like when nothing’s chasing us, and the world isn’t falling into darkness.”
It sounds like bliss.
“Dax!” Cass’s voice breaks through the low chatter as Dax comes into the room. His light jacket is unzipped, hanging open, and his curly hair is windswept. He smiles, and there’s something lighter in his expression as he approaches Cass, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her quickly.
“Well?” Alaric asks.
“It’s done,” Dax says, his smile infusing his tone. “Orson’s settled, finally. He might still be around; I get the impression he wanted to stick around for you and Drea, if you want him to. But he’s not worried about war anymore. If he’s worried about you in general, that’s something you’ll have to solve yourself. If you go there to talk, he might be listening.”
“Is there a point, if he can’t talk back?” Alaric growls softly. Chris’s hand on his back stops him from stepping forward, but his expression is gloomy.
“Would it make you feel better?” Dax asks.
Alaric rocks back, gaze dropping.
“Let’s take a walk,” Chris says quietly. “We don’t have to leave right this second, and I don’t mind heading out there.” He slides his hand into Alaric’s and waits.
Alaric huffs, a disgruntled sound. “Thanks,” he grumbles before he turns away.
“Hey.” Carolyn touches Nikolai’s arm. “Can we talk for a second? Before we all get into cars and things get even more chaotic than they already feel.”
Nikolai glances at Seth; with his tacit approval, they both head for the back of the house and Carolyn follows them outside.
They sit on the bench that says for cats.
“Del left early,” Carolyn says quietly. “She woke me up before she went, but Sam and Shawn wanted to get home, and I think they were worried that if she stayed, she’d go back into the Dreamscape.”
“They think taking her home is going to change that?” Nikolai knows Carolyn understands from the way she smiles. “I don’t think anything will keep Del out of the Dreaming.”
“It wasn’t always about that for her,” Carolyn admits. “A long time ago we were very different people. We’re still trying to catch up with who we are now. But yeah, she’ll be there. She said to tell you that she’ll stay in touch with you, and that she promises not to get lost.”
Nikolai isn’t sure he believes that. He thinks the Dreamscape is a siren’s song to Del, something that wants to pull her in. It’s different from how it usually is for other Dreamwalkers who want to pull the Dreamscape into the real world instead. “You can tell her I’ll come find her after I’m home,” he promises in return. “But first Seth and I have to figure out how to get home.”
“Actually.” Carolyn twists her hands together. “I have a favor to ask you. Before you go.”
Nikolai can’t think why she’s nervous, unless…. “Does it involve staying? Because we really don’t want to unless we’re stuck,” he admits. “You’ve got a lot of good things here, but home has Josef and Mikhail.”
A soft, rough laugh. “No, I know you want to go, and I don’t blame you. I can’t imagine being somewhere separated from Kit, and yes, we’re twins, so maybe it’s different, and actually that—” She looks at him sideways. “Have you thought about what it’ll be like to be apart from Nikita now?”
“We aren’t that kind of close.” The words come easily, because they aren’t. Not like twins who were raised together, and not even like his brothers, despite the years when Nikolai thought they were dead. “It’s more like we’re the same person, not like siblings.” He likes Nikita, but he can handle the idea of being in a different world again. That seems more right than how they are now.
“I’d actually like to take a look at that scientifically.” Carolyn’s fingers tighten where they’re tangled in her lap. “This probably isn’t a thing in your world anymore; maybe it was before the Split. But we do a lot of genetic testing. People can send off their spit and have it come back with a report saying whether they’re related. People are always trying to find out their genetic heritage, or seeking out lost relatives. But I was thinking that I’d like to see how you and Nikita are related. If you wouldn’t mind.”
“Does it hurt?” Nikolai asks. When Carolyn shakes her head, he adds, “Is it dangerous?”
“Not at all. It’d just be a blueprint for who you are, and nothing really could be done with it.” Carolyn wrinkles her nose. “It might cause some confusion with the government since technically you don’t exist, but that’s what Sera’s for, I think. We can have her take care of things.” Her shoulders are still hunched and tense. “If you’re leaving, you probably won’t ever find out what—”
“Tell Del, have her tell me if you want to make sure I have that kind of closure,” Nikolai suggests. “You’ve already said she and I have a date to lie around in the meadow and watch butterflies, right?”
Carolyn’s shoulders soften as she laughs. “Right. I guess you do. I think—this might tell us something more about the genetics of Talent. Which I really would like to know more about, even though that’s not my field. I think it’ll help Kit, though. He wants to be a doctor. And I want to study why people do what they do, and sometimes knowing how things work helps. And the more we know about these twinned worlds—”
“The more of them you can go off and save?” Nikolai asks.
Carolyn gives him a startled look. “That’s not—”
“You said your Traveling is linked to the same kind of Talent that Dreamwalkers have and Shadowwalkers have, right?” It makes a kind of sense to Nikolai. “Now that the Split isn’t a pit of darkness, maybe it’s something you can use, too. Maybe you’re more like a traditional Shadowwalker than the corrupted kind that had been Emerging, and that’s why you couldn’t figure out how you fit in.”
“I—” Carolyn cuts off, her mouth slightly open.
Nikolai figures that’s a thought for later, because it might take Carolyn some time to come to terms with it. He reaches over, covers her tightly clasped hands with his own and squeezes. “Maybe I’ll see you again someday, too. I’m not sure I can say I’m glad about all of the things that have happened, but I’m glad we met, and I’m glad we were able to help each other here.”
He rises, Seth coming with him. When Nikolai reaches, Seth’s hand is there, fingers tangling together like they’ve always fit.
Carolyn stays where they left her, head bowed, brow furrowed.
“Do you want us to tell someone—”
Carolyn shakes her head. “Pretty sure Kit won’t let them leave without me,” she says quietly. “I’m just going to sit here and think for a little bit.”
“That was a hell of a theory to drop on her,” Seth whispers as they walk back into the house. Voices come from the front and they head in that direction so they can catch up with their ride back to PHU. “I didn’t even think of it.”
“I might be wrong,” Nikolai says. He doesn’t think he is, though. The more he rolls it over in his head, the more sense it makes. And he suspects that’s how they made it from one world to another in the first place. She might not be able to control it now, but he suspects that Carolyn is some kind of hybrid Shadowwalker that let her use the Split as it was. And hopefully as it is, eventually, too.
Valentine stands in the hall, meeting them before they can get to the crowd at the front. “I spent some time talking to Alaric,” she says.
“About Havenhill?” Seth asks, nodding as soon as he asks. “Okay, yes, about Havenhill.”
“Empaths are honestly a little disturbing,” Valentine replies. She looks down the hall, then motions for them to move into the great hall. It’s empty and echoing, aside from some tables around the edges, and a few chairs.
Nikolai really isn’t in the mood to sit down for another serious conversation again. “He told you about Val?”
“My counterpart that’s married to Alia’s counterpart? Yes,” Valentine agrees. “And that I apparently helped create this safe haven, and that I’m Alia’s right hand there, and her reasonability. And that I told you to leave.”
“It was a group decision, I think,” Nikolai says. “And we didn’t argue it. We broke the wards and let the Shadows in. We broke the rules of Havenhill.”
“Do you get to go back?” Valentine asks.
Seth laughs dryly.
“If we can figure out how,” Nikolai admits. “Why?”
Valentine stands with arms akimbo, hands resting on her hips and wrists bent with her elbows wide. She turns on her heels, looking out over the large room. As she exhales, tight shoulders lower and loosen, although her stance remains stiff. “Do you think you can carry anything back with you? I’d like to send you some research to give to the me of your world. They’re things I’d understand, and things I might not have thought of because we’re just different enough.”
“If we can carry it, maybe,” Seth says slowly. “Or if we read it, we might remember enough.”
Valentine makes a small displeased noise. “I think it’s going to be more than you’ll want to memorize. And you aren’t traditional Mages. You don’t know the Rituals and if you make mistakes when translating it through your memory, it might not go well when Val tries to use it. I’ll email Pawel. He can print it, and if you can carry it, fine. If not, well, I tried.”
“And what about here?” Seth asks.
Valentine turns back slowly, her weight resting on one heel as she turns. “What about here?”
“You’re going to work toward forging a relationship with Alia now, right?” Seth says firmly. “We may have pushed out the darkness created by the Shadows, but you still have a government out there that created them in the first place. You’re going to need each other.”
“What kind of relationship do you mean?” Valentine says curtly.
Seth raises his eyebrows. “The alliance kind. She’s married. I’m guessing you have a husband somewhere—”
“We divorced,” Valentine interrupts.
Seth makes a motion with his hand as if that isn’t important. “I’m not saying to get involved with her romantically. But befriend her. Forge that alliance between here and Burlington, the same one that Alaric already started.”
Valentine rocks backwards, turns away again as her hands slowly fall from her hips to hang by her sides. “We’ve started, too. I met with Theobald yesterday, and with Alaric, and we aren’t going to stay separate. We need each other, you’re right. The world needs to change, and I’m ready for that. From what I’ve heard of your world, it sounds like that change was pivotal to helping keep Talented people safe. We aren’t as endangered, but there are things here, as well. Like the virus that broke out in New Hampshire. Like the Shadows. Like the old histories between us that we could repeat again if we don’t watch out. So yes.” She turns back slowly. “We’ve made our alliance. This might not be your Havenhill, but we will work on creating a haven, both here and in Burlington, and possibly amongst the other communities as well. We are bringing our world together.”
Seth hesitates, his expression intent as if he’s trying to read her. He finally nods, and reaches back to tug Nikolai forward. “I think we’re all set, then. I’m glad things are in good hands here.”
Valentine doesn’t ask before stepping forward, her arms around both of them as she tugs them in. It feels awkward and strange, as she kisses first Seth’s cheek, then Nikolai’s. This Valentine is much more open—much less hardened—than their Val.
“Don’t look at me like that,” Valentine says. “Give her time to warm up to you. And to relax. I can imagine what she’s like.”
“You should see Alia,” Nikolai mutters.
Valentine laughs at that.
She keeps her arms around them as they move through the house and out to the front, where most of the cars are gone, but a few still linger. Pawel stands with Alia, his hand out and clasped in hers. She stands almost relaxed, her shoulders rested and loose as they speak quietly before Pawel finally draws back.
He looks up at waves as Nikolai and Seth emerge from the house. “I’d wondered if I was going to have to go find you. Mac’s already in the car. Ready to go?”
Pawel still looks like he’s half a ghost. His skin is pale, his eyes darkly rimmed in shadows. But there’s a life to his step that’s been missing, and Nikolai suspects that he’s slept more than anyone else. Which is good; he needed it.
Nikolai pauses by the car to take one last look at the big house. Alia stands on the step, as Valentine turns to go inside. It’s familiar, but not, and Nikolai hopes that the next time he sees something similar, he’ll be home.
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There is heat beneath him, strong and solid. Nikolai’s fingers press against the hair on Seth’s chest, his hand trapped under Seth’s shirt, with Seth’s heart beating strong beneath Nikolai’s palm. Nikolai lies face down, his cheek pressed to Seth’s shoulder, his leg thrown over Seth’s, and a body presses in behind him, trapping him there.
He has no idea why someone else would be in his bed.
He rouses slowly, inhaling more deeply, exhaling for several long counts as Seth’s hand twitches against the back of his head. The body behind Nikolai moves, rolling away, and while it’s not cold, he feels the sudden shift in temperature.
“Some of them are waking up.” A low whisper, and when Nikolai blinks his eyes carefully open, Drea is bent over them, her face far too close. She straightens up, turns to speak to someone behind her. “Nikolai’s awake. They’ll probably all start waking up soon.”
Seth stretches beneath him, making a small sound of irritation. Nikolai uses the moment to sit up, taking stock. He’s still dressed, aside from his shoes. The sun is out, visible despite drawn curtains, although it might be low enough to be later in the afternoon. For all he knows, it could be a completely different day.
The bed is full.
It’s a large bed, and it’s more than full, with seven people in it. The body at Nikolai’s back was Mattie, and it looks strange to see her lying there, so still with sleep. She looks like nothing more than any other exhausted person, her face as relaxed as Heather or Nikita. Del might be dreaming, her expression tight and twisted; she clings to Carolyn, who has one arm around Del’s shoulders, the other thrown wide and hanging off the bed.
They are all waking at different rates, now that Nikolai has disturbed the equilibrium by sitting up.
The room is full as well. Alaric sits in a rocking chair, a basket by his side and knitting in his hands. The needles slide and click as he works, his gaze watchful. He nods when Nikolai meets his eyes, then drops his gaze back to his work. Corbin stands behind Drea, his hand on her shoulder. Shawn and Sam are both nearby, seeming too large for the space where they’ve squeezed between wall and bed, almost within reach of Del if they push past where Carolyn half falls off the bed. Chris is near Alaric, and Dax and Nate are deeply involved in a quiet conversation on the far side of the room, sitting on the floor while Cass lies next to them, her head in Dax’s lap, her mouth open and lax with sleep.
Drea straightens up, hands on her hips. “Mac’s gone to get Pawel and the others,” she says. “We should probably get you all something to eat. You expended a lot of energy.”
They’d been promised beer and pizza and going home after the Ritual. That obviously didn’t happen. Nikolai’s barely awake enough to figure out what did happen instead, other than ending up in bed with several other exhausted people.
“Someone should definitely get them something to eat,” Alaric replies, never looking up. “Corbin.”
“Fine, fine, I’ll go do your bidding.” Corbin catches Drea’s hand as he walks away. “Come with me and help. This room’s getting crowded anyway, and I hear more people coming.”
“Kit’s on his way with Rory,” Drea adds, waving as she’s pulled out the door.
Alaric lowers his needles. “I knew that. I can hear as well as they can.” He makes a low grumbling noise. “Don’t start talking until you’re all awake and everyone’s here.”
The people not in the bed all seem to be waiting for something. Staring at the bed and the pile of half-awake bodies as if they were going to start performing any moment now.
Nikolai is nowhere near awake enough to perform on demand. Instead he pushes the blankets back and carefully untangles himself to swing his legs out of the bed. His body aches from head to toe, and for a moment the room wavers until he manages to get it to stay still. “I need to pee,” he says firmly.
He’s thankful that they let him go alone.
On his way back, he meets Seth in the hall. Nikolai steps to the side to let Del and Carolyn push past him; Seth grabs him and turns him, pushing him back against the wall. Seth gets his hands on Nikolai’s face, gently cradling his head before he pats across his shoulders, across his chest. Nikolai catches his hands, presses them to him. “I’m fine,” he says.
“You weren’t,” Seth replies. His voice is tight. Hurt. “You were inside a building that disappeared, and you were unconscious. Valentine thought you’d be fine, but we had no idea if you’d wake up today.”
“It was today.” Nikolai hadn’t been sure about that when he woke up. His sleep had been dreamless, the kind of deep sleep that didn’t feel like time had passed. “I just—we did the thing with the light.”
Seth blinks. “You brought the Dreaming… into the Dreaming?”
When he puts it like that, it sounds odd. “Something like that. We used it to push everything dark away while we made our worlds close.” Nikolai can say it—he knows exactly what they did and how it felt—but it feels impossible to describe it any more than that. “I’m pretty sure we did what we needed to do.”
A rough cough catches his attention. Alia and Valentine stand at the door to Alaric’s room, waiting for them to return. Carolyn and Del emerge from the bathroom, passing by Nikolai and Seth in the hall. Nikolai tangles his fingers with Seth’s and together they make their way back in, taking a seat on one side of the bed. It takes time for the rest of the group to freshen up after their sleep, and by that time Pawel is there as well, and Corbin and Drea have returned with a cart of food.
The large room feels very small with everyone crammed into this one space.
“The Berman house is gone.” Alia opens the conversation with that fact, ignoring that the people she’s speaking to have their mouths full with sandwiches or sweet fruit. “It has been razed, as if it no longer existed.”
“Collapsed,” Carolyn asks around a mouthful of ham. “Like the Tower crumbling down.”
Pawel shakes his head. “Gone,” he corrects. “Almost as if it never existed. The grounds are clean, and you were all lying in the midst of the space where it used to be.”
“It no longer reeks,” Alia adds. “The scent of death and darkness is gone.”
“If houses grew like trees, a sapling would be sprouting there right now,” Valentine comments. She grins. “It’s not just cleansed, it’s ready to be built. It’s aching to be built, really. Magically provident. If you’re thinking of opening this community to Mages, that would be an excellent place for one to build a home.”
“Are you planning on staying?” Alia asks sharply.
Alaric makes a choked off sound.
“We know what we saw from the outside,” Pawel interrupts before Valentine can respond. “The Berman house… imploded, for lack of a better term. It disappeared, it’s cleansed, and the remnants of Shadows felt as if they disappeared. The ritual was completed from our perspective. Can you tell us what happened from your perspective?”
Seth’s hand tightens on Nikolai’s.
Nikolai glances at Nikita, who looks to Del. She looks to Carolyn, who makes a soft huffing sound.
Mattie mutters, “Don’t expect me to explain it. I’m not entirely sure what happened or how it happened. It hurt, and I have a headache. I haven’t had a headache in more years than I can really think about and it feels unfair.”
“I think cleansing is a great word for it,” Nikita says cheerfully. “We brought out light and pushed the darkness away. It felt like we were scrubbing it out of the Dreamscape.”
Del flicks fingers next to her own head, almost hitting Shawn in the face. “I can feel it,” she says, and when Shawn tries to capture her hand, she pushes him back. “More than before. It’s a more constant presence for me now.”
Nikolai isn’t sure that’s a good thing. It’s not the same for him; the Dreamscape is safely where it belongs as far as he can tell. He can’t feel the itch or the need to call to it. He glances at Nikita, and she nods slightly; they’re on the same wavelength.
“It’s brighter there now. I looked around some while we were sleeping, and everything’s as it should be.” Del looks at Nikolai. “I think your world is going to be in better shape. No one was there for me to talk to about it, but I hope it means your infestation will be done. You need a chance to heal.”
“We need to go home first,” Seth comments.
Which is true. “The question is, how do we get there?” Nikolai asks slowly. “I mean, that’s been the question all along, but right now we have two very immediate problems. If the Split is gone, then what’s the path between here and there? And Chelsea was with us in the Dreamscape, and she’s not here now.”
“She wasn’t there when the house disappeared, either.” Pawel’s voice is flat, almost carefully neutral. “It is very possible that depending on how the Ritual affected the Shadowwalkers, she may no longer be able to enter this world.”
“I don’t think it would have destroyed existing Shadowwalkers, but I’m very hopeful that by removing the Split as an influence, we’ve stopped the Emergence of any more….” Carolyn hesitates. “I don’t want to say they were broken. Mutated, perhaps. Fusions with Deathstalkers and Soulstealers. I think that if Shadowwalkers Emerge now, they will be true Shadowwalkers.”
“Something changed,” Mattie mutters. She lies curled on her side, a pillow over her head. “I have never been this exhausted since I changed. You sucked my soul out.”
Pawel turns away, his arms crossed. “Excuse me,” he says tightly. The door creaks when he yanks it open, thumps as it drops closed behind him when he goes.
Carolyn pats Mattie on the head. “You’re just more human than before. You’ll adjust, and you’ll be fine. I think we may have removed the remains of the Soulstealer influences from you. It may have affected Chelsea similarly, which means she might also be exhausted. But I think that wherever she is, she’s probably going to be fine.” She glances at Mac, who disappears from the room. “I think that this is it. We’re done. As done as it’s going to get.”
Valentine turns to Alia. “Which means we ally, instead of making war.”
Alaric slowly bundles his knitting into a bag, setting it in the basket by his feet. “I think there are people here who need to talk about Clan and Mage business. We should make arrangements for all our communities, and plan for the future.” As he stands, he says gruffly, “Corbin, Drea, stand with me for this. Mom….” His voice gentles. “You’ll be my voice for the near future.”
“I’ll be your voice,” Alia agrees. She tilts her head, a small smile gracing her expression. “And?”
“See if Dad would like to be there for the talks,” Alaric says firmly. Drea exhales roughly, and Corbin makes a small squawk that sounds like protest. Alaric continues speaking before Corbin can get his mouth open. “I want to give him one more chance to be involved. I’d rather have him work with you, than do nothing. He has experiences that would help, but he needs to be open to these alliances. He needs to be ready to move forward.”
“I’ll go speak with him.” Alia’s smile is wider than any Nikolai has seen from her—either this one or the one in his home world. She is pleased with Alaric’s decision in a way that has Seth squeezing Nikolai’s hand in response to her emotions spilling over, and it leaves Nikolai with hopes for the Haverhill community.
“Valentine.” Alia takes on step toward the door, then halts.
“Yes?” Valentine asks.
“Please join me as an emissary from the Burlington community,” Alia says quietly. “If Theobald will be working with this alliance, I would like to see him begin immediately. You represent a large community of Mages, and one that lies at least in some part with the first Mage my son has allied himself with.” She gestures where Rory sits with Kit on the floor. “Our extended families are already bound through them, and Theobald needs to recognize that.”
“And if instead of opening his heart he decides to open my chest, you’ll protect me?” Valentine quips, with a wry smile. “Can’t raise my kids if I’m mauled.”
“He will do you no harm,” Alia says solemnly. “Come.”
“I’m not sure if I should say welcome to the family, or if you should, or if it’s turning out to be a mutual merging.” Rory’s fingers move along Kit’s hand, almost as if he’s playing the guitar instead of holding hands. “We might want to run interference, Alaric?”
“I don’t think I want to be anywhere near that,” Corbin says dryly.
“I think Rory’s right.” Alaric doesn’t look thrilled, but Chris steps up close, one hand on Alaric’s back as they head for the door with Rory and Kit close behind. “Corbin, Drea—please make sure that everyone here is settled and has what they need. Show them how to get back to their own rooms if they want more rest. Feed them until they’re not hungry. Then join us. I still want you both by my side for negotiations, but you’re right—it’s probably for the best if not as many people are there to witness Theobald’s acquiescence or refusal.”
“You can do both at the same time—get settled and eat—if you make a plate to take with you.” Corbin pulls out more plates from the bottom of the food-laden cart that they’d wheeled in. He also has several plastic containers with lids. “Or a container for later. Seriously. Load up, eat when you’re ready. Some of you look ready to fall over.”
Mattie makes a noise and yanks the blankets over her head, becoming nothing more than a lump under the covers.
“Or stay right there, in Alaric’s bed,” Corbin says. “That’s fine, too.”
Seth wraps his arms around Nikolai’s middle, his chin resting on Nikolai’s shoulder. “I want to go back to our room,” Seth whispers. “And reassure myself that you are here, anchored in reality, and that everything is fine.”
Nikolai is definitely not thinking about food now.
He pushes to his feet, tugging Seth with him. When Corbin gets between them and the door, Nikolai protests, “I know where we’re going, and we’re not hungry.”
Drea snorts. “For food.”
“Take a care package for later.” Corbin shoves one of the plastic containers at Nikolai’s chest, and another one to Nikita before she can slip past, hand in hand with Heather. “We know how to take care of energy expenditures here. Shifting shape uses a lot of energy, and whatever you just did made you sleep all day and you’re probably still running on reserves. We can all guess what’s on your mind, and guess what—that takes energy, too, and I’m pretty sure you don’t want to pass out in the middle. That won’t reassure your other halves at all. So pack a box before you go.”
He has a point. Nikolai just wants to crawl into bed with Seth and curl around him, but he can still feel some of the exhaustion pulling at his bones. It’s on the edges, but it could come back easily enough. “Okay, fine,” he agrees. They fill a box with fruits and cheeses and breads for later, and let Drea show them the way back to the guest wing.
Nikolai hears Pawel’s voice when they approach their rooms, and he exchanges a glance with Nikita at the loud sound of it. The words are muffled, but the tone is anxious, followed by Mac’s placating, quiet words after.
“Let him work through whatever he’s working through,” Heather says. “Pawel’s so wound up right now that the only thing that’s going to fix it for him is finishing. And I don’t think he thinks he’s done yet.” She raises her voice slightly. “We saved the world, Pawel. Go to bed.”
“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell him,” Mac calls back.
Heather spreads her hands. “See?” Then she yanks open the door to her own room, and she and Nikita disappear inside.
“Go,” Seth urges, and he pushes Nikolai into their room, the door slamming closed with a thunk once they’re safe inside. Seth has Nikolai up against the wall again, but this time he strips him out of his shirt, tossing it to one side. Seth leans in, hands pressed to Nikolai’s chest, fingers spread. He kisses just above his heart, his breath broken as he leans his head down. “Please tell me we’re done trying to save the world. Either world. Any world.”
“I think all that’s left is to figure out how to get home, or how to live here,” Nikolai assures him. He touches the side of Seth’s face, waiting until Seth looks up so he can bend to meet him, lightly brushing their lips together.
Seth makes a broken sound and Nikolai swallows it, chasing him and pulling him close for another kiss. Seth pushes him back, and the wall is solid as Nikolai lets it hold him, yanking Seth close enough to lie against him as they kiss. Small nips at times, then slower and deeper, exploring each other, lingering over the taste.
Nikolai slips his hands under the edge of Seth’s shirt, tugging at it to get it over his head and off. He just wants to feel him close, to remind himself that yes, this is his reality. “This is better than any dream,” he mumbles, tilting his head back as Seth kisses his jawline. “So much better.”
A sharp rap on the door interrupts them, and Seth jerks back, his head clipping the underside of Nikolai’s chin.
“Ow,” Nikolai mutters. “Okay. In my dream we would not be interrupted.”
Seth waves at the door and heads for the opposite side of the room, standing behind the bed as he looks through their bags for something. Nikolai has no idea what.
Nikolai shifts slightly, tries to make himself more comfortable before he yanks open the door. “Yes?”
“I’m going to find Chelsea,” Pawel announces.
At least Pawel knocked, unlike Corbin who just barged in before. Nikolai needs to remember to lock the door when he closes it again. “Okay,” he agrees.
“And we’re going to figure out how to get you two home,” Pawel continues. Each word is cut off and abrupt, sounding tight in his throat.
Behind him, Mac reaches for him, trepidation twisting her expression. She pulls back before touching Pawel’s shoulder. “Sorry,” she mouths soundlessly.
“If we have to live here, we’ll need help making ourselves real according to your world,” Nikolai says slowly. He’s not sure what Pawel needs to hear, but he can tell that there’s something that he’s waiting for. Maybe some kind of absolution for dragging Nikolai and Seth into this.
Nikolai’s not sure he can give him that.
Pawel nods once, quickly. He brings up both hands, heels pressed to the bridge of his nose before he runs his fingers backward, through his hair. As his face emerges from under his too-long bangs, he stares at Nikolai.
Nikolai stares back, fingers curled around the door. He resists the urge to close it and go back to what he was doing.
“Are you okay?” Pawel asks abruptly.
“I think they’re going to be fine,” Mac says.
Pawel ignores her, watching Nikolai closely.
“I’m okay,” Nikolai says. It’s mostly the truth. “Give me some time—give both of us some time—and we’ll be even better.”
The tension in Pawel’s shoulders loosen, and he rocks backwards. “Okay,” he says roughly. “Okay then. I will find Chelsea, and when I do—”
Nikolai isn’t sure if Pawel wants to find Chelsea for himself, or to get Nikolai and Seth home, and he has a feeling it’s more of the former than the latter. “Find her first,” he says. “Find her and make sure she’s okay, then we’ll figure out the rest. You don’t need to rush.”
Seth looks up on the other side of the room. “For the first time in a really long time, none of us need to rush,” he points out. “And I, for one, would really like to take my time reassuring myself that Nikolai is as okay as he says he is. I plan to do a thorough job.”
Nikolai’s cheeks go hot, and there is absolutely nothing he can think of to say.
Behind Pawel, Mac raises a hand, then covers her mouth, humor dancing in her eyes. She wiggles her fingers as if to say no, that’s okay, go on and say nothing. “Come on, Pawel,” she says out loud once she drops her hand. “Maybe we should let them get back to that reassurance.”
“We should check in on Nikita and Heather,” Pawel suggests.
Nikolai shakes his head quickly, and Mac giggles.
“Maybe not. I think they’re fine, too. Come on.”
Nikolai closes the door and twists the lock. When he turns around, Seth is climbing into bed and lying back, his arm stretched out toward Nikolai.
“C’mere,” Seth says. “Reassure me.”
So Nikolai does.
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