Thinking about 🍄 and all his worries. All his insecurities and fears. No wonder he is afraid.
In my brain, I am hardwired to see 🍄 as immature, silly, and untrustworthy. It's a part of why I exist. Whenever he displays any of his token behaviors, I focus instead on the ways that he lacks maturity, lacks attention, lacks reliability, and they anger me.
But I didn't choose these feelings or thoughts. I don't welcome them. 🍄 is very brave, and very kind. He tries very hard to be loving, and is his best self when he is cheerful and lifting us up. When I put 🍄 down, I am no better than our mother. I am no better than our ex.
But I am better. I am better than all of them. I am his brother and his friend and his guardian. I will not condemn. Not anymore.
Ever wondered what more you could be doing to be successful? Is that an extra hour at work? Maybe gathering more skills in your preferred field, the possibilities are endless. Successful people have certain habits that help them achieve their goals. From being more productive to handling failure gracefully, we can learn many things from their character. Let’s look on the habits successful people…
“Opinion is really the lowest form of human knowledge. It requires no accountability, no understanding. The highest form of knowledge… is empathy, for it requires us to suspend our egos and live in another’s world. It requires profound purpose larger than the self kind of understanding.”
― Bill Bullard
I was in the middle of a conversation with someone about ethics when the other person interrupted me and very politely in the most humble manner said, “why do you think that you always have to be right? When you really talk about looking at a broader perspective in a neutral manner, you sound like the most biased person ever and it just doesn’t feel good to have conversation when the other person believes in how one should try to understand different point of views but it just doesn’t show in their behaviour.” That person was right indeed, and the wiser me kept instructing me not to speak another word and just stay mum and accept and apologise for being wrong but my ego just burst out to make things only worse. How many times has this happened with you? Well I’ve been doing this for 18 years straight and regretting it every single time, every time I promise myself to change it but I just don’t. Well I guess this time I would because I’ve learned a strategy to it.
Firstly, it’s not about me so i decide to look at other person’s intention behind their behaviour towards me or their words. What if they’re not really trying to bring me down but in fact giving me a better perspective to look from.
If this strategy doesn’t work and i still take it personally and it’s hurting me then it’s probably because,
It is about me, and I’ll try to look at myself in the mirror, introspect if it was my fault and how.
You take things personally when they hit your raw nerve, when they touch your insecurities which are deep rooted within your childhood. And you got to give yourself empathy this time, and speak up about how you feel to another person in front who according to you made you feel less important or worthless. There’s nothing wrong about being vulnerable sometimes.
Trust me, most of the times it’s just you making yourself important enough for everyone which shifts you from the actual problem to a self created problem. Whether be it different perspectives or our mistakes, we need to learn to accept and give ourselves room to grow.
Just remember that no matter how much people criticise you, crumble you, make you feel worthless or bad about yourself, you never lose your value, so start thinking in a manner where you keep those problems above you and not limited just to you because it might not be about you, rather it’s just your ego telling you stuff.
Like always I was surfing across Youtube for solutions and found this really amazing video, which I’ll definitely link down but this was a summary of what I learned from it. Hope it was helpful! And,
Thanks for reading!
(the link to the video: https://youtu.be/LnJwH_PZXnM )
this time last year i was seeing multiple different sets of friends several times a week.. i was getting ready to start a new job i was super excited about.. i was hiking more consistently and talking to this Really Cute person i was developing a gigantic crush on and i had been accepted into a program that would send me to either australia or hungary for a year to probably work with kids in some capacity and i was planning for my next summer at camp and i’d just started going back to therapy and was straightening out my meds and i was in a pretty good place overall. i went to taco tuesday every week and campus ministry every thursday and had coffee every friday with my friend jennifer and i was really looking forward to finding out what else 2020 had in store for me. i was mending damaged friendships and strengthening newer ones and it’s so fucking wild to think back to this time last year because the entire world was so so different and (in the us at least) we had no idea what was coming. it’s really difficult to wrap my mind around how different i thought my life would look right now. and there are good things that have happened for sure— that really cute person and i fell in love, that job i was about to start turned out to be one of the best months i’ve had, i’ve continued to see my therapist and stay on top of my meds. but there are so many things i missed out on, and so many more things that i’ll never know could’ve happened, and it’s so strange to try to think about it all because everything flipped and changed so fast. i got back from spring break in charleston and within a week the world looked completely different and everything was scary and unknown. how do you begin to process your entire life being uprooted because you had to stay in one spot? is it even possible to start processing that when things really haven’t changed much since?
I've ditched a lot of things related to my identity over the years. I wonder if It's self destructive, or if it's as healthy as I've convinced myself it is.
