#unearthingyou

[unearthingyou]

day 1.

[unearthingyou]

Hey Community,

Unearthing You is my place to tap into the deepest parts of myself for self-reflection purposes. For a change, I want to share only positive affirmations so as to bring positivity to myself and also to everyone around me. Hope you'll like it.

[unearthingyou]

Maybe you’re wrong this time...

“Opinion is really the lowest form of human knowledge. It requires no accountability, no understanding. The highest form of knowledge… is empathy, for it requires us to suspend our egos and live in another’s world. It requires profound purpose larger than the self kind of understanding.”

― Bill Bullard

I was in the middle of a conversation with someone about ethics when the other person interrupted me and very politely in the most humble manner said, “why do you think that you always have to be right? When you really talk about looking at a broader perspective in a neutral manner, you sound like the most biased person ever and it just doesn’t feel good to have conversation when the other person believes in how one should try to understand different point of views but it just doesn’t show in their behaviour.” That person was right indeed, and the wiser me kept instructing me not to speak another word and just stay mum and accept and apologise for being wrong but my ego just burst out to make things only worse. How many times has this happened with you? Well I’ve been doing this for 18 years straight and regretting it every single time, every time I promise myself to change it but I just don’t. Well I guess this time I would because I’ve learned a strategy to it.

Firstly, it’s not about me so i decide to look at other person’s intention behind their behaviour towards me or their words. What if they’re not really trying to bring me down but in fact giving me a better perspective to look from.

If this strategy doesn’t work and i still take it personally and it’s hurting me then it’s probably because,

It is about me, and I’ll try to look at myself in the mirror, introspect if it was my fault and how. You take things personally when they hit your raw nerve, when they touch your insecurities which are deep rooted within your childhood. And you got to give yourself empathy this time, and speak up about how you feel to another person in front who according to you made you feel less important or worthless. There’s nothing wrong about being vulnerable sometimes.

Trust me, most of the times it’s just you making yourself important enough for everyone which shifts you from the actual problem to a self created problem. Whether be it different perspectives or our mistakes, we need to learn to accept and give ourselves room to grow.

Just remember that no matter how much people criticise you, crumble you, make you feel worthless or bad about yourself, you never lose your value, so start thinking in a manner where you keep those problems above you and not limited just to you because it might not be about you, rather it’s just your ego telling you stuff.

Like always I was surfing across Youtube for solutions and found this really amazing video, which I’ll definitely link down but this was a summary of what I learned from it. Hope it was helpful! And,

Thanks for reading!

(the link to the video: https://youtu.be/LnJwH_PZXnM )

[unearthingyou]

~beliefs~

I believe that mankind's destiny lies in the stars. I believe that candy really did taste better when I was a kid, that it's aerodynamically impossible for a bumble bee to fly, that light is a wave and a particle, that there's a cat in a box somewhere who's alive and dead at the same time (although if they don't ever open the box to feed it it'll eventually just be two different kinds of dead), and that there are stars in the universe billions of years older than the universe itself.

I believe in a personal god who cares about me and worries and oversees everything I do. I believe in an impersonal god who set the universe in motion and went off to hang with her girlfriends and doesn't even know that I'm alive. I believe in an empty and godless universe of causal chaos, background noise, and sheer blind luck.

I believe that anyone who says sex is overrated just hasn't done it properly. I believe that anyone who claims to know what's going on will lie about the little things too.

I believe in absolute honesty and sensible social lies. I believe in a woman's right to choose, a baby's right to live, that while all human life is sacred there's nothing wrong with the death penalty if you can trust the legal system implicitly, and that no one but a moron would ever trust the legal system.

I believe that life is a game, that life is a cruel joke, and that life is what happens when you're alive and that you might as well lie back and enjoy it.”

― Neil Gaiman

[unearthingyou]

“After awhile you could get used to anything.”

― Albert Camus

How easy it is for me to realise the veracity of this quote and equally difficult to explain how. As if I know how deep a well is but don’t have the knowledge about metres. Of course scientists will tell us about ‘HOWs’ but can we ever run out of ‘WHYs’, I’m not sure if science has an answer to this. The most obvious thoughts are the most perplexing ones, cause they seem so obvious to be thought about, that we don’t really ever think about them.

I’ve gotten used to overthink about stuff and therefore I’m gonna go overthink this quote. If you’d like to share your thoughts about it, please comment and follow to track my journey of overthinking or maybe introspecting, they’re the same for me. And,

Thanks for reading!

[unearthingyou]

“…if a man can be properly said to love something, it must be clear that he feels affection for it as a whole, and does not love part of it to the exclusion of the rest.”

plato

[unearthingyou]

We need to learn to accept the reality to make this world a better place to live in. Lying to others harms the society but lying to yourself is dangerous not just to you but a lot of lives connected to you. Stop trying to make that lie your reality and just accept the facts, you see accepting the reality is like ripping off the bandage, it hurts for a second but everything appears clearly after then.

Thanks for reading!

[unearthingyou]

learning to express...

“Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways.”

~Sigmund Freud

I always thought that some emotions should be left to be understood by the other person. We don’t need to go on speak out everything cause that just reduces the essence of that emotion. Never too late to realise that, it’s not even wrong to express it all. I mean you might be lucky to have someone who understands your silence but even if you don’t have, it’s fine, maybe it’s great (cause then you’ll get to know yourself better).

I invariably expected my family members to be my therapists, i wanted them to understand my situation and then bear all my anger composedly. What i needed to understand was that if i need a professional counsellor to help me understand people then how can i expect my family to treat me the way my counsellor does! My parents are as normal people as i am and not some professionals and on that i didn’t even consider the biggest differentiator, the age factor. They’ve grown up in a different era than me, then how am i even supposed to expect them to understand those “high school teen problems”?

I shouldn’t have and neither should you, it hurts them, when we have such extravagant expectations from them when we’re not  ready to fulfil one for them. It hurts them, when they get those inferiority feelings as parents just because they weren’t able to match up with our imaginations.

Speak your feelings out, share everything with them, that they need to know or you want them to know, for once look at them as other human beings and not some “idealistic parents”.

As a 5-year old, i always wondered how can people get the spelling of ‘accept’ wrong and write ‘expect’ instead of it... Now i feel the difference  between them. Where ‘accepting’ makes you happy in long term, ‘expecting’ can just have dramatically opposite results. Be careful with which one you choose to use.

This is what I’ve learned from my experiences, might be a bit different from yours. So don’t forget to share your learnings in comments. And,

Thanks for reading.