#introvert guilt

[siddyyyyyyyy]

Chat, is it bad that I lied about my grandma being sent to the hospital, so I had an excuse to leave a birthday party?

Like, I did random stuff on my phone and then said "Sorry, I need to leave, something happened." and just left

is it. is it bad? am I a bad person? I hate going out, so......

[missifeoma]

'Introvert Guilt' Is Real. Here's How to Deal With It.

Coming to terms with my introvert guilt was the best thing I ever could have done to ease the turmoil.

I just don’t want to go or be there! *LOL* SUE ME!

[thegreenthingslivebeforetheydie]

it is goddamn stupid how long i've gone through life feeling guilty for being introverted and never once questioning why- or even whether this was a valid reason to feel guilty.

sometimes i just don't want to go out. sometimes i don't want to be around a group of people larger than a handful. sometimes i want to back out of a social situation because at the last minute someone invited a few people i've never met before. and i guarantee you i am never looking forward to an event where i will only know a small handful of people in a very large crowd. okay i'm not talking about going to the movies and shit (and by the way, i'm not bashing people who have trouble dealing with situations like going to the movies- you do what is right for you). but you know what i mean. large social gatherings. i hate parties, okay? i only ever go to them because of a social obligation. i am never ever excited about a large crowd of strangers that i am expected to socialize with. i won't do it. i will stick in a corner with the one or two people who know enough not to abandon me, and then for like the next three days after the large social gathering i will retreat from all extraneous human interaction because i need to recover/recharge. thank god i've got Brian; at least i know i'll never be left alone at An Event.

yet sometimes a lot of the time i feel bad about it. sometimes i'll go out and do something i'm not hyped for because i feel bad. but you know what? fuck it. fuck it and everyone who thinks i need to get out more. i don't. i'm happy with my tiny group of friends, i'm happy with my small amount of social exchange, i don't need any more. i don't. and from now on i'm fighting the guilt. why should i feel guilty about who i am? it's bullshit. there's nothing wrong with me. if i only get out once a week to watch the walking dead with my boyfriend and three other people at someone else's place that's fucking fine.

i have this ridiculously pervasive fear of becoming a hermit. and it's true, i attain new friends at a very slow pace. it's almost not a pace at all. i stand still for a long time and then sometimes i creep forward a little bit. but i've found my niche. i've got a little group of very solid relationships with people i love dearly and i know they're in it for the long term. i'll be okay. i won't become a hermit. not wanting to go out all the time, not enjoying parties, and being reserved around new people isn't a catastrophe. not being extroverted isn't equal to failure at life, and i need to get that through my skull.