art i did in therapy today! new sketchbook :]. my last one was also from my therapy office. very nice and square <3
seen from China
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art i did in therapy today! new sketchbook :]. my last one was also from my therapy office. very nice and square <3
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HeaRT and MiND respond different to the orange tingly feeling inside them that drives them to unity. Whole, SoUL says it’s called. but he’s alone in knowing it’s achievable. MiND represses it when it envelopes him, and HeaRT destroys. and never picks up the pieces.
no one knows what “Whole” even looks like. but SoUL finds it destructive to their way of life. he feels too warm when he experiences it. it’s as if the room gets hotter, eating away the air. so to him, it’s a burning bush. it’s a wildfire. it’s a sparkling ember in the night about to set something ablaze. there’s always something to anticipate when the feeling of Whole arrives.
HeaRT finds solace in calm, and his calm place is The Moon. it’s where he goes inside himself when things get too jagged, when he falls a little too hard and doesn’t want to get back up again. when he gives up, when he feels good, he goes to The Moon. it’s his second life. and in this near-obsession, HeaRT has a reoccurring nightmare of drifting off into space, slowly dying after having shot for the moon, but landed among the stars. an unwelcome place that gives him death slowly, or quickly. the dreams vary.
HeaRT seeks The Moon because it’s where he feels he belongs. but he’s never treated it the same way. he takes it for granted. he rediscovers it after feeling unworthy of it’s escape. he treats it like an idol that doesn’t care what he thinks. The Moon, in truth, is how he views his beating heart. and sometimes his head differs from what his own heart feels, just like how him and MiND are oh so different.
MiND is no stranger to suppressing himself. and he's no stranger to fighting himself either. his shadowy Umbra, the subconscious embodiment of his bottled emotions, fights him just like HeaRT would. but instead of for spite, it wants to heal. it wants _him_ to heal. Umbra is MiND's true intentions, and MiND hates it for it. and it hates MiND back for never settling until there's plenty of blood on his hands.
Umbra sees itself in HeaRT and, after the second bloody incident, makes itself known inside MiND's sleep paralysis episodes. it asks MiND why he did what he did. why he acted out of spite and rage. but MiND can't even remember. the memory is too painful... and he's frightened by the fact that the scariest thing his brain could haunt him with during paralysis is a twisted vision of himself. he regrets it all. and Umbra tries to pry the self-induced amnesia out of him.
(then follows the events of THERE'S A GHOST! IN MY HOME!)
IAMBIC PENTAMETER ANGST IN 2K ALERT!
⚠️TW // contains : light disfigurement, eyestrain, compositions i’m very proud of, and a social interaction failure!
time taken (ibispaintx elapsed) : 25 hours, 35 minutes
THIS IS NOT YOUR AVERAGE “MANIPULATION OC” STORY!
your denial just wants to keep you safe! from…yourself?
MORE STORY IN THE YT DESCRIPTION ITSELF!
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