four detectives walk into a bar (inspired by @themalhambird's fic )
weissman is an obnoxious drunk who thinks he can handle his liqour but is already sloshed, hillinghead has had one too many and knows as soon as he opens his mouth he will say something incredibly embarassing, hasan is (as always) the only functioning adult of the group and maplewood was last to arrive and first to knock out after one bottle of french wine










