Ruby: TAKE... (Tosses metal disk) THIS!
Ironwood: (Blocks, Sees reflection, Gasps)
--------------------------------------------------
Ironwood: (Baby, In nursery)
Doctor: I'm sorry, Mr. Ironwood. We did everything we could.
Papa Ironwood: (Sobs)
--------------------------------------------------
Ironwood: (Child, Walking home)
Kids: Roses are red, violets are blue~!
Kids: Jimmy has a big head and he's a massive bellend~!
Ironwood: (Whimpers)
--------------------------------------------------
Ironwood: (Preteen, At the pool)
Ironwood: (Struggles to put on goggles)
Coach: Hurry up, Wood! That pool isn't going to pee in itself!
--------------------------------------------------
Ironwood: (Teen, At amusement park)
Ironwood: (Too tall for the ride)
Operator: Uh... Sorry, sir, but it's company policy.
--------------------------------------------------
Ironwood: (Young adult, At the movies)
Ironwood: (Getting pelted by popcorn)
Willow: Ignore them, Jimmy. I like your head~!
Ironwood: (Leans into her, Smiling)
--------------------------------------------------
Ironwood: (Adult, On the couch)
Willow: (In the doorway, Packed bag)
Willow: (Sniffles) I can't keep pretending like this anymore, James! IT'S JUST TOO BIG! (Slams door)
Ironwood: (Eyes well, Sighs)
--------------------------------------------------
It's just too big! Too big! It won't fit! Extra extra large, sir? Too big! This is a family restaurant! TOO BIG! TOO BIG! TOO BIG! TOO BIG!
--------------------------------------------------
Ironwood: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! (Collapses, Sobbing)
Port: Alright, James; what's wrong with you?
Ironwood: It's my head, Pete. It's just... too... big..
Port: Too big? Ho ho! You know me, Jimmy! There's no such thing as too big! In fact, I used to get made fun of for my head, too!
Ironwood: Really?
Port: Indeed! Everyone at Beacon called me "pillow head," and the students would call me "fat head"! But look at me now! I'm made big my business and I'm doing just fine! And I'd say you're doing just fine yourself! You're the headmaster AND the general in Atlas, and your darling Winter is doing well, too! She's your best fighter AND is the leading specialist now!
Ironwood: That's... That's true. She'll be up for promotion next cycle.
Port: Well, there you go! C'mon! Let's head down to the bar and fill our big heads 'til they're ten gallons~! HO HO HO HO~!
--------------------------------------------------
Qrow: That's some glass you've got there, Jim!
Ironwood: Heh... I know... It's almost as big as my head!
Ironwood/Port/Ozpin/Qrow/Oobleck/Tai:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Clover: It sure is fucking massive!
