#irrelivent

[elohimkin]

I had a dream last night about finding huge crystals in this lake with a bunch of other people

[michiblarg]

I always catch myself awkwardly liking/reblogging almost every post from the people I follow and then I have to like.. Stop myself and try to ignore some posts so I don’t seem like a creepy stalker.

[copenut]

Why does everything have to be confusing but then I can't ask for help because I'm struggling to speak and then I panic and stop talking and then I try again and then someone tries to explain and I cry because I feel bad that I don't understand and then I cry more because I'm wasting their time by crying but then I just say it's okay and then I'm given the homework and I cry and I try to work but I don't understand and I feel stupid so I cry but them I'm wasting time and I don't want to ask to meet with my teacher because I'll misunderstand and cry and waste her time and I am just very upset right now how do I even do the thing

[copenut]

So I had to do work in a group and we had to answer questions or something for a debate thing(?) and I didn't understand the instructions and I was falling behind because my group were going at a "normal" pace and so I was having a hard time participating I thought my partners were so pissed because I just sat there sweating and being anxious and when it came time for me to read in the debate I was focusing like really hard on the paper but everything still came out broken and monotone and repeated like "the. then the. Th-ey. Them. They-The. Sol..diers need. To do.the... S--ame as rest off Thed-they'd the. Donsame -s.....aNd get pay have do the tax..es taxes also too" so basically how I always read but reading it out loud I have to go slower and break things down into weird chunks that rarely make sense to other people and in my brain I was like "wow this is it, everyone knows I have a learning disability, fucking great, second week of school, sweet, people are aware, nice" but then my group quietly said to me "Dylan you did such a good job!!" And I honestly think maybe these people are really sweet and accepting maybe they do know I have a learning disability and I'm still a bit confused and fucked up about it but that's okay I guess because it's kind of nice I think but like I still feel really inadequate because everyone else could read just fine idk I feel so dumb, like why am I even in the 10th grade, I hate having to read out loud but I guess I have to get used to it?

[alucard2017]

Isn't it funny that as big as a heart can be how easily it can be abused by people around you ? Taking you for granted. Treating you like shit when just the other day you did something nice for them that you went out of your way for ? I find myself in a very dark place latley and as my mood gets better my thoughts still cloud me with thoughts of suicide and thinking about how ridiculous it is to consider it but when time after time after time again things not only don't go as expected but any chance you feel like something could go your way it just gets destroyed wether it's planning a day for friends then plans chance with roomates to rearrange a room a day before planned or some other things I won't get into to be honest I have no idea why I started typing this maybe I'm just getting tired of getting disappointed and with all these disappointments adding up you of course try to figure out what's the issue ? What could be a reasonable cause for so much disappointment ? You'd start to think about the central point of it all and think you what maybe it's me ? Maybe I'm setting my expectations way too high ? Maybe I ask too much ? So as things continue to more or less fall apart by logic you'd feel a little stressed and well I don't know anymore I feel trapped in my own life and I can't say I enjoy any part of it and with as much as I talk and talk and talk and think about it all to myself (because I have no need to rely on others for support because I don't need too) I'm just starting to think why I haven't done anything about it yet and as I say it I feel uncomfortable and confused and then I do what I do every time and I try to distract myself from it and it goes away. This rant does nothing for me and it will probably only make one of my friends worry alot more then she already has and I don't blame her but when she does read this because she is the only one of my friends who follows me on here I want to tell you thank you for being there for me even when I'm mean and cruel and morbid without reason or cause and I'm sorry very very sorry. If I could give you a reason it's probably the reason you can guess and I'm sorry I've been so immature about it. Part of me really does like you and its hard... Very very hard to ignore it... And I'm not sure what to do other then try to distance myself from you to somehow make it easier on my self but I don't know any other way to deal with everything going on around me money is hard with foolish spendings and Cass has been a bitch for no reason and its annoying and it hurts that she's so insensitive to everyone around her other then herself I just wanna sleep... And in two hours I should sleep for work but... I just can't ever fall asleep when I want too idk that's all I can think of for typing so idk Dalton is playing fallout 4 its hot as hell out I'm out of ice cream I want to eat beef jerky sweet and spicy.... Sigh

[queensecretx]

When I get a dog I'm calling it Sirius.

[forteafy]

Reblog if you want a ForMyFandoms Q and A.

[copenut]

You can tell how bad a night terror is based off of how far away my bed is from the wall in the morning. And today it's like literally almost two feet from the wall. Like where the fuck does it go. Why does it do that. Obviously I'm the one doing it but HOW THE FUCK DOES IT MOVE THAT FAR. YOU'RE A WIZARD HARRY