#irwinut

[notashleyfrangipane]

Guys, I need yaaaaaall to text me with your names cause I haven't saved all my contacts from my old phone!!

[the5sosfamconfessions-blog]

irwinut

send your confessions in here!

[notashleyfrangipane]

Thank u for listening

[notashleyfrangipane]

I'm changing my url, again... I apologise.

[healyshood]

I'm almost done with something I've been working on for a while now and I'm so happy.

[emmawritesfiction]

Angel - Michael Clifford One Shot

“So, do you want me to hire a movie or something?” Michael’s roommate, Dan, asked, his hand gently squeezing the other’s shoulder.

  Michael shook his head from side to side for what was not the first time in the past half an hour.

  “I told you already,” his voice came out stern and frustrated, “it’s Ella and I’s anniversary. I’m taking her on a date. I’m not doing anything with you.”

  The bitterness is Michael’s voice was piercing enough for Dan to acknowledge it was time to stop. Michael was not going to take being pushed any further. And as defeat tore away at Dan’s heart, he found he had no energy or desire to persist with it anymore anyway. He knew that Michael shouldn’t be like this, he knew that he was sick. But he wasn’t sure how to deal with it or help him. So he let him go.

  On his way out, Michael slammed the door shut behind him and allowed for the fresh air to blow the hair from his eyes. A sentiment of freedom overtook him as he escaped the confines of his own house – somewhere that he once felt comfortable, however, in recent days had been feeling trapped and consistently under scrutiny as a result of his roommate’s relentless concerns.

  Walking away from the shaded porch and down the stony path to the driveway, Michael was beyond surprised when he saw Ella, sitting on the bonnet of his chair, seeming to have been waiting patiently for the boy to arrive. Her hair was curled into various waves and ringlets, bouncing slight as she turned her head to notice him. Once her ocean blue eyes met with his, she leapt from the car hood and lightly bounded over to him, her elbows already extending outward in preparation to wrap herself around him.

  The sight of her soft skin almost sparkling in the sun and her grin lifting her cheeks was enough to make Michael feel like the most joyous human in the world. He was hopeful that when her thin legs had carried her over to him, he would be able to feel the smack of their bodies together and the heat of her skin on his. There was nothing he desired more than to have her weight hanging from him as she hugged him, or for her hot breath to prickle into his ear.

  But Michael got none of that. Ella’s body was like a feather, dainty and light. Her skin wasn’t flushed and she felt no warmer than the outside air. And when she spoke his name, it was quiet and the breeze emitted from it was cold onto his cheek. Her hands and arms didn’t squeeze his body, they just brushed around his waist and barely even touched his back. Michael could only return the gentle gesture, realising how delicate his graceful girlfriend was, and not wanting to hurt her.

  After a moment, she turned and strode back to the car, still turning her neck around occasionally to ensure Michael was following her. As he was so intent on watching her beautifully slim figure open the door to his car and slide into the passenger seat, he missed the opportunity to open the door for her, and almost forgot himself to move. Snapping into action, he jogged the few metres, moving to the driver side and jolting his body down into the seat. With a push of the gear stick and a hand on the wheel, the car chugged into action, streaming down the road.

  Ella had bent her knees and curled her feet to hitch underneath her thighs as she got comfortable seated next to him. The angle of her body, entirely facing Michael instead of the window in front of her, permitted her eyes to remain focused completely on his face while he drove. Noticing her constant stare, Michael tore his vision from the road in front of him to catch a glimpse of her. Her expression was so content and relaxed that it could have mesmerised him for hours, but her sitting position made him concerned.

  “Babe, you’re not wearing your seatbelt.”

  Not a muscle was moved from the girl at his statement, and he remained confused. Her little reaction made him assume that she had not heard.

  “Baby, you should put your seatbelt on.”

  At that, she simply blinked. The innocence in her posture stayed.

  “Are you gonna put it on?” he laughed, almost feeling awkward near her serene state.

  Ella’s lips curved into a placid smile, and her head tilted to the left as she replied in a tranquil, low voice, “it’s okay, Michael… I’ll be fine without.”

  If it were a normal day or a different person, he would have become annoyed or angered at her lack of desire to care for her own safety. But today, Ella’s words were like ice, and they cooled him down to a point where his throat was too frozen to speak. Either that, or the legitimate composure in her tone and slow pace of voice made him believe that she would actually be fine without it.

  For the entire ride, her blue pools kept focus on Michael. While the car bumped up and down over ditches and bumps, her body was not even flung out of its spot. Michael was beyond amazed at her beauty and often found himself ogling at her pale skin for too long before she would ever so softly whisper “Michael,” and then slant her head subtly to the dashboard, reminding him that he needed to look where he was driving.

  As Michael pulled up near a restaurant, Ella’s hand raised from where it was to brush over his arm, “Michael… let’s go somewhere more private, Michael.”

  His head turned to look at her, thinking she must have seen the restaurant and realised she didn’t like it there. But her eyes were, still, planted on him. She had not yet taken her glance away.

  “Uh-“ he stuttered, “sure. W-where do you want to go, love?”

  She smiled faintly before timidly saying, “just keep driving down this road, Michael.”

  Yet she had not even looked to see where the car was parked, Michael believed that she knew where they were going. She was perfect. He trusted her completely.

  It was not even ten minutes until his eyes were graced with a stunning view of the beach. Before the engine had even turned off, Ella had somehow galloped away from the car, making not a single noise as she did so. The view of her dress blowing smoothly in the wind as she wandered out and away from the car, heading towards the sand by the shore, was enough to make Michael feel at ease. As she elegantly raised her arms out to her sides and let the sea air slip in-between her fingers and over her limbs, Michael could only watch and admire her radiating splendour.

  And for the continuation of the night, her supple, sophisticatedly aura persisted in being quite stunning.

  On the direction home, Ella was cooped back up into her huddle on the passenger side when Michael asked, “would you like to get something to eat?”

  Just as she had before, she smiled and cooed, “no, Michael… I’ll be okay.”

    Michael and Ella saw each other every day. She wasn’t the same as she used to be, though. Something must have changed because of their anniversary. She didn’t speak much or want to do much anymore. It felt like something was deficient between them. Their relationship used to be a tidal wave of emotions and events, but somewhere along the line, it had simmered down from the boil. It was still wonderful, and Michael would never be able to deny her beauty and reeking exquisiteness. But something inside of him practically longed for her to trip over on the pavement so that he could scoop her up and feel obligated to hold her until she calmed down from the shock. He wanted her to scrape her knee so that her cheeks bloomed bright red, and then he wanted her to cry so that he could feel the burn of her hot tears through his shirt. He ached for her to be angry because he gave her the burnt toast, and he yearned for her sting when she would angrily slap him on the bicep after it.

  Yet, those things didn’t happen anymore. And Michael didn’t really know why, and didn’t deliberate on it too much because he knew that he was the luckiest person ever to be with such a picturesque girl.

  Michael also didn’t really know what had ignited the worry in Dan’s eyes every morning, afternoon and night. Dan always seem to always ask questions which would infuriate Michael. 

  “Mate, you know this isn’t good for you, right?”

“Michael, do you want me to get you some help? “You gotta leave her now, man.”

  Dan must have known that there had been a change in the relationship for him to be saying things like so. But Michael didn’t know how he knew. And frankly, he wanted him to butt out of what wasn’t his business.

  At nights, Michael found it difficult to sleep until Ella came over. It was normally around midnight when she appeared beside his mattress, her eyes wide open and staring into his like she did not even need to rest. Often, the moonlight peeked through his blind and reflected off his mirror and then onto her face so he could see how perfectly pure she looked even in the night-time. Because he never saw her wander through the door, he suggested that she must have done it so carefully and quietly that in his dreary state he didn’t hear.

  Months ago, Ella would have knocked her knee into his bedside table and accidentally let the air conditioner push the door noisily into the frame. Then, she would have snorted before crawling under the blankets and nuzzling her nose as far as she could into her chest, mumbling, “I couldn’t sleep, so I came over.”

  Now, she stayed outside of the covers and used her fingers to comb through the hair on Michael’s forehead. She didn’t mention why she was there, she just was. More often than not, a blue singlet and blue skirt would cover her body, but it dawned on Michael one chillier night that she must have been cold, and especially because she was not wearing shoes.

  “Aren’t you cold, honey?” he queried, mustering through the sleepiness in his voice, “you’re not even wearing something to cover your feet. In fact, you haven’t been wearing shoes at all lately.”

  Her reply took a few moments and elicited like a hum, “I’m fine Michael… don’t worry.”

    One day when he woke up, it was because of Dan shaking him from the side of the bed. In his hands, he held an ironed shirt and pants. “You gotta put these on,” Dan shakily and cautiously begun, “today is the day.”

  Despite being fully unaware of what ‘day’ his friend was referring to, Michael felt the need to rub his eyes and get out of bed, replacing his night wear with the outfit Dan had presented and left on his quilt. When Michael went into the living room, it was clear that the fright in Dan’s eyes had exacerbated from previous days. He was in a state of madness. Around his eyes were red lines of exhaustion and sadness, and with his shaking fingers, he frantically tried to push out a crease in his black shirt.

  Interesting – both cloaked in black shirts today. And black pants as well, for that matter. A hand ran before Dan’s hair stressfully before he looked up at Michael and almost immediately looked away, his eyes making contact with the floor. 

  Perplexed with Dan’s condition, Michael decided not to disagree with whatever the other male wanted today. When he left out the front door, breathing heavily, he just followed, and when he stepped into his car, Michael, again, followed. When Dan whimpered while pressing down on the accelerator, however, Michael did not know what to do. Michael didn’t know what to do about the small tears that dripped down Dan’s face whilst driving, either.

  As much as he wanted to ask if he was alright, something gripping at his stomach made him feel it wasn’t appropriate. How could he begin to support his friend when he did not understand what the reason behind the misery was. The choked breaths of Dan and the repeating action of him wiping his ears free of tears made the car trip awkward.

  When they arrived at the location, the first thing visible was the mass of familiar faces outside and surrounding the brick building. Michael saw his mother, his father, old friends, a variety of people he knew. Before he could realise he was speaking, words spilled from his mouth, “is Ella going to be here?”

  After a long sigh, Dan turned his head to face Michael. Putting his hand over the centre console and placing it onto Michael’s knee, he tried to speak through a blockage of pain that had settled in his throat, “yeah man.” His voice cracked and he whimpered, “she’s here, she’s gonna be here.”

  Upon stepping out the car, the swarm of people instantaneously attached themselves to Michael. If they were bees, he was the hive, but they wanted answers from him instead of honey. They placed their hands on Michael’s arm and shoulders, rubbing his muscles tenderly. “Are you alright?” “How’ve you been?” “Have you been coping?” “We are all here for you today.”

  Michael didn’t want their touch, he wanted someone else’s. And thankfully, he looked up at the correct time, peering over the various heads just at the right moment, to notice the perfectly curled hair swish around the corner of the building. A cheeky, inviting grin played on her lips and made a dimple in both of her cheeks. Pushing through the sea of people, Michael swam away, dashing over to where he had seen the glimpse of her.

  As soon as he turned the corner, he saw her, standing not only motionless, but also emotionless. Her arms hung peacefully by her side, and her hair had been brought around to fall down her chest. In a knee-length, white, flowing dress, it was possible to see her bare feet and how the grass underneath her slotted between her toes. Normally, Ella giggled when grass touched her skin, but today it didn’t seem to tickle her at all.

  A moment of silence passed while Michael gaped at her, and then Ella spoke up, her words sweet and tunely like a song, “I’ll see you inside, Michael…”

  And then she was gone, swung around the corner of the building and headed inside.

  “Everyone’s going in now,” Dan coughed, causing Michael to turn around. With a casual arm around his shoulders, he directed Michael into the structure, which appeared to be one open room inside. There were chairs, all lined up into neat rows, and black flowers situated on the back of each one. People watched intently with raw, tired eyes whilst Michael walked down the isle in the middle of the room.

  At the front, only a metre from where a stage was positioned, was an empty seat with a white piece of paper reading ‘Reserved: Michael Clifford.’  Usually at events, he sat with Ella, and he would make jokes about what was occurring on stage, and she would dig her head into his arm to muffle her laugh. However, this seemed different, as when he scanned the crowd to find her gorgeous face, he couldn’t find it. And this did not look like a place where people would even smile for a second; majority of the eyes in the room were wet, and sniffs echoed from the walls.

  “We are here today,” a booming voice pounded through speakers, “to remember.”

  Hastily, Michael seated himself and turned to watch the old man, wearing a professional suit and tie, speak to the audience. But Michael was distracted by the surrounds beside and behind him, and struggled to listen. The scent of the room was stale. No windows could be seen. And if there were any windows, they were shunned from view by large grey vases containing combustions of flowers.

  “..michael Clifford.”

  His name auditing from the speaker’s mouth induced him to draw his attention back to the speech taking place. But a significant eeriness seeped through the rows of the chairs and filled up the room.

  “Sorry,” the man rushed, quickly reiterating his prior words that were clearly not heard by the one person who was meant to hear, “we have Michael Clifford to give a few words.”

  An elbow nudging into his side made him rise from his chair, and then the stares of the hundred or more humans pushed his frame up to the podium. Upon reaching front and centre, Michael swivelled his body to face the crowd. Everybody seemed to be in a drained state of discontent. Most of the people had frowns, others had pouts, and some were breathing deeply while glaring at the carpeted ground.  

  Michael was unsure of what to do or say in front of them, but majority of the faces seemed un-pressuring, and although quite sad, they were relaxed and did not seem expectant of him to deliver anything uplifting and marvellous. After some time, worry gripped at Michael’s emotions, as he was bewildered with what was happening.

  Fortunately, a cool air sent a chill splintering up his spine, and a soft voice purred into his ear, “read this, Michael.”

  A small hand dropped a piece of paper onto the stand in front of him, the letters on the page being linked and refined. Ella’s lithe figure then passed by the side of the boy, dancing off the stage and planting itself onto the seat where Michael had perched previously.

  With her teeth slightly showing, she affirmed, “it’s okay… Read it… Michael.”

   Grimacing, Michael concentrated on the words in front of him, clearing his throat before beginning, “My name is Michael Clifford, and I was Ella’s boyfriend.”

  Halting at the end of this sentence, he darted his eyes back to where Ella was, wondering if this were correct. ‘Was’ Ella’s boyfriend did not seem the correct tense. But she had not moved even minutely, and her pleasant poise hinted for Michael to persist.

  “Three years ago, we met for the first time at a friend’s party. I instantly fell in love. How couldn’t I? She was gorgeous. And, thankfully for me, I gathered up the courage to ask her out on a date. From then, my life was perfect. I had found the one person that understood me, could relate with me, and just overall the one person that I could see myself spending the rest of my life with. Ella and I often joked about things, and one of those things was what we read in an article one day. ‘3 years equals forever’ it said. Apparently, according to the author, once you had been in a relationship with someone for three years, you will end up marrying them. Unfortunately, three days before our third anniversary, Ella p- pass- passed away.”

  Michael took a number of deep, wheezy breaths before continuing, “The event was unexpected, and I cannot say that I have yet recovered. I still see E-Ella, be-beside me when I go, when I go to sleep. And w-when I leave the house. She still has d-dinner with me. And s-she’s still my only source of comfort when I am upset. But Ella doesn’t really sleep with me anymore. She doesn’t kiss me when she sees me, or eat with me at dinner, or embrace me when I’m upset... Because Ella is not really there. Despite how much I want her to be.”

  By then, Michael had tears streaming like waterfalls down his rough cheeks. What he was saying was barely understandable, as the words were being spat through clumps of saliva and liquid in his mouth and throat. Two small rips had formed on either side of the paper where he had been accidentally clutching too hard with trembling hands.

  When he gazed up, he anticipated for the whole audience to still be there. And they actually were. But all Michael could recognise was Ella and her shimmering self, looking back at him. That was the only light in the entire room. Moans from other mourners were blocked, as all he heard was her sweet murmur, “keep going… Michael, keep going… you can do it.”

  Through blurry vision and with heated sweat beginning to clam his skin through his pores, Michael gulped and begun speaking again, “I guess that what Ella and I had will not be forever, like the author of the article said. I will see her again. One day. But now is a time for me to let go. It’s time. To say good-bye to the person who changed my life. T-thank you for being with me, Ella. I-I-I lov-love you, Ella.”

  One blink and Ella had made it onto the stage, her body on the left of Michael’s. In a swift movement, she pointed up onto her tiptoes and skimmed her lips across his cheek.

  “I love you too, Michael… Good luck,” she whirred, “I’ll see you again soon.”

  Facing her, Michael could only watch as her body gradually faded out of sight, and her presence was simply lost from the air.

[notashleyfrangipane]

I’m gonna post this just now!

I’m moving at the beginning of next year & I’m going to be deleting my blog. It’ll either be then or on my birthday which is in April.

I just feel like I’m growing out of the whole band-blogging thing & I really have to focus on my life since it’s literally half a year till I’m 19 and my parents remind me everyday that life is passing me by and I haven’t made a step towards a career. I’ve been out of school for a year & I just sit around blogging all the time.

I might give the blog away or just delete it, depending on my follower count when the time comes.

I just feel like I should let everyone know in advance, cause I’ve made some really good friends here & I’m gonna miss them so much when it ends.

[notashleyfrangipane]

"Seriously, Sorority."

some frat!Calum! Since I'm apparently Jesus & Satan at the same time... To say I hate college is an understatment. I enjoy the learning side of it, I just hate the assholes that go here. Especially the boys from the Kappa fraternity. I could call them guys, but that would be suggesting a little more maturity than they're due. They're proper jerks, sleeping with literally every girl they see. So far they've slept with all of the girls in my sorority & more than 50% of the others, except me. I have slept with people before, but if it got around... I'd be in deep shit. Tonight, The Kappas are having a party and guess what? All of the girls on campus are invited. But get this, even the other frat houses are invited too. Fuck knows why, but I could seriously use a drink. "(Y/N), are you ready?" My roommate Sophia yelled. "Yea, I'm just grabbing my shoes." I groaned. She's always waaaaay too excited to get to these freaking frat parties now that she's dating one of the Kappa boys. "Well, we're walking so make sure they're comfortable." She giggled. "Shit." I mutter to myself. I've been in this damned party for what, 5 minutes? And some stupid prick has already spilled his cherry vodka right down my leg. I decided to rid myself of my skinny jeans, seeing as I was wearing a long flowery top that reaches below my bum & the jeans were only to shield my legs from the chill of the night. I look like I'm ready to go to the freakin' beach with these sandals on. I've had about 4-5 Pepsi-Vodkas already & I can feel myself getting tipsy, but I need to be drunk... Drunk enough to be able to walk past all the asses that try to put their hands up my fucking thigh. "Oh my god (Y/N)," Sophia slurred, "LIGHTEN UP! It's a party, dance a little!" She squealed, shaking her hips. "Yea, (Y/N)... Lighten up." Her boyfriend, Michael chuckled before wrapping his arms around her moving hip. "Hey Mike," I sighed, "no offence, but this party sucks butthole... And swallows." I groaned, earning a throaty chuckle. "It wouldn't be that bad if you had someone to talk to..." He suggested, raising his eyebrows. "He wants to speak to you." He whispered, noticing my change in posture. I knew exactly who 'he' was, and he's the last person I wanted to speak to. "Sorry Mikey, I can't hear you." I smiled sarcastically. "(Y/N) I'm serious." He said harshly. "SORRY, WHAT WAS THAT? OH THIS IS MY JAM, IVE GOT TO DANCE!" I yelled, backing away slowly, earning a glare from my bestfriends boyfriend. Oh well, fuck it. After about 20 minutes of dancing with random strangers -mainly girls- I am sweating! The alcohol began to kick in about 5 minutes into grinding on some chick who I'm pretty sure was a lesbian, seeing as her hands were literally holding me put. The icky feeling of sweat & booze makes me need to go outside & have a cigarette. I can't even promise I won't be here much longer. "Excuse me," I mumble to the couple making out right at the freakin' doorway, but to no avail. "Seriously, fucking move!" I practically yell, making the two jump apart. "Thanks." I smile sarcastically, walking out into the crispy air. I light up my cigarette, inhaling deeply. The rush of relief floods over me as I take a seat on the steps to the frat house. My peaceful, most enjoyable moment of the night is shattered when a voice rises behind me. "(Y/N) babe!" I turn around to be face to face with Ashton Irwin, head of the Beta house. "Hi Ashton." I groan, taking another draw from my cigarette. "Smokings bad for you, love." He growled in my ear. "It's not the only thing that's bad for me right now." I sneer, sending him a glare. "Oooooh, still as feisty as ever!" He chuckles. "Just leave me alone, Ash." I mumbled, realising I've smoked the last puff of my cigarette. I flick it away quickly, before standing up, ready to actually join the party just to get away from Ashton. "Stop being such a bitch!" He slurred, "I know you want me, just as much as I want you." He mumbled, grabbing my hips to face him. "Clearly, you're more drunk that I thought." I chuckled loudly. "Don't lie to yourself babe." He whispered, grinding his highly noticeable hard on against my crotch. "I said leave me alone Ashton!" I practically yelled, pushing his chest. He was a lot taller, stronger & faster than me, even in his drunken state. This was proven when he pulled me closer to his chest, takings handful of my hair. "That's not what you were saying when I was fucking you senseless last month." He groaned at his own words, before attacking my neck with his lips. "Ash, no!" I tried to shout, but the grip he hand on my hair made it come out as more of a whimper. "Don't fight it babe, just go with i-" he was cut off but a louder, stronger voice. And man, I've never been happier to see the person it belonged too in my life. "I believe the lady said no." He growled. "C-Calum..." I stuttered. "Piss off Hood," Ashton growled, "this doesn't concern you." "Actually man, I think it does." Calum snapped. "she's from the Zeta sorority, so that makes her mine." The tall Kiwi boy, steps forward. His build was tougher than Ashton's, who had a height advantage. His flashy Jordan's tapped the old floor of the porch as he moved. His dark hair always had a hint of curl in it. His short sleeves white v neck showed his various tattoos, including the Native American man imprinted on his upper arm. "I think (Y/N) would beg to differ, seeing it was my bed she was in 3 nights in a row..." Ashton chuckled. But it wasn't a joke, he seemed to be challenging Calum. "Isn't that right babe?" He asked, coming closer to my ear. Calum's entire body tensed up as he took another step forward. Calum's frat brothers, Michael & Luke were now standing behind him, with Sophia in the doorway. "Ashton, please just let me go..." I whimpered. His arm was still tightly around my waist. But he had let go of my hair as soon as Calum stepped out. "Damnit Ashton!" Calum shouted, "I'm literally giving you 5 fucking seconds to let her go before I kick the living shit out of you, right here... Right now!" His nostrils were flared & his arms were tensed, showing his prominent biceps. "1." Calum started counting, I could swear Ashton's grip got tighter. "2." He spoke louder and my eyes stayed glued to him. "You don't intimidate me Hood!" Ashton chuckled. "3." This time Calum's voice was getting towards a bellow, while Ashton just threw his head back in laughter. His eye were now directly staring in mine, as he mouthed 'knee him' and pointed to his crotch. My eyes widened as Ashton's head came back forward. "4." His voice was directed at Ashton, while his eyes were on me. Just as he reached 5, my knee came in contact with Ashton's lower abdomen, causing him to buckle in pain. I pulled away from Ashton and ran towards Sophia & Michael, where they pulled me into their arms. As soon as I turned around, Calum full on launched himself at Ash, spearing him to the ground. Digs were thrown at Ashton's face, as he tried to block them. Calum stayed on top of Ashton, pinning him down. Blood started to ooze from Ashton's face, that's when I noticed... If someone didn't stop this, he was going to kill him. "CALUM!" I screamed, but Michael and Sophia had a tight grip on me. "Mikey for fuck sake stop him, PLEASE!" By now, I was full on crying. Michael let me go, obviously not realising that I was going to run straight for the disaster ahead of me. "CALUM STOP IT," I screamed, but nothing happened. I pushed the side of Calum, and something inside of him clicked. I pushed him again, harder and he fell to the side, landing on his back. "Michael, grab Ashton! Take him to the hospital or something!?" I screamed. Calum stood up and went to charge at Ashton again. Before I could register what I was doing, my hand collided with Calum's face, as I slapped him. "STOP IT!" I shouted. By now, we had a crowd surrounding us. "Please, stop..." I whispered, tears falling down my face. Calum just stood there, staring at me. My chest was aching, fresh tears burning my face against the cold night air that hit my cheeks. "(Y/N)..." He whispered lightly, before literally picking me up and throwing me over his shoulder. No matter how weird this must look to common by standers, I had no energy to fight him, as the front garden slowly left me upside down view, I could tell he leading us into the house. I guessed he was taking us to his room. When we reached his room, he kicked the door open with his foot, placing me on the floor. I walked over to his bed and just lay there, staring at the ceiling. I felt the other side of the bed dip, as Calum joined me. We sat there, in a peaceful silence before Calum spoke up. "Is it true?" He asked, "did you sleep with Ashton?" His voice was calm, almost too calm. I didn't respond, I just stared at the ceiling; tracing the small circles that enveloped the roof in a large pattern. "(Y/N)..." Calum whispered. I took a deep breath, and closed my eyes. "Yes, it's true." I whispered, turning away to lay on my side, refusing to make eye contact. "B-but why?" He choked, his voice cracking. My heart broke at the sound of desperation in his voice. "I don't know," I mumbled, "it was a mistake." "But three times," he snapped, his voice began to grow louder. "Three fucking times you let another guy touch you, the way that only I should EVER have been able to touch you." My eyes squeezed together, as I dug my face into the pillow. "I know." I whispered, I had no argument. I knew I was wrong, what I did was wrong. Calum was my first. We were best-friends for years, then one time... It just happened. Then it happened over and over again. We came to college, we both study Music & English. He was nominated Head of Kappa House, I was nominated Head of Zeta House. It sounds perfect right? Head boy & head girl, together? Wrong. "THEN WHY!?" He screamed standing up from the bed. "I was jealous Calum!" I screamed, standing up to join him. "I WAS JEALOUS OF THE FACT THAT EVERY WHORE ON THIS STUPID FUCKING CAMPUS WANTS YOU." My voice cracked at the end, as I wiped away the tears from my eyes, "and I could tell you didn't want me anymore." I whispered. "W-what?" He stuttered. "So I ran to Ashton," I mumbled, "I met him at a Beta House pool party & he pulled me upstairs. I don't know why I kept going back... I just needed to forget you, your touch." My voice was a whisper now, totally overpowered by Calum's presence. "He was good, I mean but-" I mumbled, but I was cut off by Calum. "Don't." He growled. "But he just wasn't you." I whispered. "What the fuck (Y/N)?" He looked at me with wide eyes, while I just stood there in confusion. "What made you even slightly believe I didn't want you?" He whispered. "the girls..." My voice was becoming stressed. "They would be all over you, a-and you wouldn't push them away!" I tried to stay strong, but the fact he was right here, in front of me made it ten times harder. "I wasn't enough for you." I whispered, a tear falling down my cheek. "Don't you dare!" He called out to me, walking around the bed so he was facing me. The pad of his thumb traced my cheek, wiping away the tears that had gathered on my face. "You're all I ever wanted! Hell, you're all I still want, still fucking need!" He said in a-matter-of-fact manner, while he cupped my face. "I'm so sorry Calum," I began to cry. "I should have never went near Ashton, or that house." I whispered through tears. He pulled me into his chest, holding me tighter than ever, as if he thought I'd disappear if he let me go. "Stop it," he mumbled, resting his chin on my forehead, "stop crying, it's not your fault." "Of course it's my fault, who else would it be?" I flailed my arms in the air, pulling away from his chest. "Mine!" He practically shouted, "I should have showed you exactly how much I want you, need you... How much I fucking love you!" He shouted. My eyes went wide at his words. "L-love?" I whispered, "you love me?" "Of course I love you (Y/N)! I wouldn't be here right now if I didn't," he took a step towards me. "Calum..." I whispered. "Please (Y/N), just give me one more chance." I couldn't believe it, I'd done all the wrong... Yet here I was, Calum begging me for another chance? I looked in his eyes, as he whispered "I'm in love with you." Something inside me clicked and I knew it. "I love you too Cal..." He took one look at me before he took a huge step forward, his hand going to the back of my neck, crashing his lips to mine. I felt an actual surge of electricity shoot through my body. He was so perfect, in every way. I didn't care if he had tattoos or curlier hair than me... I was madly in love with every inch, trace, spec of him. His hands moved from my neck, down to my thighs, as he picked my up effortlessly while my hands were through his hair, his tongue still exploring my mouth through every second of it. He lay me back on the bed, towering me slightly. He began to unbutton the long top I used as a dress, freeing it from my body, leaving me in a boob tube & my lace panties. He groaned as his hands raked over every inch of my body, his hands pulling my thighs up so I could feel the bulge of his erection through his jeans. "Fuck," he hissed against my lips. My hands went to the hem of his v neck, as I pulled it over his head, our lips detaching momentarily. I took in his appearance, almost every inch of his skin was tattered with ink. On him, it could pass as art. He had one full sleeve, and a chest piece that still needed finished. I let out a moan as his lips came in contact with my neck, beginning to lower down my body. I fumbled with the belt on his skinny jeans, unbuttoning them & pulling them down. He kicked then off his legs, as he began to trail kisses further down my body. He stopped for a second, unzipping the back of my boob tube, discarding it somewhere in the large bedroom. "I love you," he whispered, his warm breathe leaving goosebumps on my skin. "So, so much." His lips trailed all the way down to my belly button, stopping just above my panties, hooking his fingers & pulling them down my legs. They were soon forgotten about, joining the rest of our clothing on the floor. His arms hooked around my upper thighs, pulling my legs over his shoulders. "Shit, Cal." I groaned, as his fingers dug into my hips. "Stay still baby," he whispered. His voice sent vibrations through my body, making me moan. A small chuckle was heard from him before his tongue got to work. "Shit, Calum!" I gasped, his tongue worked wonders. "Oh my god," I had no idea how audible my voice was, but the chuckle that escaped Calum's lips told me it was pretty loud. His hair tickled the inside of my thigh, sending a roaring chill up my body. "Ugh, shit" I moaned, as I felt his fingers enter me. "Right there!" I practically screamed. His hand was moving at a perfect pace between fast & slow, his tongue still working too. Before I knew it he pushed another finger in, and I cried out it pleasure. "Oh, Calum!" My voice cracked as my walls clenched around his fingers, my hands tugging at his hair. As my climax neared, his fingers sped up, "c'mon baby," he mumbled, "cum for me..." And that's all it took. As my release washed over me, my heart was racing & my breath completely uneven. "I bet Ashton couldn't make you cum that quick." He smirked, and he was right. Nobody would ever know my body like he did, touch me like he did. That alone, made him all the more hotter. He climbed up towards me, till he was towering me once more. My heart raced at the sight of him, his disheveled hair, while he bit his lip. He kissed me harshly, as I flipped him over so I was straddling him. His hands ran through my hair, while mine pulled at the elastic waistband of his boxers, lowering them down his legs. His erection stood there, tall and proud. I smirked lightly, before my tongue teased the top. He muttered a quick "Shit." Before I began to take him completely. I bobbed my head slightly, taking more of him each time I moved my head. I sped up slightly, hollowing my cheeks. "(Y/N), stop..." He groaned, "I want to be inside you." His voice was shaky, yet determined. I removed him from my mouth, only to have him grasp my hip & flip us over again. I was underneath him, one of his hands holding himself up above my shoulder, the other was pushing down on my hip. My own were tangled in his hair. "I love you (Y/N)," he whispered, before easing into me. "I love you too, Cal." My audibility matching his, as I arched my back from the pleasure. He began to thrust slowly, never fully leaving before thrusting back into me. "Shit Calum, faster!" I moaned, my hands moving from his hair, to his back. He did as I said, as he began slamming into me. All I could hear was skin on skin. My nails dug into his back, dragging up towards his shoulder blades. "Fuck (Y/N)," he groaned, thrusting repeatedly. He lifter on of my legs, and put it over his shoulder for better angle. One of my hands returned to his hair. He thrust into me harder, but slower. Hitting my g-spot every time. "Shit," He moaned, "I'm not gonna last." He whispered. "Me neither babe," I groaned as he repeatedly brought me pleasure. I felt him twitch inside me, causing my walls to clench. As our orgasms neared, Calum's lips connected with mine. "Ughhh," I moaned against his lips, as I hit my climax, Calum followed shortly after with a string of profanities leaving his lips. As we came down from our highs, we lay there, breathing harshly. "Oh my god." I gasped. "God nothing, that was all Calum." He chuckled, lifting himself up on his elbows before leaning down to kiss me. I could feel him smirk into the kiss, making me suspicious. "What?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at him. He rolled onto his back, wrapping his arms around me, entwining our legs together. "Oh, nothing." He chuckled. "Tell me!" I shouted, slapping his chest lightly. "I was just wondering how many people heard you, even over that loud music." He smirked, looking down at me. "I wasn't that bad," I giggled. "We'll see when we go back downstairs." "Shut up!" I chuckled, standing up to retrieve my clothing. A loud laugh erupted from me, as I stood at the edge of his bed. "What?" He asked, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "How the hell did my knickers get on the TV?" I couldn't stop laughing, as I snatched them, pulling them up my legs & began searching for the rest of my clothing. "You're so weird." He chuckled, buckling the belt on his skinny jeans & pulling his white V-neck over his head. "And so are you." I retorted, buttoning up my top. "That's what you love about me." He whispered, fumbling with the tips of my fingers, "vice versa." "Sure." I smirked, turning around to put on my shoes. He slapped my butt and jumped back by about a foot before I could react. "Oi!" I gasped, "watch it mister." I giggled. We walked out of his room, hand in hand, earning some strange looks from the people around us. We couldn't help but laugh, since we enjoyed ourselves. The rest of the night consisted of; more alcohol, banter & sex, and Calum's arms were around my waist the entire night. feel free to send in requests! Feedback is also welcome, but it's 6am & I should probably sleep.