Had one of the most bizarre conversations about my identity that I think I’ve ever had today.
Longtime followers may remember Zuma and her brother, who stayed with us in 2022 and then went back to their shitty foster parent. Well, they’re still in care and the foster parent is still shitty. Zuma and Brother are moving here in about a month for a multitude of reasons, and shitty foster parent is mad about it.
Today the caseworker, the kids’ bio parents, Sam, and I met for lunch to talk a little. The parents are safe, pretty chill, a bit like the Conductor’s mom.
We all sat down and immediately the mom says she wants to be fully honest about some things she’s heard from the foster parent: that 1) I “wasn’t [my name] when I was born” (aka trans) and 2) Sam’s “preferred intimate partners” are not me. The case worker freaked out and tried to steer us back to talking about the kids while the parents were all “we don’t have a problem with your lifestyle, just don’t shove it in our faces.”
It’s not the bio parents I’m even worried about in this case. It’s the fact that this fucking insane foster parent hates us so much that she 1) discloses that I’m trans to them (which everyone knows anyway?) and 2) makes up some weird assumption about Sam sleeping around with women because of, I guess, the way they look?????
I literally have had like 10 interactions with this woman in 2 years, during which none of them we talked about queerness. And the last time we talked, last weekend, she said, “I really want us to have a better relationship for the sake of the kids.”
Some very weird things have been said to me and about me and about Sam and I. But to bio parents by a foster parent is a new one. I don’t even know what to do. I guess nothing??
