#is this emo

[deadboywayne]

Still figuring out this design, but here's my first post just to quickly set up this account.

[beetleisbarking]

(Yo I’m kind of just rambling about sad things so don’t read this if you’re not in the mood. No tickles here, sorry.)

Hey guys I know I’m a tickle blog and nothing else but sometimes I do things and this feels like the one void I can shout into stupidly and nobody will know as long as I’m vague.

I entered a writing contest as a joke (and because I was told to by my instructors at school) and I expected nothing to happen. Of course the one time I actually get chosen as a finalist i don’t have a ride to attended the closing event where I’d be judged. I didn’t even know until yesterday and the opportunity has passed now.

I keep trying to remind myself about how privileged I am to have even been able to participate, to even get chosen in the first place. But I was asked to read my work. Someone saw something in me and I couldn’t fucking do it.

I’m not telling my parents. I’ve just told some friends and already I’m tired of being yelled at, of people saying I should’ve tried harder to get a ride. I’m alone in this dumbass dorm and this is what I’ve got. A fucking tickle blog to rant to. It’s kind of laughable. Pun intended.

It’s interesting. I started this blog when I was 14, almost 2 years ago, and my owl house fanfiction was so horrible. Still you guys stayed by. Thank you for that. Kind of cool of you to do.

I think I’m kind of an idiot honestly. Sometimes I wonder why I’m made how I am and how I wish I was normal. I wished I remembered things better. I wish I cared.

I may delete this later because it’s kind of stupid and way too emotionally charged. I’m being vulnerable and I don’t do that. This really ain’t the place for that. But I don’t care anymore. Not right now. Not right here.

So I guess that’s about it

[eelhips]

purging those silly ideas

[rockstar-vamp]

Sometimes I wonder what my family would think of me if they knew everything I’ve done

[susserursa]

maybe the thing that makes me special is that I’ll probably never figure out who I am, since I’m constantly changing and learning and growing 

[mistspinner]

millennial aesthetic: listening to The Black Parade on repeat while applying to jobs

[shimmy-all-the-way-home]

I kinda wanna just sit outside in the rain and see if it'll drown me