I recommend listening to this while reading
http://youtu.be/gn23sF_KSgk
Water dripped in the silent room. The house was old and beaten down, not much different than your body, not much different than you. You were beat and torn to pieces half your life just about. Everyone took a little bit of you everyday and you struggled to move on. You could faintly start to hear the small drops of rain hitting the roof. The lightening lit up the small room, thunder following soon after. You hurt. Your heart hurt. Your body hurt. Everything of you was pulsing deeply to your heart. The pain rocked your body and the hurt stabbed your heart. You gasp for air as your cries became sobs. You needed to leave and get out of here. Now was your time and time only.
You thought more on it as your head fell back to the wall, knees to chest and arms wrapped around yourself. You heaved for air as a panic attack took over. Your blood races through your veins, pumping your heart at an abnormal rate. Your arms fell from around you and your body falls forward. You moan out in pain as your bandage hand makes hard contact with the floor. Your chest heaves in and out, visible to the eye. Your breathing becomes loud and ragged. Your vision became blurred and your arms shook as they held up your weak body. You ribs ached with every intake and outtake. It was becoming unbearable.
These weren’t new to you and you knew how to take care of them but everything was so hard and you didn’t know what to do anymore. Your mind raced as you thought of your mother. The way her hair flowed down her back to the way her eyes shined bright with every word she spoke. How caring she was, was beyond you because these past year all you seen was envy, jealousy, pain, evil, and everything worth hating. You lost all faith of caring people anymore. You lost faith in this world of there being anything worth living for or loving. Everything had changed and nothing was the same after. You need to get away from it. If it meant you had to run on your own, then be it.
After your mother died from an unknown reason, your father became cold hearted. He became a drunk. He threw bottles and plates at you, demanding you to clean it. He’d beat you. He hit you everywhere and anywhere to make you feel pain because in his eyes, it was your fault for her death. It was you for everything. If he felt pain, you felt pain.
Hours before you forgot to make dinner. It was a simple mistake but there’s a set time for dinner. It must be done at seven p.m. exact or hell was to come. You took a nap after school and slept longer than you thought or wanted. By the time you finally woken up, you had ten minutes for dinner. You hurried down to the kitchen to start making the food but by the time everything was in the pans, the door slammed open and in came your dad. The second he seen no food on the table, the abuse came.
'Worthless' loosely fell from his mouth without a thought. It felt as though you were worthless. You couldn't even simply make dinner without messing it up. He picked up pans with the food in and threw them at the wall. You watch in horror and he comes more aggressive. Before you had time to run, your father grabs your hand and yanks you to him. You try getting away, twisting and turning in his hold but nothing worked. He pushed you to the stove and you caught yourself by catching the counter. Your other hand still worked on trying to get out of his hold, yanking and turning. He moves your hand over the heated element, the heat radiating and seeping through your hand. You plea and try getting away, knowing what was to come.
"Stop. Stop, please," tears run down your face in fear. He may hit and kick you but he never did this before and if you were being honest to yourself, you rather get a few kicks and slaps than getting your whole hand practically burned off.
"I’m sorry. Please," you slowly start losing your breath and your whole body shakes. More tears rush down your red face and you jerk. Your father starts yelling at you, calling you whatever he felt the need to call you.
He moves your hand to the burner and sticks it right on it. You cry in agony as he keeps it there for a few seconds too long that seem to be minutes. You thrash and pull away as your hand stuck to the burner. You skin was mostly gone and white. You heave for air as the pain took over. You couldn’t stand it and you cradle it to your chest. Gasps come out as your breathing becomes harder, gasps of pain take over. You were push to the ground and you cry out in pain as your hand made contact with the floor. It throbbed to the rush of your heartbeat. A kick is taken to your ribs multiple times and fist connect to your body wherever. You cry out as it was all given to you at once. You’ve never been in so much pain in your life with your hand being pretty much gone and your ribs being smashed in.
The hits stop but the pain becomes more intense. Breathing was almost something impossible but you hold yourself up with one hand and wrap the other around your chest. Everything throbs to the pound of your heartbeat. You watch your dad walk right out the door as you try standing. After many failed attempts, you finally get to your bathroom and bandage your hand. It took longer than it should but you finally get to your room, sliding down the wall, head falling back in exhaustion. After countless hours of thinking, you decide to run. You hold your rib as you grab at the wall to stand, hand slipping every now and then. You get to your door and listen for any noise. You knew your dad came back but he should already be asleep. You breathe hard with every step to freedom but the thought of just that, freedom, made you push yourself harder with every step. You walk all the way to the living room, out of breath, and the doubt starts to set. You had a feeling you weren’t going to make it far but you pushed yourself because you had nothing else but that little slice of hope rotting in the pit of your stomach.
You get to the door finally and hold yourself up on the wall, forehead resting heavily for support. You knew you looked nothing but broken. You could feel it even though you haven’t looked at yourself in the mirror. You never looked at yourself because disappointment was the only thing sprouting out of you as you would stare at yourself. You pull the door open slowly to not wake your dad. You hurry out the door and shut it slowly once again. You move slowly, arm wrapped to your chest. You walk forever, houses milling by slowly. It felt you were walking a lifetime when you really barely walked two blocks. You vision slowly blurs, being replaced by flashbacks. Fist clenched as your head shakes with memories. Flashbacks that hurt more than any beating given. Your body shakes with hurt. Your mind swallows any sanity you had left and all your body parts tingle with rage.
You didn’t understand the sudden feeling but it took over all your senses. Your sense of reality goes in and out as the memory of a happy father clouds your mind. How can someone turn to pure evil within a second? How could you possibly beat someone, let alone your own blood, without having any sense of remorse? Breathing wasn’t heavy because of the physical pain but the pure rage you felt for the man you called your father. The thought of him being your father made you want to throw up. He was no longer your father. He was the evil you despised in this broken world and he was going to be the end of it because as your mind clouded with the rage, it was soon replaced with a blackness as your body slammed to the ground.
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Your body pounded with every beat to your heart. Your eyes were glued shut and you force them to open. You look around and see that you are in an unknown room. You look around to slowly realize you’re in the hospital. You didn’t want to be in the hospital because they’d call your father and you didn’t want that. As you thought more on the matter, your heart rate increased and your monitor detected that. A nurse rushes in and checks on you. After many soothing words, you calm down.
"How long have I been here?"
"A few hours," the nurse tells you, checking everything and giving you more medicine. She soon asked your name when they couldn’t figure out who you were after someone called the police when they found you on the side of the street. No one knew you because you never talked to the people you lived by. Sure they’ve heard bad stuff about your father but they never knew you still lived there as you tried laying low. They then say they were going to call your parents but you soon stop her short.
"No. You can’t call my father. Please," tears engulf your eyes as you think about how much trouble you’d be in for. The nurse asked who did this to you before but you couldn’t get anything out but after this, she put two and two together.
"Sh, it’s okay. Is there anyone else to call?" She comforted you once again as a fit took over you.
"My aunt in Beacon Hills," you quietly say. Your aunt was always willing to take you in but you didn’t want to leave your mom, or where your mom was buried at least. This broke it though and you were willing to leave now. You wanted freedom and you were going to get what you deserved.
After explaining to you, you broke three ribs, you got a third degree burn on your hand, and a black eye, you were expected to leave in a day or two. You called your aunt and explained your issue and she said she’d be to the hospital within a day as she lived quit far from you. You knew your father didn’t know where you went nor did he care and you were no longer worried.
After no more than a day in the hospital, your aunt arrived to bring you to her house to live. You knew your father wasn’t home and you both head there once you were released with medication and a demand to take things slow for a few days with a few exercises you needed to do. You get everything you could into a few boxes, not that you had much to bring, and you were on the road. Your rage you felt that night was soon replaced with pain, once again. You were tired of feeling weak but you couldn’t help but feel broken, physically and mentally. Tears silently fell with the feeling of your world falling with it. You felt like everything was ending yet nothing was getting better. You didn’t deserve what was handed to you. You were a brave, caring, and thoughtful soul that deserved nothing but the world but your world was slowly being ripped from you. The life once inside you was ripped and torn from you and you never thought you’d get it back. You were more angry at yourself than anyone. You didn’t know why but you hated yourself at this moment more than you’ve ever had. The hatred bubbled deep inside you and you wanted nothing more than to let the world swallow you whole. You wipe away the tears with shaky hands.
You slam your head onto the window with so much anger, it grabbed your aunts attention. You could see her staring at you mindlessly out of the corner of your eye but you put no effort in to look at her or explain anything you were feeling. You were not due to owe any explanation to anyone but you knew the least you could do was give it to her. She did somewhat save you from your horrible life you were living. You just felt she’d pity you, first off, and you never wanted that. Secondly, you had so much anger built up, you knew you were capable of anything but you were mindless to the actual damage you could give out. You never wanted to hurt anyone and the least you could do was prevent any of it from happening.
"Hey, sweetie," your aunt called out to you. You didn’t move but ‘hmm’ hummed from inside your throat.
"You need to rest," she patted your shoulder. You didn’t want to sleep but you knew you had to sooner or later. You’ve been driving for hours and you lost track of time, hopelessly falling in a deep sleep. Nothing came good out that, though.
You jolt awake from your nightmare in a deep sweat. Your breathing finally slows down and you see that you’re on the side of the road, your aunt fast asleep. You breathe a sigh of relief and rest you sweaty forehead on the cold window of the car. You look at the time to see it says 3 am. You guys must of been on the road for 14 hours, close to home. You were worried about being on the side of the road but no one was around and you were by woods, making you more scared. What if some kind of animal came and tried getting you? Just as you thought about the all the bad possibilities, you seen something run across the front of the car. Your head shoots fast across the windshield to the woods where you’re met with a pair of yellow eyes but not just any kind of yellow, unnaturally glowing yellow eyes that scared you shitless. It had animal like features with a human body but as you looked deeper, you seen its facial feature turn into one of a humans. You’ve never seen anything like it before and you backed deeper into your seat. As it seen this, it ran faster than human speed, something you thought never to be possible. Your eyes widen and you shake your aunt awake. As you tried explaining what you seen, nothing came out. Your aunt said you were just hallucinating from your medicine and she needed to hurry home so you could rest more but you knew what you saw was nothing normal.
After hours of driving, many needed pit stops, and pain everywhere possible, you finally arrived to your new home. You sigh in pain as you struggle to get out of the car. You knew the first few days were going to be hard. You didn’t want to be here but you were thankful to get away. You kind of wanted to drift away from life, you wanted the world to swallow you whole and maybe no one would notice. You close your door and head to the back of the car to get your things but you were stopped short by an arm.
"Take it easy. I’ll get your things," you sigh in annoyance and move your way to the door. You climb slowly up the stairs and look around for your uncle, only to come up short of an uncle. Must be at work. You once again climb stairs but only to your room. You knew where your room would be because you already had your own room here from coming many summers when you were little. It was the perfect house and you always imagined living there. Imagined all the peace and happiness but now you doubted any of that would come. Just because you left all that behind, your ways were never forgotten and demons were always high on your tail, ready to be there when they’re needed most. You can’t leave out the best part of life, now can you?
You were exhausted but you couldn’t sleep. You were only greeted with nightmares and that was not something you wanted to see in a state that was suppose to be magical, another world, a beautiful place away from related. Why do something that no longer benefits you nor does no good for your fucked up mind? It doesn’t and shouldn’t work that way for you. You might as well stay awake to stay away from the night terrors every night. They were mind eating ways that you couldn’t get out in words, not that you’d want anyone to know what goes on in your mind.
You finally get to the bed to plop down, mind wondering off, eyes staring into the blank. You knew you couldn’t be happy here even if you tried. It just wasn’t a possibility for you, even if you were to move to paradise. Knowing the man that beat you senseless was out there unharmed, was enough to rotted your mind in a way happiness was not even a word with meanings anymore.
Your aunt finally walks into the room only to stop in the doorway. She stares at you blankly but slowly her facial features twisted into a painful one. You stare wide eyed at her as she drops your bags heavily to the ground, the sound booming through the room. You call out to her but it’s like she was unresponsive to any of your words, like she lost all senses. She grabs at her stomach as the tip of a knife makes it’s way all the way out of her stomach, blood slowly running down her and her shirt becoming red. You quiver in fear and shock, not knowing what to do. You jump off your bed to grab her as she slowly falls to her knees, the person behind her only made a blood curling scream rip out of your throat.
"(Y/N)," your name was screamed out. Your eyes slowly become focused to an unharmed aunt who is crouching in front of you. You look around the room in confusion only to come up with that you fell asleep.
"It must of been a nightmare," you state.
"But you weren’t sleeping, (Y/N)," your aunt states in worry. You look around once again, everything was perfectly fine and you were confused.
"What happened to your hands?" You aunt grabs at them and looks at your fingers in worry.
"Were you scratching at your jeans?" You look down at your broken fingernails and bloody fingertips. Your jeans were stained with blood and scratch marks covered them. You stare at the bed to see them bloody, scratched and a bit tattered just like your jeans. It was like you were trying to escape from something that wasn’t there.
"Um, I don’t know," you blankly tell your aunt. You were surely going crazy and you didn’t know why. You were getting away from the crazies, only to become one of them? Nothing could sanely answer your questions because there was no way to answer it.
"Let’s clean you up and fix your bed," she helps you to the bathroom and you watch her blankly as she helps your aching hands, not that you noticed the ache to them. You were kinda numb and nothing felt normal anymore.
After a few unexplainable things, awful nightmares and sleepless nights, you were finally enrolled to Beacon Hills High. You started that Monday and you were not excited. You looked half dead, felt fully dead and you were sleep deprived and hungry but nothing stayed down fully. You just stopped trying and laid in bed the whole day, staring off into space or trying to sleep. You finally lost track if you were awake or not because both turned out to be horrible and unexplainable. What you thought was reality only turned into a nightmare. You’ll be awake, ready to go to the bathroom, only to open the door to come face to face with your old house that was torn apart. You’d wake up from that but end up being in yet another nightmare. It was weird, like a dream within of a dream?
You wakeup Monday morning in a cold sweat and out of breath. Rushing to the bathroom, you catch a glimpse of your odd fingers. You count them to find you have an extra two on each hand. You close your eyes, breathing heavy and you chest heaving. Tears swarm you tightly shut eye lids and fall from the sides.
"Come on. Please," you scream. You open your eyes again and count your fingers. Ten. You sigh in relief, opening the door. A cold shower and an hour later, you were ready to go down stairs and get your backpack and leave.
"Hey, you need to eat first," called out your uncle. You haven’t talked much in the past week or so. You just felt the need to keep quit and act like everything would be ok, act like everything was ok but it wasn’t. You were completely loosing your fucking mind and you would sound insane if you told anyone, so keeping quit was your only option.
"I’m good. I ate something before my shower," you lied with a shrug. You didn’t want them worrying about you, so you gave a little white lie of reassurance. It wasn’t like it was going to hurt you or them.
You get in your aunts car as you said goodbye to your uncle and you were on your way to school. As she drove out of the driveway, you seen two teen boys around your age leave the house across the street. Of course you never seen them as you stayed inside the whole time you were there. There was one though that caught your eye. He was tall, lanky, and had somewhat wavy hair. He was wearing a scarf, which threw you off because it was not cool enough to wear scarves. What caught your attention though was that he looked like the thing that ran across the street when you guys were stopped miles away from home, though. It couldn’t be him because first off, no ones eyes can glow or even be the yellow they were. Also, no one could run the way that thing did but with all the crazy things going on around you, you’d never deny the doubt of it possibly being true. You were miles away, what possibly would he be doing in the woods early in the morning at that? It was like he was some mythical creature and you were going to crack down on it and see what it was. Sensing your stare, the boy turns and stares at you wide eyed. You turn away and look straight ahead.
"I’m staying after school to go to the library but I’ll call you," you tell your aunt once you get to the school. She follows you in even after many ‘it’s ok’ and ‘I got it’s’. You were sure you could make it to the office by yourself but she insisted on helping you. You finally made it through and got to your first class. You walk in late because you couldn’t find your class, on top of that you had to drag along as you were tired and hurting. Your book bag was also putting too much pressure on your shoulders. Everyone’s eyes follow to you and you blush in embarrassment. You fold your arms and look down at your fumbling feet that brought you deeper into the room. You knew you looked awful as you still had a faint black eye, wrapped hand, and a slight slump to your posture because your ribs were hurting at the moment. Your teacher greets you and tells you to sit. To your luck, no really, you’re sat next to the kid from across the street. Throughout the whole hour, glances were given your way by everyone but mostly the kid next to you, who you learned was Isaac from the many yells from the teacher to stop staring and pay attention. He would turn bright red and you’d shake your head in amusement. Even though everything was hard and unexplainable, you still found the amusement in some situations. You weren’t completely dead.
Your first class was over and you made your way to your next class. Which you were in luck because it was only a few rooms down. Your teacher once again greeted you after you introduced yourself to him. He told you to take a seat next to Isaac, who was staring you down. You shuffled your feet and huffed, making your way to your seat. You wince in pain as your rib aches. You start doing one of your breathing exercises that you were told to do when in pain. It somewhat helps and everyone rushes in as the bell rings. You were told to get out a notebook to take notes, which you did. As you took down notes, everything slowly changed and you looked around, everyone still in their seats, heads turned to you. You gasp in horror as you slowly slip through your chair as the ground opens up. You fall through what seems to be black water, bubbles bubbling out from around your fall. You try swimming away but the further you got, the further the hole was visible. You screamed but you were muffled by the water, only bubbles coming out. You weren’t going to be able to make it this time as your breathing hastily slowed down. Your eyes dropped and your body slowly stopped moving in a hurried need of help.
You open your eyes to come face to face with a ceiling. You pick yourself up but only groan in pain, falling back on the pillow. The school nurse comes in.
"I called your aunt who’s coming to pick you up. You need to stop being so reckless and take care of yourself. You need to rest and try getting some food down or your consequences will be more severe next time. Take care of yourself, ok?" You nod your head and finally sit up after you regained your sense of mind, the nurse helping. Your body ached in need for sleep but you knew you couldn’t, you’d only wakeup in horror more tired than before.
Your aunt soon comes in with a worried expression. She knew something was going on with you but she just couldn’t put her finger on it. Now she got a sense of mind on what was wrong: you were sleep deprived and starving, nothing good.
"Why did you lie this morning? You need to take better care of yourself, (Y/N), or you’re not going to get better. Please, try," she rambles on to you, lecturing that you need to be a more responsible ‘adult’. You weren’t an adult, though, and everyone was just expecting so much from you, that you started giving up on yourself, on everything.
"Please, (A/N), I know. I’m trying, ok," you stare out the window with tears of doubt in your eyes. If you couldn’t even do anything right to your aunt, what does everyone else think of you?
You made it up the stairs once you got out of the car and head to the kitchen. You were going to try eating just to try for your aunt. You grab a bowl, soup can, and spoon. You make the soup and sit at the table, your aunt watching to make sure you got everything down. She promised to stay with you for the rest of the day and keep watch on you. To your surprise and much to your aunt, you finally fell asleep within a few minutes and no nightmare came but the bright, glowing, yellow eyes made an appearance in your dreams. Isaac oddly appeared in your dream, too. You rather have off dreams with Isaac and the yellow eyes than the night terrors you been having.
You wakeup just in time to get ready for school. You take a shower, put on your normal t-shirt, jeans and shoes. You head down the stairs while putting your wet hair in a ponytail and greeting your aunt and uncle with a kiss on the cheek. You woke up feeling relieved and more alive than you have been the past week or two. You grab the toast your aunt offered and sat down with a cup of orange juice.
"Great," you tell your uncle who looked up from his paper to look at your bright eyes. Your bags under your eyes were no longer as visible as before and you seemed more into reality. He nods and goes back to the paper.
You make it to school in enough time to search for you class once again and take your seat before the bell. Isaac’s eyes follow your every move and he turns to you once you take a seat.
"I’m better. Thank you," you give him a small smile and turn back to your bag, ready to get out all you needed. You take a glance at him once more, seeing he was still facing you, ready to say something but he was cut off from the bell. The rest of the day went like that, Isaac ready to talk to you but only being cut off by something. To your surprise, you had just about every class with Isaac and he always seemed ready to say something to you but you said nothing, just wanting to get to the library at the end of the day. Once it was over, you rushed to the school library. You go to the back to the mythical section and search for anything worth reading. You catch a glimpse out the window to see all the boys practicing lacrosse. You watch as they head inside to the changing rooms. Within twenty minutes, the library was bombarded with the lacrosse team who occupied all the tables. The only thought to mind was that they wait here till they’re ready to go home. You huff in annoyance at their loudness. You look up to make eye contact with Isaac who was staring in your direction, not listening to his teammate at all. His teammate slaps his shoulder and Isaac turns to him, rubbing his shoulder. You plop down with a few books surrounding you. You couldn’t focus the whole time with the noisy boys and the constant stares from Isaac. You’ve only talked to him once and it seemed he wanted to hold a long conversation with you, not that you wanted that or not. You wanted to just figure out what the hell was out there that night.
You grab a few books to check out and head for the doors, a few boys eyes following you. You call your aunt and you wait outside for her. The rest of the night you read on and on about many mythical creatures and how they worked. You soon lost track of time, not getting any sleep. You sigh and rub your tired eyes, getting ready for school and stuffing the books in your bag. For weeks, you read all the books you could at lunch, in the library after school and even at home. Your night terror soon came back. This time there were more things happening in your dreams. Like, people dying and your dad being in them, sending out a message that he was coming for you. Reality and your nightmares became one and you never knew if you were awake or not. You slowly lost track of how to read, letters and numbers turning into foreign ones. You couldn’t even open your locker with the numbers not being numbers. You keep away from everyone and made everyone trying to talk to you go away. Even Isaac stopped giving you wanting looks but now ones of worry. You’d write down random things in your notes that you couldn’t even read, in a language you’ve never seen. Panic attacks became more frequent and you had a hard time keeping them under control. To your luck though, they were when you were alone. You would try counting your fingers, reassuring yourself you weren’t dreaming or going out of your mind.
You head to the library, seeing a few people around and to your surprise Isaac. You look out the window to see no one and assumed there was no practice today. You grab a book on werewolves and other animal like creatures. You open it to the first chapter on werewolves, gasping as you seen the hairy beast. His face looked somewhat like the thing you seen in the woods. You go to read the section of words on it but they start slowly running down the page, no longer being able to read anything as they fall off the page. You look around as everything slowly droops into a mess around you. Everything speeds up and slowly down as you move, book falling from your hands. Your hands try catching everything as your body twitches and stumbles as you try getting out. You finally get out of the library to stumble and grab at the wall as your body twitches and you try catching your breath as a panic attack takes over. Tears blur your vision as you couldn’t breathe.
Isaac rushes out of the library door to see you stumbling around the hallway. He rushes to you and grabs you, holding you tight to his body and speaking soothing words to you, trying to get you to breathe. As you look up to him, his face slowly twists into what you just seen in the book, a werewolf, and his eyes glow yellow. Your breathing becomes hard once again as you start hyperventilating. You push on his chest and his nail slowly come out, dragging across your back. He let’s go and you stumble back, you move back away from him.
"N-no," you tell yourself.
"This isn’t real. Wakeup, (Y/n). Wakeup. Wakeup. Wakeup," you get louder with every word, screaming at yourself and pulling at your hair. You close your eyes and scream at the top of your lungs.
You open them to see you’re shaking and huddled into the corner of the library, away from everyone. Books were everywhere, like you wrecked everything. Your breathing was ragged and you were trembling in fear. You look up to see Isaac crouched in front of you, hands up. As he sees you’re finally okay, he grabs you and sits where you were, holding you. He softly tells you soothing words to comfort you, rubbing your arms. Your breathing becomes softer and you breathe in deeply, allowing all the air needed to your lungs. You look up only to see everything slowly shifting once again, yet nothing happening at all. You look back to Isaac, only to see he’s not there. Turning around, a hand is shot out to yours and your eyes follow up to who it belonged to. It was Isaac’s.
"All that we see or seem is but a bad dream in a dream," he tells you as he drags you along with him. Maybe he was all you needed to be sane as everything becomes normal once again. The war for sanity was all but a dream inside a bad dream.
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This took me so long to write! It’s weird and probably far from what you requested but I hope you like it. I haven’t read over it, so there are mistakes. Please look over them.
