#isbdb

[marytohrture]

Self-Loathing

Written with @ChosenDarkened

Mary: *I just arrived back home and parked my car near the fountain. Turning off the engine, I took a deep relieving breath and relaxed in my seat for a moment. The weight lifted from my shoulders knowing that #SafePlace would be in good hands for a while. 

I stepped out in the cool air of the night and made my way up the steps of the manse and entered the first chamber and looked up into the video monitor to be let into the inside. I was relieved to be home for a few weeks before returning to work.*

Layla: *I’d been back a couple of days, I think, when I was told I could finally have a visitor. I was hoping for my daughter but knew that would be far-fetched. I knew it could be no-one else that I’d been very close to as they were gone. This room is lit and I’ve had good care given to my external wounds but it still is a prison. It’s the same size as the one the Omega kept me in just light whereas his prison for me was always dark. My eyes still sting with how bright it is sometimes. Wish there was a dimmer switch in here, that’d be nice.

I’ve started knitting again, I’m better this time around than I was during my pregnancy. It keeps me busy and isn’t as mind-numbing as the tv can be. Although sometimes being numb in my mind has its place, like when I’m supposed to sleep but I can’t because of the nightmares. I haven’t told anyone about them, there seems to be something more important going on at the moment and I won’t take from that. I need to feed desperately, the headaches are swirling but I keep quiet. The last time I complained I was beaten and I won’t do that again. No, it wasn’t by my family but the Omega and his goons. I guess it’s still ingrained to keep silent. 

I miss companionship, I miss my young. I’m so sad yet so angry at all I’ve lost that I may never have again. I feel so guilty over my loved ones that were lost, even my son whom I never got to know. Because of me, he’s gone. As is Xcor. I need the thoughts to stop, maybe I should have just died. I grab my knitting and begin to knit another item with fervor, using it to avoid more thinking*.

Mary: *One of the doggens allowed me inside the manse, and I looked around and admire, once again, the beautiful foyer with the apple tree. Though it has been almost 100 years since I first arrived in this manse as a dying human … the beauty of what Darius created still floored me. 

Just as I was taking off my coat, I get a text on my phone. Looking down at my phone, I find a text from Nalla, that Layla had been found and is in the medical suite. Mary Mother of God, she’s been found. Over the years the family had to assume that she may have died after being taken. It was the lesser of two evils. With Lyric and her, both being found … makes me wonder how they had both survived for as long as they had. I quickly dropped all my stuff on the foyer table and knew the doggen would later bring it up to my room regardless if I ask them not to … normally I would do it myself, but I needed to get to the medical suite.

I go down the long corridor underneath the manse and enter the code to get through the supply closet and into the office and through the door into the hallway. I quietly walked past the rooms and leaned into the windows until I found the one I wanted and knocked quietly.*

Layla: *I hear a soft knock on my door and figuring it’s Manny I tell them to come in. When I see the female who enters I take a deep breath. “Mary.” I say softly. My emotions are twirling once again as I see the face of a friend I didn’t think I’d ever see again.

She asks if she can enter and I tell her yes. She looks as shocked as me, she must have thought me dead like everyone else. Instinct has me getting up and heading over to hug her but I pull back at the last minute. I’m not sure she wants a hug from me. This awkwardness is new but I suppose not unusual. 

 “Ummmm do you want to sit down?” I head back to the bed and sit, not sure what else to do with myself at that particular moment. I don’t know if Mary is here to renew our friendship or was asked to come and check on my mental health. Probably the latter if I’m being honest with myself. I start to fidget, my nerves are taking over. I look at her then down to my lap where my fingers are twiddling. I take a deep breath, look at her and say, “So, long time no see.”

Mary: *I went up to the bed and gently gave her a hug. She looked the same but not the same. She was so thin, clearly haven’t been able to feed properly or refresh back at the Sanctuary that many of the Chosen choose to do. Taking her hands into mine, I sit on the bed.*

It has been a very long time. I am blessed by the Scribe Virgin to still be alive to have this moment with you. How are you feeling? Do you need to call for food or something to drink?

*The last thing I would do is to ask her what happened to her over these years. She can talk about that when she was damn ready. Clearly, it was traumatic and she couldn’t escape until now, otherwise, she would have been home sooner. The last thing she needed was to talk about it now. I need to steer our conversation to other things, more pleasant.*

Actually, if you feel up to it and its medically approved, why don’t we go into the kitchen. I haven’t eaten since First Meal. I can make you something. You craving anything? *Thinking quickly about what she may have missed.* How about pancakes? Or waffles?

*The doggen are used to me tinkering around in the kitchen to feed Rhage, Bitty and myself. Hopefully, they won’t go berserk if I cook for Layla. I’ll send them to clean the car if I need to, to keep them busy without them hovering over us.*

Layla: *Waffles sound awfully good. It’s been a while since I’ve had more than protein shakes and the occasional peanut butter sandwich. I would love to see the house again too.

Manny gives us the go-ahead as long as Mary stays with me so we head through the hallway, the doors, and out into the main hall. The apple tree is just as magnificent and lovely as I remember. I smile at Mary, “it feels good here. Thanks for bringing me back in here.” We head for the kitchen where the doggen starts to fuss about but Mary says a couple of words to them and they bow and head out the door. 

“Can I help?” I don’t like feeling worthless and it’s in my nature to help but Mary points to the chair and tells me to sit for now. I ask her where Fritz is as I haven’t seen him hovering about and he is usually the first one to one of us. I also ask about her hellren and daughter.

I know some of the answers will not be happy but I need to start getting to know my family again somewhere. I’ve missed so much; all I want is to see them, hug them, and find Xcor and my son.

As we talk, Mary is cooking up a storm. I think she forgot it's me and not her hellren she’s cooking for! “Mary … there is no way I can eat all of that!” She laughs and says Rhage will finish the leftovers, which I know is the truth. It feels good to laugh a bit. 

After we eat Mary takes me on a walk around the premises, both inside and outside, so I can reacclimate myself a bit. I know I will be in the medical suite for a bit longer but it’s still nice to feel like I belong again. We continue to walk and talk about trivial things. I finally say, “are you going to ask me why I’m still alive?”

Mary: *I talked about Rhage and Bitty for a bit when Layla asked. I also made more food than both she and I could eat but I tended to cook for my hellren Rhage and I knew he would finish whatever I cooked. Plus the manse was filled with family so the food would get eaten. 

It was nice to talk about my family and we laughed a bit. We finished our meal and we started walking around the manse, not much has changed over the years. We tended to keep whatever Darius created unless something became broken and needed to be replaced. We always tended to replace it with an exact replica where we could.

While we intermittently talked about ordinary things, she finally seemed to want to talk about what happened to her.*

Are you ready to talk about it? I know that it couldn’t have been easy for you. What happened after the SUV crashed?

Layla:  *I sigh heavily realizing I have to draw on memories I’ve sworn not to relive ever. I sit down on a bench in the hallway and start wringing my hands. I’m praying that I can hold the tears back as I retell what I can remember of that night.

Lessers, more than I thought were still around came out of nowhere. We crashed trying to get around them. No one wanted to fight them while young were in the SUV. After the crash, the lessers tore into the doors and the males had no choice but to fight to protect Lyric and I. I felt so helpless. Qhuinn told me to run and keep running til I could demat out of there. I tried but the lessers were everywhere and when I hid behind a tree to take a breath, they caught up to me. I screamed, Lyric cried for Qhuinn. She was clinging to me as I tried to get away but there were too many. I saw Qhuinn coming our direction, I know he heard Lyric crying for him but he didn’t get to us. They took him down. I never saw Phury or what happened to him. Qhuinn though… <I hiccup as the tears pour down my face.> When they started stabbing him, the look on his face, Lyric crying. I crumbled and I’m so ashamed. My heart broke into a million pieces as I waited for the Fade to come my way.

<I wipe the tears away.> The lessers tore Lyric from me and gave me an ultimatum. Follow them and stay with my daughter or die with the warriors. I went, I didn’t want to die and I didn’t want to live without my child. I felt like that part in Sophie’s Choice where she had to choose a child. If I died then my young lost both parents. If I stayed with Lyric, then I had hope that one day I’d be reunited with my son.

However, the Omega was waiting and talking about a plan to create a new strain of lessors more powerful than before. He promised I could see and tend to Lyric and I believed him. My room, in the Omega’s lair, was small and dark. Light was never allowed. The only voices I ever heard were from lessors who came to chuck food under the door. Protein bars are what they fed me, usually once a week. Occasionally, a bit of human blood just so I didn’t die on them or some of the Omega’s blood if they were mad at me. They took blood too on occasion, but I was never told what it was all for and I didn’t ask. The one time I did, I was punished severely by the Omega and his forelesser. <Shivers run down my spine recalling their brand of punishment.> Anytime I spoke up too much, I was punished. Nails, hammers, whips, anything they had around that they thought would be fun.

I WAS A FOOL Mary!!! <I yell the pain out/> I should NEVER have believed him but I was blinded by fear and anguish and who knows what else. He took my daughter from me, hell … he took both my young from me. I was a traitor, a coward. <I hung my head low hating myself and my weakness.> I deserve to be tossed out into the sun but I NEED to see Lyric. I need to see her face and know she’s alright. <Sighs> I know Wrath and the Brothers need answers and I’m ready to help however I can. It’s time ….

Mary: *My heart went out to Layla and pain echoed hers as I thought of Qhuinn and Phury. Everyone in the household died that day, especially Blay and Cormia, along with Zsadist, his twin. It took years before the household felt remotely normal again. Then too soon after with Queen Beth, Fritz, Craeg, Tohr then Butch. And now? With the loss of Rehv, Blay, Novo and Baldassare … it felt hollow and empty. So many losses in this one century compared to all the others. We have added to our ranks but it will never fill the void that all the others left behind.

I hugged Layla as she cried and decided she needed to tell Wrath everything that happened all those years ago and since then. Hopefully, any details that The Brotherhood could use to find the Omega’s location and she needed to know what happened with the family too. These will not be the last tears either of us shed today.*

I think it may be time to go see Wrath, he needs to know everything and we all need to talk about it all. I also didn’t want to make Layla live through it over and over again. She’s been through enough. *It made me wonder if Lyric needed to attend as well. Though I’m not sure what we should put them in a room together yet. Perhaps I can get it recorded for her to see later. I needed to ask V. I quickly sent out some texts and confronted Layla until she calmed enough to go to Wrath’s office and repeat her story. This needed to be handled delicately.*

Layla: *The tears slow down as Mary comforts me. I needed that comfort in that moment. She’s right, it’s time to talk to Wrath. I don’t want to repeat myself more than necessary. The memories hurt too damn much. 

“Do what you need to do Mary to set things up with Wrath and anyone else that wants to attend. It does need to be put out there for everyone to know. Hopefully, it eases hearts a little bit, knowing what happened. I’m going to go rest for a little while. Just knock when you are ready for me to talk to Wrath. Whatever’s needed Mary, I’m there.”

[immortalsinnersbdb]

Destiny has Arrived

Written by @DarksDestiny

As I gathered my bags from the baggage compartment of the train, I could not believe I was back. Back in Caldwell. I had left after the Primale released the Chosen. Running to the west coast. I wanted to be as far away from Caldwell as I could. A place where no one knew my face or what I was. Los Angeles was the city of dreams for some but for some reason, I could never quite figure out what my “dream” was. It took a while to learn the ways of the civilians but I wanted to blend in so I did my best. Waiting tables to pay my rent and just getting by day to day. It was definitely nothing like what I was accustomed to and, damn it, there were moments I missed the comforts of being in the Primale’s care. But I had proven to myself that I was a strong, independent female who could survive on her own. But things around had changed. The stories of the war the Lessening Society were growing. The war had escalated and rumors surfaced that no vampires were truly safe. I had not wanted to return but I realized that I spent more time looking over my shoulder than anything. So, I made the choice to return to Caldwell. I hailed a taxi and asked him to take me to the nearest hotel. The trip back across the country took several nights and had been axing. I needed a very hot shower and a clean, soft bed in a very dark room. Pulling up to Caldwell Inn the driver helped me with my bags and then slipped me his number as I paid the fair. Yep, some things are the same in Caldwell as in LA. Creepy perverted cab drivers. I made my way into the hotel, first discarding the phone number, and then checking in and requesting no cleaning service for the morning as I had been traveling for a few days and really needed a nice, long sleep. Twenty minutes later, I was standing under the spray of the shower, the water running down my face and body. Thought filled my mind, mostly memories and flashbacks to my time serving the Brothers. I will never forget the one male who made by heart skip a beat when I saw him. I was honored that he took my vein. But, he never truly saw me. I was nothing to him as it was supposed to be. But that doesn’t mean a female can’t have a few secret fantasies. Shaking my head to push away those thoughts, I brought myself back to the present. Now that I am here, what am I going to do with myself. My first objective, find a job and then a place to stay. I assumed I could return to the Primale and ask for his protection, but I couldn’t do that. Being this close to him and the Brothers would give me enough peace of mind. I would be fine on my own. At least that is what I keep telling myself anyway. As the shower turned cold, I stepped out and wrapped a big fluffy towel around my body and took a second to dry my hair as I walked through the room. Once again I checked the locks on the door. I had asked for a room with no outer window which they luckily had a few which were adjacent to the indoor pool available. I made sure the curtains on the window to the pool were tightly closed and threw the comforter from the bed over them just to be certain before dropping my towel and sliding between the sheets. I knew sleep would take me fast and as I closed my eyes, I prayed to the Scribe as I did every night, for safety from the evils that walk this world and to one day find my true mate, whoever he might be.

[bellaahgony]

Another Long Night

Wrath: This was one of the worst parts of my job. The part where I had to break the most difficult news. I was going to have to tell Ehlena that after all the work that she had done to save the injured that had come back from the mission, we had not been able to bring Rehv home to her alive. It wasn’t just Ehlena, either. At the moment, there were about six of these meetings I was going to have to have, more if we lost anyone else during the next few days.

These meetings were soul crushing, even for the most hardened of warriors. That was one of the reasons we did it together. We stood as a unit. We were the Brotherhood, the warriors and protectors of our race. The symbology of the group was that one failure belonged to us, as a whole. However, we all knew the failure was mine. I was the one that sent those males and females out to their deathbed. I was the one that received the tip and decided we didn’t have enough time to double and triple-check our sources. We had to move fast, or the one possibility of rescuing Lyric was going to slip through our fingers and we had never been so close before.

The Brothers had arrived at my office, some in pairs, others by themselves. It would be a long night for us. I had asked Selena to collect Ehlena for me, once she was finished in the PT suite, and Selena was to coordinate with Mary to gather Bella and Z. The phone had rung not three minutes ago to let me know that Ehlena was just finishing up. It wouldn’t be long now. @Banded_Warrior

Zsadist: It had been hours since I got back from the mission and every fiber of my body was bone ass tired, but Bella had been unable to sleep, and therefore I had forced myself to stay awake. She had tried throughout the day, I think more for my sake than her own, but she had not been able to claim a state of slumber. Every time I thought she might have dozed off, sobs would come and rack her body, and I would just pull her in tight, once more.

The clock had no sooner stuck 4pm when there had been a knock on the door. Rolling away from Bella, I got up to answer it. As I swung open the door, I saw Mary standing just outside, worry plastered across her face. “How’s she doing?” She whispered.

I shook my head in response, “Not good.” I knew she was being polite but, stupid, fucking question!

“Wrath would like to see you and Bella in his office.”

I closed my eyes and begged for this not to be happening now. I wasn’t in the mood for this pomp and circumstance shit. But, this was a part of the gig. I simply nodded at Mary, “Give me a sec.” She nodded back and I shut the door before returning to my mated bed.

Taking a seat on the bed next to Bella, I softly laid a hand on her hip. “Nalla, my love. The King requests our presence in his office.” @BellaAhgony

Bella: *My eyes were swollen from all the crying as I turned my head to try to focus on my hellren’s face. As I opened them I looked into his beautiful citron eyes that I haven’t seen in a long while. He really must be worried about me to switch black from his normal obsidian as of late. In the last few years, I noticed that I rarely saw his twin’s eye color unless they were directly focused on me or Nalla. So I knew he was concerned about my well being. How could he not? We only just lost Phury. Though it has been almost a century ... it still felt like it was recent, so he knew exactly how I felt. These were the moments where living for centuries is a drawback.

As I realized his words, Wrath summoned us?*

Has something happened? *I asked quietly … afraid to know the answer. We’ve been hidden in our mated chambers since Z delivered the news. I haven’t been able to sleep, in my mind I saw all the memories I had with mine brother. Eating Frosted Flakes, watching cartoons … he always watched over me. Well into transition, when he bought me my cottage that was next to Mary’s. The memories like a movie playing in my mind of my life wherever and whenever Rehv was present.

I rose from the bed and moved to the walk in closet to change my clothes to make myself more presentable and Z and I made our way down the hall of statues towards Wrath’s office.* @EternalEhlena

Ehlena: [It had been one of the longest nights in a very long time, not just for the PT Suite but surgery as well. So many were hurt, but I had yet to head about any that had not made it back alive. Earlier in the eve after the group had taken off to go bring Lyric back home worry had bloomed inside me as it always had. I was confident though that they would succeed and everyone would be whole again. I hadn’t originally wanted to let Rehv go, but I knew he was going to once he decided. I knew he could help them and he had promised to come back to me, and our young. We all needed him, and I was not able to stay at home waiting. Thankfully I was asked to come help prepare things for their return and all who would be returning injured.

My thoughts were all over the place, those moments in time seemed like they were days ago instead of a few short hours. My heart had been aching and I knew it was because I was worrying so much. The race had already lost so many good males in our battles but now we were facing the possibility of losing more. To save a female who had been gone for far too long. I was confident that she was going to be brought home to us. Everything had become a madhouse once the injured started to arrive. Assessing who was more urgent than the rest. When I was pulled to go help in surgery I didn’t object, I was needed and I knew that I could help them. It would also help to keep me from feeling the odd pain that was in my chest that I could not shake.

There was a moment that I managed to get when everything seemed to calm down, I was standing outside the suite looking at the others who were still here. I could see that they had been receiving care but they would be here for at least another night. My head turned as I heard footsteps and saw that Selena was coming towards me. No I thought to myself she had to be coming to see the injured herself. It did not stop the pounding of my heart though which only became worse the closer she got to where I stood. She’s come to get me, Rehv must not have the energy to do such. I smiled softly to myself my male always having my best at heart. But it dropped when she had spoken. “Wrath needs to see you, in his office.” I shook my head only once as I replied, fear blooming as my mind wandered to what it could mean.] No. [It was the only thing I could say, I was still needed here and at the moment I couldn't leave them short staffed.] @PurebredMthrFkr

Wrath: Time ticked by so slow, I felt like I was waiting for a response from the government on something, when in fact, it had only been mere minutes before Z and Bella arrived at the door. The quiet chatter that had taken up the room only moments before, had suddenly come to an abrupt stop. Even Whiskey seemed to notice a shift in the room as I felt his head nudge at my hand in my lap. I reached over and scratched behind his ear before getting to my feet. Waving my hand at what was supposed to be two empty chairs in front of my desk, “Bella, please come in and have a seat. We are waiting on one more person.”

Knowing that Bella already knew about her brother’s passing and was probably in no mood for this right now, only made me hope to get it all underway as quickly as possible, but we needed to wait for Ehlena. This was only the first of many of these meetings for me, but I felt enormous amounts of sympathy for those that would sit across from me tonight. @Banded_Warrior

Zsadist: At Bella’s question, I simply shook my head. “No, Nalla. This is all just part of the official bullshit.” I put my hand on the small of her back and led her down the hallway to Wrath’s office. As we got to the doorway, I stopped for a moment looking in, silently begging to anyone listening that I didn’t have to go in. I hated these things when I was just one of the many faces in the room. I did not want to watch my Shellan have to be the one sitting in that fucking hot seat. Over the years, during this war, I had seen too many break down in that seat and I had watched Bella go through enough already tonight. Her eyes were already beet red from sobbing all night, there were bags under them, and I knew she didn’t want to have to go through it all again, especially not in front of the whole family. However, this was the way of our world. Everything was ritual.

Wrath broke the silence and called us in… well, Bella to be precise. I took a deep breath, and after a gentle nudge to her low back, followed her into the room. @BellaAhgony

Bella: My eyes felt heavy and dry, my arms were around my body holding on to myself to keep from falling apart. The warmth of my hellren’s hand kept me from falling to the ground into a fetal position. I knew this must be the official gathering of the Brotherhood for Ehlena. I’m only guessing that they are congregated here rather than going to her was so that the many conversations that Wrath had to deliver would be kept privately for those loved ones. Made sense. I’m sure he would have wanted it for me but there was no way Zsadist would be able to keep it from me through all the chaos of the medical bay the previous night.

I barely noticed that we had arrived at Wrath’s office and being nudged into the room, but as Z gave me a tight hug and set me down gently in a chair and kissed my forehead it awoke me from my haze as I held onto his hand as stood sentry behind me. Lending me his undying support and love through the small connection. I will be forever grateful that Zsadist was my rock.* @EternalEhlena

Ehelna: [I sighed as Selena did not leave, insisting even more that Wrath had requested my presence and he would not want to wait. Any other day I would agree our King when summoning someone that was answered as soon as they heard it. I looked over my shoulder, back to the suite. Where we were short staffed and every hand was needed here to help each patient. Something told me that it would not be the end should I go back inside to help and not go with the Chosen. Sighing softly I nodded once.] Give me a moment to let them know that I need to leave

[I cleaned up the best I could before moving back to where I had left her waiting, moving past her I continued to walk. My mind now beginning to go into overdrive. Our King had not gone out, should not have any injuries. My heart was in my throat as I climbed the stairs afraid now as I stood before the hallway that lead to the office. I dared not move I couldn't bring myself to do it. Selena had gone since she had technically done what was asked of her. I was here, but suddenly not so brave anymore. Those long buried feelings of being lost surfacing from back when my father had passed. Then I had Rehv there with me to help through it all. I wanted him here and that's all I knew at this moment. I glanced about the hall hoping that maybe he was just inside the office and that was why I was called here. To take him home after the battle they had just had.

I could hear soft crying on the other side of the door and my heart leapt into my throat. Oh no don't tell me Bella…..Z…… I forgot to knock and just burst right into the room my eyes and then my form going straight to her not clicking for a moment that she was not alone as I wrapped my arms around her.] Bella, no… @PurebredMthrFkr

Wrath: I could feel the walls closing in on me as the whole room was laced in tension. Not one person was speaking, and the only sound being the quiet stifle of tears coming from Bella. It was so quiet, I could hear the slow approach of Ehlena’s footsteps as she climbed the stairs to the office. Fuck! Swallow. The dryness of my throat caused everything to stick, as the lump just sat there, unmoving. My eyes drifted shut behind my wraparounds, waiting for Ehlena’s unsure pace to reach the door. Dearest Scribe, these nights were always easier when I had Beth to lie my head next to at the end of them.

Suddenly, Ehlena’s gait sped up and the door burst open. I could hear a small commotion as Ehlena rushed to Bella’s side. At her words, I cursed anyone she may have come in contact with that might have broken the news to her earlier. She didn’t need that kind of strain on her while she was trying to take care of patients. That was precisely why I had called for her to come here as soon as things were dwindling down for the night in the PT suite. It was also ritual. It was up to me and the Brothers to break the news. Show her that we all stood beside her, she wasn’t alone and all that shit. She was family, and that made this meeting so much more difficult.

I gently cleared my throat to get her attention. “Ehlena, please have a seat.” Waving at the other empty chair in front of my desk. @Banded_Warrior

Zsadist: Gripping Bella’s hand as if my life depended on it, I stood stoically behind her. Tonight, my place was not with my Brothers. It was by my shellan’s side. It was holding her up, when her heart felt like it was going to crumble up and die. Nothing could tear me away from her, not tonight. I don’t think she’s ever needed me more that she did this very night. Her sobs broke me, and as we sat waiting for Ehlena, every second just got worse. It was as if she were standing in line for the slaughter, and she knew it. She knew exactly what was coming and it killed me to know she would rather be anywhere but here. The finality of having the King declare Rehv dead was going to destroy her. All I could do was wait to be there to catch her.

The door flying open stole me from my transe, as Ehlena ran to Bella’s side. I let Bella’s hand slip from my own in greeting of Ehelna, and gently relocated it on her shoulder, instead. @BellaAhgony

Bella: *As I finally glanced up at Wrath, he had a frown and although I could not see his eye behind his wraparounds … he radiated sympathy and compassion. It was then that I felt the presence of all the males and females behind me. It was the Brotherhood. It was tradition that they come forward when someone went into the Fade. They had done once before for me. Almost a century ago … when Rehv had faked his death. Scribe, it was déjà vu. Almost. This time Zsadist had not waited to tell me with the others and I wasn’t alone in our mated chambers when I heard the knock.

He knew what this would do to me. The love of my life knew that I hearing this family tragedy, a second time … would break me. So, the male he is, came to me first so he could be there when I fell … to catch me. The tears started to fall again as I looked at all the faces around me. Viscous, Rhage, Payne … so many others have joined the noble ranks of the Brotherhood as many of the originals had joined the Fade. Phury, Qhuinn, Butch … Dearest Scribe … I hadn’t even contemplated if there were others that may have died tonight, in all of my selfishness.

But before I could ask Wrath … Elena burst into the room to give me a hug. A hug so tight I could hold her to me as well … knowing she was the reason I got to have my brother for the last century. He lived for her and her alone. She gave him back to so that my children could know their uncle. I could never repay her for that. I needed to be strong for her. We needed to be strong for Rehv. I could even hear his voice gently scolding me for crying and not being his “big girl”.* @EternalEhlena

Ehlena: [I held onto Bella ignoring all in the room, her grief and sadness surrounded me making me hold onto her tighter than before. I found myself whispering I'm sorry over and over again. It made sense to me now as to why they wanted me here. She didn't need to go through this by herself and I would not let her.

Hearing Wrath’s words I raised my head to turn and look at him. I had forgotten that there was to be the 'official’ thing to do. I pulled back from Bella a hand taking the one closest to the chair in mine as I rose to move to it. It was then that I caught sight of the Brotherhood behind her their faces said it all. They didn't want to be here any more than the ones who were getting the news, but it had to be done. My heart hurt for the female who had so quickly become my family all because of her brother. His interesting ways of courtship had won me over easily enough. Those days may have been long past but still he had continued to find ways to have me fall in love with him more and more.

Sitting barely on the chair my focus not even being on anything else I wondered why he was not here, or as I finally realized there was a male very close to Bella… It did not take a genius to know that it was Z standing there giving all the support he had left to his mate as she still continued to have tears falling.] Dear Scribe no. [I wasn't sure if I had spoken aloud or just to myself as each little piece fit together. The odd feeling I had in my chest before all the wounded started pilling in, my being called here, and Bella with Z having already seated in this study. My mind refused to believe and mine own body went stiff. Bringing my attention back to Wrath I shook my head once.] Don't. Don't you dare

[I would not be able to bear the thought of him speaking my Hellren’s name telling me he went down in this battle. Automatically I put myself back to when his club was destroyed, him faking his own death and going to the colony. The speed in which my own heartbeat picked up and pounding in my ears. This couldn't be happening not again not this time. No Scribe my male had to be here and alive waiting for me.] @PurebredMthrFkr

Wrath: I felt the reprimand in Ehlena’s voice, and the guilt of sending Rehv to his death slammed into my chest. I had done this. If it weren’t for my decisions, no one would have gone out tonight, no one would have died tonight, and I wouldn’t be standing here, in my office, getting ready to tell over a half a dozen families that their loved ones weren’t coming home tonight. That was my own demon to face though, and now was not the time. This night was about these families.

Clearing my throat one more time, I raised my head. Please Beth, stand beside me tonight. I need your strength. “Bella, Ehlena, it is with great sadness that I have to tell you that your brother, and hellren, Rehvenge, King of the Sympaths, has passed unto the Fade. It has been a privilege to have him fight alongside us, to have him as a friend, and as a part of our family. He will be forever honored as a part of the Brotherhood’s history, and as each one of us stand here today,” I waved my hand around the room to point out the Brotherhood, “know that you do not stand alone in his loss and your grief.” I stopped for a moment hating that this whole thing seemed so official. I was never one that enjoyed the ceremonial part of my job. I raised my wraparounds and rubbed my eyes for a second, before returning them to their place. “On a side note, Rehv was loved by us all. We will all be eternally grateful for his sacrifice, and I’m so sorry.” I heard a small gasp come from a few of the newer Brothers. The King was never supposed to say he was sorry. But, this was family, and I was sorry. My voice quieted, “I’m going to miss him.” At that I stopped. I wasn’t sure what else to say. Yeah, Rehv and I had had our differences, but at the end of the day, the male was family, and I was never good at doing this when it came to family. @Banded_Warrior

Zsadist: The look on Ehlena’s face as she noticed me standing behind Bella, said everything. She thought she was here for moral support for Bella. She thought I had not made it back from tonight’s mission and that she had been called in to stand beside Bella as she was given the news. It only took her a split second of confusion when she looked at me, before I saw the understanding of reality wash across her face. A lot of people would say I had no heart to speak of, but I did, and it was days like this that I wished they were right. As Ehlena’s gaze moved to Wrath’s, my jaw clenched and I stoically moved my own gaze to stare at some distant spot on the wall, over Wrath’s shoulder.

My hands still rested on Bella’s shoulders, I listened impassively as Wrath went through his spiel. I could feel Bella’s shoulders tense at times, and as they did, I squeezed slightly to let her know I was right behind her. My attention may not have been on every word coming out of Wrath’s mouth, but I felt every shift in Bella’s body. @BellaAhgony

Bella: *It took a few minutes before I realized that Ehlena misunderstood the situation. When she looked around the room and her eyes landed on Zsadist and all her coloring drained from her face … I knew. She had thought that it was Zsadist who had gone to the Fade. Not my dear brother.

As her arms loosened from the reality of the situation, I instead put my arms around her and leaned into her chair as she began to break down. Her body was trembling that I don’t even know if she even noticed. She sat silently as Wrath gave his speech. He words were heavy with heartfelt compassion, regret and even a tinge of guilt. It was no more his fault than my own. We all knew the dangers that had befallen Caldwell with this new enemy.

I rubbed my hand down Ehlena’s back to try to comfort her the best I could … I knew though that it wasn’t enough. It would never be enough. I had been here before with Rehv and knowing as his shellan her heart was breaking even more than mine. Yes, I may have known Rehv longer, but she had his heart and soul.* @EternalEhlena

Ehlena: [The moment he used Rehv’s full name I lost it even more, shoulders shaking as my own cries blocked out everything else. How was I supposed to focus when the hole in my heart grew by leaps and bounds. My male, my love we had talked and made plans on where we would be going from here after he had come home. In his mind he knew that this would have been successful there was no other option for him.

The word sorry broke through as I had fought for a breath, my world was spinning and I knew that Wrath meant it. You could hear everything in that one word. I tried to not be, but I was angry at him. At Rehv, and every fighter who was supposed to be there. Even the female they went after. Because of them all I was going to have to raise my young alone. At this moment it mattered little to me that they all were aware of the risks. This was my Hellren we were having this show over.

The silence was deafening and slowly I managed to raise my head. Looking to our King through blurry reddened eyes I had a question, one I knew he would understand more than Bella.] How, how do you manage to keep going on? [I knew I needed to, for my young but right now I just could not figure out how.] @PurebredMthrFkr

Wrath: Swallowing back the lump in my throat, I didn’t have much of an answer for Ehlena. “Honestly, I don’t have a very good answer for that. I haven’t done much of a bang up job in that department.” I thought back to the conversation I had with Bitty a few hours earlier. “Moment by moment?” It was definitely a question, not a statement. Day by day never seemed to work for me, at least not in the beginning. It always seemed way too fucking long of a wait to get to the end of them.

The other thing that wasn’t lost on me was the ever-so-slight sharpness to her tone. Her anger was seeping through with the nearly inaudible inflection to her voice. Not that I blamed her for it. Shit! She had every right. That was what, step one of grief, or maybe it was two? Mary told them all to me once, but I can never remember their order. Not to mention the fact that, hello? Big fucking bonehead over here was the one that sent her hellren straight to his death. No wonder at all that she’s feeling a little twitchy toward me.

Fuck! I hated these things. I did send him to his death. I closed my eyes behind my dark wraparounds and took a deep breath. How was I going to move forward? Continue sending all these warriors off to die? How many had we lost already? How many more did we need to lose before something gave? How many more times was I going to send someone to their death before this whole war was going to turn around for us? Would it turn around for us? What other option did I have? It wasn’t like we could run. Where would we go? And what exactly would that accomplish, anyway? At least now we had Lyric. The Omega couldn’t continue to build up his army without her. So, there was that.

But, I was getting off on a tangent inside my own mind. This meeting wasn’t about me and my own shortcomings. I would have to deal with those later. This was about Ehlena and Bella. “All I can tell you is we,” once again motioning to the Brotherhood, “will be here for whatever you need, and I don’t care if it’s 2 in the afternoon and you need someone to beat the shit out of, we will be there.” Clearing my throat, I jumped back into the technicalities of the meeting, “As for any legal issues that you should need handled, Nalla, Saxton, and I will take care of them for you. We will also cover any and all costs of the Fade ceremony. Moving forward, Ehlena, Bella, you are family. Anything you need, please, come to me.” @BellaAhgony

Bella: *I nodded and hugged Ehlena tighter.* All of us have lost someone this past century. We all feel the loss as if they were our own, Ehlena. We can only pray that they are happier and connected with other lost members in The Fade. Rehv would have wanted us to be strong and not drown in sadness and guilt. He loved you so much and wouldn’t want you to dwell in the “what if”.

*Though I heard myself speak the words, I wondered if I believed them. All I could feel was my grief and heartache. But I needed to be strong for Ehlena, as a hellren is the heart of all shellans.* Do you need Z and I to help you break the news to the kids? We can be there with you every step of the way. Whatever you need. Nalla already knows as she was with me earlier.

*I took the tissues that Zsadist handed me and gave them to Ehlena and waiting patiently as she composed herself. She looked so lost … very much how I felt but I knew we would get through this. I put my hand over Z’s on my shoulder and squeezed his hand and he reassuringly squeezed back.* @EternalEhlena

Ehlena: [There were no more tears left to fall, it didn’t matter if I was wanting to cry again. I knew that Wrath was trying and I could feel the fact that he was struggling with this as well. I did not want to be in his shoes as he had to go through telling anyone else left the same news I had just received. Bringing a hand up to wipe what water that was left on my face, knowing it did nothing to help me as it was. Moment by moment. That might be something easily enough to do. For now I had to focus on my young, they were expecting to see their father here soon before the night ended.

I took the offered tissues, using them to help clean what a mess I must have looked like. Taking a breath I shook my head, wanting to clear all the negative thoughts that were floating around inside of it. Rehv was gone, he knew the risks. While the end result was the worst for his family, he went out in a way that was kind of fitting for him. Fighting, for what he felt was right and helping a Chosen that was needing to be brought back. I felt bad for not yet asking about her, I hoped she was at least now back where she was supposed to be.]

Wrath, you have done all that was asked of you, my Hellen knew what he was getting into when he agreed to go on this mission. He did keep his word of returning, even if I have to prepare a Fade Ceremony for him. I do appreciate the offer of help and will be needing it I think. [Pausing I took another breath and looked to Bella.] I think it is best that I be the one to tell them, but please stay around in case I may need you. [This was not going to be easy, and it was now just the beginning of where my family would be going from here.]

[marytohrture]

Memories Forgotten Resurfacing

Lyric: In the past few days, I had been poked, prodded, and had enough wires attached to me to light up a nuclear power plant. These people kept telling me I was not their prisoner, that I was their long lost family member, however I wasn’t allowed free reign anywhere in the facility. They tried to tell me it was for my own good, they needed me to stay in this “hospital room” so they could observe me until they were sure I was okay. Okay? What the hell were they talking about? They were the ones that abducted me from my home! They were the ones that manhandled me and knocked me out! These people were not my family. I had never seen any one of them before in my life. These people were strangers to me. And why the hell did they keep calling me Lyric?!

This evening was apparently different. After I was finished with my meal one of the larger males had come down and was talking about getting me out of my room for a bit. With serious trepidation, I agreed, if for nothing else, to get another look at some of the building they were keeping me. The one time I had escaped, I only got a look at a very long hallway, and giant weight room. I wanted to scope out a little bit more of the place.

I don’t know if I had ever seen a larger ego in a person before. The male that escorted me around was so full of himself, I was sure he believed with all his heart that his shit never stank a day in his life. Idiot! Cracking jokes the whole way. I was only half paying attention. I was more interested in where we had been, where we were going, and how we were getting there. I was trying to map this whole place out in my mind. Unfortunately, we didn’t go all that far. He opened up a door off the main hallway and waved me in. It seemed to be an office of sorts. A couch, a couple of chairs, and a desk occupied by a fairly young female. Interesting … how many human pets did these people have?

The male walked in and gave the female a kiss. “I’ll be outside if you need me.” Then I watched as he took his leave and shut me in with her. Moving my gaze back to her, I lifted my chin, unsure of exactly what was coming next.

Mary: [Rhage was nervous leaving me with Lyric, not knowing exactly what she would do. She had no recollection of any of us so it’s not like she remembered that I was her aunt. I very slowly came around the desk and sat in the chair next to her so that we were on the same level. It seemed appropriate since I am human, for all extensive purposes, and being seated at the desk would give a false dynamic.]

I know this is all very strange. I can’t even imagin what you are feeling right now. So I suppose I should start from the beginning and tell you what we know and try to fill in some of the blanks.

As you may or may not know, by leave of 'The Creator', has two children. The Scribe Virgin was granted the ability to perform a single act of creation (birthing life from cosmic spiritual energy), which she expended to bring the Vampires into existence. But there is a yin to her yang. A malevolent, mystical figure who has targeted the Vampires for extinction out of resentment directed toward The Scribe Virgin. The Omega, he exists in a non-temporal realm and has extensive powers, though not the power of creation (he can do so with flesh, but not with spiritual energy). He created the lessers and kidnapped you and has kept you prisoner all these years.

You are at the Brotherhood compound. You were born here at the Manse, to the Chosen Layla and the Brother Qhuinn of Lohstrong, over 94 years ago. One night, your parents along with another Brother Phury were transporting you and were ambushed by lessers and you were taken from us and they were all killed.

[I watched as curiosity, morphed into surprise and a flicker of anger. I doubt she would believe me. She didn’t /just/ have a case for Stockholm syndrome. This was completely different. Because she was kidnapped as a toddler she would have have absolutely no memories … at least I don’t think. I probably should have asked Rhage and Wrath about that.]

There’s more … [I waited as you digested the first set of information.] You have a twin brother.

Lyric: Pacing across the room, I abruptly accused this female, “Lies! All lies!” She was trying to fill my head with the foulest of lies. The Omega has fought tooth and nail for everything he’s ever had. It was not his fault that “The Creator” favored his sister. He had been treated like the shit scraped off the bottom of a shoe all his existence. He has only ever tried to earn his due. Not to mention this whole suggestion of me being the offspring of a lesser race! How could she insinuate that I was one of them?! One of The Scribe Virgin’s creations? I was so much more than that. I was The Omega’s only living heir. There had only been one before me. But, I was the mother of The Omega’s young, the queen of his race. There was no way I would believe one word coming out of this human’s mouth.

Taking a seat in front of the female, I leaned back with my arms crossed, and went on, “If this is your way of trying to get me to turn on my maker, you’ve got the wrong person. I know exactly who I am, who I am not, and where I belong… and that is not here.” A twin brother! Pfft! Nice try. The only brother I had was The Omega’s other heir, and he was long since dead. From what I had been told, he had been ignorant and greedy. I wasn’t a sucker. My creator had many flaws, one of them being his capricious behavior with all other people. Somehow, I had managed to outlive everyone else, so I knew I was special. Trying to make me think otherwise was a fool’s errand.

Mary: [I knew she suffered from an acute case of Stockholm syndrome, a version of it so I came prepared.]

You remember what you looked like when you were little yes? [I signed in relief as she nodded as it would solidify the next part of my plan. I went to the box and got out Layla’s meticulous timelined photo album and handed it to her.] Here.

[I watched as doubted whatever I gave her and the preceded to open up the cover and viewed its contents. I knew each page by heart. All the shellans did, when we got together we would sit with Rhampage and view all the pages of the album to make sure he would always remember his twin sister and his parents. Blay always made sure to go through it at least once a week. I kept the sob that was threatening to release at the his recent death and tried to focus at the task at hand.

I knew it wasn’t enough, she would accuse us of doctoring the photos so … I took out my cell phone and showed her a few videos knowing that there was no way for us to doctor those through growth unless we really had video footage. Apparently, she never seen herself in video form. Guess the Omega wasn’t keen on much technology.]

Lyric: As she pushed the tome across the table, I tried hard to hide the trepidation in my soul. What trick did this human think she was going to pull? There was nothing this female could show me that would change what I knew in my gut. Yet, curiosity tugged at my conscious and I reached out to pull it in front of me, anyway. As I ran my hands gently over the cover, a sense of unease tingled up my spine and I almost didn’t open it. Then I remembered, there was nothing this female could say, do, or show me that could weaken my resolve in who I was, and I threw open the lid of the codex.

I was not prepared for what I saw, nor the emotions it unearthed. There were what appeared to be pictures of myself, with numerous people, one of which was the female sitting across from me. But the one that captured my interest was one where I was seated on the lap of the most beautiful female. She had mine own lips. With her was a male, whose eye, I swore were like looking in a mirror. I reached forward with one finger to caress the photo, before slamming the cover back onto it. “Lies! More Lies! I don’t know how you did it, but these are not real.” They couldn’t be. It couldn’t be me. I was His. I belonged to Him.

Then she pushed something else across the table at me. I had never seen anything like it. It had moving images on it… only on one side, though. The other side was plain. Flipping it back over I watched in horror as this little being, that looked just like me, danced and played and hugged and ran … with all the people in the pictures. I could feel agitation bubbling up inside me. Confusion, dismay, ire … all at once it slammed into me. This was all so wrong! I flung the thing across the room and into the wall, shattering its face, but it still taunted me with those visions.

Turning back to the female sitting across from me, I hissed out. “I don’t know what you are trying to do, but it’s not going to work.” Then it hit me. They think if they can make me believe I belong with them, that it will make me turn on my true sire. Interesting tactics in torture. They somehow think I know something that will help them in their quest to stop him. Well, the laugh’s on them. My master is smarter than that. He doesn’t give away those secrets to anyone. “I will never turn on Him. You will have to try much harder than that,” I nodded to the collection of pictures in front of me and pushed it across the table at the female, “to get me to talk.”

Mary: [Great, now Rhage will need to buy me a new iPhone but I inwardly grinned knowing he’d be happy to knowing he could throw Apple into #Vishous’s face although Blackberry has been obsolete for a few years now.

I remained seated and did not react to her temper tantrum as she spewed her hate. I knew this wouldn’t be easy. It's been decades since she was stolen from us when we thought she was dead.]

Lyric, we are not asking you to do anything. Especially right now. We are just trying to explain our side of this story and why you are here now. To show you how much we care and love you. We don’t want you to have to turn on anyone. [I was interrupted when I heard a knock at the door. Getting up and opening it, I see @BellaAhgony in the hall with the few things I texted her to bring to me. #Rhage still at the ready standing next to her. Gathering the things, I thanked her and smiled at #Rhage and closed the door again.

I sat back down and picked up Lyric’s old baby blanket, two stuffed dragons, one with a missing eye and one with some patches and some well loved books from the basket and placed them on the table. She eyed them warily and slowly reached for the stuffed dragon. I hoped it will help trigger any memories of her twin brother #Rhampage and how they use to each have the same set.]

Lyric: How could this human think I would believe anything she said to me? I had been accosted and ripped from my home by /her/ people! Now, they were trying to make me believe I belonged to them? I belonged to the Omega, not these vampires and their human pets! There was nothing they could say or do to change my mind. I was the Omega’s chosen one. That was what I was called as a young, “The Chosen.” When I was finally given a name, it was Leda, meaning mother. His followers always told me, I was born to be their mother. I was chosen to be their mother. I was His, and only His. Everything I knew about myself was connected to Him.

Then there was that name again. “Lyric.” That name meant nothing to me. But, I let them continue to use it. I would not give them my real name. They didn’t deserve to know it.

Suddenly, there was a rap on the door and I whipped my head around, waiting for some kind of attack. But, it was only another female, with an armful of items I was sure were supposed to bring back old, buried feelings of some sort, or at least I’m sure that was what the human was expecting.

I watched as the human laid out the items in front of me, some sort of rag, more tomes… that couldn’t have anything in them, as they had but only a few pages, and a couple of ... strange, fake ... dragons? Is that what those are supposed to be? I picked one up, because I wasn’t sure. It was so tattered and beat up, I had to look close. I twisted it around in my hands as the scent of it wafted into my nose. Another barrage of emotions washed over me. Feelings I didn’t understand, that I didn’t remember ever feeling before, ones that brought a tear to my eye, and not because I was hurt so badly that they wouldn’t stop flowing, but for some other, strange reason. Looking down, I caught the symbol of an “R” on the tag of the little fake dragon and promptly tore it’s head off.

Raising my ferocious gaze to meet the human’s, I held back my rage, and firmly responded, “I. Am. Done. Here.” each word dripping with the disdain for this whole conversation. “Bring me back to my room. Now!”

Mary: [Good Lord, she was stubborn which only made me smile. She was this way when she was a toddler as well … takes after Qhuinn, bless his soul. I wish he and Layla were here with us. And now Blay. I felt a pang in my heart knowing the we lost him rescuing her. We couldn’t stop him knowing he would be her only parent left. He refused to be on the sidelines. He help hope for so many years that Lyric was still alive and well … along with #Qhuinn. He had been a shell of a male when they went missing.

I gathered up the albums, and toys knowing #Fred could fix up the dragon stuffed toy for her and placed them back in the basket. I would have the doggen out them in her room to allow her to reacquaint herself with her past. This was going to take some time I knew that … but it still felt great to have her home again even if she hated all of us.

I went back to the door and saw my hellren standing there. He knew what had been going on, vampire hearing and all, so he gave me a great big hug and kissed me on the lips and then on the sides of my neck. Though he could not feed from me to survive, he still showed the very romantic vampiric gesture.]

She wants to go back to her room. [I told him and he nodded, ushered me through the door and closed it behind me.]

“Don’t feel bad … we all knew that this would be another battle for us to overcome. You’re doing great Mary.” [He picked up the stuffed dragon he had given the twins when they were just a few months old, now missing his head and I could feel him hurting inside. Placing my hand over his heart I hugged him tight against me. Hoping everything would be ok.]

Lyric: The female left the room and took all her little tools of mental destruction with her … finally. Did they really think a few pictures and some kind of mini fake dragon would be my undoing? Not likely! I was not this Lyric person they kept telling me I was. I was Leda, mother and queen of my race, heir to the Omega. I was not one of them. I did not belong to the enemy. These vampires slaughtered my young! I was at war with these monsters, and now they have kidnapped me from my home. Thank the Omega, they had no idea who I really was. I would probably be tortured and killed. Then again, I’m sure once they realize this nice guy routine isn’t going to work, they will probably result to torture. But, that’s okay. My master has made sure I was able to deal with that. It was in my upbringing. Every time I did something wrong, I was punished severely for it. It strengthened me, gave me power, power to live through anything. This would be just one more thing to live through. He would come for me soon. I just had to hold out.

[bellaahgony]

Hopes

*Over the years it has been getting harder and harder to survive the tragedies that have befallen the Brotherhood Compound. With the loss of Tohr, Butch, Qhuinn, Layla and even Phury … it was getting harder and harder to keep moving on as I watched Zsadist spirling into an emotional abyss. Eyes as black as coal seem to make more of appearance then his beautiful canary yellow.

The death of Beth was hard for everyone. Especially Zsadist, I knew he blamed himself. We all knew it was the fault of the Omega but he wouldn’t hear reason. He had become so distant as of late, working out at the gym, patrolling or teaching classes. I barely ever saw him except sometimes during meals and during the day … though I knew he barely slept.

He hadn’t talked to Mary in so long … he has been keeping it all bottled up inside I could see the storm brewing. Without his brother … I wasn’t sure what outlet, if any, he was using. I knew that it was only a matter of time before something unholy was unleashed and I could only pray that it would during a battle and wouldn’t destroy the male I loved.

Over the many years, the shellans in the household were training with #Xhex and #Payne in order to protect ourselves and the children if the need should ever arise. After the first death so many years ago … we knew that no where was safe. We all had to protect ourselves while the Brothers and the soldiers protected the race and the King. We all had a part in this war. Some more so than others. So much pain, so much loss … we were all trying to survive and move forward.

Every few nights, when off from #SafePlace and when my hellren was on patrol. Myself and a few others practiced at the shooting range and went through drill after drill with various weapons to hone our skills sometimes sparring with the trainees demonstrating our own skills of combat. All in hopes of ending this war and being free.

[marytohrture]

An Honest Day’s Work

Written with @GraceOfAPhoenix.

Bennu: There were days when my job was just one of the most satisfying things I could ever do. Today had started out as one of those days. When I first arrived, I found out that one of our long-time residents, Natalie, had gotten the job we had set her up for and she and her daughter were going to be able to move into their own place.

She had come so amazingly far from when she first arrived. She and her 7-year-old daughter had been beaten severely. Actually, she almost didn’t make it. She had been left for dead. It was a miracle that Havers had been able to bring her back. When Havers had been called by their neighbor, Natalie wasn’t even breathing. Half a dozen surgeries later, between the two of them, and they wound up here, on our doorstep.

It’s been a little over ten months since then and they have both been put through the wringer. There is no reason in this world why a 7-year-old child should have to endure the things she has, let alone what Natalie has been through. Natalie’s cousin came into town from Wyoming to retaliate against the husband, and from what I hear, the husband never had a chance. Unfortunately, the cousin couldn’t stay, which made it harder on Natalie and her young, and why they ended up here. But this evening, she was offered a brand new job and handed the keys to their very own apartment. They had been given a whole new lease on life, and after all the time I had spent with the two of them, I knew they were going to make the most of it.

Strolling into Mary’s office, I couldn’t have been happier for Natalie and her young. However, the reason I was in Mary’s office was that we had a new resident. She had been at the house for a little over a month and already had some intense counseling. Now, it was time for her to start the physical rehabilitation that I could offer. It would be slow to start. Once a week, and depending on how she reacted, it would be as short as 10 minutes to as long as one hour. There was a lot to what I did and each person reacts differently. Most here, at the home, have been severely abused and can’t handle touch in the beginning, so we start off gradually. Sometimes, we don’t even start with a massage and just spend time talking, whatever is going to be best for the client.

I took a seat across from Mary, ready to hear about this new resident. I had seen her around but didn’t know much about her backstory.

Mary: [With everything that has been going on at the manse, I had barely any time to spend at Safe Place. But over the decades we have expanded and we're able to hire more managers to keep up with the day to day activities while Marissa, Bella and I dealt with more family and just the payroll and any big decisions with the Safe Place as of late. I wanted to take my mind off Bitty and Lyric so I decided to head back to work and get some updates on the residents and the employees.

Rhym, our full-time general manager, spent the last few hours updating me on various projects, residents and other daily activities that have been going on in the past few months. I was very proud and relieved at how well everything was running while the shellans and I took a step back for a bit. She was just telling me about Natalie and her accomplishments that I wanted to meet with Bennu to get to know her thoughts on Natalie and her transition being on her own. Getting the information from the intake coordinator. Bennu arrived in good spirits as she sat across from me.]

Hey Bennu, how it going? Rhym just told me about Natalie. Tell me more [I asked.]

Bennu: Sitting across from Mary, I always had a strong sense of calm. She was one of those people that could put you at ease without uttering a word. I think it was partially due to her training, but also greatly due to her character. She just had a reassuring sense about her. It was a quality that couldn’t be learned in a classroom. It was something ingrained and Mary had it in spades. I believe it’s one of the reasons this place did so well.

“Natalie has done amazing! I helped her into her place this evening. I know it’s not really part of my job, but I’ve worked so closely with her and her daughter in the past few months that I really wanted to be there, for them, for this. It’s just a small, one-bedroom and Natalie will sleep on the pull-out sofa. But, the sparkle in that little girl’s eyes when she saw all the toys that had been collected just for her... “ Tears welled in my eyes as I remembered. “She was beside herself.”

I continued, “For now, we got her a dishwashing job at Sal’s. That way, even though her hellren is gone, she can feel safe in knowing that she is well protected. Her daughter will still come here in the evenings, while Natalie is working, and become a member of our daycare program, so again, peace of mind for the two of them.

“I know it will take a little time, but they are going to be alright, out there, in the world. Natalie even has plans of taking some night classes in law.”

These were the best conversations, the ones that spoke about females that had been through the program and were moving on.

I shifted in my seat a little and sat straighter, “So… tell me of our newest resident. I hear she is ready to start work with me.”

Mary: [I listen with a smile as she animatedly tells me about Natalie and her progress. She was quite proud and she should be. She did a great job and I was impressed with the progress of our resident. I felt more comfortable knowing her experience with Natalie that she would do well with our latest new resident.]

Honestly, I’m not sure /she/ feels ready but I feel that without going forward and start getting her life together that all of her confidence she built to get out of her situation for herself and her young sons will disappear. Her name is Deanne came to us from #Havers after he set the younger son’s arm from a fracture but he noticed from the x-ray that there had been several healed breaks. One of the nurses took notice of how many times she came in for herself or for her sons and finally convinced her to come to us. So, the Brothers that are not on rotation or on duty at the Audience house are on alert, just in case, her hellren shows up. We also have them staying in the Wellessandra wing underground.]

Bennu: I listened intently to all the details about Deanne and her family. The ones that are reluctant to come to us are usually the ones that it takes the longest to get through to. It sounds as if she will be no exception to this rule. Young are more resilient, though. So, maybe it will be easier to get through to the boys. Time will tell.

“Well, sounds like I should start them off as a group. I’ll have to go slowly with her. It sounds as if both trust and touch will be difficult for her for a while, and that’s okay. If I have to start off with just talk, I can do that.” I picked up the file on Mary’s desk and quickly flipped through it. “Her story sounds a little like Tanya’s. However, we didn’t have to worry about Tanya’s hellren coming around for long.” We all knew how Tanya’s hellren’s story went. After Tanya’s sire got finished with him. His family was so ashamed of him, they shipped him back to the old country. “With the concern of Deanne’s hellren coming around, it is going to make it that much more difficult for them to feel in control. Hopefully, I can help them out with that.”

It wasn’t really my place, to suggest things outside of my purview, but I had picked up quite a bit of training while working at Safe Place and I felt comfortable speaking up with Mary. “I know it’s not my place, but I wonder if we shouldn’t start Deanne off sooner, rather than later, with some self defense training? It will go a long way with her self-worth and might give her that sense of control she is probably desperately seeking. Not to mention the effect it will have on her boys to see their mahmen start feeling like she can take charge of her life a little more.” Dipping my head in reverence, something long since ingrained in me from my years as a Chosen, I added, “Of course, you would know way better than me about that type of stuff.”

Mary: [Listening to Bennu’s plan, I learned more and more how detail oriented she was and it was a sound plan for Deanne. Her thoughts on the timeline were succinct and thoughtful observation.]

Yes, I think it is a great idea. Let’s start her off sooner rather than later, have her take control of something in her life and build her confidence. She needs to feel that she’s strong and that will help her boys know that everything will be ok.

You’re doing a great job and I appreciate your dedication for your work. When do you think you can start with Deanne?

Bennu: I was always filled with such pride when Mary thought that one of my suggestions on something outside of my own scope of work was worth putting into play. I had been doing massage for so many years that I felt more than comfortable with my knowledge on the subject. I also kept up with my continuing education, constantly learning more and more about my field of choice. But, when it came to the inner workings of other parts of Safe Place, I sometimes felt like it wasn’t my place to speak up. So, when I did and it was taken seriously, it made me feel all the more that I was in the right place.

I bowed my head once more, in respect of the compliment. “Thank you. It is an honor to be able to do what I do.”

Pulling up my iPad and turning it on, I scrolled through my schedule. “Why don’t we schedule something for the beginning of next week, maybe Monday or Tuesday? I have a 9 pm spot on Monday or a 10 pm spot on Tuesday. Let’s make sure to schedule them all together. I’ll bring in the chair and if they feel up to it, we’ll start with that. Otherwise, I will just explain the process to them and we can go from there.”

Mary: Sounds great, let's do Tuesday to give her a few days to get used to everything around here and meet the other residents and then start with your plans. [She had a good head on her shoulders so I knew that Deanne was in good hands. I could go back and concentrate on things at home now that #SafePlace was running like a well oiled machine with #Rhym and Bennu while the rest of us could focus on home right now. Rhage needed me, after all that has happened with the rescue and now Bitty. We needed each other more than anything. It was so hard to focus and be here that I knew I needed to leave it to Rhym and Bennu to handle #SafePlace.]

You have my cell phone. Let me know if you need anything from me.

Bennu: I nodded as I wrote Deanne and her sons in for the 10 pm spot on Tuesday. I was looking forward to getting to know her and the boys and setting up a plan tailor made for them. Each client at Safe Place was different, with different needs. I could already tell that Deanne was going to need a lot of patience, which I was happy to give. A lot of clients here needed patience. I was curious about the boys. I wondered where they were at in the process and how much they had been affected by everything that had happened. Apparently, broken bones for the youngest had been commonplace. Oftentimes the stories behind the why of how these female and young came to be here infuriated me. This story was no exception.

Placing Deanne’s file back on Mary’s desk, I stood up. “Thank you for your time, Mary. I have scheduled Deanne and the boys in for Tuesday at 10 pm. I will let you know if I need anything else.” Offering a sincere smile, I turned and left, ready to put the day behind me a start anew tomorrow.

[immortalsinnersbdb]

Solo

Written by @ChosenDarkened on 01/09/2020.

I hear a scream that causes the room to shake. What now? I wait in the dark, listening to the steps i hear coming down the hall. I really hate the dark, he's kept me in it for too long. Empty promises, betrayals, fear. A lessor comes in, says the Source is gone... My daughter is no longer here, she's free. I sense it in my soul. It's time. 

---------------------- 

I trip the lessor and run out the door as fast as I can. I'm not sure where to go exactly but I must find an opening. There's stairs, I climb and, dear Scribe Virgin, a window! It takes more energy to open the window then I have but I won't stop for anything. That ember of hope I've kept alive for so long is burning brighter than ever. The darkness will not win! *pop* *squeak* it opens just a bit. I close my eyes and focus... I open my eyes and I'm standing in front of the Audience House. I let go of the breath I was holding and a smile forms. I climb the stairs and ring the bell with shaky hands. The door opens, a shocked face stares at me.... "Hello" I whisper. The tears begin to fall. I am home.

[bellaahgony]

Checking Up on Mahmen

Co-written with @HisLeelanNalla.

Nalla: *I wake up after I don’t know how long, feeling rested enough to get on with things. But before I go back to Uncle Wrath’s office to try to dive into paperwork again, I need to check up on my family. I slide out of bed, being careful not to wake up my sleeping hellren as I disentangle myself from him. I shower quickly and dress, then go down the hall to my parents’ suite and knock on the door softly.* Mahmen? Are you awake? @BellaAhgony

Bella: *It was getting a little harder for me to wake up in the mornings these last few days. I’m dreaming about my childhood growing up with Rehv and remember all the good times we had. He had always been there for me, from the time I could walk, when I scraped my knee, falling off my bike, to my first crush, then my first breakup. I shook my head laughing at that last one. Oh man, were the parents of that male furious when he came home with a broken arm. 

A knock at the door, breaking my daydreaming as I got up from the bed wearing a t-shirt and some yoga pants. #Zsadist had already been up and showered as it seems if the indication of the warm mist in the room was evident. Opening the door, I find my daughter.* Hey, Nalla.

Nalla: *I hadn’t seen my mahmen since Dad had taken her out of the Clinic just after he’d told us about Uncle Rehv. She looked a little pale and worn out, though I knew Dad had to have been trying to make sure she ate and took care of herself, like LW had been doing with me. I open my mouth to say something, but as grief rears up to choke me, I find myself stepping forward and just wrapping Mahmen in a tight hug instead first. After a minute, I step back with a sniffle and give a watery smile.* Hi Mahmen. How are you holding up?

Bella: *I felt a little more energy seeing Nalla. I wanted to be more put together around her but as she came to me in a tight hug … I found myself tearing up slightly after having thought I had no more. 

After a few moments, she thoughtfully asked how I was feeling. How was I feeling? After spending decades with my brother and now having him gone … it was heartbreaking. I thought of Ehlena and how she must be feeling as well and knew that we weren’t alone in our grief.*

I’m feeling ok. It’s been hard … but it's that way for all of us. Come, let's go down to first meal with the family. It’s been a while.

Nalla: *I’m a little surprised by her suggestion at first, but then I realize how much sense it makes. I’d been thinking we might hang out in her and Dad’s suite for a while, talking or watching a movie or something, spending some time together just the two of us. But we’d just had our world seriously shaken up, and maybe doing something normal would help us regain our balance a bit. And surrounding ourselves with family, people who love us and have always been there for us will help too. I smile softly and kiss her cheek as I wrap an arm around her shoulder.* Great idea Mahmen! I wonder what the doggen have cooked today ...

Bella: I’m sure #Fred has something delicious prepared as always. I have to admit, having someone else cook for you is always better. I have to admit, I burned a few pans back in my day when I lived in my cottage across from your Aunt Mary. *I chuckled thinking about the phone calls from my big brother when the smoke alarm sounded and the idle threats to either come home back to his home or for him to send me a permanent doggen. I rolled my eyes at the age old arguments. Then, swallowed my tears knowing that I wouldn’t hear him yell at me anymore.*

Then, we can go see Aunt Ehlena and the cousins to see what needs to be done. Hmmm?

Nalla: *Smiles* And that’s why you never helped out when Auntie Beth managed to get around #Fritz to give us kids cooking lessons! *I wrap an arm around your waist when I see the sadness fall across your face again, knowing what you were thinking. No more nagging, overprotective big brother … no more Uncle Rehv.* Yeah, we should definitely go see Auntie Ehlena and her young. She and Maddy, especially, both have a lot resting on their shoulders right now… *I drop my arm as we walk through the door of the dining room and look around to see who else is there.*

Bella: *We were the first ones to arrive as the doggen set our the food on the tables and counters. They had prepared lamb with vegetables, @PurebredMthrFkr’s favorite. I hoped he would come down and dine with us. He’s been really preoccupied lately with all that’s been going on. I don’t blame him … and I hoped he didn’t blame himself either. The only one to blame was the #Omega. 

I grabbed a plate and started to place various dishes on my plate. I knew if I didn’t than #Zsadist would promptly do so, being the protective male that he is. I wonder what he was doing at the moment. As soon as I sat down at the table, I pulled out my phone and sent him a quick text about First Meal and that I missed him.*

Nalla: *I fill a plate and sit next to mahmen, noting that Dad and LW are both absent. I don’t know where Dad is, I didn’t hear him in the room when mahmen had opened the door-hopefully he’s following his son-in-law’s example and getting some rest. Goodness knows everyone could use a break around here! I decide that if LW doesn’t make it down here during the meal, I’ll make up a plate to take up to him. Try to make sure he eats something this evening - and maybe feeds too. Stubborn ass ... But in the meantime, I smile and chat with mahmen and everyone else that was there. 

Bella: *My plate is filled with all kinds of delicious food I’m sure the doggen have prepared … but I could not taste anything. I took a few bites and tries to avoid any conversations and just listened. I wasn’t sure where Zsadist was … but then again I’ve been in my own world the last few days. 

It was so difficult for me not to wallow in my heartbreak, I missed my brother. I tried to take a deep breath and concentrate on the conversations around me so I could avoid retreating into my thoughts again.

Nalla: *As I refill my plate, I notice that Mahmen isn’t really saying much. I look over and see that she has a thoughtful, kind of faraway look in her eyes. I know she’s got to be thinking of Uncle Rehv, as I am. How could she not be? Then she seems to snap out of it, looking around and seeming like she’s trying to focus on what’s going on around us. I reach out and squeeze her hand.* How are you doing, Mahmen?

Bella: *I squeeze Nalla’s hand in comfort.* I’m fine. *I lied and smiled and turned to pay more attention to Mary and Rhage’s conversation about what happened with Mary’s session with Lyric. I needed to try and focus on the present and with the people that I could help. I turned to Nalla with a sudden idea.* 

Nalla, you should visit with Lyric. You guys played together so much, almost 24/7, when you guys were little.  I know she will probably not remember you since she was a baby. *It was beyond a long shot since Lyric was so young but perhaps someone closer to her age would bring some kind of memory back.*

Nalla: *I can tell that mahmen is just BSing me when she says that she’s ok, but I let it go for now. Sometimes the comfort of a lie is all that gets you through, even if you know it’s a lie. “Fake it till you make it” and all that. I say nothing as she turns back towards Uncle Rhage and Auntie Mary, but then she turns back to me and blurts out an idea about me visiting with Lyric. 

“Hmmm … that’s an idea. I mean, I don’t know how much good it might do since like you said she probably doesn’t even remember me at all, but I’m happy to do whatever I can to help her. I’ll talk to Auntie Mary about it. 

Bella: Good. *I replied knowing it may be a lost cause but who knows … Scribe knows we could use more miracles after all the heartbreak. I thought back over the years with all the family has been through. All the losses and it made it hard to breathe. I picked up my plate and delivered it to the sink to the doggen’s dismay and excused myself and left the dining room to make my way through the foyer and out the vestibule doors. 

I needed to get fresh air and take steady breaths to prevent myself from breaking down. It’s been a long few nights and I knew it may just be the beginning with all the new changes coming. We all needed to be strong and pitch in.

Nalla: I watch as my mahmen leaves the table. I debate whether or not to follow her, but ultimately decide against it. We all have a lot of grief to process, and everyone deals with such things in their own way. I got her out of her room for a while, and I’ll consider that victory enough for now. Since LW still hasn’t made an appearance, I make up a plate to take up to our room for him, say goodbye to everyone that’s still there, and head out of the dining room and up the Grand Staircase. I’ve checked up on my mahmen, now it’s time to do the same for my hellren. Then, it’ll be time to head to Uncle Wrath’s office to (yet again) try to get some work done….