May 31, 2015
"After dentist" accent part 2. #afterdentist #wisdomtoothyoubitch #isoundstupid
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"After dentist" accent part 2. #afterdentist #wisdomtoothyoubitch #isoundstupid
I’m falling into that low point again. I try to keep telling myself everything will be okay. I wanna cry, but i never do anymore. So i just mope, and let everything bothering me eat away at me.
This is going to be the weirdest post ever but I think my butt has been shrinking and I'm actually very upset because it's the one thing I really like about myself and its time for Vball season and WHY LORD PLS NO I'm sorry if this is really weird or this makes you want to punch me in the face but..yeah
I've only ever given one girl the title of being my favorite. No matter what happens, I think she'll always be.
Bleh
I have finals and even though its 1:30 in the morning, I don't wanna sleep. These last two days are all I have with my friends . The reality sets in and then I feel like crap. Whatever I have to face it But still I never wanted to leave them.......
String theory= Strings exist My proof= look how it jiggles when i move it...
Long ass rant..I'm lame.
When something would bother me I would just be quiet and dwell on it myself and it worked, I cried a lot but it worked…then my idiotic boyfriend taught me how to be angry and to express it. Since then I’ve become such a negative and unhappy person to everyone and I forgot how to control my anger..now I just snap and lose it. I can’t take it anymore, I hate who I am and I can’t seem to find the old me..and as long as he’s in my life I don’t think I’ll ever be myself again. Although without him I’m so afraid that ill be even more alone than i already feel because everyone who said they’d be there moved on to better friends because I selfishly let them fall through the cracks, they were great people too..people I may never find again. Another problem is I’m just too damn self conscious to ask anyone to be there for me because I feel so pathetic asking for help.
Sometimes I just want to pop something to fix it all but I watched pills..drugs, tear my family apart years ago and shit’s still not the same. Sometimes I think about death but I’m too damn self aware of how much the people in your life suffer and dwell on death that I just couldnt do that to anybody. So, sadly I guess Tumblr’s become my best friend. “Someone” I can rely on to be there, “someone” I can rant and ramble to without judgement. Nobody may read this, maybe someone will and understand exactly how I feel, some may even think its pathetic to pour my heart out to strangers on a social network site but it’s saving my sanity
Here's to another restless night
I cant sleep or eat. I don't feel like myself. I wish I could go back to my normal routine to snap back to reality, but I can't. I'm afraid to sleep cause I don't want to go through the terrible feeling of waking up and having all my thoughts overwhelm me again.
I'm sorry if Ive been a downer lately btw, I promise I'm only like this on my blog. I release all my negative emotions on here so that I'm all happy and smiley in person. So I dont want anyone to think that I'm just an overdramatic depressing person, cause I'm really not. I'm really just a fun upbeat smiley asian girl that loves going on adventures and never stops smiling and laughing. :D