Can you solve the mystery of __________ on the outskirts of Penza?

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Can you solve the mystery of __________ on the outskirts of Penza?
hi i just read Stardust Family i need to give everyone a hug rn
my dear friend @flowcorex commissioned me few days ago and actually doesn't mind me posting this! ^_^
Finally got that game everyone's talking about, I don't get the hype tbh
tired of people claiming you "swear like a pirate" when they're obviously wrong? tired of not being told you swear like a pirate?
here's my swearing like a pirate guide:
verbs:
in the case of normal usage, ex. "fuck you", replace the swear with "curse" in the present tense and "cursed" in the past tense. replace you with "ye".
using as adjectives
replace "piece of shit", "shithead", "bitch", whatever you landlubbers use etc., with scallywag or scurvy dog. in the case of "you are fucked", reverse word order and do much as before with the verbs except "are" should be replaced with "be", for example: "you are fucked" becomes "cursed be ye"
exclaiming "what the fuck" (for example)
replace "the [expletive]", for example, "what the fuck", with "what on the seven seas?"
in case of dropping something on the floor
yell, "arrrrgh!!!". really get into those "r"s
[may not be historically accurate - that's okay I'm a modern pirate]
🤔🤔🤔
argent is one of the best bands
reading a fic where i'm like... this seems black widow inspired but there's not black widow plot elements