Everything else faded as Ichelle shoved two children into Feldspar's arms, only catching fragments of her explanation for why she'd brought them to his home in Mor Dhona to begin with. A Midlander woman's murder in the Brume. Two half-elezen children left behind, one girl, just over a turn old, and the other a boy, a newborn. Mercenary captured, true culprit still at large. They needed to keep the children out of Ishgard until she could guarantee their safety.
The bundle containing the newborn squirmed quietly in Feldspar's arms.
In Tailfeather they said Feldspar cried inconsolably for his entire first turn. Q'yantaa did her best. His every need was met. But he'd lost something that she couldn't give back, and all she could do was wait until he learned it, too. Eventually, he stopped crying. Not because he'd stopped mourning the absence, he knew, but because nothing he did seemed to make any difference.
What, then, did it mean that the children in his arms were silent, both half-asleep, one heavy on his hip and the other nestled into the crook of his arm, when they'd watched their own mother be murdered that very day? Perhaps it was simply a difference of temperament. Perhaps they hadn't realized yet that she was gone, that they would feel it on the morrow, when they'd gotten some proper sleep. Perhaps, he worried, they'd already learned their crying couldn't move the world, even before their mother had been taken from them. They were found in the Brume, after all.
Even as he slipped back into his old caretaking instincts, bouncing them both softly to keep them asleep as Fennie frantically sought out help and supplies in the middle of the night, Feldspar's hands trembled at the injustice of it all. He and Fennie would do their best. Their every need would be met. Certainly, whoever they ultimately ended up with would love them like their own, at least if Feldspar had any say in it.
He wished he didn't already know that it would never be enough.
hey so I had a prompt you can pick it up if you want if not that's cool too, but a modern elucien situation, and it's the memory loss trope... so the 1st time they fell in love, it was Lucien who pursued elain and elain was kinda skeptical, but now it's lucien with the memory loss and he has no idea who this woman is that's claiming to be his fiancée and just, ✨angst✨
It’s Only Temporary
Summary :: Elain gets a call, from the hospital, in the middle of the night, and learns that her fiancé has been in an accident.
Authors Notes :: This is a prompt ask from a looooooong time ago, and well, I’ve thought its time to get to it. So, modern AU, amnesia, where Lucien forgets Elain, after he was the one who initially started the relationship to begin with. Well, let’s do this. Anon, who requested this, I’m sorry to have kept you waiting, but, I’ve been wondering how to write this. And well, you want angst? Well, you got it.
The anon asked for angst. This is your only warning.
Word Count :: 5,797
Elain jolted awake, her phone blaring loudly. It wasn’t her mobile phone, it was the home phone. The home phone Lucien insisted on keeping in the room in case he got called into work.
They had had a very brief argument when he had put the phone in the room, because she didn’t need to wake up so early, especially as they were planning on starting a family. If he needed the sleep in case he got called into work, she would need the rest if he didn’t so she could have the energy for any kids. His counter argument was that they did not have kids yet, they would visit the conversation again when there were kids she would need to be awake for.
Elain had closed her eyes again, waiting for Lucien to pick up the phone, only he didn’t. The phone had stopped ringing, only to start again a minute later. Groaning, Elain pushed herself up on her elbows, and looked over, only to realize that her fiancé wasn’t in bed next to her. Tired and annoyed at the phone she didn’t want waking her up, she leaned over on Luciens side of the bed, and grabbed the the phone, picking it up off the receiver.
“Hello?” Elain spoke into the phone, unable to hide the fact that she was incredibly tired.
“Would this be Mrs. Vanserra? Wife of Lucien Vanserra?” Elain heard a professional voice through the phone, which caused all tiredness to leave her body and mind,
“Archeron. Elain Archeron. I’m still just his fiancé.” Elain found herself saying. “Who may I ask is calling?”
“I apologize Ms. Archeron. My name is Dr. Chambers, from Rainbow North Hospital. Is there a chance you could come in?” The doctor over the phone said.
Suddenly, Elain felt her heart stop. She felt like she couldn’t breath. She felt like there was ice sliding through her veins. “May I ask why I need to come in? It’s the middle of the night.”
“Your fiancé is here. He listed you as his emergency contact. I will explain more when you get here.” The doctor responded.
Feeling as though her world was coming apart, Elain nodded. It took her a moment before she realized that the doctor couldn’t see her through the phone
“Of course. I will be there as soon as I can.” Elain said, before hanging the phone up. It did take her a few moments before she could move enough to even push the blanket off of her.
She started to change her clothes, just putting on whatever she grabbed first, which happened to be sweatpants, and one of Luciens sweaters. As she had started changing, she grabbed her mobile phone, and dialled the phone number for Luciens brother. The calm one.
“Elain, hello. You’re up late.” She heard Eris say.
“Lucien’s in the hospital.” Elain blurted out, not finding it in her to quip back as she probably would, under normal circumstances.
“What do you mean?” Eris asked, as Elain finished changing, and picked up the phone.
“I just got off the phone with a doctor from Rainbow North. I didn’t want to call your mothers phone, and risk waking her up, or worse, your father, so I called you. I’m on my way to the hospital now. I didn’t think you’d answer on the first call though, and definitely not the first ring.” Elain explained. She took one look towards the surprise she had planned on giving Lucien the next morning, knowing he wouldn't be home before she fell asleep, she started walking down the stairs, turning lights off as she went.
“You didn’t have to worry about waking them tonight. They’re both already awake. He’s been up to the same bullshit tonight. Pulling the same shit he always does. I’ll make sure she gets there. We’ll meet you there.” Elain heard Eris speak through the phone.
“Thank you.” Elain said, as she finally made it to the front door.
*** *** ***
She made it to the hospital before the others, and walked up to a receptionist, and found herself speaking.
“I’m looking for a Dr. Chambers? I received a call from him, regarding my fiancé.” Elain was shocked at how calm her voice sounded, when inside, she was anything but calm.
A very small part of her wanted to call her sisters, but she knew her sisters lived too far away, and also knew that her sisters had the smallest parts of themselves that seemed to never care about Lucien. If it wasn’t serious, she saw no reason to call them, and bother them with what they would find as a no big deal.
“Fiancés name?” The receptionist asked, looking at Elain.
“Lucien Vanserra.” Elain responded, shifting from one foot to the other, finding herself grow increasingly more nervous as she watched as the receptionist paged the doctor.
“You must be Ms. Archeron?” Elain heard from behind her.
“Yes, thats me.” Elain said, nodding as she turned around, looking up at the doctor, expecting just one, only to be greeted with two.
There was a man, taller than her, short, greying hair, he looked tired, and like he had a lot he didn't want to say, but was preparing to regardless. He had the typical white coat on, above deep blue scrubs, that could border on black, if he wasn't standing in the light.
Beside the male doctor, stood a shorter female doctor. She was much older. Elain would think she'd be past time to retire, but she could see kindness, as well as wisdom and intelligence in her eyes.
"Ms. Archeron, this is Dr. Chambers, and I am Dr. Madga. Please, come, let's find a room to talk." The female doctor took Elains shaking hand within both of her shockingly steady, dark brown hands, in greeting, before turning Elain and going to find a room.
*** *** ***
As Elain was sitting, she hadn't realized she had zoned out coming here. She just found herself sitting in what appeared to be a waiting room, but far more comfortable.
Slowly, she turned to face the two doctors, having missed all of what they said. "I'm so sorry. I must have zoned out. May you repeat everything?" Elain asked, looking at the doctors. The male one looking to be concealing annoyance at her statement, while the woman drew her attention away from him, with a soft touch on the arm.
"Of course sweetie, you must be in shock. We were just saying your fiancé was just in a minor car accident. He arrived here with a few broken ribs, and scratches, one on his head. Other than that he seems fine. He's in CT, and will be looked at by Neuro, and then you will be able to go see him anytime after that." The female doctor, Dr. Madja had said to her, with a warm, kind and understanding smile.
Nodding, Elain found herself wrapping her arms around herself, hugging her midsection, trying to keep calm as she took her turn to speak.
"Luciens brother, Eris Vanserra, is on his way. With their mother." Was her voice starting to shake? She tried to stop it, to keep control. She didn't want to break down in here.
"Of course. If they arrive before your fiancé is ready for visitors, we'll send them in here with you." Dr. Madja said, kindly.
Elain hadn't heard the two doctors leave the room then, as she had fallen into her memories.
*** *** ***
Elain found had only seen him once. One time, and there was a connection. She had tried to keep him at a distance. He was her sisters friend, and she was already engaged.
She loved Greyson. While Greyson wasn't always the kindest, and had a tendency to get incredibly jealous over really nothing, she really did love him.
But when Greyson had broken off the engagement because he had found out that Elain had gone and been spending time with her sisters, and there were other guys who wasn't her sisters fiancé there, when Greyson found out about Lucien, Elain was heartbroken.
She started pushing him away, didn't want to be friends, didn't want to talk to him. As bad as she felt, she pushed him away, because all she could think about was how Lucien played a large role for Greyson ending their engagement. It took an incredibly long time for Elain to see how wrong Greyson was for her, how cruel he had been, and it wasn't her fault, and it wasn't Luciens fault.
That was when she had started to, very slowly, open up more. And once she did, once she opened that door the smallest amount, she couldn't force it shut again if she wanted too.
Lucien was a force to be reckoned with. And with every minute she spent getting to know him, every second she spent talking with him, every day she spent with him? He was winning. She was falling in love with him, how could she not?
When he first kissed her, shy and sweet, as if still afraid she would push him away, she was gone. She was his. She thought she knew what being in love was like with Greyson? She was so wrong, because this? That right there, as Lucien was so gentle and hesitant when he had kissed Elain the first time, with a question, not a claim, that was like nothing Elain had ever felt before.
She thought their first kiss would be the best, that nothing would ever live up to it, but each and every kiss that followed had been just as amazing, if not more so.
And the night he proposed? Elain had never felt so loved before in her life. He had rented out an entire ice rink, and filled the stands with hundreds of yellow, red, and orange flowers. The colours of autumn. Her sisters had taken her to dinner, and then instead of bringing her home, dropped her off at the ice rink, where she met Lucien outside.
He mentioned how he knew one of her favourite winter activities was skating, and, brought her inside the ice rink. A winter room, decorated to look a perfect blend of spring and autumn. Before she had realized what was happening, Lucien was on his one knee, with what appeared to be his mother's ring in his hand, proposing to her.
Lucien had always been the one pursuing the relationship between the two of them. Initiating every first. But he had always done so in the form of a question. Elain never felt pressured with Lucien, where she would have with Greyson. It was one of the things She loved most about Lucien. It was one of the things she was going to mention when she told him about-
"Elain?" Brought out of her memories, Elain looked up to see Eris, and his mother, walking into the room. "Elain honey, what's wrong?"
Shaking her head, not realizing she had tears in her eyes, she straightened up. "Nothing's wrong. I was just lost in memories." Elain said, standing up, allowing herself to be pulled into a hug by her fiancé's mother.
"Have you heard anything?" Eris had asked, looking over to Elain, doing better than his mother at concealing the fear and concern in his expression.
"Few broken ribs, some cuts. Their biggest concern is the cut on his head. They've brought him to CT, and will have him checked by Neuro. After that he will be good for visitors." Elain explained, trying to remember not to leave anything out. “I’m just waiting for the doctors to come let me know he’s ready for visitors.” Elain continued, taking just a second to look down at herself after she was released from the hug.
The next hour felt like a year as the three of them waited for the doctors to come in.
*** *** ***
Standing at the door to Luciens room, Elain didn’t want to go in first. With his mother and brother here now as well, she felt she didn’t have the right to go in first either, and insisted they go in to see him first, as she prepare herself. She didn’t know what she was preparing herself for, the doctors had told her that other than the cuts, and the broken ribs, Lucien was fine, that he had been extremely lucky. But she couldn’t shake this feeling like there was another shoe yet to fall.
She still hadn’t called her sisters, she should call them. But if Lucien was going to be fine, she would call them in the morning. She didn’t want to wake Nesta, and then Feyre was just starting to get back her full nights of sleep, with Nyx starting to sleep through the night. She didn’t want to bother her sisters if she didn’t have to, until the morning.
“-is she?” Elain heard, coming into the end of the conversation, just as she was going to open the door.
“She’s just in the hall, she wanted to let us come see you first. I’ll go get her.” Elain then heard Lucien’s mother say, and she took a step back, a second before the door opened fully and she was greeted with her soon to be mother-in-law. “He’s asking for you.”
Elain nodded, looking down on herself once more, before taking a deep breath, and stepping up to the door, ready to walk in.
She had barely made it into the room, before Lucien, the man who had made her feel more loved than she could ever believe, who had done everything to win her over. The man who had said during his proposal, that he would always love her as long as he lived, looked at Elain for only two seconds, before looking to his mother, confusion forming on his face. Her Lucien, the man who promised to always be by her side, had, with his next question, formed a crack in her heart.
“Who the hell is she?”
It’s a good thing Elain was holding the door, because she had faltered. She had tripped over her own feet at that one question. Just a simple question, but with such honest, and genuine confusion behind it, Elain feared that he had truly meant it.
“Lucien, honey, that’s Elain.” Elain stood there, as Luciens mother had said, softly, with confusion in her own voice, but the crack in her own heart grew as Lucien spoke again.
“That doesn’t answer my question. Who is she? She doesn’t work here, not in those normal clothes. So who is she?” Lucien asked, looking at his mother. He still refused to look at Elain, and that was hurting her more than his questions. He wouldn’t look at her. He had only given her two seconds of his time, before looking away.
“Lucien, stop this. It’s not funny. You were in an accident, and now you’re pretending you don’t even know your own fiancé? Stop be for she breaks apart.” Eris said, sounding as though he was barely trying to conceal his annoyance.
“Fiancé? What are you talking about? I don’t have any idea who she is!” Lucien says, getting slightly louder, in his own confused annoyance, now that it was Eris, and not his mother speaking to him.
Elain found herself stepping forward, just a single step. “Lucien?” She whispered. “It’s me. Elain. You know me. You have to know me. Please tell me you know me.” She said, trying her hardest, to fight back all tears, all pain, hoping, praying to any and all all the gods there were, that Lucien was just playing some sick, cruel joke, and he would smile, and stop, when he saw how it wasn’t working, how it was hurting everyone.
Finally, Lucien looked back at her, finally, after just the two seconds from when she first walked in the door. Perhaps he would now say it was a joke, perhaps he would finally end this, perhaps- “I don’t know you lady. Sorry. But I have no clue who you are.”
Elains world came crashing down around her, everything. Then, as if to add insult, to injury, Elain watched as Lucien, her Lucien, looked to his mother again, and spoke words that broke her already cracked heart.
“Where is Jesminda? You said she was in the hall.” Elain stumbled back, felt herself losing balance, probably would have fallen over completely, if she hadn’t felt Eris step forward to hold her up.
Elain knew the name. It belonged to, well, she wasn’t exactly Luciens ex fiancé, because she had been murdered, while Lucien was away on business, but they had never caught her killer. Lucien had never liked talking about her, because he had never received the closure, so Elain never pushed him on the topic.
“Lucien, stop this, now.” Elain had never seen Luciens mother this upset, had never seen her close to getting angry.
“I’m not doing anything! I want to know where my fiancé is! Where is Jesminda?” And then Lucien only threw a quick glance in Elains direction, before looking back towards his mother. “I don’t know who she is mother. I’ve never seen her before in my life.” Lucien had said, looking at his mother. He sounded completely genuine, and as though he were getting annoyed with the fact that his mother and brother weren't believing him.
Trying to step away from the support she knew was Eris, Elain needed to get out. She couldn’t hear this anymore. Her heart couldn’t bear it any longer. She needed to breath, and the walls of this room were starting to close in on her.
She backed away from Eris, and backed out of the room. As she was out of the room, she turned halfway and stepped until she could no longer see into the room, then, and only then, did she allow herself to break down into tears. Everything they had been through, every moment, every kiss, every smile, every argument, every proclamation of love. Everything. He didn’t remember it. He didn’t remember her. It tore her apart, as she wrapped her arms around her midsection, in an effort to hold herself together, as if that would keep herself from falling apart completely.
*** *** ***
Lucien had remained in the hospital for a month. One month, as Neuro doctors wanted to go over every bit of his brain, make sure they didn’t miss anything, not understanding how he could remember everything so clearly, the date, where he was, who his family was, but not the fact that his lost love had been murdered, and it had taken years to mourn her loss, and then move on and find new love in Elain.
Elain made sure she was at the hospital as much as she was allowed, but since Lucien did not recognize her, he did not want her around in his room. She could not be around long. She was his emergency contact, she would receive the information before his mother, or Eris, but any time she tried to walk in the room, hoping that maybe that day, he would finally recognize her, remember her, he would get upset how he did not know her, and insist she just leave him alone.
So she started going losing hope, eating less, trying less. It wasn’t until the final day, when the doctors in the Neuro department decided that essentially there was nothing wrong with Lucien, and decided to discharge him, that Elain had finally broke down. That was when Eris had pulled her to the side, in the cafeteria, sat her down, and put a bowl of chicken noodle soup in front of her.
Confused, Elain looked at the man, who looked much like the man she loved, but also incredibly different.
“You haven’t been eating properly. Eat.” Eris said, before sitting down across from her. “My mother is getting Lucien ready to leave. I told her I would be down here with you, getting you to eat.”
“Why?” Elain asked, grabbing a spoon, and just moving the spoon through the soup, not intending to eat any of it. She would eat later.
“I may not be your favourite person. I may not be Luciens favourite person. But, I know my brother. He may not remember you right now, but if he knew that I had stood by, and just let you waste away? He’d kill me. Especially if he knew you were pregnant with his child.” Eris said, looking at Elain, with a sort of intensity, that was masked behind nonchalance.
Elain’s gaze snapped up to meet Eris’ immediately, without missing a beat, the second he had said that. She wasn’t letting herself waste away. She was caring for herself, she was making sure the baby was getting enough. She just wasn’t doing anything for her. “How did you-” She started, but was interrupted as Eris continued.
“So it’s true? I didn’t know, not for sure, until this very moment. My mother and I, we suspected. The way you’ve been looking down at yourself constantly, with pain, or the way you hug yourself to hold yourself together. It’s lower in the midsection. My mother had guessed first, brought it up with me.” Eris explained.
Elain found herself looking down into the soup placed in front of her. “He doesn’t remember me. He doesn’t know me. It’s been a month. I’m the one on a clock. Because I’m not going to raise a child with the pain of their father refusing to believe or remember anything about their mother. I’m not going to do that to my child. It isn’t fair.”
“When they start inevitably asking questions?” Eris had asked.
“I don’t know Eris. I don’t know. I only found out myself the day before Luciens accident. I was going to tell him the next day. So I don’t know.” Elain said, seeing a tear drop land on the table beneath her.
Taking a deep breath, Elain stood up, after not touching the soup at all. “It’s not like I want this. It’s not like I want my child, Lucien’s child to grow up without him. But I don’t know what I’m going to do, if he ends up not getting any memory of me back. I will not put my child through that pain and confusion.”
With that, Elain could see Eris’s mother, and Lucien starting to walk into the cafeteria. “I’ve got to go.” Elain said.
“I’ll drive you home.” Eris replied, standing up himself, and Elain shook her head.
“My sisters are coming.” Elain said, starting to walk off, before stopping, and turning around halfway, seeing Eris standing there. What she said next, was possibly one of the hardest things she had ever find herself saying. “Eris. No matter what happens. If he remembers me or not. You and your mother will not be cut off. You will always have the option for having a relationship with his child." She said, and realized, with one more final blow to the heart she needed to do one more thing.
Grabbing her left hand, she walked up to Eris, and took his hand in hers. “I truly hope he remembers. More than anyone knows. But if he doesn’t this doesn’t belong to me. Please, return it to her, would you?” And with that, she placed the engagement ring, the one his mother had given Lucien to propose with, in Eris’ hand, and with one final glance towards the opposite end of the cafeteria where the love of her life stood with his mother, she turned on her heel and walked out, to meet her sisters.
*** *** ***
Just under six years had passed, and Elain sat on a park bench, watching her daughter playing on the play ground. Elain had come here with her sisters, and her daughter was currently playing with her cousin, while Elain sat there enjoying her time with her sisters. Her daughter had just turned five, and was already incredibly smart, and such a handful.
It made Elain wish she wasn’t doing everything alone. Sure she had her sisters, and then there was the occasional help from Eris or his mother if she really needed it. But none of them were there when her daughter would wake up multiple times a night for months, leaving Elain alone to take care of her, or when she was sick, and Desirae woke up in the middle of the night, terrified from a nightmare. Yes, while Elain had support, there was so much she felt utterly alone for, and wished she wasn’t. Wished she had Lucien.
Pulled from her thoughts, at her daughters excited screaming, Elain looked to see Desirae shout for her grandmother and uncle, and start running to them, only to stop shy when she reached her uncle and see there was someone else there.
Elains heart dropped. She hadn’t seen him in years, aside from the pictures she kept hidden.
Elain stood, slowly moving forward, watching as her daughter nervously hid behind her uncle, not knowing the other man who stood there as well. Desirae had known her grandmother, and her uncle, and uncles wife, but not the unknown man.
“Elain?” Behind her, Feyre called out, concern filling her voice. Elain ignored her sister, focused solely on her daughter.
She wasn’t stupid. She knew if her daughter would have a relationship with her uncle and grandmother, eventually there would come a time she would end up face-to-face with Lucien. But Elain hoped it wouldn’t have been so soon, or in such a public place.
Elain was close enough now, to hear her daughter ask the question she had hoped to avoid as long as possible. “Uncle Eris, who is that?” While also pointing a finger at the man she didn’t know was her father.
Elain knew this day would come. She knew she couldn’t avoid it forever. But she thought she would have more time to think of a way to explain, because as far as Lucien knew, she was the woman in the hospital who he didn’t want around, if he remembered her as even that at all, who apparently was the mother of the young girl calling his brother uncle.
Suddenly frozen, everyone was frozen now. Elain saw as Eris looked towards her, even his mother looked towards her. Everyone frozen, not knowing what to do.
It was Nesta who had walked past, and gotten Desirae away from Eris, shaking her head. “Sorry about that. I’ll call you later. I told her that today was an important day and not to run off.” Nesta explained, and then Elain watched as her sister took her daughters hand, and started to walk off, followed by Feyre who had gathered Nyx, and grabbed Elains arm in the process, to make sure they all left, all the while, forcing herself not to look back at Lucien, not to allow that pain into her chest.
*** *** ***
Later that evening, after finding out the only way to dodge the hundreds of questions about “who was that man with grandma and uncle Eris?” Was to hand over her phone, and sit Desirae in her room, in their small apartment.
It was much smaller than the house she had before Luciens accident The whole apartment could fit in her and Luciens living room alone. Despite Eris insisting it wasn’t a problem that she continue living there, she couldn’t. Every memory she had with Lucien was there, and as time passed, it became too painful. She needed to move on.
Desirae was in her room with Elains phone, watching some YouTube video that filled the apartment, with Elains phone turned to airplane mode, so Desirae wouldn’t accidentally call Elains boss again. Had Elain kept her phone, she would have known about the calls and texts from Eris, but had no idea, as she was making dinner, and hoping during dinner, the questions wouldn’t continue, when a knock rang through the apartment.
“I’ll be right there!” Elain shouted out, putting her utensils down, and walking out of the kitchen area to the door of the apartment, and opened it up, only to freeze, completely shocked.
“Oh thank God it’s you.” Elain stood there, as Lucien mumbled, looking as though he wanted nothing more than to pull her in for a kiss, or a hug, to hold her, anything, everything.
Elain only stood there, frozen, as though if she were to move, speak, or breath, everything would fall apart.
"You're hesitant. Afraid." Lucien said, sounding hesitant himself, as if he were afraid to hurt her more. "I get it. You have reason to be."
Elain lifted her other hand to grip the door as well, to make sure she didn't reach out to him. She had to be dreaming, seeing him at the park earlier must have caused her to dream of him.
Elain hadn't realised she had started crying until Lucien, apparently unable to hold back any longer, stepped forward, and pulled Elain into his arms, pulling her close, and hugged her close.
"I know you have no reason to trust this. But I'm here. I remember. I remember everything." Lucien whispered into Elains hair.
Elain tried not to break down. Not to fall apart.
"Mommy? I'm hungry, when's dinner?" A voice from the hall sounded, coming closer, until it ended in a soft "Oh."
Elain stepped back immediately and turned around, seeing Desirae hiding back behind the wall, nervous. Her red hair falling out of the pony tail from earlier in long messy curls, and brown eyes wide with curiosity. A quick glance at Lucien showed that he was overcome by a rush of different emotions.
Quickly recovering though, Elain watched as Lucien crouched down, and pulled out a small gift bag. "Desirae right? I'm a friend of your moms. It's nice to meet you. Would it be alright if I stayed for dinner as well?"
Never one to turn down a gift, Elain watched her daughter slowly walk forward, more sure with each step, and give Elain her phone, before taking the gift, only to find a small fox plush toy, another one to add to her huge collection.
Desirae smiled, a huge smile, before shrieking her thanks, and running to put it in her room.
Elain was about to ask how he knew, before Lucien stood up straight, looking at Elain, slightly guilty expression, explaining before she could ask. "I made my mother tell me everything she could. She didn't want too, but..." Lucien trailed off. "She said that surprisingly, Desirae's favourite animal is a fox, so, I made sure to find a fox toy before getting here."
"She doesn't know who you are." Elain explained, feeling broken as she said that sentence, especially as she saw how Lucien appeared hurt by it as well.
"My mother told me that as well. Told me why, and I understand. I'd probably do the same, if the roles were reversed. I just hope she can know me now. Even if it's as your friend, I under-"
Shaking her head, Elain stopped Lucien. "I'm not heartless. I want you in her life. Our life. Just like I want her in your life. But I don't want her knowing who you are to her until I know for sure you won't forget again." Elain explained, watching as Lucien nodded, relief washing over his features.
"One more thing." Lucien said, before reaching into his pocket, and pulling out a small box. Giving it to Elain, she opened it, and fought back the urge to cry. Instead she closed it and passed it back to him, shaking her head.
"I want to take it. I do. But Lucien, you didn't know who I was for almost six years. The fact that you insisted on not knowing me broke my heart. Having to give this ring to Eris, because you wouldn't even look at me, crushed the broken pieces to dust. I want nothing more than to take this ring back, and wear it again. But again, I need to make sure you won't forget me again shortly. I can't go through the pain of returning it again, if you forget again." Elain explained, fighting back tears.
Looking down, Elain continued to speak. "I'll take this ring back, on the day we tell Desirae you're her dad. If you still want to give it to me that is." She finished in a whisper.
"Elain, I'm so sorry for all the pain you've been through these past few years." Lucien whispered, as if realizing then, the weight of his amnesia carried.
Elain allowed Lucien to pull her into another hug, emotionally drained.
That was the moment the smoke alarm decided to start blaring, reminding Elain that she had been in the middle of making dinner for Desirae and herself.
"I got it, you sit." Lucien insisted, leading Elain to the couch, and went to try and salvage the dinner that had clearly been burnt from his unexpected visit.
Scared from the smoke alarm, Desirae came running out, and sat, curled up next to Elain, and had managed to talked her mom into turning the tv on, so she could watch YouTube on the tv.
While her daughter watched YouTube on the tv, and Lucien tried to salvage the food in the kitchen, Elain turned her phone off of airplane mode, and recieved numerous texts and missed calls from Eris.
2.47pm
He found them.
2.49pm
I told my mother to have those damned photos locked away. The ones of you and him, and especially of Desirae.
3.11pm
He's asking about them. He isn't letting up. He wants to know who the little girl at the park was, and why there's pictures of her in my mother's room, in a box.
3.45pm
Elain I'm sorry.
3.46pm
He knows.
3.52pm
She didn't want to tell him. He fought her to tell him. There were pictures of you and him, and you and Desirae. Pictures of Desirae and mother.
4.08pm
He REMEMBERS
4.09pm
Elain he's going there.
5.30pm
Elain, let me know if I need to come drag my brother away. If I don't hear from you, I'm going to assume it's because things are going well. If you need someone to watch Desirae for things to go better than well, I doubt my mother would mind babysitting.
*** *** ***
It was on New Years that Elain felt confident enough that Lucien wouldn't slip back into amnesia again. So, on the first day of the new year, she recieved a father.
And Elain started wearing her engagement ring again.
True to what Eris had once said, as a joke, Luciens mother didn't mind babysitting that night at all.
Post Fic Author Notes :: So, this didn't end how I planned. It went longer. I had planned for the fic to end in the park, with Elain seeing Lucien, with another woman, and a young boy... But even my own writing is like "NO! GIVE ANGST SURE BUT HAPPY ENDINGS!"
Yeah.... this fic originally was not going to have a happy ending at all...... oops. I was gonna go all in with the freedom of the prompt asking for angst.
Anyway, I hope you liked it!!!!
THERE IS AN ALTERNATE ENDING! YOU CAN READ IT HERE! IF YOU'RE BRAVE. This is also where You learn the meaning of Desirae's name.
If alternate ending link doesn't work, let me know.. I'll send the AO3 one to you.
Tag List :: @bridgertononmymind | @ramim | @xxdeliriouslybookishxx
But I’m at 250+ asks and I want to whittle them down some before more come flooding in so for now I’m closing it so I can work on the asks I already have.
Because seriously I’m at the point I think of an ask I saw a while ago that I finally know how to answer/what I want to say but I CAN’T FIND IT among the rest. So...
Just until I get it down to what I feel is a more manageable level. Then I’ll open it again.
Also I’ll still try to respond to notes/reblogs so long as Tumblr tells me they exist.
Do it. If you want to do something, don’t wait. Life is short, and everything is temporary.
Go sky-diving. Or bungee jumping. Or snorkeling. Or go do something you’ve always wanted to do.
If you’re scared, gulp it down and go for it. Being nervous has pushed us through everything, and I’m counting on it now. It’s okay if your heart is thumping, or you are biting your nails in anxiety. It’s okay.
But sometimes you need to take the jump. Sometimes that very jump can change your life and open your eyes. Sometimes that jump is all you need. Don’t throw it away.
