Under The Microscope, Part 26 (Yandere Sabo x Reader, now in the fluff part)
18+ MDNI | on Ao3 | the other parts
Thank you for reading, thank you for commenting, thank you for liking, thank you for enjoying this story. I truly loved writing this and I hope you've enjoyed reading it. If you wanna stick around, I'm gonna continue writing fics about Sabo because I love him.
Your POV
Your eyelids felt heavy as they fluttered open, like you could use another day or so of sleep. That wasn’t unusual, you were always tired these days. But even so, you felt more rested than you normally did. You must have conked out for a long time, but it was hard to tell. You didn’t know where you’d be waking up, or even the time of day. Hell, you didn’t know what day it was, much less the week or month. Sometimes you dreamed about working, or worked while you were half asleep and hallucinating, so it was hard to tell what was real and what wasn’t. You were fairly sure that you’d actually rested though, your limbs feeling lighter than they usually did.
Waking up in random locations wasn’t something new for you. As soon as Sabo left, you threw yourself into your work, staying in the lab with your crew every minute that the lab was open. At first you’d adhered to his rules, making sure to stay within the boundaries he had set for you. But ever since you watched Vegapunk’s message that Lulusia…that Sabo…well, you hadn’t been the same.
After Dragon confirmed your worst fears, you shut yourself off to the world, focusing only on what you could produce for the Revolutionary Army. You spent every second of your time in your lab and reacted like a wild animal when anyone tried to stop you. You knew you were lashing out but you couldn’t stop yourself from your violent reactions. Even Dragon had backed off after you shrank his whiskey and hid it until he let you back in your lab. You had the sense that everyone was concerned for you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. You didn’t want to hear any pithy sayings, or get a pat on the arm, or pulled into a hug or anything like that. No, there was no more time.
Everyone was scared for and of you, but they didn’t grasp the full impact of what the world had seen. No one did. Sabo’s death was destroying you from the inside, but the pressure to defend the free world was crushing you. The power that Imu and the World Government had shown was incomprehensible, something that you’d never thought you would witness in your lifetime.
You alone could come up with something to help fight the World Government, to undo the damage you’d already wrought in the world. Dragon said that you were all working together, but what could they do against a weapon like that? No, you needed to work and create a solution to that horrible weapon. And how could you rest when so many people’s lives were at stake? You didn’t dare to take any time off – you needed to crack how the World Government had powered those weapons and quickly.
So you holed up in your lab day after day, endlessly toiling to understand the Mother Flame and the ancient weapons it was powering. Yes, your constant working was self destructive, but you didn’t care. You would rather spend your time working and thinking about your discoveries than have to process your feelings about Sabo and his death.
It wasn’t long after he left that you came to terms with your true feelings for him – you were hopelessly in love with Sabo. Yes, your meeting had come with a rocky start but by now you couldn’t imagine living in a world that didn’t include Sabo. Which made the news of his tragic and untimely death all the worse – you’d missed your opportunity. Someone had said something about more fish in the sea, but you knew better. There was only one person for you, and unfortunately, he was no longer.
So any second that wasn’t being consumed with work had you wracked with guilt and regret. How could you have let things end that way between you and Sabo? Sabo had given his life to free the people of the world and you couldn’t even be brave enough to admit your romantic feelings to him. Every time you thought about Sabo you’d end up in tears so you forced yourself to push him to the side, to deal with him later, once you finally cracked the Mother Flame.
Ace had called a few times, saying something about Sabo’s vivre paper, but you ignored the calls and let it go to message. You were sure Ace was having an extremely difficult time with the loss of his brother and needed support, but you were feeling selfish. You didn’t want to talk to Ace, you didn’t want to talk to Dragon, you didn’t want to do anything but bury yourself in work in the hope that it would kill the overwhelming grief and regret that stabbed at you every day. And without anyone to stop you, you worked until you passed out and then began the process again.
But right now you actually felt somewhat alright. You must have fallen asleep on the floor rather than on your desk this time, you thought as you stretched your limbs out. Your hand was resting on something soft – was that a pillow? You opened up your eyes a little more and tried to rub at the other. Something was amiss – what happened before you went to sleep? Had someone finally dragged you out of the lab? Were you still asleep?
Looking around, your heart fell as you saw where you were. You were in Sabo’s room, the one right next to your own. When Sabo had first left, you’d spent your nights sleeping in his bed rather than your own. You deluded yourself into thinking you could still feel his warmth and smell his particular smoky scent, no matter how foolish the notion was. It was better than sleeping in your own room, alone, for the first time in however many months. Loneliness pricked at you night after night, but you had thoughts of Sabo returning home to keep you sated and happy.
However, after the destruction of Lulusia, you’d taken to living in the lab rather than having to come back and see Sabo’s belongings time after time. Everything in his room was one more reminder of your failures, both personal and professional. You hadn’t ever confessed to him, and you hadn’t prevented the destruction of an entire nation at the hands of the World Government. You didn’t deserve better than living like a mangy dog.
Sabo’s room felt more like a slap in the face than the gentle caress it had before, and you were too cowardly to confront the realities once more. So instead, you stayed in your microscopic lab, flagellating yourself by sleeping on the floor or on your desk. Sabo would have reprimanded you, but he wasn’t around to do that any longer.
As your thoughts turned back towards Sabo (as they always did) you brought your finger to your mouth and found them all bandaged. You picked at one of the bandages, trying to remember which one was the least bitten. At some point you had taken to bandaging them, since your fingers were bleeding all over your papers. But you usually left one available, your need to worry at your skin too overpowering to allow your fingers to heal.
Instead, you looked out the window for the first time. Like your room, Sabo’s was arranged so that you could easily see out of your right eye without turning your head. It was one of the small details that you’d never think of, but that he always did. Your heart constricted with the thoughts of Sabo and his cleverness, his thoughtfulness, and his intelligence. That was all gone now, and you had to go back to work. Luckily, you could summon Dream Sabo at will now, who could be your companion until you finally snapped your tether to reality.
Wait, hadn’t something happened with Dream Sabo yesterday? You rubbed your forehead, trying to remember exactly what your dream had been. Even though Dream Sabo always hurt your heart when you woke, you didn’t want the hallucinations to stop. It was merely wish fulfillment, you knew that, but you couldn’t stop yourself from wanting him to be real for the few moments you could still have him. It was delusional and self destructive, but you didn’t care.
At first, you only saw Dream Sabo when you were asleep. You did some quick research on lucid dreaming and began interacting with your Dream Sabo that way. But you realized you were starting to lose it when Sabo started appearing as hallucinations while you were awake. It was a welcome change from the loneliness that you felt and you often talked to him or did other activities. Dream Sabo was your near constant companion. He was your outlet for everything you wished you could have said or done. You were aware that he was an illusion, but you couldn’t bring yourself to stop.
Thinking back to the previous night, Dream Sabo had been the most elaborate and wonderful creation you’d ever made, complete with sensation and smell. Dream Sabo had finally convinced you that he had come home again and that he was back in your arms. You didn’t go as far as you normally did, only kissing and some light fondling, but that was OK. Even the dreams with conversation were a respite from the emotions that threatened to break you. Your heart constricted at the thought of Sabo coming home. That was always the worst part – waking up.
You turned over in the bed, your overworked brain thinking you’d caught his scent one last time. Tears pricked your vision as you inhaled deeply – Sabo was gone, and there was nothing you could do about it. You’d begged him not to trick you again, but your wishful thinking overpowered your loneliness time and again.
Last night, like always, you told Sabo that you loved him and that you regretted not telling him sooner. You felt a tear tracking down your cheek as you remembered his warmth, his smile, and even his stare. You almost hoped you dreamed of him like that again, but it made living in the real world so much harder. Koala had told you that you needed to accept his death, but her words had made you too upset to listen to. You’d enlarged her hat to cover her before she could continue patronizing you.
You looked down and humphed – you had changed your clothes before you went to sleep. Normally, you wore Sabo’s old blue shirt, but you had changed for a clean white one and nothing else. Eh, what did you care? You were probably due for a change of clothes anyway, and definitely a shower.
You gave a heavy sigh in preparation for the day (looking out the window, it seemed it was late morning). Back to the grind, you thought, swinging your legs over the bed.
“Time for work,” you said to yourself, trying to remember where exactly you’d left off on your experiments. You were getting closer to cracking the Mother Flame day by day but you were still quite far from finishing the project. As soon as your feet made contact with the ground, your head swiveled towards the sound of a creaking chair. You weren’t alone? You internally cursed, your drive towards a singular goal was always the cause of trouble.
“Absolutely not,” a familiar voice stated, set with determination. You smiled at your man, Dream Sabo coming into view as you turned your head farther to the left. He was sitting at the small writing desk by the wall, going through the stacks of papers that had been left for him. He looked like he always had, tall and slim, his blond hair over his bad eye, his familiar gloves on both hands. Even his goggled top hat resting on his desk, a detail that wasn’t always there in your dreams. You really must be feeling better to get something like that down.
“Hiya Sabo,” you said brightly, stretching your arms overhead. “Did you change my clothes?” you asked, mildly curious. Obviously, you had been the one to do it but maybe Dream Sabo would have something interesting to say.
“I did, yes. And I think this is a new record for you, you slept for 18 hours,” Sabo said, almost proudly. He crossed the room and sat down on the edge of the bed near you, watching you calmly.
“No wonder I feel refreshed," you said with a hum, your mind already wandering back to your experiments.
“Sunny, do you know where you are? What’s going on?” he asked, concern etched in the furrowing of his brows. You laughed a little, he was being so cute today. It seemed like you were really in Sabo’s room, so you’d have to make your way back to the lab. You could pass by the mess hall on the way and get fresh coffee, something you weren’t sure you’d had in a while.
“Yeah, I do. I think I’m actually in Sabo’s room, I must have wandered back here. It’s ok though, I can find my lab again. I probably left it outside,” you said with a shrug. “What’s going on is that I need to get back to work and continue working –” Sabo’s hand reached for yours, holding your hand loosely.
“No. You’re not working today. You’re in really bad shape, Sunny. You haven’t been taking care of yourself at all,” he continued, squeezing your hand.
“Aw, quit it Sabo,” you griped without heat. What was he going to do – stop you? Sitting up, you stretched your legs and prepared to get back to it. No sense in delaying what needed to be done, excellent Dream Sabo or not.
“Well, I’m off –”
“No. You’re not,” Sabo said, serious this time as his fingertips settled against your upper chest, preventing you from getting out of the bed. You laughed in his face, you loved when you imagined him this way. It was so similar to how Sabo actually was that it was impossible not to enjoy when he stood up to you in your imagination.
“Alright, alright. I’ll take a shower first. Is that better? And are you joining me?” you asked with a chuckle, standing up and stretching your arms over your head. Sabo sputtered, his eyes fixed to your naked thighs that lifting your arms revealed. You weren’t wearing anything underneath either, you remembered as cool air hit your ass. Sabo hadn’t missed that detail either, as his gaze was riveted to you.
“Oh, uh. I – yes. Yes. Yes, of course,” Sabo said, his attention not wavering as you started unbuttoning his shirt. He was already in the process of removing his gloves when he shook himself slightly. His hair fell back over his bad eye as he looked up at you.
“Wait, no. No, Sunny. I’m not joining you, not yet,” he corrected himself. You shifted your weight to one foot and jutted your hip, confused by his actions. Dream Sabo always joined you in the shower…
“What? But you always shower with me when you’re around. Do you not love me anymore?” you said with a pout. What an erratic Dream Sabo, you thought. He stood up and quickly reached for you, cupping your face in his warm hands. You smiled as you looked up at his sincere face, a little sorry for having teased him so much. Dream Sabo was only a dream, after all.
“I love you with every fiber of my being. I would love to join you in the shower. I’ve dreamed of it myself many, many times. But I can’t do it now. Not like this. You still think I’m dead,” Sabo said with a frown.
“Sabo, don’t,” you said, backing away from him slowly. This Dream Sabo was persistent in telling you he was real, something that had bothered you the night before too. Dream Sabo stood up next to you, and took your hands in his own.
“Sunny. Listen to me. I know it’s hard, I know. But I’m here. I’m real,” Dream Sabo continued. Your eyes bounced around his face as you bit your lip.
“Stop,” you said hesitantly, trying to pull your hands away from his. Dream Sabo’s strength was more significant than you remembered, you were unable to extricate yourself from his grasp. But Dream Sabo couldn’t stop you from doing anything…Dream Sabo never went against your wishes…Dream Sabo didn’t ever frown at you…
“No, I can’t. Sunny, please. Please, listen and understand. I’m not a hallucination,” he said, using one hand to push some of your hair off your face. You frowned at him, you didn’t want to hear all this again.
“Send me away,” he said, looking into your eyes.
“What?” you asked, taken aback. Dream Sabo never, ever asked to be sent away. You stared back into his eyes, your brow furrowing. His were brighter than you remembered them, the milky one reminding you of Uranus. Wait…Uranus…Lulusia…the mother flame…
“Hold on, I need to write something down,” you said, your moment with Dream Sabo slipping from your mind. Your eyes landed on the papers on Dream Sabo’s desk, where he’d been writing when you woke up. You pulled your hands from Sabo’s and walked towards his desk, needing to jot your idea down before you forgot it.
“Sunny, please. This is important –”
“No, not now. I had a thought about the ancient weapons and I need to write it –” Your words trailed off as you looked at the papers on his desk. Dream Sabo had written correspondences before, that wasn’t new. You’d seen Real Sabo doing that many times, so it was an activity your mind supplied occasionally. You spread the papers over the desk, glancing at them. Some of the names you recognized but some of them you’d never heard of before. It was strange to see Dream Sabo writing to people you didn’t know, but maybe your mind had supplied some new information? But Dream Sabo only knew what you knew… You brought your finger up to your mouth, remembering at the last moment that all of your fingertips were bandaged.
“What’s wrong?” Dream Sabo said, standing behind you. You felt his familiar warmth behind you, his breath fanning over your neck.
“I don’t know – you’re being weird today,” you said, while looking for a pen and blank piece of paper. You had a headache brewing, you needed to get some coffee. Dream Sabo kissed your exposed shoulder while you pushed things around on his desk.
“I have the pen. There’s nothing else to write with here,” Dream Sabo said, toying with the ends of your hair.
“Give it,” you demanded, holding out your hand. But Dream Sabo never interfered with your physical area outside of your dream, he wasn’t able to…
“No. Send me away,” Sabo said behind you, whispering into your ear. You turned to him and rested your forehead on his shoulder, sighing heavily. One of his hands settled on your waist and you leaned against him, enjoying how solid he was. You could really use another nap, you thought, but there wasn’t any time. The lab was calling for you and you needed to keep working.
“I don’t want to. Life is better when you’re with me. Tell me where the pen is,” you murmured, looking up at him. You twined your arms around his neck, enjoying the comfort he was providing.
“No. But you can get rid of me, right? If I’m a hallucination, you can vanish me,” Dream Sabo said softly, his other hand running up and down your back. But Dream Sabo never said he was a hallucination…
“I can, yeah. When I need my full focus I send you away,” you mumbled, your words muffled by his clothing as your forehead rested against his shoulder.
“So do it. I’m not going to give you the pen until you do,” Dream Sabo said, cradling you against his chest. Even as he told you to get rid of him, he was drawing you closer. Your mind sputtered as you half heartedly tried to will Sabo away. He was being annoying, and you really did have to get back to the lab. Maybe you’d wake up and you’d still be in your lab, like a dream in a dream. It had happened to you a few times and it was always disorienting. But then again, you were usually working when you were asleep or awake, so it made little difference to you.
…but wait….Dream Sabo hadn’t gone anywhere when you willed him away. You still felt his warm skin under yours, could hear his heart beating strongly. You could even smell his smoky scent, the one you tried to find in his old clothes and belongings.
Did that mean…?
Sabo POV
When Sabo and his brothers were young, Ace had frequent bouts of sleep walking. After a few nights filled with trials, errors, and blows to the head, Sabo found that the best way of getting Ace peacefully back to bed was by calmly assisting him without rousing him. He stopped trying to wake Ace up and instead guided him back to where he needed to be, allowing Ace’s body to relax and not wake in a fight or flight mode.
Sabo had taken a similar approach to you once you woke from your lengthy sleep. You were still overtired and underfed, Sabo wasn’t under the illusion that one long burst of sleep would heal you, but at least your body had rested. You were brilliant, and your mind would work tirelessly to put together the pieces of the puzzle to finally convince you that he was real. There had already been a few glances that Sabo had interpreted as you thinking through the situation a little at a time. Sabo didn’t think there was a need to overwhelm you and bombard you with information when you’d figure it out at your own pace.
But after you’d said the shower comment, Sabo knew he had to push you a little bit. This was the second time you’d unknowingly teased him with a shower since he’d met you, and he didn’t know if he could bear a third. He wanted to gently prod you closer to the goal you were heading towards with a simple request.
“So do it. I’m not going to give you the pen until you do,” Sabo said, holding you close to his chest. Despite having slept for so long, your endurance was absolutely abysmal. You looked like you were ready to pass out again, and it wouldn’t have surprised him if you did. There had been absolutely no accountability for you while he was gone and you’d taken everything to the extreme. You were right back where you started, perhaps worse.
“Sabo,” you whispered, looking him over all at once. Your hands roved over his back, before pushing away slightly to grab his face. There was a panicked look to your eyes, something half wild stirring within you. Sabo relaxed his shoulders – there was the crack in your delusion he was looking for.
“I’m here with you,” Sabo said, wishing he could feel every inch of your skin with his own.
“S-sabo,” you repeated, your face crumpling. Sabo was prepared for more tears, though it broke his heart each time you cried. He never wanted to be the reason for your sadness, even though this was unavoidable.
“Wh-why didn’t you sleep in bed with m-me?” was the first question that tumbled out of your mouth as your chest heaved. Sabo laughed lightly even as you ugly cried into your hands, your back shaking with the intensity of your tears. He guided you to sit on the bed and sat beside you, taking your hands again in his own and pulling them away from your face. Your fingers probed his hands, like you were unsure if he was truly there with you or not.
“Five months apart and that’s what you ask me?” he said, leaning in to kiss you. You stared at him, barely remembering to kiss him back in time. Your mouth was hanging open, like you couldn’t parse what was happening.
“And for the record, I did sleep in bed with you. I slept for about 10 hours next to you, but you’ve been sleeping for about 18. You kept trying to get up and I had to keep holding you so you’d sleep longer. Sunny, we have to talk about your health,” Sabo said with a frown. Your lower lip wobbled for a moment before you flung yourself into his arms, your scant body weight crashing against his own. Sabo landed on his back on the bed as you toppled over him, hugging him tightly.
“SabOoOoO –” you wailed, unable to control yourself any longer. Tears streamed down your face as you cried, clutching his shirt. Sabo ran his hands up and down your back soothingly, cooing at you as you cried. This was the second time in two days you’d soaked through his shirt, but he’d take 100 more if it meant you understood he was actually alive. You pushed your hand into his hair, turning his head to you. You pressed your lips to his and wrapped a leg around his waist, pulling him in for a kiss. But your mind was already working overtime, and you broke the kiss to ask him questions.
“But how are you alive? How did you survive the ancient weapon? Did you see the Mother Flame? How did you get back here? Why did you –” Sabo kissed you again, stifling your questions. His tongue swirled against your own as his hands grabbed your hips and pulled you closer. You groaned into his mouth, grinding against him. Sabo broke the kiss to answer the very questions you asked. He knew you wouldn’t stop for long and he wanted to answer you before it tunneled deeper into your mind.
“I wasn’t on the island, I was on a boat nearby. I didn’t see the weapon directly, I only saw the destruction it caused. There was a rebellion on the island so some of the people were with me on the boat. They’re here on the island now,” Sabo explained, his thumbs stroking the exposed skin of your thighs.
“But besides that, we have some things to discuss,” Sabo said, turning serious for a moment. You bit your lip and looked away, like you knew what he was going to say. Sabo chucked your chin, pointing your gaze back to him.
“I wasn’t able to keep my promise to you,” Sabo said softly, pushing some of your hair off your face.
“Wh- what are you talking about? What promise?” you asked, still holding him tightly.
“My promise to take care of you. I left you alone and you deteriorated. You’re in really poor health, Sunny. I can’t bear to see you like this,” Sabo said quietly before kissing you again. He couldn’t get enough of you – you had been on his mind since he’d left and you were finally back in his arms again. He didn’t mean to kick you when you were down but his concern for your health overrode everything else. You waved him off with a hand.
“Oh, uh. Well, I did that on my own. And it wasn’t like you meant to have everyone think you uh –”
“Died,” Sabo supplied.
“Right,” you said sheepishly. “Well, I was upset and thought…well you know. I guess I went a little overboard, huh?” you said with a guilty smile. Sabo smiled back before shifting positions to roll on top of you. One of his hands was planted by your head and the other stroked along your exposed hip.
“That just means I can’t really die because you’ll be joining me shortly,” Sabo said with a small laugh before bending down to gently suck along your neck. Your breath was already hitching as he kissed you, your chest flushing and your nipples puckering. Sabo desperately wanted to continue but there was something he needed to know first.
“Yesterday, you said that you had an immense regret. Something that you confessed to your hallucination more than once. Do you remember that?” Sabo asked gently, his hands leaving your thighs to stroke your cheekbones. You nodded your head, looking into his eyes.
“Well, I mean. I don’t remember yesterday exactly. Time is a little, er, loose for me right now. But I know what my regret is - er, was,” you replied.
“Please. Tell me again,” Sabo whispered. You licked your lips before looking deep into his eyes.
“I love you, Sabo. I’m sorry I didn’t say it before. I love you.”
“I love you too,” he said, before leaning down to kiss you tenderly.
The End <3
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