Negotiating
this is a snippet of chapter 18 of my asexual vampire novel wip :> 🧛
Oberon- he/him pronouns, vampire; Riley- they/them pronouns, ace, human
“You’re afraid you’ll become a different person, led only by bloodlust, and when you return to normal you’ll be full of regret and disgusted at yourself.”
“No- well- I don’t think you’re disgusting!”
“That’s not what I said, is it? You’re also afraid of letting me have such absolute control over you.”
“That’s… more accurate. I would have no concept of disobeying you?”
“No.”
“You could make me do absolutely anything, and I’d happily comply?”
“Yes.”
“You could make me want you, and change the way I think.”
“That’s more of the bloodlust’s job, not mine. But still, yes.”
“Then yeah. That’s what I’m afraid of. I. I want to trust you. But it’s hard.”
“Alright. I have an idea.” Oberon stood and very carefully opened a silk bag. Delicately, he reached in and extracted what was inside, and passed it to Riley. They looked at it in shock.
“A stake?” they took it out and held it in their hands. Oberon’s eyes were drawn towards it in the same tense way people kept their eyes on a gun in someone else’s hands. “What- Why?”
“For after.” He took a deep, completely unnecessary breath. “If you would allow me to put you under full trance, all-inclusive, and I do something to you or have you do something that you don’t like, I would give you permission to pick up this stake and run me through. If I hurt you deeply, while you’re defenseless, and you awaken and hate yourself, or hate me? Kill me.”
Riley dropped the stake and it clattered to the floor. “Jesus, Oberon, you don’t have to do that!”
“Equal risk.” They began to object, but Oberon held up a finger at them and bent to pick up the stake. He carefully wrapped it back into the silk bag, and went back across the room to open a box on the bookshelf, placing it inside. “I have one stipulation: the stake be kept twenty feet away, more or less, and you will have to take an extra second or two to think about what you’re doing before killing me. It’s all I can ask.”
They were speechless for several long moments. “You… must really want to fuck me.”
He averted his eyes. “I want you to feel safe, if we do.”
A sensation similar to shattering went through their chest, like their heart was broken, but somehow pleasantly.
