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ITEM-023 "Cook's Best Friend"

---OFFICIAL F.E.R.N.E. COMPANY ITEM DOCUMENTATION---

Designated Number# 023

Categorization Security Code: Level 3 / Eithwaz / Blue

Object Type: Artefact / Thoughtless

ITEM Description: ITEM-023 is a medium sized kitchen knife with a dark blue handle, a reflective blade and a thin luminescent glow along its cutting edge. There is a screw on both sides of the top part of the handle that cannot be unscrewed, and the object itself seems unable to be dulled or broken, and it also seems impervious to sticky or corrosive substances, and incredibly easy to clean. There is an inscription in an unknown language on the side of the handle, assumed to be a signature, or some sort of brand mark.

The knife is lightweight, and easy to use. It seems able to cut incredibly well through any ingredient, though, it won’t have any effect on things that aren’t considered food. While the knife is being used, it cannot harm anyone, such as its wielder or anyone involved, individuals using the knife will become much less prone to accidentally hurting themselves or general knife-related accidents, and any damage that would’ve been done from misusing it or accidentally using it, do not have any effect, and the knife seems to just “phase” through the user’s body or outright just not go through them as if it wasn't sharp or strong at all, but will still chop ingredients underneath. It cannot be used to harm others either, as it will simply phase through any person or animal it comes in contact with, regardless of context.

Addendum # 1 - Discovery Log: ITEM-023 was found in the scene of a seeming freak accident lodged into the head of a person who, assumedly died from it. It is assumed the knife somehow fell right in their head, killing them instantly. The effects of ITEM-023 were discovered when forensics, while handling the tool, realized the blade wouldn’t push past their skin or cut them no matter what they tried, and the company was notified.

A package directed at the owner that came with ITEM-023 was found with a note, written in very poor, broken English, signed in an unknown language, directed at the person who had had the accident. The note read as follows

“Hell o. This gift for you

You take gift

Peas

Gift for you, you was nice, (unintelligible) liked nourishment

Be good, have rest, cook more

(unintelligible signature)”

#the ferne company #ferne company #ferne item #item file #cooks best friend #item 023 #Site-12 #Site 12 #SCP #Scp inspired #marcy writing #shadowlucidmarcy #tumblr writing #oc #creative writing #writing #original writing #im slowly running out of fully finished ITEMs to post oh god or fuck

23. (Up to 20 seconds. You may use fast-motion or tight editing). When baking, measurements are vital to the culinary success of your creation. Small missteps will ruin your soufflé. Of course, measuring cups and spoons, over time, change size and volume due to humidity and aging. Let’s use a measuring device that you trust and know intimately: your mouth. First, figure out exactly how much volume is in you mouth and then use it to source and distribute all ingredients to bake a cake. You may not use any utensils or measuring devices. Grab whatever ingredients you use to make a cake and place them on your counter and then, without using your hands to measure or fill, fill your mouth with the appropriate amounts of each ingredient and then deposit in your cake dish.(Yes, this means you would need to “bob for flour” in your flour bag and then “mouth spout” it into your mixing bowl). Once the ingredients are all safely in the mixing bowl (again, delivered by your mouth), you are allowed to mix it with any device–as long as that device is a part of your face. Bake it and enjoy it with a loved one (without using your hands).