So, after calming down a bit, I’m going to answer the question (that is lost, because tumblr just doesn’t like me) of @ithastobeblue about Sungmin. Even though I can’t exactly remember what the question said and what I had answered back then, but ok, let’s try: So, I first wanted to thank you for clarifying that Leeteuk had said “that” (uhh, I don’t remember what it was, but it was something I reblogged last week or something ...) before Sungmin was discharged and not after. And that he is really just glad that Shindong is back and not because he is trying to throw shade at Sungmin or something. But still, I have real difficulties not being bitter and sad because of that Sungmin issue and that the members can’t let go of their own bitterness (not sure how to call it) regarding his marriage. I had really hoped that things would go back to normal once we’d get Ming back, but that is obviously not the case. So far Leeteuk has gone to welcome back every member after they were discharged. Except for Sungmin. It honestly broke my heart and I don’t even want to imagine how Sungmin felt about that. I try to explain and justify the members behaviour with them being really really busy (well, they are), but I just can’t believe that they are so busy that they can’t even welcome him back on SNS. I mean, they do update their social media so why can’t they just say something nice to put Sungmin’s heart (and mine!!!!) at ease. You can’t imagine how happy and relieved I was seeing Siwon posting a pic with Ming, because it showed that everything was ok between them. I don’t want them to do something big or anything, just a sign that things aren’t as bad as they seem. That whole situation makes me anxious, because it feels like things will only get worse from this point on. And to think that I was so optimistic regarding Sungmin’s discharge after one of the members (I’m not sure who said it, but I think either Teuk or Heechul) apologized for their behaviour at the time of the wedding and that they weren’t as supporting as they should’ve been. It made me so goddamn happy, because believe it or not, Super Junior members making mistakes and being so painfully human is one of my favourite things about them. I like seeing them messing up and then owning their mistakes. I like it when they are childish, angry or awkward with each other, because they are human and no human being can ever always be happy or content with another human being. I love that about them. But so far it was never so bad (well, maybe it was, but I don’t know) that I was actually questioning if things will ever get better. Maybe that whole enlistment got to me and is making me doubt everything, but I just can’t shake off that feeling. And the thing that frustrates me the most is that I need to know Sungmin safe. I want him to be happy without any guilt. His marriage to Sa Eun should never have a bad aftertaste because of the members. I wished so much that they would have his back when the fans decided to be shitty and giving him a hard time. I don’t want him to ever think with sadness back to the time he married the woman that he loves and for which he had to sacrifice so much. I don’t want him to regret something that should’ve brought him joy. He deserves that much.
