Fenris/Anders, SFW, Angst, 1800 words. To be continued. Doctor Anders and Mortician Fenris.
I am not good at writing angst so this was a test, noting gory but there is death or a minor character. Hope its okay, fluff will come soon!
Next part for the wonderful @ithinkitsdashing :3
Anders flopped on the creaky old office chair and stared at his pile of paperwork, sunlight just peering through the window. Pounces glazed eyes looked on without compassion for once, he didn’t like paper work either, far less enjoyable than helping the kids in his care recover from surgery or dealing with long term conditions. He loved the smiles on their faces when Pounce came to the rescue, taking nasty pain away and helping them learn the importance of caring for themselves.
Once this was done and dusted his afternoon would be free, that was the most important thing, he kept reminding himself that. He also wanted to go for an early round this morning as poor Tabatha would have come out of surgery and he wanted to make sure she was recovering well.
Today was going to be a good day, Anders could feel it, a happy little girl looking forward to going home soon, paper work cleared and done for the time being (before it piled up again), and a date with a handsome man who made his heart flutter. Yes, good day.
The mountain of paperwork was shrinking as the window of light spread across his desk, a few hours cracking through patient sheets and insurance forms had paid off and Pounces bored eyes lit up when Anders leant back and sighed, signalling a break and hopefully some cuddles from children exited to see the small bundle of fur.
BEEP BEEP BEEP
Catching a hold of the desk before he fell off the leaning chair, Anders fumbled for his pager.
“No.” The word was soft but urgent off his lips.
With great speed and the grace of a baby gazelle with legs a little too long for the rest of him. He charged out of the room, paperwork flying as he frantically made his way to the paediatric recovery room. Ponce had instinctively been put in his pocket without a second thought.
“No, no, no…” was whispered desperately as he charged down the white halls, skipping through a maze of people, with his eyes set on the colourful flowers at the end of the hall.
There she was, by the window on the furthest wall, it looked out over the garden, her favourite place, full of flowers and a swing that he pushed her on for hours when she first arrived, talking about what was happening to her and making her feel safe. Tabatha was such a kind soul, keeping Pounce close to her so he wouldn’t fall off, petting him and sharing her juice.
Nurses surrounded her, hands fluttered as medical equipment was pulled and pushed to where it was needed. Tubes and lines ran from her small body pumping and beeping, mercilessly holding life in her veins. She looked too fragile, too small, too overwhelmed.
Pleading eyes from all those in the room willed the small child to make it back to the waking world.
Anders had been calling orders and questions from the second he stepped foot through the door, seconds ticked by and it all felt so like he was running through tar as he reached for her hand.
His fingers wrapped round her limp fingers.
Then there was nothing.
Everyone stopped, it was like the whole world paused for a moment of silence. But it wasn’t silent, no, that sound rang in his ears, it tugged at his soul as the buzzing of a flat line filled the air.
“No.” Not even a whisper, barely a breath on his lips.
Leads and tubes slowly were removed from her body, each leaving deathly red marks on her skin, like scars.
He couldn’t pull his eyes away from her face, no longer a toothy smile or rosy cheeks. No smudge of paint or sparkle in her eye, no polite hand reaching for Pounce tucked in his pocket.
Pounce, he lifted the fluffy cat and gently cradled it in his free hand, still not letting go of her lifeless fingers. Gently placing the cat over her still heart, a prayer for none to hear flowed from his lips.
“In my heart, you live on
Always there never gone
Precious child, you left too soon
Tho' it may be true that we're apart
You will live forever... in my -” A ball of pain in his throat stopped all but tears from falling down his cheeks.
Free from her shackles a nurse covered the body with a simple white sheet. He couldn’t look away. A firm but gentle hand on his back lead him to the hallway, but the pain still followed.
She was talking to him, muffled words barely making it though the thoughts rushing through his mind. Something about office, going home, pounce, rest. He nodded absentmindedly before taking one shuffling step after another absentmindedly down the corridor. Soon he was in his office, staring at the inspirational posters above his desk, a multitude of cats and colourful fonts telling him to keep his chin up and keep meowving on.
“No! How? Why?” Before he knew it, he was walking that dark corridor again, through the chilly depths of the hospital. Steps not quite a run. He had one word in his mind. Why.
A gloved hand catches him on the shoulder just as a small table with a white sheet is rolled to the examination room. He keens forward leaning to see if it was all a mistake and Tabatha would be upstairs to greet him with a flurry of questions about how pounce was.
But no, that white sheet was the very same that tugged at his heart and soul.
The grip on his shoulder held fast, but gently gave way, only to have Fenris fill his vision, and thoughts of Tabatha disappeared for a split second before crashing back.
His brow was knitted, hair covered and scrubs from head to toe, the mortician meant business.
“Anders, you shouldn’t be here. Go home, look after yourself, we will find out what happened and tell you as soon as we can.” Fenris was firm but he gave a solemn smile when all Anders could do was stare at him, tears falling soundlessly.
“I have to know, I have to know what I did wrong, why did she have to die Fenris? Why?” Anders voice was flat, there was nothing left in him, he just needed to know.
A simple nod was all he got, every emotion welled up in him ready to break free before a strong hand entwined his fingers and started leading him away from the little girl he had failed. Numbly following, he didn’t take in the journey through the maze of corridors.
Soon he was being sat in a leather wing back chair in the corner of a small office. Fenris knelt in front of him, hands on his knees looking up at him with sombre eyes.
“It was not your fault Anders,” Mouth opening and clicking shut as fast as it opened when he saw the glare on the man’s face, softening when he was sure Anders wouldn’t interrupt “I will find out what happened. For the time being make yourself comfortable here for as long as you need, but please, stay safe.”
With that he stood up and silently left the room, gently clicking the door closed behind him with one final glance back at the stunned man in the chair.
He sat there, just processing the events of the day for maker knows how long. Slowly he stood and looked at his surroundings, having not taken them in in all the time he sat berating himself for what he could have done, been faster, changed her procedure before, checked all her medication, anything. It was useless, he was going round in circles.
A dark mahogany bookshelf lined the back wall, filled with books both medical and obscure, they seemed to be written in Tevene, not a language he understood in any way. After peering at a few he turned his attention to the art on the walls, flashes of colour with abstract shapes and dancing lines. How odd, Fenris didn’t seem like the type to have modern art, well maybe he was? His desk was neat and tidy, everything tucked away or in orderly piles. The want to snoop was strong, but he didn’t have the energy to even think about it.
The chair was too inviting and perhaps a book would take his mind off the questions running through his mind, muddling his thoughts and making him want to curl up in a ball and disappear from the world. His hand instinctively found Pounce, still safely tucked into his pocket, he rubbed the bold patch just under his chin out of habit.
The door clicked open and Fenris stepped into the room, still head to toe in scrubs. Anders couldn’t look him in the eye, he just looking for words that could express him properly, none came out.
“There is nothing you could have done” Fenris said, simply and without preconception.
“There is always more that could be done Fenris, what happened?” That’s when he looked the man in the eye. He wanted, no, needed to know.
It was a long moment before he replied, almost like he was weighing up what to tell him. Anders couldn’t take it any more as seconds ticked by.
“TELL ME” The word came out filled with fury, what did he do, what more could he have done? But the anger died as quickly as it washed over him, “please” His voice was so small now, all fight gone, he just couldn’t let it go, he thought all tears had pitter pattered out of him, but clearly not when they started rolling down his cheeks yet again.
“I will be back momentarily.” He was gone again, this time the door was left ajar, no click.
Anders stared at the book shelfs, waiting for the mysterious man to appear again. He didn’t have the energy to think about what was happening, he just wanted to know.
Time couldn’t be measured down here, no sun to give an idea of minuets and hours passing. Not even a damn clock, who doesn’t have a clock in their office?
“Let’s go, I will explain on the way.” That deep voice broke Anders musing about clocks and time and other darker things.
Fenris was not in scrubs, but dark jeans, trainers, leather studded jacket and grey scarf, he had a beanie in hand and was leaning in the door way without stepping over the threshold.
“I’ve spoken to admin and told them what happed, someone will cover my evening shift and they know you won’t be available tomorrow so have called in a cover.” He was so sure and solid that he just didn’t know how to react. A question on his lips lost with a slight nod of his head, anywhere was better than here.
“Let’s take you home, I will tell you what I can.” And with that, he was whisked out the door and down a different, or maybe it was the same, maze of corridors.
Fenris/Anders, SFW, Fluff, Intro, 400 words. To be continued. Doctor Anders and Mortician Fenris.
Next part for the wonderful @ithinkitsdashing :3
Another day, another double expresso, Fenris emerged from the shadows in his daily routine to shake off the dark circles under his beautiful glowing green eyes, his shimmering frosty hair flowi-
“-Stop, Anders, too much.” He silently berated himself as he shook the thought from his mind, he just couldn’t take his eyes off of the white-haired mortician as he silently watched his cup fill with the black, burnt swill this hospital called coffee.
They bumped into each other on occasion when their coffee runs collided, literally as it had last week, coffee and coco everywhere and a very flustered Fenris looked like a rabbit in the headlights before quickly retreating into the cold hallways. How could he have been so stupid, he was lost imagining what they would call their first cat that he didn’t notice that the wall he was about to lean on was slightly further away than he imagined. That had been mortifying.
“Oh shoot, he was coming over, why was he coming over, come on Anders, play it cool…” he whispered to himself frantically. Sitting at his desk he leant back on his chair and away from the paperwork he was spying over, trying to look nonchalant but by the look on Fenris’s face it wasn’t working.
“Are you well, Doctor?” Fenris said as he placed a cup on Anders desk, it smelled sweet, just the way he liked his coco. But his eyes were still transfixed on the hand hovering by the cup, glancing up he understood why. His mouth snapped shut with an audible click, ah yes, stop gaping, that would help.
“Fine, yes, fine, thank you. Um, why...?” He gestured toward the warm, enticing cup full of chocolaty goodness.
“I, wanted to check you were okay. I hadn’t seen you since our, incident. You were like a spooked cat, as you have such an affinity to them, I just. Well. Are you well, Doctor?” Oh, Anders really wish his voice wasn’t so deep and caring; he didn’t know how to respond to that, he tried his most dashing smile and a chuckle but apparently that wasn’t going to work. His throat was too dry, he didn’t know what to do, he used to be so good at this! When did he turn into a giggling school girl?
That perplexed look didn’t wain when a small smirk touched the side of those gorgeous bow lips. He just nodded and turned heel, a mummer of farewell and out the door he went, across the hall before disappearing into the midst of people.
Thump.
Anders head hit the desk for half a second before he shrieked and leapt back from his desk, graceful as a fish out of water, being chased by scalding hot liquid.
“NO! POUNCE?” The rest of his desk and paperwork can go to hell but not Pounce, his trusty toy cat that helps bring joy to kids shrouded in medical darkness. He would not lose him, not again. Cradling the one eyed ball of mottled fluff he watched the dark chocolate seep into dull paperwork, well, that’s one way to fall headfirst into a crush. Anders what have you done.
Hi, I was wondering if I could use a few lines from your poetry for a piece of fanart? It will be fully credited with a link both to your page and to the full poem, of course. I make no money from it (I do sell my art, true, but I would naturally not sell a picture that has someone else's poetry on it. That's theft.) I only thought that the poem fit the character very well. Please let me know, I will not post it until I have your approval.
Hi darling! Thank you so much for checking in. As long as you give me credit, as you said, I’m more than happy for you to use the poem. If you’re willing to share once it’s posted, I’d love to see it as well!
text overlaid atop the dragon age logo that reads “@ithinkitsdashing ithinkitsdashing is one of the first people i followed in this fandom, and he's such a kind and talented person. his art is beautiful and he has such a distinctive style, its instantly recognizable. he's always there to come through with the good anders/fenris positivity.”
Zevran met Anders at Vigil's keep before Anders knew he was with the commander. They flirted outrageously until there was a LOUD clearing of the throat from the doorway, and they turned to see Tabris making a very unimpressed face. Zevran laughed it off of course - his warden knew where his loyalty was, but Anders thought he was going to be thrown out for a moment there and was less amused. (Once things were cleared up and some time had passed, anders found it funny too)
YES!!!!!! i love this and anders’ “oh shit” moment is so good. i love wardens w/ loyal, loving relationships with zev who love him bc he’s such a ham and love all of his jokes and his teasing and each and every one of his dashing smiles ;_ ; he absolutely flirts with half the people he comes across
