Zoombies!
Or should I say movie with the worst special effects and lame man in gorilla suit. I shouldn’t be shocked that Netflix’s is catching on the fact that I love to watch bad movies (maybe they read my blog, wishful thinking) so I saw Zoombies as a suggestion since I’ve seen the movie Rubber (ugh that movie still haunts me). So I saw the One and Half star it got and I knew I had to watch it. The thing that drew me to the movie was the cover (click cover to see the cover). This was creepy I thought but it has one and half stars so I’m thinking yea the special effects aren’t going to be like this cover are they. And then I saw that it was made by The Asylum films. Oh boy if you never heard of them they basically are the makers of bad movies and bad movie rip-offs. Yes they made Sharknado (which I might review one day but I’m not sure when) but they also made rip-off movies like Snakes on a Train and Transmophers (they sell them to have old or dumb people that think they are Snakes on a Plane or Transformers). That’s when I thought I suffer so my readers don’t have to.
So the movie is what you might think it is, zoo animals turn into zombies. It takes place in a zoo named Eden’s Wildlife Zoo (get it cause it’s like the garden of Eden, ugh). This movie really reminded me of Jurassic World (if you haven’t seen Jurassic World there might be small minor spoilers just warning you). For one thing the woman in charge of the Zoo. Young boss lady. Ok maybe not the biggest thing that lead me to think it was Jurassic World. You of course have the cute little girl who is boss lady’s daughter (loves the man dressed in the gorilla suit, tough woman and man security guard who really shouldn’t be working at a zoo because they are over qualified. Nerdy guy who wears a suit on his first day as an intern (stupid freshman) and spoiled rich girl who is doing community service in a Zoo (if I ever get arrested, don’t want to, can I please do my community service in a zoo). There are other characters but let’s be honest they are just there for they are going to die purposes (all horror movies even the dumb ones have them).
The movie does have stock footage of real animals because I guess they wanted to show what real animals looked like,yes it’s Asylum films so they didn’t have a budget to get real animals. What makes me say that, well the fact that in the year 2016 we still need to use a man in a gorilla suit to make people think that he’s really a gorilla. I just laughed like really, we still use that. But that’s ok because it’s better than the special effects were. Now you know I just said how this movie reminded me of Jurassic World, well for one thing there were Jeeps. Yes JEEPS that were used in a zoo (I don’t get it. It’s a zoo, not a park filled with Dinosaurs). The fact that was a bird dome (yes that’s what I’m calling it and why does a bird exhibit need a big ass dome like that) that looked like Pterodactyl dome in that other movie.
So Yea these animals turn into zombies and all hell breaks loose. All these characters start getting killed by bad looking zoombies, including zombie giraffes trying to kill people and one time in a gift shop attack (just like THAT OTHER MOVIE). The group must stop the spread of this animal disease before they get to the bird dome where the birds will fly away to places and hope to spread to message of Eden’s Wildlife Zoo (got 5 stars on Yelp I heard). The movie does such a terrible job explaining how these animals turn into zombies( I just assume it’s fake science virus bull shit).
There are a couple of funny things that made me crack up. One thing I noticed is when boss lady(forgot her name, who the hell cares) calls her security people she uses her cell phone, they answer with their walkie talkies... Now I’m no phone or walkie talkie expert but I’m pretty sure that you can’t use your cell phone to talk to someone who just has a walkie talkie. The other part was when the little girl kills a zombie koala and says to her boss lady mother “I don’t like animals any more. I don’t know why but the way the little girl said it was just badly acted that it was funny.
So would I say watch it, yes but make it into a drinking game. Like take a shot if there is something that reminded you of any of the Jurassic movies, take a shot if someone dumb dies, take a shot if someone should of died but didn’t (like when people riding an elephant get thrown off the elephant and dont have any scratches on them what so ever). Or take a shot every time someone calls on their cell phone and someone else answer with a walkie talkie! If you want to see the trailer to see what you’re getting yourself into i’ll have a link below. Next week I’ll be away on vacation but the week after i’ll be back to review another terrible movie or show. So If you want to request a movie or show for me to review let me know and I’ll torture myself so you don’t (I smell my catch phrase)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jTFYtkhnBGw