ꜱʜᴀᴍᴇ?
𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐒𝐨'𝐥𝐞𝐤 𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫. 𝐔𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐚 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞. 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭, 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐈𝐭𝐮 𝐢𝐬𝐧'𝐭 𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮.
ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ(ꜱ): ꜱᴏ'ʟᴇᴋ x ꜰᴇᴍ! ꜱᴀʀᴇɴᴛᴜ/ᴛᴀᴍᴛᴇʏ! ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ, ɪᴛᴜ x ꜰᴇᴍ! ꜱᴀʀᴇɴᴛᴜ/ᴛᴀᴍᴛᴇʏ! ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ (ɪᴍᴘʟɪᴇᴅ)
TW: Angst, Shame, heart break, Itu comforts you. NOT EDITED.
A/N: I wanted angst and some heart break. This probably will make little to no sense.
Masterlist
You thought the relationship between you and So'lek was good. Special even. Since the first day you met, giving you a songcord and even returning your mother's songcord when he took it after what happened with the Mangkwan. That whole time, you began to feel things towards So'lek. Sure, he was a bit older than you and he thought you everything of what you know now. That didn't stop you from liking him. You liked him even more, seeing how he was a good influence to Teylan, Ri'nela and Nor. That was admirable of him. Till tonight.
You both had returned from a long walk. Laughing and talking about whatever. You thought things were fine. He seemed happy to be with you and just you. It made you feel something different. That's when you went for it. You got close to him, holding onto his strong biceps and kissed him on the lips. Or at least attempted to, you kissed his bottom lip. So'lek carefully grabbed you by the arms and leaned you back carefully. "What are you doing?" He asked, gently. Not accusing you. Just confused.
"You know, kissing you?" You said with a now nervous chuckle. You felt your face heating up by the now awkwardness. So'lek looked at you in the eyes, he didn't seemed happy. But more confused then a look of realization. "Oh.." He sighed, but he didn't let you go. "Look, sarentu." He tried saying but you chimed in. "Sarentu? You should know my name by now." You said, with a slightly annoyed tone. He sighed. "I didn't mean to offend you. But, us? We can't be an us." He said, you felt your stomach drop and hard, it made you almost sick. "No us? But we... So'lek. We have a connection, don't you feel it?" You asked. Now worried.
So'lek sighed, he was trying to form the words without offending you. "I didn't mean for my intentions to be seeing in that matter." He tried saying. "But, we can't. I'm not ready and you, must be confused. I don't blame you. You've been asleep for a while, I get that you may think these things. I apologize if I gave the wrong impression." He finished.
You stood there, quiet. Not sure on what to say next. Why did this hurt so much? You felt sick, your stomach curled uncomfortably and you felt nauseous. But you kept it together, like you always did. "Right." You managed to say. "I'm sorry for thinking things that probably weren't there." You said. Avoiding eye contact now. Because if you kept looking at him, you'd probably cry. You didn't want to cry in front of him. "You're taking his lightly." So'lek said, shocked but relaxed. He'd hate himself if he made you cry. "What? You expect me to cry? At least you told me something before you ghosted me." You said. Making sure to hide the wobble from your voice. "Ghosted?" So'lek said. "Sorry, dreamwalker language." You said, with a sigh. "I'll see you around then." You said, leaving in a hurry.
As you walked, you felt your eyes burning with tears and your throat tightening. That really just happened. Did you read the signs wrong? How can you be so stupid? He was nice to you and you think he wanted to mate with you? Was it because, he was ashamed to be seeing with you? A na'vi raised like a dreamwalker, a human. A demon. You're fool. He shows you acts of kindness and you created an illusion in your head. The next days of your life were going to be torture, you can't be near him for a while.
You were true to your word, you kept your distance from So'lek. If he heard his voice or picked up on his scent. You went a different direction. You did say hi to him, but was short and just went on about your day. Hoping you didn't cross paths with him at all. The wound still felt fresh. You'd even get nervous if he walked passed you. As harsh as it sounded, you really didn't want to talk to him. Cause if you did. You'd end up crying and begging for an explination.
You had managed to make yourself invisible. At least you thought you did. "Who are you hiding from?" You heard a voice ask behind you. Itu. Your once acquaintance, now friend. "Who says I'm hiding?" You asked. While sitting on a log behind some bushes covered in followers. "You're sitting here. Surrounded by flowers, almost blending in." He pointed out. You couldn't argue with him. He had a point. "It's nothing, just. Needed some time of my own." You said, going back to looking at the many species of flowers in front of you.
Itu approached, taking a seat next to you. But kept his distance. "You've been like this for days. You're tensed or if I'm not mistaken. Upset." He said. Man was he good. "A bit of both." You sighed. Not sure on what to tell him next or do. He stayed quiet, watching you. But not fully reading you. "Do you feel shame when near me?" You asked, quietly. Itu's ears perked up by your question. Shocked that you'd even ask him that. "Shame? No, why would I?" He asked. "I mean, come on. Look at me. I may be na'vi, but I'm not. I was raised like a dreamwalker. I learned to feel and think like them. I've held metal and..." You stopped. Not sure on what to add.
"You may have, but you were taken from your home. Very young, of course you'll adapt to be like them. But you're free to learn who you really are. Not what they want you to be or think." He explained. "And to answer your question. No. I'm not ashamed to be with you. I'm glad that I now have a friend like you." He said. Now you looked at him. Your eyes slightly glossy. He had a kind look on his face, very kind. He placed his hand gently on your chin. "You were there with me, when I needed someone. Not only did you save me from the Sky people, but you helped me put my Zomey go to Eywa. I will always thank you for that." He said, with a sad smile.
"Whoever is ashamed to be with you, is a fool. I would walk, ride and fly with you. Because that's my choice. I am not ashamed of you. I never was and I won't be." He said, looking at you directly in the eyes. You knew he meant it. You felt that he meant it. You felt your stomach lift in a way. You no longer felt as upset as you did. You felt a bit better now. "You should start coming to me more. I miss your company and I'm very happy to know your still here." He added, letting go of your chin. "I will, It'd be nice to be around my friend some more." You respond with an almost shy smile. Being around Itu might do you some good.