#ivan harper

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Frankie: Do you think we made a mistake..? Ivan: Far from it, Kiki.

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Frankie: I'm looking after my friend's dog-.. y'know, if you wanna come with? Frankie: Do you know your way around a fridge-.. as in fixing them? Frankie: Do you like classic cars? … Frankie: Would you-.. Pixie: [BIG GASP] Oh my god, LOOK! Wren: I swear to god, if you show me another bug… Pixie: No, look! My dad's kissing Frankie!!! Wren: So? Pixie: Sawyer, look! Sawyer: Ew. Pixie: Noooo, don't say ew! I knew they liked each other! Didn't I tell you?! Maybe they'll get married. Byrd: People don't get married after one kiss, do they? Sawyer: I dunno-.. but my mom told your mom she never wanted to get married EVER again. … Ivan: D'you fancy goin’ on a proper date? Frankie: Hah, shouldn't you have asked that before you kissed me? Ivan: Aye, maybe-.. s'too late now though.

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Frankie: Could you pass me that magazine we found? Ivan: Which one? Frankie: Ummm, I think I put it under the TV. [papers rustling] Frankie: Actually-.. wait! [Far too late, Frankie remembered what else was hidden beneath the TV] Ivan: Wha-… Frankie: If you love me even the tiniest bit, you’ll close your eyes immediately. Ivan: S’a bit late for that, Kiki. Frankie: They’re from ages ago! Ivan: But wha-… Frankie: They’re donors, okay?! Ivan: [laughs] I gathered that, but what’re ya lookin’ at those for? [Frankie shook her head, burying her beet red face into her hands] Ivan: C’mon, don’t be embarrassed! I ain’t interrogatin’ ya, I’m just curious. Frankie: [muffled] Isn’t it obvious? Ivan: Aye, but the thought behind it ain’t. Frankie: I abandoned the idea ages ago, so… Ivan: Humour me? Frankie: [sighs] I suppose I was just broody? When I finally left Lee, I thought “Well, I’m not getting any younger and nothing’s stopping me now!” Except the timing never felt right and money was tight and I’m always so busy. It would’ve been selfish of me, y’know? It’s just-.. it was a bad idea, so I shelved it. Ivan: Didn’t get rid o’ those though, did ya? Y’know, I always kinda wanted more n’ all. Frankie: Really? Ivan: Sure-.. figured it’d never happen though, so I shelved it too. … Frankie: We can’t… Ivan: It’s too soon…

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Oscar: Should we give it legs? Ivan: Why the fuck wouldn’t we give it legs? [Oscar pulled a face and jabbed Ivan in the ribs; he’d been in a mood all day] Ivan: Ugh-.. the fuck, bud? Oscar: What’s the matter with you? Ivan: Nothin’. Oscar: I can’t be arsed guessing. [Ivan sighed morosely, shaking his head] Oscar: Don’t make me nick that hammer. Ivan: Christ, fine-.. I think I might have a lil’ thing for Frankie. Oscar: So? Ask her out. Ivan: I don’t wanna-.. well, I do, but I’m not gonna. It’s just a brief crush. Oscar: Is it the tits? She’s-… Ivan: No! Well-.. I dunno, I feel like she’s got another side to her, like she’s secretly a bit spunky. Oscar: Alright, you’re banned from using that word. Ivan: It’s true! Oscar: [snickers] Go on then, why don’t you wanna ask her out? Ivan: ‘Cause she’s friends with Courtney. Oscar: And that’s bad because..? Ivan: It’d make things weird n’ she’d probably be pissed I chased a new-ish friend o’ hers away. Oscar: [sighs] She would not. Ivan: If shit went south she would. Oscar: Why do you always assume everything’s gonna go to shit? Ivan: ‘Cause it usually does. Oscar: No, it doesn’t, you just focus on all the all the negatives. Ivan: Bah. Oscar: Don’t bah me just ‘cause I’m right…

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Frankie: Go home, Lee, you’re drunk. Lee: This IS home! Frankie: NO, IT’S NOT!! Lee: Well, it should be! What’re you doing without me-.. think you can make it on your own? Frankie: Yes! Lee: You can’t live without me, admit it! Frankie: It’s been over two years at this point, I think I’m good. Lee: Two years of pointless, petty hell, sure! Frankie: Fuck off, Lee. Lee: And who the fuck is that, anyway?! Frankie: It’s none of your-… Lee: Are you sleeping around on me? Frankie: I’m not talking to you whilst you’re being this way, go home. Lee: Ahh, so that’s how you’re managing, is it? You’re a slut, Frankie, a no-good fucking slu-… [Lee choked on his words as Frankie’s palm collided with his cheek, stunning him into a brief silence] … Frankie: Well?! Lee: I want my truck back. Frankie: So, take it! It’s a bag of shit anyway. Lee: I wanna see Sawyer too, you can’t keep him from me!

Frankie: I can, and will.

Lee: I’ll take your ass to COURT! Frankie: Do it! Frankie: I DARE YOU!

…

Ivan: Well, uh.. y’lights are up. Frankie: You didn’t see or hear any of that. Ivan: Definitely not. Frankie: Thanks again-.. Sawyer’s gonna be so excited when he gets back, he loves Christmas. Ivan: Fairy lights make everythin’ better, eh? Frankie: Yeah…

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Frankie: I’m pregnant, not infirm. Ivan: [laughs] Shut up n’ gimmie! Sawyer: Ugh, they’re so annoying. Pixie: Would you rather be moving back in with YOUR dad? Sawyer: I think I’d like to live alone… Pixie: Oh, boo.

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Ivan: Y’pretty much good t’go, but… Frankie: It’s on its last legs? Ivan: ‘Fraid so. Frankie: I thought as much. Ivan: Y’could probably fix it up but it’d cost a fortune n’ there ain’t much point with all that rust. Frankie: No, I know.. it’s fine. [Ivan fell silent as Frankie stared at her old rust bucket dejectedly. She looked like she could use a cuddle but not everyone was a hugger and she seemed awfully skittish, so it probably wasn’t a good idea-.. besides, he was covered in oil] Ivan: Y’alright? Frankie: I guess I just didn’t think life would turn out this way, y’know? Ivan: Aye… Frankie: Sorry-.. thank you so so much, I’ll pay you back as soon as I can. Ivan: Nah, I do this shi-.. stuff for fun. Frankie: Really? Ivan: Yeah, s’fine. Frankie: Free coffee then? Ivan: That’ll do. … [seagulls calling] Pixie: Do you like Frankie? Ivan: Sure, why wouldn’t I? Pixie: No, I mean like like. [Ivan scoffed, shaking his head dismissively] Pixie: You never stop yourself from swearing like that though. Ivan: Well, she’s a polite lady-.. n’ y’shouldn’t have been listenin’ in, anyway! Jude: Did you know she’s divorced? Ivan: How d’you know that? Jude: Levi told me and Robin. Apparently, her ex is a complete twat and he’s constantly trying-… Ivan: Alright, let’s not gossip about the poor woman-.. christ. Jude: Just saying. Ivan: Yeah, yeah.. how ‘bout y’shut it instead.