Compiled, Edited, and Uploaded by: @six-stretched-thin-wings
Warnings!: Fluff and NSFW Content
DISCLAIMER!!!!!: THIS FIC CONTAINS FLUFF!!!!!! IF YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE FLUFFY SATAIVLIS, PLEASE BE RESPECTFUL AND DO NOT READ!!!!!
I DO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT SATAIVLIS IS A VERY TOXIC SHIP AND THAT THE RELATIONSHIP DEPICTED IN THIS FAN FICTION DEVIATES FROM CANON!!! THAT’S WHY I’M CALLING IT CRACK!!!! Well, that and one other reason, but that one is going to stay a mystery. ;)
Additional Notes: I accidentally gave Stan some maturity. Not a lot, but some.
Ivan slugged his way home and made it inside.
Once there, he takes most of his clothes off and crashes on the couch.
“Maybe…I should…nap..” He groans to himself, starting to fall asleep.
Before he’d had a chance to fully drift off, however, his phone chimes several times in succession.
It was a message—or rather, several messages—from Stan, an old friend from childhood that he still keeps in touch with.
On occasion.
The man’s so high energy, Ivan can only handle him in small doses.
The messages read:
“Hey Roachy~!!! 😘”
—God! He hated that nickname!—
—And the emojis—
“Just wanted to let you know~”
“That my extravagence is in town on business for the time being~! 🤗😄”
“So get your ass in gear and come meet me at the usual place!”
“And don’t even think about ignoring me~!”
“I”
“Know”
“You’re”
“Home~♡!”
“😉😘😙😚“
The usual place was a coffee shop by Ivan’s apartment building. In fact, it was so close by, Ivan could see it through his bedroom window.
…
Ivan was 100% certain that Stan spies on him from the roof of that building whenever he’s in town.
Especially at night.
Stan knew the owner of the shop, so there was absolutely no doubt about it.
Ivan growls.
“Why does Stan….?” He looks out the window to the coffee shop and growled once more.
Regardless, he still got changed and headed over to the coffee shop.
Oh, how Ivan loved the place. Actually, coffee was his number one favorite drink in the world. Especially if it’s made by Michael, the shop’s owner and barista.
M e a n w h i l e ….
Stan grinned behind a pair of binoculars as he watched Ivan from his hiding spot on the coffee shop’s roof.
Honestly, Michael was just too gracious♡!
His magnificence absolutely could not thank him enough for granting his splendiferous self access to this f a n t a s t i c view~☆!
Oh, but his dear Roachy had been so stingy~! Stubbornly refusing to share his new cell phone number! The nerve!
His excellence was forced to ask Becky for it, instead!
H o n e s t l y!
If he wasn’t so fond of—his-–Roachy, he would have given him a piece of his mind!
and before you ask—yes, the darling little airhead is his—or at least he🎶~ will🎶~ be🎶~!!!
Ivan looked around, but never spotted Stan. He sighed and went to Michael.
“Mike, a cappuccino, please.” He said, taking out his wallet.
“Oooooh🎶~! Rooooaaaa🎶~chyyyyyyyy🎶~!!!!”
The eccentric man had seemingly appeared out of nowhere, throwing his arms around Ivan to hug him from behind.
“I do hope my magnificence has not kept you waiting for long♡!”
Stan grins devilishly.
“There had been some tidying up to do back home,” he sighs, and rests his head on the other man’s shoulder. “After all, it’s been so long since my amazing self has been home!”
He’s so full of shit. He has maids to take care of the place while he’s gone.
Ivan grunted when the other wrapped his arms around him.
“You asshole…” He spoke, looking away with his eyes.
Of course he somewhat didn’t mean it…?
Well, after being called “Roachy,” the yeah, he meant it.
“Eeeeh~? Whaaaat~? What was that for?” Stan pouts and rocks back onto his heels so that he was now hanging off of Ivan.
“Stop calling me Roachy…” He muttered grumpily, sipping the drink that Michael gave him.
“ALSO, STOP HANGING FROM ME!!! FIND A SEAT OR GET OFF!!!” He shouted, annoyed by Stan’s clingy-ness.
“Awww~! But calling you ‘Ivan’ is just too boooo~riiiiiiing~!” Stan complained with a childish whine. “You’re no fun, Ivvy.”
Even though Ivan had just yelled in his ear, the flamboyant man made no move to remove himself from his irritated friend. Instead, he did the opposite and clung tighter.
“Oh~, but whyyy~ would my esteemed self ever do that~?” He said in a sing-song voice, grinning from ear to ear. “You should feel honored that my greatness has missed you!”
Ivan growled and hit him on the head.
“I SAID GET OFF OR I WILL RIP YOUR FUCKING LEGS OFF!”
Stan released Ivan with a fake pout when his head was struck.
“Fine-fine-fiiiiiiine~!” He raised his hands in surrender and plopped down into the seat next to Ivan.
“Mr. Grouchy.” He mutters under his breath, but it’s still loud enough for said grouchy friend to hear.
“You shouldn’t yell so loudly, Ivvy~!” He teased. “You’ll disturb the other patrons~!”
Another lie. The people who frequented Michael’s coffee shop were used to their shenanigans—even if their visits were few and far between—and so, they remained unbothered.
Newer patrons however, weren’t so lucky. The sheer amount of ho-yay shared between the two was enough to make any unsuspecting, “good” Christian cringe.
Most of the time, they just herded their sheltered and screaming hell spawn, and headed for the outside seating area. However, every now and again, a few…ahem…”concerned patrons”…would try to “correct” the two men or chastise them for doing such things “in front of the chiiiiil~dreeeen~!” With a “Have you no shame?!” And a “Don’t you think you should take that elsewhere?” or a “If you don’t stop, we’ll complain to the manager!”
Too bad for them. Michael don’t give a shit. So he hung a pride flag in the store-front window to deter such people from entering his establishment.
Sadly, he still gets a few every once in a while, so he keeps an extra, smaller pride flag under the counter to wordlessly wave in their faces while pointing at the door when they decide to get uppity.
Despite his negative Yelp! reviews, he still gets plenty of business. Not that Michael cares about his Yelp! reviews. He just made an account to shut Stan up.
Ivan ignored most of Stan speaking when the other finally stopped clinging to him.
“People can do squat with me.” He said, soon remembering. “Crap, that’s right, I got work tonight.”
He becomes child-like and giddy for the second time today.
“Nicholas DeVille is going to be at the museum tonight!” He squeals happily, already day-dreaming about the author.
“OoooH~! Reeee~allyyy~!” Stan said with a wide knowing grin, in what seemed to be mock interest. The man knew about Ivan’s little crush on the Ghost Writer, and one would think that Stan would be jealous.
—But he’s not—
In fact, all that precious little nugget of information seemed to do was make him even more smug.
“So that reclusive Romeo of yours is finally going to show his face, huh?” Stan rests his chin on his hand with a sly smile as he watches his friend’s infatuated giddiness.
‘Oh, Ivvy, you are just too cute♡!’ He thinks to himself.
“Wonder what the occasion is~?”
Like he didn’t know already, the smug fuck.
Ivan broke out of his thoughts and cleared his throat.
“He will be getting an award tonight, and I will be reporting it for my job.” He said officially, chest proudly puffed out and everything. It didn’t last long, for it was quickly replaced boyish glee.
“But finally getting to meet him is my d r e a m !” He gushes, blushing happily again. “I can finally get my copy of ‘Enchantera’ signed!”
“Which reminds me!...I have a free ticket.” He broke out of the cuteness.
“I mean...You are my best friend, Stan...Despite being shitty sometimes. Would you like to go with me?”
“Oh~, is that~ right~!” Stan gave Ivan a congratulatory pat on the back, slyly using it as an excuse to rest his hand on his excited friend’s shoulder. “Good for you, Ivvy!”
The rest of Ivan’s word’s became white noise as Stan immersed himself in watching the other’s eyes light up with joy and excitement.
What? It’s perfectly normal to study every inch of your friend’s face and revel in the beauty of their happiness. What’s wrong with you people?
Assuming things...
“...Well? Are you coming or not? I’ll invite Michael if you don’t accept.” He spoke, his cuteness gone like the wind as he now sounded serious.
Unfortunately, Stan was still trapped in his reverie.
He wasn’t gay for Ivan. Don’t be absurd!
He was joking, of course. He knew he wasn’t fooling anyone.
Ivan sighed and sipped his cappuccino, soon finishing. He lays a five dollar tip on the table.
“looks like I’m going to have to find someone to go with tonight. I need to get my suit ready.” He spoke, starting to stand.
Stan was snapped out of his reverie when he felt Ivan attempt to get up and leave. It dawned on him that the other had asked a very important question.
He had to try REALLY hard to pretend he heard all of that.
“Whaaaaat~?! You want me to accompany you?!” He fanned out his fingers as he gestured to himself in surprise. He even dropped the self-reverential pronouns to hopefully distract from his obvious ignorance. It was a nice attempt at a save, but...
“Why, I would be so honored to share the most important night of your life with you!”
That, was in fact, a genuine statement.
Even though he had expected the invitation, he was still flattered. He knew how much Nicholas DeVille meant to Ivan. The mysterious author’s books had given his dear friend an escape from his abusive father, and had acted as his life line when he was kicked out of his home before their second year of highschool. Only a fool would belittle such a request.
With a genuine smile, Stan gave Ivan’s shoulder a gentle squeeze.
Only a fool would be unmoved by their own influence.
“. . . . . . . .”
“Wait.”
Stan’s face suddenly became serious.
“You’re not seriously going to wear T H A T ratty old thing, are you?!” Stan was exaggerating again, the suit wasn’t in that poor a condition. “You’ve had that dusty old thing since h i g h s c h o o l g r a d u a t i o n !”
“Now I may have been lenient in the past, letting you wear that thing for College Gradutation and what have you--” He continued, appalled. “--but tonight is far too important to wear just any old suit!”
Stan had a detemined look on his face. Uh oh.
“I’m taking you shopping.”
((I hope you guys enjoyed the five minutes I stayed in character. It’s all down hill from here. TT_TT
On another note, I had to break this apart because it was too long.))
