In Other News, I'm Now a Serial Killer
Here's the scenario,
I'm driving home on Saturday night. It's late. I'm tired.
The cast and crew had just wrapped filming for our episode, "Clown Hunt" and I was passing through Beverly Hills, enjoying a post-victory McDonalds meal.
Quick side note, there's a special place in Hell for McDonalds employees who forget to give you dipping sauce for your McNuggets. Yes, I should check the bag before I leave the drive-thru, but I've got better things to do. Like whine about first world problems.
Anyways, I'm ten minutes from home when suddenly I see the red and blue lights of a police cruiser flash directly behind my car.
Now I was particularly fearful for three reasons:
# 1 - I'm black.
# 2 - I'm black in Beverly Hills.
# 3 - I'm black, in Beverly Hills and my backseat was filled with props including: mouse traps, bear traps, a fake crossbow, a fake switchblade, duct tape, a ventriloquist puppet, more duct tape, night vision goggles, two giant stuffed bears and two VERY realistic fake pistols.
This was not good.
As I pulled over, I remembered that my tail light had been busted for a week. However, this did nothing to stop the massive panic attack brewing in my mind as the cop approached my window.
Then, in what can only describe as a miracle, the officer said one of the most beautiful sentences I've ever heard...
At this point, I should point out that I had been working at the District Attorney's office as a receptionist for about a year. Every day I'd see various cops/detectives and they all seem to like me on account that I try not to be a dick while I'm on the clock. By the grace of god/jesus/buddah/whoever you believe in, one of these officers happened to be right in front of me.
Officer: "Hey! You're headset guy! Did you know that your tail light's out?"
Me: "Yeah, I'm sorry, I haven't had a chance to get it fixed yet."
Officer: "Well, how far do you live from here?"
Me: "A couple blocks away."
Officer: "Cool! Well drive safe, get it fixed tomorrow."
Me: "Seriously?"
Thus began the happiest car ride of my adult life.
That is, until I got home and remembered the ticket I got from a different cop earlier that morning.
I didn't know him.
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