Commentary on Interview With The Vampire - Episode 1 (Spoilers)
Barely fully in and it already looks beautiful. Was the budget in the billions because this shit is so crisp, fuck!
Hannah Baker was out-fucking performed. TAPES RO HARRASS A DYING MAN WHO DIDNT USE YOUR VAMPIRE SECRET? Lestat would be so proud!
I am so happy this is the direction they chose — brining us to modern time, the only time I wanna hear about the pandemic in entertainment media. And all while humanity does, Louis is stuck in his high tower with some high tech ass Dubai apartment? Purr.
Nvm, Mans seem sick of it lmao. Stuck there in his own personal house-coffin (I’d still prefer a coffin, and I feel like Lestat would have never chosen a place penthouse. He’s too French for modern builds. “Louis? NO QUALITY WOODEN COFFIN?” He’d say, in a French accent, in disgust.
I am a whore for period piece and they’re taking us to 1910 AND New Orleans? Spoiled. We’ve been spoiled.
Gosh the vulgar language, I am shaking from excitement! Pls!
I know a lot of black folks hate it when they have the white say the n-word, but that ‘unhand me nigger’ comment killed me, that white man forgot where he was for a second
I too agree, anal without consent is against god (I screamed, the whores are funny)
Not Paul tryna play captain save a Ho, man’s brough a Bible Too — I love him.
THE BRAWL! And this whole time Lestat is watching like it’s forplay for later.
HE PULLED A SWORD ON HIS OWN BROTHER? That’s cold Lou, but I respect it, gotta do what you gotta do.
Lestat watching, BRICKED UP, and I cannot believe nobody’s falling in love like this ANYMORE. WE USED RO BE A SOCIETY! (How I imagine Lestat internally, as he watch his man pull a whole sword out of his Pimp 3000 Cain)
Pls not the disgusted faces on the white men watching Louis walk in!!! Fighting for their lives to not say sum — TRY IT :^b
The lines should have been “damn so they just letting anybody in” so I could have really lost it. His racism wasn’t racist enough — I predicted they’d make him a proper French (racist) but they didn’t drive it all the way, and I get why. Can’t have the protagonist calling the other protagonist a nigger after all (well I haven’t seen Ep. 2 so perhaps) but it would be accurate. I just don’t believe white ppl weren’t racist, even the DOCTOR was sliming it around and that’s the homie, y’a know?
Awww Lestat is like a tarot girlie after watching one Tiktok reading and suddenly she sees 11.11 everywhere. “Ah Louis?! I was heading to St. Louis? Hahah so you’re my saint haha”, Lestat pls you look desperate pls breath baby breath (same tho)
His French is so good!  Ça m’a pris par surprise! Qu’est-ce qu’il est français ou il est juste un bon acteur? I could Google it, but how else will I flex that I too, speak French. Lestat is actually my cousins neighbor, oui oui baguette.
LMAOOOO “that explains the attire” SHOTS FIRED. Man’s came for his whole fit, and Lestat laughed it off cuz he’s in love, wow.
Lestat is such a scorpio sun libra Mercury scorpio mars because who tells a story, LEANS FOR A SLUTTY KISS and continues with the same elegance? He’s such a slut, I love it!
The way he just had foreplay and the whole time Louis fighting for his life to not bust. Cuz what? Watching a man touch a woman that way with their gaze fixed on you only? He’s playing with you Lou! RUN (not to fast tho, make it clap as you go tihi)
Am I wrong for thinking Louis was not just mad that Lestat froze him but that he knows without much effort? He knows Louis a raging homosexual and it’s been what? Minutes? Pls!
“I’ve emptied a bank volt to sample” LESTAT! He’s a whore but I’m still shocked, I knew this BUT IM STILL SHCOKED!
He really saw Louis in the act for seconds and decided to not just stay but get a home, furnish it, get a wardrobe, ignore that it’s basically a red light district (sure there’s buisness but he comes off too french to ever accept to live near the sound of cheeks being clapped) JUST cuz Louis is there. When will it be me god?
“You are his destiny Louis”— istfg if I do not experience this soon I will combust. PlS!
The bidding war was so hot and then he placed his ring and I felt it in every fiber of my being. Can’t beleive Lilly didn’t say ‘just get y’a cocks out and let’s do it the proper way’ the way they were slinging
Louis’ idk if I wanna be him, beat him or fuck him moment was real, man’s was fighting gay thoughts with all his might (and looses, later)
His mind filled with just Lestat huh? So the gay thought’s won? I wonder if he tells Lestat that? If he does I think lestat’s head will grow too big for his hats.
Thé poker game was smooth and I love how Louis just went meh, and didn’t question the time freezing, the voice in his mind or the enormous compliment — you are worth more, king. Big ups.
Pls Not them having put and Louis bring smt to read, he’s such a weirdo bro we know you know he’s basically taking you out on dates and you love it! PUT THE BOOK DOWN AND FLIRT BACK *holds up a gun*
THE CINEMA! Such cultured lads! I love them. Out here watching while Lestat watching his snack, I MEAN HIS MAN, I MEAN HIS BUISNESS PARTNER
‘He’s not white he’s French’ — this is what all white Man’a whore tell themsleves. Didn’t I fucking predict they’d say that? Lmaoo I did!
NOT HIM CALLING HIS MOM MAMMA DU LAC! He’s tryna fit in and Paul fighting back from saying sum (not too hard tho cuz now he’s going in lmao GET HIM LIL BRO)
“What’s the nature of your relationship with my brother” All my mind can think off is ‘everybody knows… everybody knows that he fucks you’. Cuz why would he ask that? Clearly that’s your future brother in law AND PAUL KNEW! The voices told him he was amongst the gays tihi
Okay Lestat pls don’t trauma dump on Paul lmao, answer the question or politely ignore it cuz I feel like Paul has some ‘you’ve got the wrong time but the right bitch’-him and just swing cuz what? But I think he’s being pulled in so he couldn’t even move if he wanted to.
NOT LOUIS SETTING IT STREIGHT! Idk why I thought he’d be a pushover after all the dreamy stairs Lestat has given him:)
This is all I can imagine Lestat thinking as he dinned with black ppl probably for the first time ever — rich and educated at that.
Please! A Lilly for his front pocket and a Lilly for Louis to do nothing with but entertain him, tihi
Not her revealing he’s gay, girl, bffr. “It’s okay” this strange white man now knows too fucking much babes but whatever
THE ALMOST TOUCH! I had to close the screen sorry I am used to fluff only (no I am not, but that yanked me)
now he’s in his head, fucking his mind and eyes and watching him get hard for him cuz Lilly ain’t doing shit but be a buffer. A pretty buffer getting a taste of Lestats man FOR NOW! Good *gets closer to screen* IS THAT FINGER SUCKING? Even pulling away in disgust was not convincing babes, !BE WHO YOU ARE!
THE FIGHT FOR DOMINANCE! MY GOSH AND THE RELEASE! It’s like he was pretending before going full ‘yeah now after we’ve kissed and touched titties, you know I’m into it so let me chill’ and he went lax, and now they floating, fucking and sucking. Gosh, this better win an award.
No because I fully beleive being drank from by a vampire is the closest thing humans will ever get to experience true euphoria and that’s why I will not simply be turned immediately. MAKE ME YOUR BLOODBAG FOR AT LEAST SEVEN DAYS AND SEVEN NIGHTS PLS I need to feel the THRILL
That was the most romantic, tender yet agressive love making bloodsucking scene I’ve ever witnessed. I’m bricked up, down there and up here (holds heart)
The wedding! This about to be good cuz y’all know black ppl know how to celebrate!
ARGH THE MONEY TO HER DRESS! The diaspora is ALIVE!
Thé dancing! Arghhhh this show is so freaking black, I love it! Anne is probably rolling in her grave, arguing with Satan to be resurrected so she can sue. Love it here
THE THROWN MONEY! YAAAAAAAS! Y’all don’t understand! This how we really be!!!! Black folks RISE! This one’s for us!
Now they climbing a whole roof just to … see the sunset? Babes… bffr.
Awww “I love you-“ why did that sound like a Goodby! Where is HEGOING NO-
Noooooooo! I’m fenna cry, PLEASE NOT PAUL! (I knew he dies but I also forgot but I also was just enjoying myself and they caught me slipping. Now I’m pausing to take deep breaths…)
And that was his last sunrise? Yeah, cuz the fucking cameras.
Pls not death is boring… Speak for yourself, some of us have yet to try >:( ( but I’ll probably agree. It’s so inevitable like boo, give us smt fresh, smt unexpected!)
Not his mama tryna blame him… pushed? Babes be fucking Fr rn. Fuck sakes. And his sister not defending or nun. She probably wanted him gone and now she got it.
I just feel bad cuz suicide is a sin and still he did it :/ sad.
MANS PULLED UP TO THE FUNERAL! Lestat you are sick (I love it). PLEASE NOT HIM ACTUALLY NOT GAF! Didn’t even wear black, even tho I know that wardrobe fully stocked!
“Not here” Louis says and Lestat is on sims ‘I texted, I called, I send a pigeon and nothing, ignoring me huh?
THE GASP THAT LEFT ME! NO LESTAT YOU CANT SAY THAT AT THE WALK TO THE FUNERAL! All in attempt to ‘pick me, choose me, love me’ into Louis’ heart, now Louis ready to fist fight you in the same streets you fell for him tsk me tsk tsk. Maybe y’all should step to the side and kiss. Cuz clearly Lestat was NOT leaving …
This is the lvl of toxic and possessiveness I thought I’d see in twilight… y’all fooled me. Cuz Bella would have loved this ngl and I’d have loved it more but Edward is a runner and a track star. Lestat tho? He’d probably kill the whole town for Louis to notice him.
This man went to the burial, didn’t even wait for his obsessive fangirl behavior, AND he killed Lilly leaving nobody for Louis to turn to. Now man’s fighting for his life and all I’m wondering is why no other vampire in history has ever been this obsessive so I’d know this is how fucked up I am (derogatory) wow. Went to every fucking limits just so Louis wouldn’t know peace.
NOT THE CONFESSIONAL WITH THE PRIEST! Louis you don’t even beleive! It’s giving “Ariana! What are you doing here!”
Did Lestat not think of the priest? Tsktsk didn’t even eliminate all sources of outlet! Should have burnt the church, house, brothers and had every townsman flee just to get a text back. For legal reasons I am joking…
Nvm, he barely got into the juicy bits before man’s was dragged out and is now being devoured. (Kinda hot. Didn’t even let Louis finish)
At this point, whenever Louis doesn’t breath is Lestat direction it’s PICK ME CHOOSE ME LOVE ME. He’s so obsessive *plays obsessed by Mariah Carey*
All I see is Lestat being so angry and hurt that Louis went to confess to a god he does not beleive in before he came to Lestat. Like damn. You’d rather come here then come to me ? “Do I mean that little to you-“ type of hurt. :( Aww babes, he’s just afraid cuz once he comes to you, it’s over. That’s the beginning of a life he doesn’t beleive he can have and he’s want all of you … can’t be gay and black in these parts (time + place) I fear
Please not the stabbing! 😭 babes pls you know this man isn’t a regular man, he drank from you and you decided to never speak to him again for a reason.
Pls not the slowmo! It looks so fucking cool! Even when he eats ppl it’s so agressive and looks so painfull! Love messy eater vampires.
“I’m not the devil- but I can give you death-“ Pls why has nobody offered me this ?? It’s not fair! “I love you Louis, you are loved.” Nawl I’m fenna cry. (And I am crying)
Envious that this is not my character arch, I am stuck consuming it rather then being CONSUMED! He wanted to create an infinity Between them. Remove death AND life from the equation!
That was the most beautiful asking ever. The way their just :’) This is such a tender, romantic, loving moment. That moment was … beautiful. I have no words! I too forgot the barbaric scene (lmao as did Louis ofc)
AND THEN CAME THE NOD! THE KISS AND THE BITE! The way he kissed him, alone, I could tell he released all fears and pain he had in this life. Fear of loving a man, of being who he was, pain of being at fault for things — for his role as a pimp, him as a son, a brother to his brother, a provider for his family. The one who promised his father strength without truly ever wanting it but doing it because he was good at it. He was hurting so much and Lestat just liberated him (too bad Louis doenst realize this too is a prison, but with a nice view, unhinged love of your life and a future daughter, have fun)
That was perfect. The description of the transformation — THE HAARTBEATS! Gosh I wanna be able to have senses heightened this much! ImGAINE!
I am SCREAMING it was so quick! I’m a whore for varsity in transformations! Some vampires die and require burials. Some are dead for much longer! EVERYYING! EVERYTHING
This was dead ass the best vampire tv show I’ve ever seen. They gave me black ass moments and I am living! TENDERNESS, POSSESSION! OBSESSION, trauma, laughter, depth! Script was INCREIDBLE! These are really good writers! What a team! And the actors? Give those two their fucking awards RIGHT NOW!
I cannot believe we’re witnessing the best vampire show unfold right before us.