warnings: blood, a gunshot wound, slight alcohol use
opening: A medic, you get shot in a crossfire. It’s only after things have settled a little that anyone has time to notice you. No one but you are used to removing bullets, so obviously the crew chose the next most experienced pirate to help you with your instructions. Izzy.
AN// Reader can be any gender! I finally started watching this series, after putting it off for so long and oh my god do I love this man more than life itself. I would die for him. Anyway, sorry if this is a little ooc, I’m learning how to write for him ! Requests for him would also be lovely, I have so many ideas that I don’t even know what to write :D
“What kind of a moron gets shot…”
The feeling of rain hitting your face kept you to your senses, additional moisture to the already wet wooden deck you were laying on. At least you had made it back, but that did not remove the fact that someone from the other ship had gotten a good shot at your thigh. For that reason, you didn't mind the wet fabric sticking to your skin. The waves of pain radiating from your thigh were enough to keep your mind from thinking of anything else.
Your body curled up a little, hands going to hold the place of the wound on their own, or at least that’s what it had felt like. Like your body was moving on its own. There wasn’t much of a thought process happening in your mind, though it felt like you should have known what to do. You’d removed more than one bullet in your time, and it wasn’t a rare procedure to perform for you. But never could have you guessed the amount of pain a bullet wound caused. You’d only ever helped someone else and seen them try their best to stay still for your sake. As much as you had hoped these thoughts would have distracted you from the pain, they didn’t. The pain was still raging, making you groan and grunt silently against the deck. Or at least what you thought had been quietly up until voices became audible around you. They’d been there before as well, but they’d become somehow louder by now. Like the people that sounded further away were now closer. The crew must have noticed something was wrong.
You opened your eyes, still curled up on the deck. Most of the crew were there, standing near you. From your perspective and what was left of your vision, they seemed concerned. But probably rightly so. Most of them had become quiet, only light chatter among them. “Well, fucking someone help me.” You growled, allowing the words to come out and going back to gritting your teeth straight after. The chatter got louder for a moment before someone was pushed out from the group. By the sound of his voice, you identified him quite easily. The first mate of Blackbeard’s, Izzy. He did not sound keen on doing this, insisting for someone else to do it before accepting his fate. But you and mostly everyone else in the crew seemed to agree on him being the most experienced for this, after you.
You knew their first idea would have been to just cut off the whole leg, but for the amount of times you’d helped them you were hoping they’d see this as owing it to you and actually helping.
Your vision was getting a little more blurry, not badly but enough to make things a lot more confusing. You tried to keep a straight head, knowing you’d have to assist Izzy while he got the bullet out. While these thoughts were running through your mind, two of the crew members of which you hadn’t seen who carried your form to the lower decks. No more of the rain, you thought. They cleared a table, and by the sound of it they must have just sweeped the items on it to the floor and placed you on the smooth surface instead.
There was a moment of silence before through your haze you could hear Izzy’s voice clearly. “Well, fuck off? No need for an audience.” He said, and by the sound of it the people previously there made their way back up. “Cut the…the pant leg.” You said, not wanting to waste any more time. Izzy looked at you, doing as you said but with slight hesitation. “How does a medic manage to get shot?” The first man asked in a voice you wanted to believe was annoyance, trying not to find a hint of worry from his voice. You didn’t want to imagine a man worried for your life trying to save it. “Guess the bullets couldn’t resist a…a checkup.” You took a quick breath, gritting your teeth as the fabric was pulled off from over the wound. Izzy didn’t say anything to that, perhaps it had been a bad time to joke either way. You didn’t have time to waste, for anything from the bullet could leak to your bloodstream if you kept stalling. “T-take off yer belt-” You had to take a breather before continuing, but that was enough for Izzy to give you a dirty look, which you were glad you couldn’t see properly through the slight blur. “And wrap it a little higher from the wound…” You finished the sentence, trying to stay still on the table. “Gathered that much.” He said, voice still stern as he undid his belt and wrapped it tightly around your thigh. “Get yer knife…and dig..dig the bastard out.” You breathed out, closing your eyes for a moment as you braced yourself for what was about to come.
The sound of Izzy taking out a knife from his belt opened your eyes once more. You took a weak hold of his wrist before the first mate was able to start the process. “If I lose consciousness after…take the fabric you removed and..and use it to close up the wound after cleaning with rum…” You instructed him before your hand let loose from his wrist. His eyes were on you, you could feel it. Yet, he did not say a word. It worried you, but you didn’t want to tell him that. You wanted to think that he didn’t care. As many times as you had spent time with him, he did not care for you. Maybe, just maybe, he enjoyed talking to you from time to time.
You took a hold of the edge of the table, which was worth it. Because as soon as Izzy had dug the knife into the wound you screeched. Using the palm of your hand to cover the rest of the horrendous noises leaving you, feeling hot tears push their way through and fall down the sides of your face. The gritting of your teeth helped, somewhat. The feeling of the blade hitting the bullet sent a mix of shivers along with waves of pain through your body.
You tolerated it for a while, in a way proud of yourself for that, this being the first time a bullet was being removed from you. Though, that did not last long.
The dim lights in the lower deck began to seem darker, and your body wasn’t contorting itself the same way as before. In a way you felt more relaxed this way, though the darkness that had started to slowly surround you was something you didn’t look forward to. A faint sound of the bullet hitting the wooden flooring as the knife left your body was the last thing you heard. Your consciousness faded away, leaving Izzy alone with bloodied hands and a mess on the table.
His gaze shook a little, but he stood still at the table. Thanking whoever had left a bottle of rum in the lower deck. Izzy took a hold of the brown bottle and took a swig from it himself. With a second to think, he poured the liquid from the bottle straight onto the wound. It felt odd not to hear you instruct him, not that he needed it anymore. But you being so silent, seemingly dead to anyone else's eye who might have walked past, it shook him a little. As many people as he had killed and seen dead, none of them had affected him this way. The thoughts of your death filled his mind for a brief second, before the first mate shook them away. He wasn’t sure how much to pour, stopping eventually. He thought you might like the rest of it once you woke up. In his experience, rum was good at numbing feelings. Just what pain was, only a feeling.
Izzy wrapped the wound best he could, leaving the belt on. You hadn’t told him what to do with it after, and that had only now occurred to him. As much as his duties would have commanded for him to leave you with the rest of the crew, he did not want for you to wake up in the noise and smell that was the crew’s quarters. Was what he told himself, not being able to ask for your opinion.
He might have not been the tallest man on deck, but that did not mean he was weak in any way. He picked you up easily, carrying you to his quarters. Barely a spot for sleeping fit there, but he managed.
The first mate laid your still form onto the small bed, seating himself onto a box next to it. His eyes stayed on the bed for some time before a sigh left his lungs, turning his eyes to his hands. He placed them over his face for a while, the burning feeling of tears trying to push through all too familiar at this point. They never truly fell down, so it did not count as crying for him. A pirate didn't cry.
So he sat there, the held-back tears reddening his eyes a little as he leaned on the wall behind him and stared at the other in front of him, keeping his gaze up. He felt conflicted, more so than usual. He hadn’t thought of you, not of how much he seemed to care. Sure, the two of you had spent an odd amount of time together, but you preferred to be alone or at least at the sidelines, so did he. So, for long it had been a coincidence that you bumped in together. And during those times you spent together were almost enough to make him feel alive again. But when you didn’t, was when he truly felt lonely. And so he did now, now when you were unconscious.
A sharp breath drawn by you caught his attention back. The end of it started sounding more like a hiss than anything else. Your eyes tried to open slowly, but the sheering pain forced them to snap open with yet another hiss. You curled up on the bed before your eyes landed on Izzy. His mouth was slightly agape, but soon realised to hand you the bottle from earlier which you gladly accepted. After a long swig you handed it back to him, hand shaking ever so slightly. Eyes focusing on him now, vision back to what you remembered as normal. Even with Izzy keeping his gaze quite low, you could see the slight tint of red in his eyes. The first mate hadn’t said anything yet, so you decided to break the silence. “Have you been crying?” Came out rustier than intended, but the teasing tone of voice was still clear somewhere in there. Izzy’s jaw tightened, but he must have backed away from what he wanted to say. “Sod off.” He looked away for a moment, expression much softer after from what you could tell. Though, he seemed stiff. Like he was shaken in a way you’d never seen him before. “Izzy-” You sighed, not sure what to say to him, so instead you thought of something else. His other hand was resting on the edge of the bed. Expecting him to pull away at the very least, you placed your hand on his, but he didn’t. He allowed your slightly warmer, shaky palm to warm his colder hand, badly wiped away blood dried on it. “Thank you.” You said silently, not to disturb the oddly peaceful silence that had formed from the slightest of connections. Izzy turned to you, moving his hand further on the bed, not adding anything to that. The touch was a thank you enough, more than enough to him.
readder takes a bullet for izzy. need this fic asap. omfg. did u want finale yet???
Izzy x Reader
words: 1700
google docs pages: 3
warnings: ! S2E8 Spoilers (Kinda?) ! Gunshot wound, mentions of smoking and drinking, blood, death
opening: Ricky turns to fire his pistol and run, but you saw it coming and push Izzy out of the way.
AN// Reader can be any gender! I can’t even lie, my angst loving heart was highkey excited for this one XD Thank you for the request, I love writing stuff like this !! This shall also heal my soul after watching ep8, I’m still a mess from it waaa
“I’ll wait for you”
The long ferns dragged along the freshly stolen British navy coat as you made your way towards the shore with the rest of the crew. Your palm was around the handle of your sword, still convinced that this was a clear suicide mission. There seemed to be absolutely no chance for the whole crew to make it alive all the way to the ship and to make an escape. The Republic of Pirates was swarming with British soldiers, every corner being watched and checked actively. Though, you weren’t going to try and stay here either. You’d rather die as a pirate than get captured and be hung by the British.
Izzy marched a little ahead of you with Ricky. You weren’t sure why he had been put in charge of the man, but there was no use in asking for him to hand over the job to you. He was still the first mate, and as loyal as he was he continued on with his duties. You weren’t scared for his sake, he was most certainly a more skilled fighter and a sailor than you were. But there was always the what if, at the back of your mind. As far as you knew, the whole area was surrounded by British soldiers. Each and every time you’d peeked to take a fast look, at least three men stood near with their guns. So the odds of one of them spotting the group and shooting weren’t nonexistent.
Blackbeard and Izzy had a long history together, but so did you and him. From what you’d talked with Izzy, you’d joined the crew only a short time after him. The man wasn’t even the first mate just yet, which was one of the reasons why you’d dared to start chatting with him in the first place. By God, you wouldn’t have started hitting up someone in a much higher position in the crew just after joining. But there had started your decades long, complicated relationship. He’d always been a little snappish, and that had only amplified once he was given the position as first mate. But every time you’d been with him at the sidelines where he usually spent his time, he was just slightly different. He was the same man, but like there was less of a wall he had to keep up. So because he was seemingly comfortable with you around, you sometimes spent time with him. Share cigarettes, watched him carve figures out of small pieces of wood, whatever he was doing. Sometimes there were no words, just silent companionship. At times the air felt tense, and at some point that wasn’t just an itch you had sometimes. There was real tension, but neither of you addressed it. All the way up until you’d sat down to drink a bottle or two of rum with him. There were not many memories of said night, just one of the tension breaking kiss you’d shared with him. And of course the morning after, and the days that followed. The silence that suggested the both of you being at loss of what to do next.
Your eyes focused on the soldiers in front of you, listening to Ricky speak to them as he’d been told to before. So far the plan was going as intended, but that wouldn’t last for much longer. The prince swung around, alerted the soldiers that the group he was with were pirates and pulled out his pistol. Your eyes widened and without more than a second to think you pushed the man next to you. There wasn’t time to check if he'd landed okay, since that hadn’t been a part of your plan, only to get him out of the bullet’s way. You heard the thud as he fell over, and soon after followed one of the most agonizing pain you could have imagined. The bullet must have hit you instead. There was no time to properly locate where it had hit, but you didn’t have to just yet. As long as you could somewhat walk, that was enough, since after you’d made it to the ship you could take a look at the damage.
The rest of the unit had heard the gunshot and were hurrying to the scene. You reached out and offered a hand for Izzy, the other hand holding the spot you could see blood seeping through. He took a hold of your hand, noticing that something was clearly wrong. You could see his mouth open slightly, but before he was able to question you, you let go of his hand and pushed him forward by his back. “Fuck off, go!” You growled, eyes scanning the area for the easiest way out.
The walk to the shore was a blur. You could tell you were stumbling, even the smallest of rocks getting in your way. Izzy was walking in front of you, but you could tell he was stalling more than a person running for their life would. “Did I not tell you to go?” You snarled a little at the stinging pain, now more obvious that it was coming from somewhere deep near your side. You wished he would have just followed the others, gotten away faster. But this brand new version of him wouldn’t do that to you, to anyone from the crew for that matter. You’d been proud of him through his change, but this was not the time for him to care about you. “Come on, I’m not leaving you here.” He paused enough to get you closer to him, and hoisted you up a little by your arm. “Fuck you.” You cursed, trying to walk a little faster now that he was helping you.
The boat ride felt like forever, and as each of the waves hit the boat the stings of pain just felt worse and worse. You felt light headed and even without noticing you leaned on Izzy just a little more for support. He stiffened up, but kept you in place so you wouldn’t accidentally lean over the edge. You could have sworn you felt his thumb repetitively go over your forearm, as if to keep some sense in the moment .
Izzy got out of the boats first, and with the help of the others he got your form on the main deck. The first mate tore off his coat, laying it flat on the wooden deck before leaning your head over his lap. You could feel cold sweat creep onto your forehead and back, breaths shallow and quick. It was only now setting in what had happened, but you tried to bite back the feelings of panic. You felt Izzy tap your cheek, making your eyes land on his face. Some dirt had stuck to his face from the fall he’d taken because of you, you thought to yourself. “Come on, stay awake.” Izzy said, his voice a little shaken, but the same old commanding tone somewhere in there. “Oh, you’ll be fine, you carouser.” A groan left your throat, making you close your eyes for a moment. You didn’t feel like opening them after, but you did. You did when Izzy’s hand made contact with your cheek again.
Before this you’d thought of the crew members watching. You’d noticed they were around Izzy, some of them hurrying to get anything to help. Though, you knew this was the day you’d feed the fish. Izzy’s expression looked tight. Like he wanted to cry, but tried not to for your sake. He was hunched over your form as his eyes watered. “Aye, now. Don’t hang the jib. You’ll be fine.” You tried to reassure him. He’d changed so much, gotten to see how much the crew actually cared about him. He’d be just fine even if you weren’t there with him to stand at the sidelines. Only if he could see that as well. “You don’t do this now, ye fucking hear me?” He said, brows furrowed. You looked at him, his eyes. He looked oddly blurry, your head was spinning from the lost blood. Though, you didn’t mention it to him. “I’m not going anywhere.” You grit your teeth, finding breathing a lot harder than it had been before. You wanted to go, if that meant the struggle would finally end. “But even if I did, I’d be leaving you with the…best possible people.”
Your gaze stayed on Izzy, trying to follow his lips in case you missed something he said. But he was silent, like he was holding back something. The first mate swallowed uncomfortably, leaning over carefully, just to hide his words from anyone else. “You need to tell me if you-” He started, but that was enough. A faint smile appeared on your face. “Of course I fucking love you.” You said, for his sake silently, but you didn’t find it in you to speak any louder anymore. Izzy froze for a moment, some tension leaving his shoulders as he nodded. It was subtle, but as long as you’d known him you’d learned to find even the most minimalistic emotions from his face. His jaw trembled, but his mouth opened and he silently replied; “I love you.” Which was enough for you, more than so. But at that moment, you hoped those words would have been said earlier. Then maybe, just maybe everything could have been different. “I’ll wait for you.” You said, the struggle starting to feel better, like it was coming to an end. Izzy’s face blurred into a soft darkness, which slowly became the only thing still holding you.
AN// Requests for Izzy are open, I love writing for him ahhh >:(
Izzy Hands x reader fanfic where the reader courts him by sending anonymous love letters.
Izzy Hands x Reader
words: 2760
google docs pages: 4,5
warnings: Oddly enough for something I’ve written, none! Is this lowkey corny though? Yes, maybe that needs a warning of its own.
opening: Your desperate earlier attempts at courting the first mate of Blackbeard’s had gone unnoticed, so you resort to writing love letters. Maybe he’d realise if it was laid flat in front of his eyes.
AN// Reader can be any gender! It’s been a good while since I’ve written anything fluff-like, so apologies if that affected the quality of this :”D! Requests are still open <3! (please someone request something sword-fight related, or I’ll have to think of something myself)
“Not worth your time”
How many attempts would it take for him to realise what you were trying to say? How did he not notice even when you thought you couldn’t get any more obvious? Or was he just on purpose ignoring you? Were thoughts that had been on your mind for a long time now.
Izzy Hands, the first mate of Blackbeard's, was either too focused on his work and just didn’t realise or was ignoring your confessions on purpose. Of which you hoped wasn't the latter. For the past few weeks you had tried almost everything you could have thought of, not counting in just telling him how you felt. The only reason why that card hadn’t been used yet was because you didn’t know if he cared for you in the same way. You wouldn’t be able to bear the heartbreak of confessing to him and being rejected would cause. Not to even mention having to be on the same ship with him after, you’d rather take a jolly boat and leave at that point. So you had resorted to hinting your feelings for him through actions, which had proven to be unsuccessful.
As long as you’d known the man, he had never been too good at expressing his feelings. If he was upset, he might have said something about it to you and then disappear for a moment to resolve whatever was going on in his mind. Never had you seen him cry, but you expected he was just the kind of person to cry whenever he was alone. But even when he was happy, he’d show it through very small actions, sometimes not even his expression changing. You weren’t even sure if the man had ever been in love. Maybe he just didn’t know how to express that either? Or perhaps that was you hoping the earlier attempts of getting him to realise how you felt hadn’t been for nothing.
Either way, it was clear you’d chosen a man who was harder to read than a map drawn by a toddler. He hadn’t and seemingly wasn’t going to notice you flirting with him, but maybe something else would work. Flirting had never been your strong suit anyway, you’d always been much more skilled with written down words. It was easier to think of what to say and carefully choose the right words, which you couldn’t do while spending time with the first mate. And perhaps you could blame yourself even for the bad success, knowing your flirting and how it usually played out. So your plan was clear. To start writing anonymous love letters to him, and slowly make it as obvious as possible.
To be quite honest, you weren’t so sure if the man even knew how to read. Though, surely for one to become a first mate they had to know how to read, right? Or maybe that was just your last hope speaking. You’d seen first mates get chosen and there wasn’t a job application that came first. The person who was thought out to be the most experienced with piracy was chosen ultimately over the skill of literacy. Though, Stede appreciated the skill understandably more than the seadogs you’d sailed with for most of the time.
Literacy had been the reason why you and Lucius started talking as well. You’d started to take turns writing notes for Stede after you had gained his trust. Due to this new formed relationship with the man, you would sometimes talk to him about Izzy. From what you collected, Lucius wasn’t the biggest fan of him, understandably. But Lucius hadn’t been against you trying to court the man either, he’d even encouraged you to write the letters. Perhaps he was hoping you’d succeed and manage to change Izzy for the better somehow. But that was thinking too far ahead.
Firstly you had to figure out what to write in the first letter. It ended up not being anything too obvious, but you made sure to put an emphasis on the parts where you mentioned admiring his seamanship skills. Not leaving a signature or anything that could retrace the letter back to you, you folded it nicely and sneaked it to his quarters by sliding it under his door. It was only at that point that you truly realised how silly this was for an adult to do. Though, you forgave yourself for the sake of this being the last trick you had up your sleeve.
The evening passed quickly, night cooling down the air and bringing a slight fog with it to hug the vessel sailing across the water gently. You’d taken the lookout shift for tonight, knowing you wouldn't have been able to sleep. It also gave you time to write the second letter, knowing there was almost never any activity on the sea in a weather like this. It was going to be a calm night.
You sat down in the crowsnest, leaning over slightly as your pencil danced on the small piece of paper. The contents of the letter may have been more flirty than intended because of your sleep deprived mind, but you scrapped none of it. Letting your thoughts run as they pleased, the second letter was finished with a small heart as a signature at the bottom. You folded it nicely like the first letter, using a drop of wax from the candle you had up in the crowsnest to seal the paper.
The sky began to change colour when the sun decided to make its return. You climbed down, back on the main deck. You’d walk by Izzy’s door before going to sleep and slip the letter under his door like before. Most of the crew was still asleep, it only being the very early hours of the morning. Pure luck for you, since no one would notice you sneaking around like this.
Izzy was one to wake up rather early, so you didn’t dare to make any noise. At times it felt like you were holding your breath just in case that would alert him, though thinking about it after, it sounded silly. But nevertheless, you’d gotten the letter delivered and made an escape for it. All the way to one of the free hammocks where you got comfy and fell asleep rather quickly.
After that you took a break from writing the letters. Not a long one, but you had to think the third letter through more thoroughly. You’d sat down with Lucius, and chatted with him about it. As far as Izzy knew, the two of you were the only ones who could write and practised it actively. So the first mate didn’t have many options on who could have been writing the letters. “Lucius, I need to ask something from you.” You started, knowing he might just do this for you. The ‘mhm?’ he gave was all you needed as a sign to explain further. “Give the third letter to him.” You said quickly, biting your inner lip. The plan was to ask Lucius to give the letter, and when Izzy would eventually realise it wasn’t written by Lucius, he wouldn’t have many options left. Lucius stared at you for a moment before a faint smirk formed on his face. “Alright.” He said, raising his eyebrows in a knowing manner. It seemed he didn’t need a further explanation, the plan being clear to him.
After the conversation, you got to writing. This letter was more bold, more straight forward. You allowed your handwriting to differ more clearly from Lucius’, making it more obvious it wasn’t from the other man. Half way through writing, you leaned back on the chair. Was this even going to work? You had continued talking to Izzy after the first two, but he didn’t seem like he was even trying to figure out who was sending the letters. Or maybe you’d just missed his eyes wandering across the deck when he thought no one was looking, desperate to find who’d written words like that of him. Who in the crew would ever think of such things of someone like him?
You shook your head, resuming back to the letter. Writing the third one took the longest, only because it had all your thoughts in it. A proper confession with an ‘I love you’ at the end. You thought of signing this one, but then decided against it. He was witty enough to figure out it was you based on the letter, and if he felt the same he’d come looking for you. Hopefully.
That same evening you delivered the letter to Lucius, almost scared to let go of it. With a swift wink Lucius took it, and promised to give it to the first mate just before the crew usually went to rest. That way you’d be up in the crowsnest, the look-out shift taken by you yet again, and you could get some fresh air before having to face the first mate.
Time passed, the tension within your body building up. With stiff steps you got up to the crowsnest and slid against the mast to sit down. A deep breath. Lucius would have given Izzy the letter around this time. There was no turning back now, but there was also still that part of you that didn’t even want to. You’d waited for long enough, and this was like ripping off a bandaid, only you didn’t know what the damage under would be. If any.
Lucius had found Izzy, handing the letter to the man with that same amused grin on his face which he had tried to hide. “What is this?” Izzy asked, furrowing his brows slightly as he accepted the piece of paper. “Have you-?” He was about to add, but Lucius was already turning away to leave. “That is for you to figure out.” He said, before leaving Izzy alone with his thoughts and the letter. His eyes stared blankly at the folded paper, carefully opening it for reading.
The first mate’s eyes scanned through the words, his free hand going slightly over his mouth. This letter had far more passion in it than the other two mysterious letters he’d received. But yet it was written tenderly with care, still anonymous. Lucius had been such an asshole about revealing who it was. Of course he had thought it must have been Lucius playing with him from the start, but after the second letter it had gotten far too advanced to be just a crude joke anymore, he hoped. But there weren’t many literate men on the ship.
Izzy took the time to find Stede’s diary in his hands, scrolling through it just enough to be able to compare the two handwritings together. He knew you and Lucus took turns writing notes for Stede, and to his luck he was able to match the styles. Lucius’ handwriting looked different from the one used in the letter, but the other style in the diary matched the one in the letter’s almost perfectly. It was you, had been this whole time.
Izzy slammed the book shut, folding the letter into his pocket and making his way to the main deck where he knew you were. Just today he’d told you to skip and leave the shift for him, but you'd strongly insisted against it, saying you didn’t feel tired due to the full moon. He’d wanted to ask what you were talking about, the time of the moon being full still at minimum a week away, but you had left before he was able to. But now he knew why you’d left so abruptly.
Izzy appeared on the main deck, gaze searching for you. The deck itself was empty, it wasn’t yet so dark that he couldn’t see as much. The sky was clear of clouds, no fog in sight. No lookout in this weather would be on deck, you must have been in the crowsnest. His gaze travelled up, seeing the faint light of a candle up in the mast. “Aye!” He called out, voice keyed up. He hadn’t even thought of what to say, just wanting to know why you thought such things of him, still in the belief it must have been a bad joke being played on him.
Izzy’s voice made your heart skip a beat, making you tense. He’d figured it out, of course he had. You swallowed, finding your mouth dry and jaw tense. “Yeah?” You called back, frozen in place. It didn’t take long for the man to reply. “Come on down here!” Another hard swallow. You should have just jumped over the gunwale earlier or left on a jolly boat, this was terrifying. “In a moment!” Your voice wavered as you got up and started climbing down, through the lubber’s hole, towards the main deck.
It felt like the wooden flooring was lava as you stepped on it, finding Izzy standing there. The faint light of a singular lantern giving some light in the otherwise dark environment. You felt like running away as Izzy pulled the latest letter from his pocket. “Did you..write these?” He asked, breaking the silence which had been creeping its way between the two of you. You hadn’t even realised the force you’d been biting your inner lip at, before now. “I- Yes.” Your voice betrayed you yet again, the words coming out shaky. Almost like you thought you were in trouble? “So Lucius is off the hook.” Izzy said, the words not making you feel any better. “So I’m still- on the hook?” You asked, a light joke in an attempt to make the nervous sweat back down. “You could say so.” He put the letter back into his pocket. “Surely you don’t fucking think of me in that way?” The first mate added, the tone of his voice giving you the impression of him thinking you were tricking him.
You wanted to reach out to him, to somehow tell him that you were speaking the truth, but your mouth was still dry. All words that were so beautifully written on the paper, now somehow gone, disappeared into thin air. Or in this case thick air, you felt like you couldn’t bloody breathe. “Izzy, I meant every word.” You said, voice almost so silent you feared it might have gotten lost in the light wind. Though, in truth there only being a cat’s paw on the water. Izzy’s eyes snapped on you, almost dropping the cigarette he’d been about to light. “You-” He started, but you wanted not to hear the things the man thought of himself. “Yes, I love you, you moron.” You allowed yourself to say, taking an awkward step closer to him. “Dear, I’m not worth your time…” He started yet again, which you wanted so desperately to end. He did not see the things you saw in him. “Shut up, please.” You took the cigarette from his hand, daring to look into his eyes, your gaze searching for his answer. Did he feel the same?
Izzy must have seen the question marks in your eyes, as his expression softened to one of slight worry. “Please, don’t do this to me.” He said, his hand rising but not quite sure what he should do. “Say it.” You pleaded, eyes glued on his. “I do, more than I should. I love you” You bit back a relieved smile, gently placing your free hand on his collar. He didn’t pull away, rather leaned in which you took as a yes to kissing him. It didn’t last long, the tension of it making you pull away slowly, but not far. His face left with a mix of emotions, of which most he didn’t know how to express. You smiled, turning to light the cigarette with the flame of the lantern. You took a quick drag from it before placing it near the man’s lips. He raised his hand enough to take a hold of the cigarette, mouth left softly agape. “I love you-” He said, voice lost, like he had to repeat the phrase just to make it sound real to himself. You wanted to reply, but a wave hit the bow of the ship. You wouldn't have otherwise reacted, but the moment had caught you off guard, just like the wave. It swayed the ship softly, pushing you against him. There was no real danger of tumbling over, but the first mate still placed his free hand swiftly behind your back, looking rather awkward after. “I know.” You smiled, now knowing saying that was true. Finally you knew he cared for you too, knew that he’d realised how you felt.
AN// It's yet again 4am when I proof read this, so if there are any mistakes I apologise for that!
Request for izzy hands x reader where they were like together while in the navy. They kept their relationship hidden ofc and liked to take risks by giving pda when no one was looking. To keep up appearances with the others, they act like they hate each other. This gets extremely hard for Izzy after reader gets shot in the leg
Izzy Hands x Reader
Words: 3500
Google doc pages: 5,1
Warnings: mentions of smoking and drinking, mentions of blood
Opening: Izzy has asked you to tone down the displays of affection whenever there were other crew members around. This went on for a long time, mostly unnoticed until you got stabbed, and keeping the secret becomes a little too difficult.
AN// Reader can be any gender! I put these two requests together since I thought they were pretty similar, and changed the shooting to a stabbing, since I didn’t want to make this too angsty (But yall know I live for a bit of drama, always!) I’m also making this a little longer than normally for the sake of there being 2 requests!
“Prove it.”
Ever since you joined the crew, you’d been drawn to Izzy. There was something about him that you liked, even though he seemed to distance himself from the crew quite often. You supposed that had been what caught your eye in the first place, seeing him just watch the others if they were doing something other than working. And you’d only noticed that because you found yourself doing the exact same most of the time. So after observing him for some time, you’d begun to talk to the snappish first mate from time to time. At first he seemed like he’d rather be talking to the seagulls than you, but bothering him long enough proved to be the right thing to do, since he’d started to warm up slowly. Soon he’d even complain to you, which was the most common thing you started hearing from him. By the way he described his job on the ship, it sounded like he saw the rest of the crew as morons. Had he thought of you in the same way and avoided talking to you because of that? Was a common thought you tried not to think of, since at the end of the day, Izzy was quite nice to be around. He’d sometimes share cigarettes with you, and on a good day share a bottle of rum. But even then, after getting this far he still seemed like he was pushing you away. Like his focus was elsewhere, or on someone else. But you tried to put it off as him just being the first mate and having to do a lot of Blackbeard’s work, so he didn’t have time for making buddies.
When Stede had come along, Izzy started to change. His attitude changed, like his mind had changed course. You didn’t know if it had something to do with Blackbeard and Stede, since you weren’t much educated on their previous relationship. Though, as time passed you started to notice him talking to you a little more than usual. More than usual in this case meaning the normal amount, since the man had practically stopped talking to you when Stede had come along. Like he’d been busy doing something else. So it seemed as if his mind had changed on something. Though, you didn’t mind. You’d started to like him, quite a long time ago actually but it had taken you more time than necessary to admit that to yourself. But by now it was clear in your mind, but you kept telling yourself that there was no point in confessing to him as he hadn’t ever shown any signs of caring for you in that way. In your mind, he saw you as a good drinking buddy at best.
So you said nothing about it for a while, only talked to him like you had always done. Only, sometimes it seemed like Izzy was awkwardly trying to hit on you. You only noticed this because of the bad, but notably sweet, his attempts were. Like the shield that the title of first mate had given him was preventing him from actually opening up to you. Because of this, you took it upon yourself to try and figure this mess out. You liked him, but didn’t dare to tell him because of the mixed signals written all across the poor man.
Yet another night, and yet another trip you were making to check if Izzy had taken the night shift and was on the main deck. It had become somewhat of a habit to meet him there, just like the other habits you had together. You never thought of how much you’d started spending time with him. But like almost always, the owl of a man was there. He had a cigarette between his fingers, almost burnt out. Due to the dark you couldn’t quite tell much, but he seemed to be leaning against a mast. As much as he mocked the crew for being totally useless, idiots and so on, he was definitely not being the best look-out there was. Could he even see what was going on at the front? You shrugged, amused by the first mate’s antics. “We got a proper look-out here!” You said, loud enough for him to hear in the slight wind and through the sound of the waves gently splashing against the hull of the ship. Izzy lowered the cigarette, turning to look at you. The man didn’t seem frightened, far from it. Like he’d known you’d come eventually, just as you had. “Sod off, I’m on a break.” He said, a slight hint of amusement in his tone. As you got closer you found out why. His breath smelled of rum, a familiar smell that stuck all around the ship no matter how much it was cleaned. “Tell that to the next crew that attacks us.” You hummed, offering out a hand as a sign to ask for the cigarette. And like it was automatic, he handed it to you without even giving a look your way. “Like they’d even see us in this fog.” Izzy replied, leaning back against the mast. You stood next to him, taking a drag from the cigarette. You hadn’t even noticed the fog, a little embarrassed by your earlier comment now, you didn’t say anything for a moment. Using the smoke as a way to make the silence from your end more acceptable. “You know, Stede’s men really hit an all time low today. Truly bottom of the barrel kind of crew, I mean-” He started, as always when the perfect silence gave the opportunity. You handed the rest of the cigarette back to him, walking up to the railing and peering down at the water. Knowing him the man could go on about this for hours if you let him, and as much as you liked talking to him the complaining got a little tiring after some time. “They didn’t listen?” You asked, keeping your gaze on the murky water. “Of course fuckin’ not.” He groaned, the sound of his boots hitting the deck indicating that he was following after you. Izzy leaned his weight on his arms after placing his hands on the wooden railing. You chuckled at his comment, clear annoyance in his voice. “Have you tried not yelling at them?” You smirked, knowing it would set him off. “Quite clear that’s what Eddie wants.” Izzy shook his head after saying that, messing up the combed back hair ever so slightly. A few strands of hair falling over his eyes, which he tried to push back. His reply had been calmer than you would’ve expected, making you turn your eyes to him. “Are you okay?” You asked, gaining an instant groan from him. “Oh, fuck off with that.” He pushed away from the railing. You knew he wasn’t one to talk about feelings, even if he’d taken a little bit of rum to his system. “Quite clear yer upset about somethin’?” You asked basically the same thing again, worded differently to maybe trick him. You weren’t sure if that had actually worked, or if he’d just given up trying to shoo you away, but this time he answered. “It’s that fucking Stede Bonnet.” Of course, you probably should have guessed in all honesty. You weren’t even going to ask what he thought was wrong with the man. Listening to him rant about Stede and his crew had been enough information on that topic. “Is it him and Eddie?” You asked carefully, almost like poking a wasp nest. “Sure. But I don’t care about that anymore.” He replied, pushing away from the topic yet again. “Then prove it. To me it seems an awful lot like you still care.” You tilted your head, leaning away from the railing. Izzy’s mouth opened slightly, brows furrowing a little. Overall he seemed confused as to how he was meant to do to prove it.
You took a deep breath, this was the moment and you weren’t sure if there’d ever come another. “Kiss me?” You said rather openly, stepping closer to the man. If he’d looked confused before, he looked so even more now. Though he didn’t step away from you either, not even when you pulled him towards you. So you took that as a yes, and kissed him. A very short kiss, but you could have sworn he’s kissed you back.
Izzy pulled away first, seemingly at a loss for words but you understood why. The man seemingly hadn’t had any sort of actually loving physical affection in decades. So you saw it best to make your leave, not forgetting to trail your hand on his shoulder as you walked past the shaken man. You gave him space to think. His eyes followed you keenly as you walked away, up until your form disappeared into the faint light of the lower decks.
The days that followed, not a mention of the kiss was said. You told yourself that Izzy acted a little differently around you, but you began to doubt that when he hadn’t made any moves on you. Thought that maybe you were just imagining things. You kept telling yourself that up until one evening when Izzy had invited you to have a drink with him, as he sometimes did when he didn’t feel like drinking alone but wasn’t going to tell you that. So you joined him.
He had a specific spot near the galley where he liked to sit and spend time. A spot where there weren’t many people around since there weren’t many places to sit. A perfect place for him to drink but also to observe what the people walking by were doing.
He opened a bottle, taking a swig from it before handing it to you. You listened to him talk most of the time, not bothering to stop him when he spotted someone from the Revenge’s crew and started listing all the reasons why he thought they were useless. Better let him rant to you than make him go all out on the men, since he wasn’t annoyed with you just looking to tell someone.
And so the night went on, a couple bottles down and a half empty one on the small table. He had a better head for alcohol than you did, but neither of you were sober. Your attention was brought back to him fully when you heard the man start talking about the kiss you’d shared. “Tell me, why’d you do it, kiss me?” You bit your inner lip. You might have been buzzed, but it sounded like he’d thought about this for a while. He just hadn’t dared to ask. “What do you mean?” You asked, tone a little more playful than you had intended but to be fair with yourself, you’d wanted to discuss it with him for some time now. “Did you do it only to see if I was lying?” He asked, a hint of worry now in his voice. It worried you, just a little. Did he think you’d done it on a whim, that you didn’t actually care? You took a moment to collect yourself before speaking again. “Partly, yes.” The sound of hesitation in your voice was clear and you knew he wasn’t one to miss out on it. Though to that he didn’t say anything, giving you time to explain further. “And maybe I just wanted to kiss you.” Your gaze wandered away from him on its own. Yet another silence followed. You could feel his eyes on you, but you didn’t dare to look at him, not wanting to start guessing what he was thinking. “Prove it.” Izzy said, the words just slightly slurred but you understood him loud and clear. “What.” Your gaze rose back up, convinced you’d just imagined him speaking. But he knew you’d heard him, so he didn’t repeat himself.
The silence he was giving you was unbearable, and the only way to escape this situation was laid in front of you. So you leaned in, kissed him again to prove something, just like the first time. Only, this time you were sure he’d kissed you back. You were about to lean in further, but the sound of someone walking towards the galley made the first mate pull away. his eyes scanned the area of the noise and watched as Roach came by but seemingly didn’t notice the two of you. “Right-” You wobbled slightly as you tried to get up, the waves moving the ship just enough to make you stumble back on your ass. “Suppose it’s about time to sleep…” You mumble while trying to get back on your feet for the second time. Izzy watched the desperate attempts you made to get towards the crew’s sleeping quarters. He watched until he was convinced you weren’t going to make it. “Come on…” He said rather silently as he hooked an arm around yours, hoisting you up a little and with some wobbly steps made his way to his quarters, leading you along.
The rest of the night was a bit of a blur. You came to again when the noises from outside the small room were becoming a little too loud to be able to sleep anymore. With a long breath your eyes opened, having to take a second to recognise where you were. The slight snore from next to you returned a faint memory of Izzy helping you here, but from the sound of it he was thankfully still asleep.
You wiggled to the edge of the bed and sat up, brushing the loose strands of hair back. While sliding your shoes back on, Izzy turned around on the bed and by the sound of it he was awake. That also meant he must have heard the noises outside, and if anyone saw you leave his cabin at this hour when neither of you hadn’t been seen earlier, it would raise suspicion. “Go after me.” Came from him before the first mate got up and located his belongings on the floor. He suited up, placing his cutlass on his belt and dusted his clothes. You wanted to ask him about the previous night, but now you felt like the one who didn’t dare to do so.
So instead you waited until he left, heard him command the crew as he always did and soon the noises got further away. He must have gotten something to do for everyone so you could sneak out without anyone seeing. You pushed the door open, and without a second look stepped out. Which you shouldn’t have, since a gasp rang into your ear, and the form of Lucius hit your gaze. You took a couple of fast steps up to the man and covered his mouth. Not only would he alert someone to come down but if Izzy found out someone had seen you, you assumed he’d be upset. He was exactly the kind of person to think he’d lose respect from the crew if they found anything out. “I knew it!” Lucius spoke against your palm before you could remove it. “Shut up!” You hissed, keeping him against the wall you’d pinned him at before realising that Izzy must have gone with the rest of the crew. You should have probably realised Lucius would have been here, he was the type of person to find ways to avoid Izzy’s commands. “You don’t tell anyone, okay?” You said to the man, voice serious enough to make him nod. “I don’t know if I have to, if you’re going to be this open about it.” The man said as you let him go. Your eyes followed him for a while before you were comfortable enough to move again. That had started well.
So there began the complicated part of this relationship. Izzy had asked you later that day to keep any physical touches to a minimum when there were crew members around, which you had expected. And it wasn’t all that hard either. You could easily blend any kisses or hand holdings to the usual routines that the two of you had formed, but some days you liked to mess with him. Not enough to stress him out, but enough to give him a little scare. You were rather glad Lucius had seen you from the start, since now he was the only one you could talk to about Izzy. And he undoubtedly was usually the one to suggest you try to openly hug or kiss the first mate. Though, usually you were met with an, “Sod off…” or the common “fuck off”, which you found rather amusing. Sometimes he would pretty harshly shoo you away, and treat you with the same respect he used for Stede's crew, if someone was around. You had to admit it hurt sometimes, but seeing him every night healed those cracks.
You and Lucius were sitting together one night. You’d planned to tell Izzy today that the other man knew, but you couldn’t just tell him that. You wanted to show him. So you waited for the first mate to walk past, as he usually did before going to rest. It took him a little longer than usual, but he arrived eventually. Lucius stayed away, close but hidden enough that he wasn’t easily seen unless someone was purposely looking for him.
You stood up and walked up to the first mate, with a quick look making sure that Lucius got a little close, now visible. “Have a drink with me?” You suggested, leaning to kiss him. Which he was about to respond to, before Lucius caught his eye. He took a firm hold of your shoulders, pushing you away gently. “Oo, Izzy!” Lucius smirked and you could almost feel the blood boiling in the man in front of you. “Oh, fuck off Lucius.” He murmured, accepting the fact that someone had seen him. Though, the laugh that followed surprised the annoyed man. “Izzy, he knows. Has known. I just thought you should know.” You smiled, trying to wipe the grin off your face before giving him a quick kiss as an apology for the joke. “I saw them exit your room in the morning.” Lucius hummed, amused as he left.
So for long this secret was only shared with the three of you. You weren’t actually that certain of the fact that Lucius hadn’t told anyone. He’d told you many times how bad he was at keeping secrets. But so far no one had questioned you or Izzy. Not until the day it all became rather public.
You got into a little accident, to say. You’d gotten into a little tussle, a tight spot with someone from another crew. You’d survived but they’d struck you in the shoulder with a knife before you were able to get the upper hand in the fight. You thought you’d just pour some rum on the wound and wrap it up for it to hopefully heal, but you hadn’t had the time to do that. As everyone had made it back on the Revenge, Izzy came looking for you. Not actively or in a way someone would notice, but his gaze was bouncing around trying to spot you. As soon as he did and noticed the red spot spreading from your shoulder it didn’t take the man longer than a few seconds to be by your side. He rather openly hoisted you up, noticing the slump you had eased into to escape the stinging pain. The man’s knife must have been fucked and rusted for the wound to hurt this badly. “My God, what happened?” Izzy asked, voice a little shaken as he sat down with you leaned against him. “Let me take a look at it.” The man said before you were even able to reply. “Come on now, help me a little.” He added while trying to lower the fabric around your shoulder to see the damage. You looked up at Izzy, a rather amused expression on your face even though any movement from your shoulder sent waves of pain all around your body. Izzy furrowed his brows at this, his gaze rising up from you, allowing him to see the crew looking at him. His eyes widened. “H-How did you manage to get stabbed! You- moron, I mean-” Was his desperate attempt to save his face. “I knew it!” Came from the crew, and you could have sworn that through all the noise you heard the relieved sigh of Lucius’, not having to keep the secret anymore.
Later that night, laying against Izzy as he treated the wound, you couldn’t miss the extra rum he was pouring on it, the action almost feeling like a revenge for the earlier events. You groaned at that, curling up a little. “Fuck you.” You chuckled, gritting your teeth as you saw him look away, seemingly innocent.
AN// This was proof read at 3am after writing the whole thing, so I'm sorry if there are any mistakes :"D Requests for Izzy are open still <3
request for izzy hands x gn or male reader where reader is going through a depressive episode
Izzy Hands x Reader
words: 2550
google docs pages: 5
warnings: Mentions of drinking, abuse, depression yk the usual, a mention of a suicidal thought, start of S2 spoilers
opening: Blackbeard was back, but different. The way he’d been treating the crew had gone on for too long, and it was getting hard to bear.
AN// Reader can be any gender! A small break from fluff, and back to beloved angst with comfort from a character who does not recognise the word comfort<3 I hope I stayed on topic, since I wrote half of this a little mindlessly :”D Thank you for the request !!
“Rather share the burden”
Sailing with Blackbeard had turned into all you knew. So many years on the seas together with the same crew, one can’t help but to start getting used to some of the men and their personalities. Even when the Revenge’s crew had joined it, it didn’t take long for you to get used to them too, to get to know them. So it was no wonder you’d started feeling conflicted the second this new Blackbeard had come into the picture. That was not the captain you’d sworn your life to. He was radical, at times seemingly insane. Like a shell of the man who you’d known, controlled by someone else now. He’d made the crew do rather horrendous acts, and at first it’d been okay. But day after day of massacring the men from other ships and looting them after had started to weigh the crew down. Sure, others were handling it better than some but ultimately everyone agreed that some of the attacks were getting a little out of line even for a pirate to do.
There was so much plunder coming and going that some nights the only work you had to do was to throw some overboard. The attacks themselves were brutal, but wasting whatever loot the crew had gained made it all feel like it was all for nothing. What was the point of any of this, if the items gained meant nothing and were thrown away when something new was coming in?
And by the signs Blackbeard was giving, he didn’t care either. The torture like environment you had to live in ultimately were for nothing and for no reason. You wanted to spend time with the crew and feel some kind of community around you, but something in you didn’t allow that. It felt like you were bringing more weight to their shared table, and doing that felt wrong. They were dealing with enough as it was, so you retreated to being on your own. And that had been easy, considering the others spent most of their time together, only interacting with you when there was work to do. You didn’t dare to step out of line, no matter how tired you were. You’d seen how this new captain reacted to that. Better to just do as you were told.
Being at the sidelines every free moment given, you didn’t think anyone had noticed any change in you. You would spend time on the main deck, excusing the long times spent there by saying you’d been sweeping it clean. In truth you would either be hanging around the bow of the ship if no one had noticed you slither over there, or in the crowsnest. All the places no one usually thought of checking or went to. Sometimes you’d find tears welling up in your eyes, only half of those times did you allow them to stream down freely. Though, the warmth the tears brought was never unwelcome, using it as an advantage against the rather cold air when the ‘deck sweeping’ took a little longer than expected. At times you’d just find yourself leaning against one of the masts, a bottle of whatever the latest loot had in it in hand. Sometimes more buzzed than others, but you pretended like it helped. And through all this, you thought no one had the time to notice. But someone in the crew distanced himself in the same way rather often, and it didn’t take him long to catch up on what was going on.
Izzy had been well aware of your new habits, finding you away from the crew and instead alone at the far corners of the ship. He’d known you since the day you’d joined Blackbeard’s crew, and by this point the first mate had grown close to you, sharing a few similar traits and enjoying each other's company. So, as much as he was hurting himself, the soft spot he had for you ached at the sight of your condition.
He wasn’t sure if you wanted company at those times you drifted away from everyone, so he did not offer it. Instead, he tried to shield you from the reality you’d been living in. He’d keep commanding the crew with the orders given by Blackbeard, but shield you from it and offer to do the jobs meant for you himself. Izzy could see hints of fear and shame in your eyes each time he offered to do the work for you, knowing you didn’t want to be caught not doing as you were told. But he trusted you knew where to hide and get some rest. He trusted that you wouldn’t get yourself caught because he’d take the hits for it. And this worked for some time, even if he wasn’t able to see huge changes in you. You had still gotten more rest than you’d been able to get in a few weeks, but that didn’t change how you felt internally. You’d seen how Izzy lmped, pretending as if he was okay with what was going on. Knowing him for this long, you knew this wasn’t what he’d wanted either. No one could have expected that it would come to this. He’d gotten more of his toes cut off, but of course the man didn’t tell you or anyone else about it. You’d just figured that out on your own.
But while you’d followed the cycle of abuse Izzy was going through, you witnessed the crew also notice it. The first mate was also starting to break, but this time more visible, and it hurt more to watch. The crew tried helping him, but even then Izzy pretended he was fine, having his mind set on you. And you knew he was pretending because after that, he would join you. You’d find yourself with him beside you, drinking or smoking a cigarette. Sometimes you wouldn’t talk, just pass a bottle back and forth in a comfortable silence. If you were lucky, these moments made you almost forget how horrible each and every day was. You were both suffering, but at least not alone.
“I’m going to tell him.” The first mate said, breaking the silence that had been surrounding the crowsnest. “Tell him what?” You asked, turning to look at the dishevelled man. “That the atmosphere is poisoned. I can’t keep watching the crew suffer, you.” Izzy said, silencing himself by taking a longer swig from the bottle. Your brows furrowed, worried for Izzy. “He’s not going to take it well…” You sighed, crossing your arms for warmth. “I do not care. Stay somewhere away from him tomorrow.” He said, you sure he’d almost added a ‘please’ at the end, but decided against it at the last second. Your mouth opened but closed soon after, only giving him a nod and a silent hum as a reply. Too exhausted to argue against him.
And that you did, avoided leaving the sleeping space you’d found for yourself. Avoided getting up until the worry over Izzy had gotten over the heavy feeling of staying still and avoiding seeing anyone. The sound of someone speaking rang from the main deck, getting you to head over there. Though, you didn’t quite make it in time. The sound of a pistol being fired stopped you dead in your tracks, a horrified shiver running down your spine the second a familiar voice groaned in pain. Only the gush of wind from the door being flung open gaining your focus back. Blackbeard marched through the threshold, stopping momentarily as his eyes landed on you, before walking past with his shoulder hitting yours rather harshly.
Your breath hitched in your throat the second after, the feeling only growing worse when you peeked at what had gone down on deck. Izzy laid near the door, curled around his leg. You could feel tears welling up, a familiar feeling but this time something in your chest burned worse than before. You wanted to go and help him but as if your legs had decided against it, and without much of any feeling you retreated back to your sleeping quarters. A place where you’d be spending multiple days, horrified of leaving.
You’d only creep around at night, those times when sleeping didn’t feel like an option anymore. When you’d slept for long enough that every time you were able to close your eyes, you would wake up again not even an hour later. And those times during the day when you were awake, you couldn’t hear Izzy’s commands echo in the ship, assuming he must have been hit in a vital spot. He was gone, and you wanted to go with him. You hadn’t even realised how dear he’d become, not that he hadn’t been before. But before now, you hadn’t seen him as a comforting type of persona. More of a closer friend you got along better than anyone else, but you blamed that on the way he usually treated the crew. Not letting them see the person he was under the title of the first mate.
Time passed like this rather quickly, the sense of time fading away rather fast. You’d eat small amounts of food whenever you felt like it, swallowing it down with some rum. You didn’t know if the crew had noticed your now total absence, and you didn’t care. The thought of Izzy being dead shook every bone and muscle in your body.
You could vaguely remember a night when the ship had swayed worse than usual. Like a never ending storm was over it, doing everything in its power to sink the wretched thing. But that didn’t make any sense, or it wouldn’t have in the past. The more you thought of it, the more sense it made that Blackbeard would have lost it by now. And a part of you accepted it, the fact that this could have been the night the ship sunk, and there was nothing you could do about it. But by some miracle, it didn’t. Because by the early hours of the morning, the sea was calm once again and the ship was mostly intact.
You wouldn’t have bothered to go check on the crew, and you didn’t, but something else got your attention. A familiar voice that called for you by name a couple of times, though as familiar as the sound was, their voice sounded strained. Oddly enough it sounded like Izzy, which got you to sit up just before a knock came from the door. You wanted to answer but your mouth was dry, nor did you have the energy to speak up much. “You in there?” He sounded a little tipsy, though when did he not. The first mate pushed the door open, revealing the man to you. He was leaning on a crutch, other leg missing, now replaced by a peg made of a table leg. You bit your inner lip, at a loss for words. How was he alive? You’d heard him get shot and been assured that he was gone. Your mind raced, not even noticing the hint of worry through his tired expression. The man looked dishevelled as ever, yet he’d come looking for you. “You shit, I went out on a limb for you and once I came back you were nowhere to be found. I thought you were dead.” He murmured while closing the door and limping to sit next to you. You made space for him on the small bed, exhausted enough that you didn’t feel like standing up.
You wanted to pretend like you were fine, to tell him ‘you told me to stay away, so I did’, but none of those words could make it out of you before the tears that had welled up earlier started streaming down your cheeks. Due to the blur in your vision that caused, you weren’t able to see his expression. But you did feel the hand placed on your shoulder. “I thought you were dead.” You ended up whispering, lowering your head. His hold got a little tighter after that. “When’s the last time you ate something?” Izzy asked, sliding his hand down your arm as his eyes searched the small room you’d spent your days in. “When did you?” You asked, wiping your eyes before grabbing a half empty bottle from under the covers. To that Izzy only gave you a displeased hum, turning to look at the bottle. “You know, we got it handled. It’s going to be alright from now.” He added after, a hint of sorrow flashing on his face before he hid it for your sake. He’d never seen you in such condition, but now that he was back he wouldn’t leave until those words were true. That everything would be alright. You took a swig from the bottle, gaze turning to Izzy. You were glad that him talking to Edward hadn’t been for nothing, but you had no idea what he meant with ‘handled’. The rum had cleared your throat a little, words slightly more clear this time. “What do you mean ‘handled’.” Izzy looked a little troubled, but knew you deserved to know. “Eddie’s gone. We dealt with him last night.” You gave the man a blank stare, not believing what he’d said. In a way you were glad the torture was over, but on the other hand, that’d been your captain for as long as you could remember.
Deep in thought, you didn’t even notice the tears still streaming down your face. You lowered the bottle to between your legs, mouth slightly agape. “Are you..okay?” You asked, lost with what you could have even said at that point. “That doen’t fucking matter right now.” He moved to the edge of the bed after saying that, his eyes still on you. “We’ll get you something to eat and go from there.” You turned to look at him, having not seen the crew in some time and a little frightened of having to face them. But it seemed like Izzy sensed something was off. “The crew? They’re all fucked up, we all are.” He hummed, a hand rising up to your cheek, not making contact until you leaned against it yourself. His touch was a little hesitant, awkward even, yet he still wiped the remaining tears away. “Tough, they have each other. And I know you fucker and the ways you would keep isolating yerself.” He spoke, taking the bottle from you and taking a swig from it himself.
It was rather clear he was hurting alongside you, but at least neither of you seemingly wanted to be alone with the pain. You both knew how it felt to be alone.
request for izzy hands x male or gn reader (romantic). reader is friends with calico jack (i luv will arnett so lets pretend calico is alive lmao). back on hornigold's ship, izzy, blackbeard, calico and reader were extremely close/ tight with one another. so yk how they hinted at calico and ed having relations w one another at some point? maybe that also happened with reader and izzy. like there has always been romantic tension between reader and izzy and they both acted upon it at some points but never really made anything official.
anyways, they each go their separate ways eventually. izzy going with ed and calico and reader being impulsive and crazy sons of bitches who just end up seeing wherever the sea takes them without any plans. years later, calico jack and reader reunite with ed and izzy (and now stede is there of course, as well as the rest of the crew). izzy and ed assumed reader to be dead for a very long time up until this point. idk just re-blossoming romance with izzy x a reader who is his complete opposite and is fucking crazy. first kiss possibly and idk i've never seen any fics where reader is friends with calico so! sorry if this is redundant or hard to read. english is not my first language. bonus points if reader can convince calico jack to take a bath (that man smells like shit 100%)
Izzy Hands x Reader
Words: 4k
Google Docs Pages: 6
Warnings: smoking, drinking, idiots in love fr, if you squint there’s some angst, mostly just fluffy banter idk I don’t usually write stuff like this :”D
Opening: You go way back with Blackbeard, Calico Jack and Izzy Hands, all the way to the time you were a part of Hornigold’s crew. But eventually all nice things have to come to and end, and you all go your separate ways. You stick with Calico Jack and lose contact with Blackbeard, and Izzy whom you’d grown fond of.
After a long time, you come across the two at Spanish Jackie'z, and realise that same old fondness never really disappeared.
AN// Gn Reader! I meant to write this as a he/him, but I forgot xd. I’m so sorry this took me so long to make, omg :”D I got into so many other things after ofmd that I couldn’t bring myself to write the rest of the requests, but aye I’m here again and as good as new! (or maybe not, maybe I forgot how to write for these characters.) Anyway, I’ve had time to let this one brew. I’ve loved the idea since it came in, had lots of fun with this !!
Anyway I wanted to write this before I get Baldur's Gate 3, just in case I want to start writing for that and postpone these even more :”D So enjoy the last Izzy request I had left!! <3
“A light that never goes out.”
As famous as the ship of Hornigold’s might have been, life as a part of the crew was not the easiest. Hornigold wasn’t afraid of threatening his crew, nor was he playing around when he did so. You’d seen how he treated the young cabin boys on board, like disposable toys. And maybe he did have more respect for the older crew members, but that did not save you from the overly hard work and stress of the captain acting on his threats. Which you knew he would do with no problem and most likely with a smile on his face.
So what did you do to get through your days on a ship like this? You drank with the fleet. And that you were doing now, knowing there wasn’t anything to be done for the day. The sun had already set and the sea calmed down to rest for the night.
An oil lamp on the table was providing some light, otherwise the space was rather murky. An empty rum bottle had fallen on its side in the middle of the table, a freshly opened one going across the table, person to person. There wasn’t any to waste, though you played around with the thought of sharing being caring.
Calico Jack sat on the other side of the table from you, Edward closest to him. You watched the bottle being passed between them, the noise of Izzy moving ever so slightly behind you bringing you back from your thoughts. This allowed you to pick up on the topic of the conversation. Jack and Edward complaining about the captain, Jack clearly a little more buzzed based on his speech. You flashed them a lazy smile, agreeing with what they were saying that way. Not joining the conversation since the two of them seemed to be so deep into it. But it was nothing unusual. Usually as the night went on the two of them would continue to converse, leaving you and Izzy to the sidelines to do your own thing and jump in on the topic when you felt like it. But neither of you minded that, usually finding the silence comfortable or conversing with each other silently. He was pleasant to talk to, even if you knew he wasn’t so fond of Jack and his behaviour that had rubbed off on you over time. Though, you tried to keep it at bay when with him.
You leaned back on your chair, stretching your arms. The action allowed you to see Izzy as he pulled a packet of cigarettes from his pocket. You gave him a look, not asking for anything but hoping he got the idea. And he did, he always did. Which you were glad of, since asking to come for a smoke with him felt like you’d turned into a begging puppy. Knowing the next time you or anyone else would get their hands on some more was unknown.
So you excused yourself, leaving for the main deck with him. Not going far, near the railing. You leaned against the gunwale, eyes fixated on the light waves hitting the hull. Izzy followed suit, leaning his elbow on the gunwale before lighting the cigarette he was holding. He took the first drag from it before offering it to you. Of course he did, he never gave you your own. That would have been a waste of the small amount you each had, but that did not stop you from complaining about it. “Leftovers?” You raised your brows a little, still taking the cigarette from him. “Better for yer health,” was what he usually went with, like this time as well. “Fuck off,” you replied with a chuckle and took a slow drag. He didn’t say anything to that, turning his eyes to the water as well.
You didn’t dare to smoke much of what he had left, handing the cigarette back to him. The silence around the two of you wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable, but you felt the need to break it. Something of the way Jack and Edward had been conversing had sparked the interest of talking within you as well. “You ever thought of leaving? Finding another ship to board?” You asked, curious of his answer to be truthful. Because you had, multiple times in fact. You weren’t even sure of the reason for your extended stay. Was it for the trio you hung around? Or was it the threats you feared? You had not a clue, but perhaps if he had thought of the same thing you could push yourself over the edge of leaving as well. “Hornigold may be half insane, but I’ll follow Ed. Doubt we’ll die here, but he won’t stay here forever.” The man next to you replied, taking a rather long drag from the cigarette before lowering his hand and blowing the smoke into the cool sea air. You hummed, tilting your head in understanding. Though, you couldn’t pass up an opportunity to tease the man. So you turned to look at him, pouting as you raised your eyebrows. “Oh?” Was all you had to say for his expression to drop, noticing the way you’d abandoned the initial topic purely for this. “Fuck off, rapscallion. You know what I meant,” he said but you counted on his tone of voice when deciding if he was truly annoyed with you or not. Of which you chose the latter. “What? You’re even pining for him now when you’re up here.” You laughed, following as he shook his head with a disappointed look as he stumped the cigarette. “I’m not going to start this with you,” Izzy mumbled as he turned his eyes back on you. Now clearly a little more annoyed but you said nothing of it, wanting to see where this would go.
Izzy turned to leave, retreat from the situation. But you had your hopes up, in the sense that you didn’t want for him to leave yet but also hoped that he’d tell you if there was actually something going on. For the sake of your feelings. Which you weren’t going to admit you had for anyone, unless he spoke first. So you took a light hold of the fabric of his shirt, giving him space to leave if he wanted to. But he didn’t. “Come on, ye getting lily-livered on me? Was I right?” You dared to ask, maybe pushing the situation a little far but you took the risk. Though it didn’t seem like he was going to leave, at the very least. He opened his mouth, closing it soon after. Seemingly frustrated. But you saw something else within that initial emotion, hesitation was some of it. Something that had appeared when his back was turned to you earlier. When he thought you wouldn’t notice.
“Well?” You hummed, an amused look on your face even with the slight anxiety building up within you. His eyes darted across the empty main deck before landing back on you. A sigh left him, pursed his lips in whatever emotion he was feeling at that point. It only making you wonder if you’d gone too far this time.
With a swift motion he placed a hand on your waist, enough to make you land against the gunwale, kissing you rather roughly. A gasp escaped you, eyes widening for a short moment before responding to the action. Something in his manner changed at your response, pulling away slowly and with more calculated movements. It was only when his hand left your waist that you took a breath, blinking at him as your mind tried to come up with anything to say. He didn’t seem to have a grasp on the current situation either, though he had a response in mind for what you’d been waiting for earlier. “Ye never are,” he said before heading back down to Jack and Edward. Leaving you out on the main deck for quite a while before being able to return as well. Only to not speak of that moment openly for a long time after.
But that was years ago. And after that night and the many more you experienced, the fun came to an end. You all went your separate way, as much as you didn’t like the idea of splitting up in such a manner. But there was no avoiding it. So you chose to stay with Jack, seeing as you had known him for the longest and got along with him the easiest. And as much as he already had seemed like the obvious choice, it also seemed that he did not mind you tagging along with him one bit.
And there had begun you and his long lasting journey to nowhere. You were finally free of Hornigold’s threats and work, having time to do as you pleased and go where you wanted. And so Calico Jack and you sailed with ships from place to another, keeping from trouble the best you could. Well, from time to time it seemed as if you were keeping him from trouble but at the end of the day it kept the both of you on the safer road.
But this specific night, you were in the Republic of Pirates. Spanish Jackie'z had become a place the two of you would go to any time you were staying there, and that tradition was not broken this time either.
The lights were dim where you were seated, at the corner. Not a table Jack would have chosen, but you preferred it. You liked retreating to it if things started getting too rowdy in your opinion, knowing no one would be looking for you in the shaded corners of the tavern. And that was exactly what you were doing now. Observing the people and the conversations happening around you while Jack was causing a commotion somewhere in the crowd.
And all of that went along how it always did, nothing out of the ordinary. Well, until pirates you didn’t recognize straight away came in. A well groomed man in a fancy clean suit caught your attention first, causing you to furrow your brows in a mix of confusion and interest. He didn’t seem to belong, catching the attention of the other regulars you’d gotten to know over time. With him was a more dark figure, black clothing which blended him in with the rest of the crowd. Or would have if he wasn’t walking so closely to the fancy fellow. The thought made you giggle. But not for long, as your mind started to race when you saw the third party with them, a shorter man. Because the sight of him jogged your memory, made you shake your head to make sure you’d seen correctly. To not get too excited if you’d just been imagining things. But you hadn’t, it was him. And if that was true, the other man must have been Edward.
Your eyes stayed on Izzy, blinking as the noise from the crowd blended into the background. As if a static had taken over your thoughts. You thought of going over, surprising him perhaps? But you hadn't the time to act on the thought. All the noise suddenly returning as Jack made his way to Edward, almost clinging to the man’s neck. A slight smile making its way to your face, a nostalgic one. Though, you feared what the good old combination of the two would mean for the new fellow. But for now, Edward seemed to be introducing your mate to the man, so you felt at ease with leaving Jack with them. Surely he’d behave….
Your eyes returned to Izzy, finding the man staring at you just as you had done to him. An awkward smile tried to creep its way to your face, feeling the urge to go up to him and have a drink. But the man seemed as if he wanted nothing to do with the place, as that he would have already left if it hadn’t been for you. So you stare back at him, nod your head towards the door he’d just entered from. A subtle invitation for a smoke which you didn’t have, but he didn’t know that when he nodded back at you, accepting the offer.
So you got up, made your way outside where he had escaped as soon as possible. You took a breath to prepare for a talk, but he beat you to it. “How you are still alive, I cannot say,” he hums, demeanour much calmer than before. His form leaned against a wall, a lot less tense eyes travelled to you. Giving him a chuckle you tilt your head. “Jack is who he is, but he would never-” But it took the mere look he gave you to not finish that sentence. Not what he had meant. “That man may be half insane, but I figured you’d gotten yourself killed elsewhere by now.” He explains, eyes focused on a rum bottle he was opening, figuring out he wasn’t going to get a smoke from you. “Hah! You’d have to find something deadlier than a lead marble to take me down,” you laugh as you take the bottle he was offering. “Though, I’m not sure I can keep dodging the bullet that is an unbathed Jack…” You mumble with a careful expression before taking a swig, earning a low chuckle from Izzy. The angle allowed you to see his face better, confirming that he seemed to be in a better mood. Not as grumpy looking perhaps. But you said nothing of that, letting him off the hook this once.
The evening starts to resemble a night soon enough, making you and Izzy start to drift over to the shore. At some point, you notice Edward, Jack and the new guy follow, joining in. You wanted to stay longer, to get to know the new man better and to get to talk to Edward as well, but Izzy seemed oddly annoyed with the company getting bigger. So you share a few drinks with them, learn that the name of the man was Stede Bonnet and go your separate ways.
Separate ways, as in you and Izzy walked over to the jolly boat and waited for the rest of the group to be done with their chatter. Though, it seemed an awful lot like that wasn’t happening any time soon. But while observing the three of them from afar, you noticed that while Stede didn’t seem to be the biggest fan of Calico Jack and the effect he was having on Edward, there was something different in his eyes when he looked at the two of you.
The man who was now laughing with Ed might have rubbed off on you in the years you’d known him and as much as Stede disliked the persona, something in his chest warmed up when he saw Izzy follow you around. The way he didn’t disturb your rants, listened if not always so keenly and chose to hang around. Because that was something Stede hadn’t seen Izzy do willingly with anyone but Edward. And something about that made the man take peeks at the two of you sitting together, happy for Izzy in his own way. Izzy might have not liked him, but Stede never wanted to make enemies, so perhaps this was good for the self isolated man.
But you knew nothing of those intentions. Only that his staring was putting you off, not sure what it was about. You could see there was no malice in his eyes. So you couldn’t blame him for staring, for you had been doing that exact same thing to Izzy just back at the bar. But perhaps for different reasons, to which even you hadn’t really given into. It couldn’t be, because all the years at sea should have washed away any previous feelings. There shouldn’t be anything left but an empty table to start over from. A kind of erosion caused by separation. But that thought was too deep to dig into right now.
You couldn’t quite hear what the three further away were planning, having seated yourself in the boat. Izzy leaning against the head of the small vessel, bottle in hand. The sounds of seagulls far off in the distance, in town. They didn’t bother to come to the shore so late into the night, knowing there was still food to steal where people were buzzed and forgetful.
“Suppose we’re tagging along.” You start off in order to break the silence which had crept over the two of you. Izzy swirled the liquid in the bottle, raising his gaze over to the sea. “Ain’t that the fucking dream,” he replied but it seemed he mostly meant your companion, not you. But that didn’t prevent you from acting offended. “Don’t pretend like you didn’t miss me at all,” you laugh, the sound of it clearing any doubts from you being tipsy. “Never said I didn’t, ye made that up.” Izzy is quick to answer, allowing himself to drink the leftovers from the bottle, seeing as you’d already had your share and above. You pout at the sight, drawing in a breath. “Hm, maybe I should have been an author after all in that case.” You raised your brows, amused. “Can ye even read?” He asks, eyes back on you. The question receives a chuckle from you before you shake your head. Your drunken mind wanted to say, ‘no, but I can read the tension between us’, but something in you decided against it. Perhaps another time.
Another moment of silence surrounds the two of you, and for a moment you think you were able to hear the conversation of the three men further up the shore. In reality you should have been a psychic of sorts to have been able to hear them through the sounds of the light waves hitting the stern of the boat.
You smile to yourself, thinking of something to say. “I see yer boyfriend got taken in the end?” You hum, mostly amused but in truth you did want to know if that was what had happened. The question gets Izzy to turn to you swiftly, but the tone of his reply is not affected by it. “He’s still rubbing off on ye. Suppose it’s better you’re tagging along, we’ll get you back on fuckin’ track.” He shakes his head in a disapproving manner, but you see the hint of amusement after his own reply. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you insist. Perhaps he was right, but what else could you have done? You’d been with that menace of a man for years, it was only a matter of time until you would have become a copy of him. Well so you had feared. “Was welcomin’ ye back,” Izzy explains himself. But you had already caught on, just felt the need to be difficult. “So you did miss me, hah!” You chuckle, a little louder than you intended. Perhaps wanting the confirmation more for yourself than anything. In hopes that the earlier thought of erosion had just been a figment of imagination. But the comment only gains a look from Izzy, getting you to lower your voice.
You drag yourself to a better sitting position, leaning towards the man a little. The bottle in his hand was clearly already empty, yet he attempted to take a swig from it. Perhaps to put out something within him, maybe to get out of the awkward environment you insisted on creating to amuse yourself. But in that moment you let any logical thought go. Taking a gentle hold of his wrist, enough to let him pull away is he so pleased. Yet tight enough to pull him towards you. A test of sorts, to see if he was up for it. To try and light a spark once more, see if it would catch fire this time around. And it takes him quite a while to decide, reluctant. Yet, with a swift motion he kisses you. Giving in to your almost childish suggestion. But that was what lit the spark once more, the same feeling from the past returning. As quick as he had been to pull away, you could have sworn the nostalgic feeling of it all lingered in the air.
His eyes were focused on you, a hint of fear in them. You couldn’t understand why, almost coming up with a conclusion as to what you had done wrong. Had you taken too tight of a hold of him? Did he regret what he’d done? Wish to take the action back? It scared you. But you weren’t going to let him see that, instead offering the frightened man a smile. Maybe it eased his mind on the matter, leaving more of a conflicted look on his face.
You let your mind at ease with the thought of all the years that had passed. What did you know of where he’d been and what trouble had he faced? Perhaps he would tell you one day if you stayed a while longer. But right now, it seemed as if he’d been craving for such attention from someone, yet never received it. And if that was the case, you wanted to be a source of that for him.
But that train of thought was interrupted early on by a gasp. Not the kind you’d hear when someone was frightened or surprised, but the sweet kind. The kind you hear when someone gets something they didn’t expect. The sound was soon covered up, but you had already spotted the source of it. Stede. You’d seen his eyes leave the two of you, furrowing your brows in a mix of confusion and interest. The man seemed oddly invested in the two of you, but for some reason tried to hide it. You weren’t sure if it was for his or Izzy’s sake, but you were sure Izzy had heard it as well.
As you keep watching, the others swiftly turn to Stede. Not worried, but alerted by the gasp. “Perhaps we should head back. I had something left to do,” the man speaks and this time loud enough that even you can hear it. You can almost also hear the awkwardness in his tone, hoping neither of the men had noticed him staring. Earned a chuckle from you. You watch as Stede gathers himself from the sand, the others getting up as well with questioning looks. You turn back to Izzy. He had definitely heard the gasp as well, but the annoyance from it hadn’t affected him nearly as much as the kiss. Which you found endearing, glad that it hadn’t ruined it for him even if he seemed to have some kind of silent banter with Stede.
The three men walk up to the jolly boat. You smirk, seeing Jack wobble a little on his feet as they get to the waterline. You got up to meet him, not aware of your own tipsy state and managed to tumble forward a little. So much for the sea legs as you feel Izzy grab the back of your shirt to steady you again. Though he doesn’t hold on for long as he catches up on your intent, allowing you to wobble against Jack, pushing him just enough that he lands into the water. Only, if it hadn’t been for Izzy you would have gone down with him.
But with his help you had succeeded, laughing as the man groaned in the shallow water, throwing playful curses at you. “Not before you bathe. You reek.” You say, as if you’d grown some standards after hearing Izzy complain of your companion’s personality sticking to you. You hadn’t but perhaps you wanted to pretend you had, for Izzy.
You give Stede a slight giggle, watching the man step away from the splashed water. Only then noticing how the splash had wet your clothes as well, giving a grumble about it. Though it was all in good fun. “After he’s clean, we’ll set sail,” you give them a firm nod.
You watch as Jack collects himself from the water, seemingly trying to pull Edward in as well. You smile at them in amusement, the nostalgic feeling creeping back up. Even with the fancier fellow tagging along, it felt like a puzzle being put back together. And you hoped that it would last a little longer this time, not having to go your separate ways again. Because even one night was able to prove to you that you had missed them. Missed the banter, seeing Calico Jack and Edward together and mostly Izzy. And the spark that had lit up once more hoped that Izzy felt the same way. At least about you.
Idk if you're still accepting requests but if you are, there was a new bts photo of Izzy's back and I was wondering if you could write about it? Maybe he's ashamed of his scars and the reader accidentally sees them? I know you like angst so I think this would be absolutely perfect for you :3
Izzy Hands x Reader
Words: 1960
Google docs pages: 3
Warnings: Description of scarring from a whip, yk the usual. Oh yeah, and french reader
Opening: The scars on Izzy’s back didn’t get any attention in s2 so being sweet to him about them is up to you.
AN// Reader can be any gender! I’m putting these two requests together, due to them being similar. I’m also adding in the 3rd request because it’s been sitting in my inbox, I can’t see myself writing a whole fanfic for it and I think I could slide some of the content from there to this fic! But thank you so much for these requests, I had a blast with this one (for obvious reasons) and I hope yall like this too!!<33
“If you’d been happier not knowing”
Izzy usually hid any relations you had with him from the rest of the crew, at times you doubted if Edward even knew what was going on with you and his first mate. But the man was a rather private person, and didn’t like sharing whatever you had with him with others. Though, for an example he never paid no mind to you sleeping in his quarters, sometimes only asking if anyone had seen you enter the cabin. So you went along with his way of handling the unspoken relationship. Unspoken, as in neither of you had ever said out loud where you stood. One kiss in the past, and from there you’d been close like an old married couple, yet neither of you brought up what you wanted to call it. But at this point, it felt like you didn’t have to. Being with the grumpy first mate felt natural, even if anyone in the crew would disagree with that being possible.
Though, as many nights and days as you’d spent with the man, you knew there were still things about him that even you didn’t know about. Sure, he rarely talked about his feelings and you knew about that to a certain level. But you found yourself often wondering about his past; where he’d come from and what his past on the sea had been like earlier. Since you had only met him after joining Blackbeard’s crew, and by then the first mate had been alongside the black bearded man for years. But even when he was slightly buzzed, he never stumbled upon talking about his past. The most you knew was of their former captain, Hornigold. But of those times neither of them rarely spoke of, which to your demise made you even more intrigued.
But of course you knew the man well enough to not go and start asking him questions such as those straight away, out of nowhere. Even if it was just the two of you, you bet he’d lie to you. Maybe to save your ears from whatever he was hiding, or to save himself from having to remember. Neither of the options sounding too pleasant.
So as much as you wanted to get closer to him and know more about the man, you left it up for him. Left it until he would eventually tell you more about himself. After all, life at the sea from a young age like him could have caused him to see a thing or two before becoming the person he was today. The sea wasn’t a kind place to live, especially for a young pirate. And from the stories you’d heard of Hornigold, being raised from a boy to a man in a crew like his must have been anything but pleasant at times.
So, the night you came to find more of the first mate had come as a surprise. Almost making you wish the topic would have come around in a different way.
You didn’t spend each night in his quarters, knowing the man didn’t want to make the relationship known to everyone on the ship. Though, this night was one of those where you kept tossing and turning. Keeping your eyes shut felt almost impossible, and your chest ached for the company of someone. And you knew well who that was, Izzy. You also knew that he was most certainly still awake, no matter the late hour of the night. How he still always managed to be up before everyone else, you did not know.
So you got up from the hammock, checking that no one else was around and made your way to his quarters. The ship was quiet as always at night, only the sound of snoring coming through the walls every now and then. But the further you walked, the more silent even that became.
The door was quiet, the closing of it only making a faint sound. You turned from the door to find the man you’d been looking for. Though, that action caused you to see something he’d never shown you before. His back, bare. Old scars running across his back, both sides of his shoulder blades to his lower back, bruised with what you could only guess had been a whip. From a cat o’ nine tails.
Your hand moved over your mouth on its own, covering the saddened frown from your lips, yet leaving your eyes uncovered with compassion flaming in them. And as long as this moment had felt like, it snapped broken as the man turned to face you. The expression on his face telling you everything you needed to know. He hadn’t meant to show that to you. The shame and a hint of something resembling anger almost made you turn around and leave. But you didn’t, you couldn’t. Not now that you knew.
Your hand fell from your mouth, carefully reaching out to the man sitting in the faint light of a lantern. “Izzy-”, you gasped out, not sure what to say, as he hadn’t spoken his mind yet. “Get out.” The first mate muttered, hand searching for his shirt in the dark of the room, the movement rather panicked. You bit your lower lip, wanting to do as he said but also having a feeling that it wouldn’t actually help anyone. “No, I can’t. Not now.” You ended up protesting against his command, and to your surprise the man sitting on the bed with his gaze on his feet didn’t say anything against it.
“Mon chéri…” You started again, voice a little softer this time. You felt his eyes scan your form, turning his gaze away from you as soon as he noticed that you’d been looking back at him. As he usually did when he was upset.
You frowned, walking over to the bed and carefully sitting down to the very edge of it. Just in case he wanted to shoo you away still. Though you believed for him to not do so, seeing as your last comment had gotten him to ease out a little. “Sans toi, je ne suis rien. So please, talk to me.” You almost whispered, that being the last hope you had of getting the man to talk to you. If he felt like it.
You’d been about to place your hand on his shoulder, but he’d turned around just in time for you to pull back swiftly. He took a moment to collect his thoughts, somehow his expression turning back to normal for a moment. “Wasn’t careful enough and a wild cat attacked me from the back. Nothing more.” He said, eyes moving away from you yet again. He was lying, of course he was.
You stayed silent for a moment, just as he had done earlier. He seemed to have some kind of walls around him to protect himself from harm concerning the scarring. Which you understood, but it hurt to watch him have to make up stories to replace the real events from his mind. “Mon licorne, you don’t have to tell me. But I would like to know.” Your hand rose again, this time making contact with the man’s shoulder. He visibly tensed up for a moment, the touch on his bare skin so foreign to the man. “No need to dwell in the past, dear.” Izzy said, feeling as he sideyed you for a reaction. Your eyes stayed on him, hand slowly moving to the first mate’s upper back, carefully tracing the very tip of one of the scars. Izzy almost pulled away, but froze and leaned back to where he’d sat before. “I wanted to tell you, to show you what you would be signing up for.” He started, voice low in tone. You listened, not interrupting him. “But I couldn’t find it in me to do so in the end.” A sight left him after that, seemingly finished with whatever he’d wanted to say.
You hadn’t even noticed the way you’d started chewing on your inner lip, holding back a pained frown from appearing on your face. “I apologise for barging in, then.” You replied, hand carefully tracing the scar from the middle of his back to the other end of the scar. He sat still, allowing you to do so. “Got in a bit of trouble on Hornigold’s ship.” Izzy commented, seemingly knowing and remembering exactly which scar you’d traced. You stayed silent, eyes scanning the scars next to the one you’d touched. The others near it must’ve been from the same whip. But there was another bundle of scars on the other side of his back, seemingly from another time. Those were deeper, and from the look of it done by someone not keen on the man.
You reached for the other scars, gently tracing the one closest to you. He tensed up a little, making you unconsciously place your free hand on his forearm for comfort. To your surprise he raised his own hand, placing it on top of yours. “The Royal Navy caught onto us.” He said, breaking the silence that had creeped its way between the two of you. You traced the scar to the very end of it, leaning back after to look at him. “Did you think I would leave if I knew?” You asked carefully, but the air wasn’t tense even after the question. It rarely was with just the two of you. His eyes looked into yours as he thought of what to say. He’d been more afraid of you realising why he was the way he was if you knew. He didn’t care for how they looked, no one could see them through his clothes. But like this he was vulnerable. But now that didn’t matter. “Maybe. But that’s in the past by now.” He said, a sigh leaving him as his shoulders relaxed. You tried to smile, for his sake. “I care for you, and if you seemed happier not knowing, I couldn’t have done that to you.” He added, his eyes staying on yours as he spoke.
You didn’t know if that was the truth, but it didn’t matter. For one night, all of this had been enough for the both of you. If he had more secrets, he would come to you and open up if he needed. And now he knew that. You tilted your head, the hand from his shoulder moving to the nape of his neck as you pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Je t’aime, Izzy.” You could only whisper after pulling away ever so slightly.
The ship swayed gently as you watched him look at you with what you knew was his way of showing love. He might have not been a man of many loving words, but hearing you speak your own first language to him melted something that had been casted in layers of ice within him for a long time. He leaned his head against your hand.
Translations: mon chéri: my dear, mon licorne: my unicorn, sans toi, je ne suis rien: without you, I’m nothing
AN// Sorry if there is any delay with recent requests, I’ve fallen into a TADC Caine coma and cannot think of anything but that floating pair of dentures.
