“That’s not a plumber, okay!” Stiles whispers furiously into his phone as he peeks around the door way to the kitchen where a man is kneeling beneath the sink. “I refuse to believe that’s a plumber. That is a porn actor who has wandered off set and into my kitchen and insists on banging on the pipes like a real plumber.”
Derek thought Jon would be back by now. Damn it, he thought. He should have gone after him as soon as he had bolted out of the gate. His Monday morning had begun on the wrong foot. There had been times, before, when Jon would take lazy strolls around the neighborhood and come back but this time was different. Derek had been preoccupied all week with his deadline and didn’t pay the attention to Jon the way he should have. He should have gotten a dog walker for the week. Laura’s kids were going to be devastated if Jon didn’t come back.
Derek remembered when Laura showed up three years ago at his doorstep, the ball of fur in her arms.
“You know being alone all the time isn’t good for you. Just because you’re a writer doesn’t mean you need to isolate yourself for your “art.” I think you need a friend and what could be better than man’s best friend? A companion for life. Well, at least for the next fifteen years.” She smiled, putting the pup down.
“So what you’re trying to tell me is that you thought getting a puppy for Erica and Isaac would be a great idea. Then you realized that two year old twins and a puppy wasn’t such a great idea.” Derek looked at the puppy that sat at his feet. Little whimpers filled his walkway and it tugged at his heart strings.
“Okay, you’re right.” Laura sighed and Derek smirked. “I don’t want to have to take him to a shelter. I even convinced the kids that we were only looking after the dog while you were out of town. So please Derek, keep the dog.”
Derek sighed and pulled the puppy up to his face. The black and white coat was thick and soft. After a bit of squirming on the puppy’s part, he stopped and bright blue eyes met Derek’s hazel eyes. After a lick to Derek’s nose, he knew that he couldn’t deny the pup.
“Okay, I’ll keep him. Does he have a name?” Derek lifted the puppy to make sure it was male and cradled it in his arms.
“Yes! His name is Kitty.” Laura smiled. “The kids thought he looked like the neighbor’s cat. Do you know how difficult it is to explain the difference between a cat and dog to two year olds?”
He takes a mental note to not let Laura or the twins find out that Jon had gone missing. Derek began to call shelters and animal control in the hopes that he had been caught and kept safe. After the calls, with a leash in hand, he walked through his neighborhood and called out for Jon. He even resorted to calling out “Kitty” a few times. After three years, Jon is answers to Kitty more often than Jon.
“Seriously Derek? Why would you name a dog after the bastard son of Ned Stark? You have to get over your Game of Thrones obsession.”
It was beginning to get dark so he headed back home with a slump in his shoulders. It was time he began making “Lost Dog” flyers. Derek searched for any recent pictures he might have of Jon. The only he has was sent to his email by Laura roughly a month ago. They had gone out on a family hike. Derek and Jon sat side by side while sharing a pack of beef jerky.
Derek printed fifty copies with the picture, his contact info, and a notice of a reward of $1,000 if Jon is found and returned in good health. Jon was a black and white Alaskan Malamute. At eighty-five pounds he could comfortably pull the twins on a radio flyer wagon. Jon had his own dog bed but it was rarely used. He would rather share a bed with Derek and wrap himself up in the covers.
The following morning Derek put his work on hold in order to post up the flyers around town. He was half way done with his stack when he checked his phone. He found various missed calls and voicemails.
“I know you’re looking for Jon but I can be your John. I’ll even call you daddy.”
“If I were to help you look for your dog, can you like give me some of that reward money?”
“I bet that leash and collar are getting quite lonely. You can always use them on me. I promise I’ll be a good boy.”
“Oh honey, I’m sorry about your missing dog but I was wondering of you were single. You see, my granddaughter is a very lovely young lady. I’ll be sending her your information. Keep a look out for her call.”
He should have cropped himself out of the picture. Derek groaned as another call came through. Thirteen of his flyers were enough for the day. He hoped a serious call would come through soon.
“When were you going to tell me Kitty was missing?!” Laura’s voice came through the phone and Derek winced.
“Hello to you too, Laura.” He murmured. “I was hoping to have him back before you even found out. How did you find out in the first place?”
“Don’t worry about how I found out, Derek. Have you been looking for Kitty? When the kids find out they’re going to freak. What if animal control caught him thinking he was a wolf or something? What if he’s been put to sleep, Derek?! It’s been a week. Have you been doing anything to find him?”
“First off, his name is Jon. Of course I’ve been doing anything and everything I can. All the local shelters know to contact me if they come across any kind of information. Flyers have been put up but those will be coming down today. I’ve gotten numerous phone calls for hook ups. Who does that?”
“Seriously, if you don’t find that dog I will personally kick your ass.” Laura breathed.
“Yeah, yeah. I’ll keep you posted. I’ll call you later.” Derek promised and hung up before Laura could start another rant.
With coffee in his thermos, he headed out to collect the flyers he had posted. Derek was tired of receiving unsolicited calls about late night hook ups. He was fine being alone. He was a strong and independent man who didn’t need no other man to make him feel better about himself.
He was finally on Main St. when he noticed a tuft of fur he recognized. Jon was on a leash happily walking next to a slim guy with broad shoulders. Moles dotted his skin and his eyes shone bright in the sun. Derek couldn’t help but stare. His mouth went dry as he watched this mystery guy walk by with his dog.
“Kitty!” Derek blurted out as the stranger passed, stopping him in his tracks.
“Dude, I don’t know if you realize it but this is clearly a dog.” The stranger smirked.
“I, uh, that’s my dog.” Derek spoke up. “See.” He held up a flyer.
Mystery guy leaned in and squinted at the flyer. “I don’t know man. Cujo here doesn’t seem too excited to see you. Also, your flyer says the dog’s name is Jon and he doesn’t look like a Jon to me.”
“That’s what I’ve been told.” Derek kneeled down to be at Jon’s level. “He usually answers to Kitty instead of Jon.” Derek scratches the malamute behind the ears, which causes him to get tackled onto the pavement and slobbered on. With a few light tugs, Mystery guy was able to get Jon off of Derek.
“Thank you for looking after him. you really didn’t have to do that. I’m sure most people would take this beast to the pound.” Derek stood and dusted himself off. “I was offering a reward for his return. I could write out a personal check or the bank is close enough that I can give you cash up front.” Derek looked down at Jon and then to Mystery guy.
“As great as that sounds, I can’t do that. It would be as if you were buying Cujo from me. We bonded, man. We both hate squirrels and love pizza rolls.” he sounded defeated as he handed the leash over to Derek. “Did you know he steals the covers at night? What kind of dog does that?”
“If you want, we could set up dates.” Derek spoke up and Mystery guy’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “I, uh, meant that you can come over to my place anytime and spend some time with Jon.” Derek winced. He was beginning to babble.
“Usually, I’m the one over extending an invite.” Mystery guy chuckled “I get what you’re trying to say. I would to be able to spend sometime with Cujo and I wouldn’t mind getting to know you a bit better. I’m Stiles.” he extended his arm out and Derek gave him a firm handshake.
“I’m Derek. Would you like to join me for lunch? I think it’s the least I can do.” Jon barked at the announcement of lunch and began to pull at his leash.
Stiles stepped closer to Derek, only to trip in the process. Holding onto each other, they both looked down to notice Jon had tangled both of them in his leash.
“I think Cujo has decided for me. I’ve been roped into having lunch with both of you.”
The kind of stories I like tend to be one-shots, but I love finding a good longfic.
16. How do you feel about character death in fic?
I try to avoid it.
21. How and when did you get introduced to smut fic? Any horror stories?
It was about 15 years ago and it was a Daria fic. It was a semi-concensual scene between Trent and Jesse. Being a strong Daria/Trent shipper, I was seriously weirded out. It took me a few years to really get into smut after that.
33. Least favorite AU tropes?
I love AUs, but there are a few settings I don’t like: high school (but I love college fics), hookers, omega verse, genderswap, historical (I can't stop thinking about the lack of hygiene, ew), zombies/apocafics and vampires.
To my beautiful Viv that turns 23 today. I wish you all the happiness and love in the world. You truly are the Posey to my O'Brien and I love you to the Moon and back.
More from the Sterek sleepover. Yay Sterek!! No, seriously guys I really needed this. You have no idea how lonely I've been feeling and having no one in real life to talk to about my Teen Wolf and Sterek feels, like sit down and talk properly and just cry and have fun (haven't seen Viv in almost couple of weeks) and I really needed this. Shoutout to Viv she's awesome, go follow her.
Years come and go, but this year I wish for you a double dose of health and happiness, heaps of love and luck, topped with loads of good fortune and dreams come true. Have a truly fulfilling New Year ahead!
viv, dear, thank you so so much! i also wish you all the happiness, love, luck, good fortune and may all your dreams come true in this new year. ♥
Derek somehow managed to impossibly glare harder at stiles. “No.” He growled.
Stiles wouldn’t give up. “Deeerrrreeekkk”, he whined, “Think of the kids.”
“No, Stiles”, Derek exploded, “I am not wearing a bunny costume and go running around hiding eggs for little kids to find.”
Derek still did it. The kids were very happy. One of them said he looked like Bunnymund.
VALENTINE’S DAY
Derek woke up to somebody knocking at his door. His first thought was a blurry ‘What the hell?’ because if his memory served him right, today was Valentine’s Day. This meant that everyone should fuck off and spread the love and leave him alone. But, obviously, someone did not get the memo and wanted to annoy him.
The knocking became insistent and took on a specific pattern. Derek groaned. Stiles. God, he wanted to kill that brat. But he would not because “Stiles is the sheriff’s kid and I will not murder or maim him because I want to live a happy and free life without bars.”
Derek went downstairs and opened the door. Lo and behold there was Stiles. Stiles holding a large teddy bear, which could constitute as a person by itself, and several bags filled with God knows what.
Derek gave the only reaction he felt was appropriate for dealing with this situation. “Wha?”
Stiles beamed at him. “Happy Valentine’s day, Sourwolf! I’m spreading the love. I already gave everyone the joy of a Stilinski valentine. Scott really appreciated the wolf plushy and Jackson didn’t much appreciate the cologne mixed with a little bit of wolfs bane that acted as an aphrodisiac, but Isaac and Boyd liked the chocolates, so, win!” Derek listened mindlessly as Stiles babbled on. He saw fingers waving in front of his face. “What?” He growled. “Dude! Weren’t you listening? Anyway, I bought you some dark chocolate so it can match your soul. Also, we’re having a movie marathon because everyone sucks and they have dates. Even your creepy uncle.”
Stiles looked as if this was an affront to him and his dignity.
“I hate you.” Derek growled.
“Aaaaawwww, you’re making my heart shrivel up inside don’t be so mean.”
Derek frowned at Stiles “Why haven’t I closed the door in your face yet?”
“Because deep down you love me and you really want to watch a lord of the rings marathon with me and eat a lot of junk food.”
Derek raised an eyebrow.
“I have Boston crème doughnuts.”
“Come in.”
It was actually one of the best Valentine’s Day that both Derek and Stiles had.
THANKSGIVING
“We have to celebrate thanksgiving.”
Derek looked up reluctantly from his cereal bowl to stare at stiles. “What?” He mustered in his blankest tone as an attempt to convince himself that he wasn’t going to bend over to stiles’ will and have some stupid thanksgiving party.
“Oh, come on Sour wolf! Don’t stare at me like that. It’s thanksgiving! We have to celebrate our ancestors for crossing over the treacherous seas with the mayflower.”
Derek said nothing. He hoped that in time Stiles would leave him alone, but alas this time it seemed that Stiles was going to stay. So, knowing that he couldn’t win no matter how hard he tried, Derek tried to spare himself a bloody battle and went with a simple “Okay.” Instead of Stiles looking happy, he looked suspicious.
“What?” Derek asked.
“You gave in too early. You’re planning something aren’t you?”
Derek looked at him incredulously. “I just thought it would be good for pack bonding.”
Stiles looked as if he had a revelation. He looked shiftily at Derek. “You’re not planning on hunting cute little bunny rabbits or turkeys for pack bonding are you?”
It was lucky that he had given up on being offended by Stiles, Derek reflected.
He sighed. “Look stiles you can have your thanksgiving party as long as I don’t have to do anything other than shopping and you can even use my house. And with that Derek picked up his cereal bowl and moved on with his life.
The thanksgiving party was a hit and everyone loved stiles’ cooking so that was a win.
