on jack’s captains meetings
headcanon that Jack DID go to the first captain’s meeting his sophomore year but brought Shitty because even he was self-aware enough to realize that Shitty somehow makes him seem less robotic and also usually he can chill and nod along while Shitty does all the talking for both of them. when shitty’s around people don’t dare to ask him about his overdose or drugs or his time in an institution or, hell, they don’t really get too much of a chance to ask him anything and that’s how he likes it. they’ve got a system, alright? it works.
but then they get there and Chad W of the lax team is like “nah bro only captains” and shitty starts to square up but then one of the nice rugby captains isnt rude but does agree because “otherwise it ends up people just bringing their whole teams and not interacting” and Jack sort of opens his mouth, closes it, mumbles something about having homework and runs away.
because he had gotten into a habit of like... running through certain social interactions before they happen, of, well, not quite practicing them, but visualizing them to keep his anxiety at bay and it’s not that he couldn’t have stayed--it’s just in all his “this is how this is going to go it wont be that bad” daydreams, shitty was there. he was going to let shitty break the ice and then gradually drift away from him towards some of the other more quiet people while Shitty was still in the spotlight of the louder folks. he had a plan.
so he leaves and shitty is kind enough not to say anything except “fuck the lax bros”. he doesn’t go back.
the NEXT year he convinces murray and hall to (just on the paperwork) put shitty down as an alternate captain and they are confused by this but it’s not going to be like on the team or anything, it’s just a technicality and shitty doesn’t even know but jack and shitty turn up to the captains’ meeting ready to go. well, jack knows they are ready to go. shitty is kind of confused why jack wants to try this again when they had failed last year but eh, shitty would follow his bro anywhere.
of course, then they get there and a nice soccer captain is like “oh we’re glad you two could make it! everyone, this is Jack and B--”
Shitty tackles Jack. Manages to tackle the soccer captain at the same time. Grabs Jack and runs. Tells him they are never going back. Because somehow these people have figured out his real name which like how the fuck, jacky-boy? it doesn’t even show up on blackboard anymore! he’s thinking of legally changing it! it’s creepy is what it is, jack. creepy and wrong and i think we better just avoid the lot of them. forever.