apricity behind your hand
requested by anonymous - Hii is it possible if you could write a jake or jay fic in which reader has the tendency to cover her smile whenever when smiles or laughs ? Thank you so much and I hope you continue writing, you are one of my favorite enha writers :,)
Apricity definition: the warmth of the sun in winter.
The sun had that soft, lazy quality today, pouring gold through the blinds and painting the carpet in warm, fleeting stripes. Y/N sat cross-legged on the couch, a mug of tea balanced in her hands, and tried, ineffectively, to focus on the book in her lap.
Jake was on the floor in front of her, legs stretched out, sketchpad balanced on his knees. He glanced up, caught her watching him for the third time in five minutes, and smirked.
“What?” he asked, voice teasing.
“Nothing,” she whispered, pressing her fingers lightly over her mouth as she laughed at some unimportant thought that had sneaked into her head. It wasn’t loud, not even a full laugh, more like a bubble of warmth that threatened to escape, and she covered it like a reflex, like she had been doing all her life.
Jake didn’t miss a beat. He tilted his head, his gaze softening. “I’ve told you a hundred times, Y/N… you don’t have to hide it.”
Her cheeks warmed. “I just… I don’t know. It feels… exposed.”
Exposed. The word hung between them, like a fragile piece of glass catching the light. Jake’s hand hovered, then rested lightly on hers. No rush, no pressure, just warmth. “You don’t have to hide it from me. Ever. Not your laugh, not your smile, not anything.”
Y/N’s fingers twitched beneath his. She wanted to pull away, to brush it off, but the truth was, she couldn’t. There was something in his calm, steady presence that made the walls she’d built around herself feel unnecessary.
Jake leaned back slightly, letting his eyes trace the way sunlight caught in her hair, how it framed her face in a halo of quiet gold. “You know,” he said, his voice lower, soft, “there’s a word I read once. Apricity. It means the warmth of the sun in winter.”
Y/N blinked, tilting her head. “Apricity?”
“Yeah,” he murmured, reaching out to brush a strand of hair from her cheek. His thumb lingered there, and for the first time in forever, Y/N didn’t cover her mouth. “It’s like… you. Your smile, it’s like sunlight that sneaks in when you least expect it, even when you try to hide it. Your apricity, Y/N. Warm, quiet, unexpected. And beautiful.”
Her breath caught. She wanted to protest, to argue, but the words dissolved somewhere between her chest and her throat. Instead, she let her hand fall from her mouth, just for a moment, and the smile that escaped was fragile but real.
Jake’s smile broke then too, tender and a little mischievous, and he leaned forward, resting his forehead lightly against hers. “See? That wasn’t so scary.”
“It’s still weird,” she whispered.
“Not to me,” he said, and there was a quiet conviction in his tone that made her chest swell. “To me, it’s… everything. The world can be cold, Y/N, but you—” His fingers curled around hers, anchoring her, steady and warm. “You’re sunlight. Always.”
The room was quiet except for their breathing, mingling in soft rhythm. Outside, the wind whispered through bare trees, but inside, they had a little cocoon of light, of warmth, of softness. Y/N leaned into him, letting her forehead rest against his, finally allowing herself to melt a little.
Jake hummed softly, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “You don’t have to cover anything from me. Not your smile. Not your laugh. Not even the little things you think nobody notices. I notice all of it… and I love it.”
Y/N’s hand found his cheek, fingers tracing the line of his jaw. “I think I… I didn’t want it to be too much,” she admitted, voice barely above a whisper.
He shook his head, tugging her closer by the waist. “It’s never too much. You’re never too much. You’re apricity, Y/N. And I want to see it all. Always.”
She let herself laugh then, a full, honest laugh that shook the quiet room, and this time, she didn’t cover it. Not even a little. Jake grinned, holding her hands in his, and the sunlight pooled around them like it had been waiting all along.
And for a long while, they just stayed like that, letting the world outside drift away. She rested her head against his chest, fingers intertwined with his, letting the warmth settle deep into her bones. Apricity behind her hand? Maybe she’d been hiding it. But now, with him, there was no hiding. Only warmth. Only light. Only them.
Y/N pressed herself a little closer, feeling the steady beat of Jake’s heart beneath her temple. The sunlight shifted, drawing stripes across the couch and catching in the small freckles along her cheek. She traced them unconsciously with her fingertip, and Jake’s hand covered hers, warm and grounding.
“You feel… like home,” she murmured, almost to herself.
Jake’s lips curved into a slow smile. “Home, huh?” He tilted his head, brushing his nose against hers. “I’ve always hoped you’d feel that way with me. Like you can just… be.”
“I do,” she whispered, letting the words float in the golden warmth between them. “I just… I never thought anyone would want all of me. Even the parts I try to hide.”
“That’s the thing,” he said softly, fingers threading into hers again. “I want all of you. The laughs you hide behind your hand, the little quirks nobody notices, the way your eyes light up when you think no one’s looking… I want it all. I want you, Y/N.”
Her chest tightened, warmth pooling low in her stomach. She felt herself trembling just slightly, not from fear but from the sheer weight of being seen and held at the same time. Slowly, she leaned back enough to look up at him fully, letting the sunlight catch in her eyes. “Even… even when I mess up?”
“Especially then,” he said, voice unwavering. “Even when you think you’re broken, even when you try to cover it up. You’re never broken to me. You’re light. Your warmth. You’re apricity.”
Y/N’s hand rose, hovering near her mouth again, but Jake caught it gently, pressing it against his lips first, then letting it rest on his chest. “No more hiding,” he said softly. “Not from me. Not ever.”
She let a real smile bloom then, one she didn’t cover, one that lit her from the inside out. Jake mirrored it instantly, and they just… stayed there, letting the room wrap around them like a soft blanket.
Time slowed. The light shifted. Shadows lengthened, but they didn’t care. In that space, between soft laughter and whispered truths, Y/N realized something she hadn’t before: that love wasn’t always loud or dramatic. Sometimes, it was a sprig of apricot behind your hand. Gentle. Warm. Enough to melt the winter from your bones.
And she didn’t need to hide it anymore.
Jake leaned his forehead against hers again, lingering in that moment. “You’re mine,” he whispered. “And I’m yours. Completely.”
Y/N closed her eyes, letting the words sink deep into her chest. “Completely,” she echoed, letting herself fully feel the light, the warmth, the safety.
For the first time, she didn’t cover her smile.
And this time, it didn’t need to hide anything.
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