Heartbroken
This is a James Potter x Reader fic for @blisfvll‘s and @haracelovestruck‘s writing challenges!
Prompts:
5) “How was I such an idiot to believe that you, out of all people, had actually loved me.”
35) “What gives you the right to just waltz back into my life after all the pain you’ve caused me?” - are from @blisfvll
33) “I’ve stopped believing that a long time ago.” - is from @haracelovestruck
Prompts will be in bold
fic under the cut
Honestly, your relationship with James has been feeling out of whack for ages. You could tell he was drifting away from you, no matter how hard you tried to keep him.
The worst thing of all was seeing the sympathy in the eyes of the other Marauders. The thought that they even knew your relationship with James was on rocks broke your heart even further.
Time and time again, they tried to tell you that the relationship was done, there was nothing left. But time and time again you ignored them, all the while knowing deep down that they were right.
One day, after class Sirius and Remus came to talk to you. You and James had just had a nasty fight and you were starting to realise what they had been drilling into you for the past month.
Sirius opened his mouth, but you cut him off before he could speak. “Yeah Black, I know. He doesn’t love me anymore.” You bent your head and choked back tears. “He hasn’t for a long time.”
Remus wraps you up in a big hug and you sob openly. “I’m so sorry Y/n. I’m so sorry that this had to happen to you, the sweetest creature on this planet.”
“I can beat him up for you!” Sirius says as an attempt to lighten the mood.
You chuckle a little and sniff. “Not today Sirius.”
Weeks go by and you are still dating James. No matter how much you tell yourself to break up with him, you can’t do it. The two of you slip from beautiful conversations and moments into polite exchanges whenever you see each other and you can’t stand it. You hate every little second you spend talking to him in this way.
‘What happened to our love?’ you ask yourself constantly. ‘How did we get from that to… this?’
But you already knew the answer. And you had finally come to terms with it.
You were so caught up in your thoughts, you didn’t hear your name being called.
“Y/n!” James’ voice shook you from your thoughts. “Hey! Wait up!”
‘Weird..’ you think, ‘He hasn’t talked to me like that for the last few weeks. Something is off.’ Nevertheless, you wait for him.
He grabs your hand and walks with you.”Wait for me outside the Gryffindor tower tonight? I have something I need to tell you.”
You look at him in shock, this hasn’t happened for ages. ‘Maybe things are going back to the way things were before? Maybe everything will be normal again.’ with these thoughts in mind, you agree.
Later that night, you wait outside the portrait hole, your stomach buzzing with nerves.
You watch him walk out and note how handsome he looks.
“Great! You made it!” He says fiddling with his fingers. He looked jumpy. The most nervous you have ever seen him. But you write it off.
He grabs your hand and pulls you along beside him. He starts leading you towards the front doors where he had first kissed you on the steps.
You sit down beside him on the steps and look at your boyfriend.
“So, Jamie, why did you bring me here?” You notice for the first time tonight how downcast he seems. You immediately know something is wrong.
“James? James, what's wrong?” You are deeply concerned now.
“I’m so sorry Y/n, but-” He takes a breath and continues on. “This is it, the end. We’re over.”
You deflate. You had feared this would be the answer. “How was I such an idiot to believe that you, out of all people, had actually loved me.”
“Y/n I just-”
You stand and walk back up the stars. “Yeah, yeah Potter. Save it.” Only when you were inside and hidden did you let you let yourself break down. You slump against the wall, crying against your hand.
You knew this had been coming for a long time, so why are you so sad?
Eventually, Remus finds you and comforts you. “Everything might not be that good right now, but I promise, it will get better.”
FAST FORWARD 2 YEARS (THE YEAR AFTER THEY LEAVE HOGWARTS)
You can successfully say you had gotten over your break up with James and you were thriving! Sort of
You had enrolled in becoming a Healer and you had been accepted into the Ministry. You still kept in touch with Sirius, Remus and Lily (even if you are a little bit sore that she and James are dating)
Through your many visits to Remus, you had gradually fallen in love with him. But, because of the disaster that your last relationship was, you decided to wait it out.
Overall, you were happy that everything was turning out okay.
That night, there was a huge storm. It kept you up, extremely nervous about each lashing the rain gave your roof.
Out of the sound of the rain, came knocks on your front door.
Fully expecting Remus, you open the door wide. But instead there was James. Soaked to the bone and shivering.
Your eyes narrow and you try and slam the door in his face. Maybe you weren’t as over him as you thought. He puts his old Chaser strength to good use and flings out an arm to keep the door open.
“Please Y/n let me in. It’s important.” Against your better judgement, you reluctantly let him in.
You two sit across from each other, awkward silence descending. He looks down and fiddles with his fingers, which irritates you to no end. Finally, he starts speaking.
“Y/ln, I-” but you cut him off. “What gives you the right to just waltz back into my life after all the pain you’ve caused me?” You shout out angrily sweeping a hand through the air.
He looks away, his face guilt-ridden. Still playing with his fingers.
“Y/n, Lily broke up with me.” You sit there shocked into silence. James and Lily? The two star-crossed lovers of Hogwarts Witchcraft and Wizardry? Broken up?
No. Freaking. Way.
“So why did you come here?” You question, visibly confused.
He explains the whole story to you. How he and Lily had moved in together but things didn’t feel right to him. Lily picked up on it too and they grew distant.
“Sounds familiar.” You mutter. He silences you with a glare and continues on.
They started fighting and it grew horrible. Tonight was the last straw on the camels already broken back. He left and didn’t know where else to go, so he came here.
“It took me a while to figure it out, but Y/n, I realised I’m still in love with you.”
As soon as he says that, you start laughing, but you soon stop when you see his expression hasn’t changed.
“You’re joking right? After 2 and a half years you still love me?”
His expression hadn’t changed and he was still playing with his fingers. “I still love you.”
“Bullshit.” you sneer “I’ve stopped believing that a long time ago.”
“Believe what you want Y/n, but it’s true.”
“Well, even if it were true, you’re about 2 years too late. I’ve moved on.”
“What?!” He exclaims, standing up. “With who?”
You stand as well. Challenging him. “That's for me to know and you to never find out.”
“Now, get out of my house before it becomes infected with your bullshit.”
He walks towards you and softly touches your hips before looking away. “Hopefully you’ll believe me oneday.”
You cross your arms and walk towards the door. “Very unlikely.” You say coldly. “Now. OUT”
He looks at you longingly before leaving, closing the door behind him.
Once you’re sure he’s gone, you slump to the floor, your thoughts as jumbled as the storm outside. You bury your head in your hands, grabbing at your hair. This was all so confusing.
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