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I'd like to write fanfictions but fuck
English isn't my first language, everything will be a mess with improper spelling and all that
I’m Here all Week p.7
Emily stood perfectly still, trying her best to comprehend what James had just told her. Her fingers were laced in to her belt loops as she tried to wrack her brain for a response, but before she could give one, James spoke again.
"Emily, I understand that you may not have realised exactly how I feel about you; but I can't just ignore it anymore. I don't know if you feel the same way, as for now I don't think I want to. Just, please, take some time to think about what I've said. I know for certain how I feel but that shouldn't put any pressure on you. If you want to, I'll be up for most of the night going through the papers I was given today, if you want to talk about maybe seeing where this goes, just knock. Either way, you should know that I do enjoy your company, as a friend above all else. Please don't think that this means you need to make a decision to be with me or lose me entirely. I would never want that to happen."
The two of them shared a silence before Emily pulled James in to a tight hug that, if she weren't half the size of him, would certainly have taken the air from his lungs. James retreated to his room and the two were separated again. Emily flopped down on to her bed as her mind buzzed with the events of the confusing afternoon she had just been through. She looked over at the door that, just moments ago, James was stood by; confessing his feelings towards her. She hadn't expected it. Granted, she and James had flirted in the past, but not to a level she thought had indicated a genuine interest. As for that night at MacKenzie's, Emily could hardly remember it at all. In retrospect, she couldn't have asked for better company that night. For a brief moment, she could have been in real danger. Luckily, James Ashton was not the type of man to take advantage, which, albeit sadly, made him one of the good few.
As she tried to get into a comfortable position, Emily pulled a pillow closer and noticed it smudged with the gothic makeup Kaitlyn had been wearing. Her mind drifted to last night as she held Kaitlyn in her arms. Feeling her ribs move softly with each deep breath while she slept, Emily had spent most of the night in awe of the beautiful girl that had decided to join her. Even if it was just for plutonic company. She let out a heavy sigh as she felt her headache creeping back. With a determined aire, Emily jumped from the bed and started to get ready for the evening. A hard afternoon could be easily forgotten if done right.
Emily made her way downstairs. The dress she was wearing was less classy than the last. The low cut neckline of it was hemmed red over the black dress. It fit her beautifully and hung near her upper thighs. Though it looked as though she was dressed to be seen, Emily sadly just didn't have a lot of options as far as dresses were concerned. She walked to the function room that was already pounding with music, not live but played over the speakers to create the atmosphere before the band took to the stage. Emily walked through the darkened room and it wasn't long before her look caught the attention of a few pairs of eyes. Making a beeline for the bar so she could sit and wait for the band to begin, she was suddenly stopped by a heavy set man who looked as though he was in his mid 40s.
"hi sweetheart..." he slurred."Here alone?" the very sound of the question made Emily's skin crawl.
"No I'm...." she began, defensively.
"Well I don't see anyone with you..." he chuckled, somehow making himself seem even more off-putting."Dance with me. You look like you're a great..." he was interrupted by Emily being lifted off of the ground by a pair of large strong arms.
"Hey Emily, you made it! I ordered you your regular drink at the bar." zig's voice spoke out behind her. Instantly, she felt safer and wrapped her arms around zig's neck in effort to look closer to him.
"Zig, you scared me" she giggled as she planted a small kiss to his cheek.
"I'm sorry baby, did I interrupt your talk with...." he trailed off, signalling to the large man stood in front of them.
"No. I was just about to tell him my boyfriend was coming to meet me here."
"And here I am" he winked slyly.
"Here you are" she said with a warm smile, silently thanking zig for removing her from the other mans interest.
As the two of them walked over to the bar, Emily watched as zig tied the white apron around his waist before taking his place behind the bar. He took a small glass and picked up the bottle of Jameson's, looking at Emily questioningly.
"I think I'll take something sweeter and less pain inducing this time zig" she said, shaking her head slightly at the sight of the green bottle in his hand.
"I've got just the thing..." he turned around and made a show of moving a lot of bottles, shaking a mixer, adding ice and lime zest. Whatever he was doing out of Emily's view looked intricate and complicated. As he turned around, he held a glass of amber liquid that shone under the colored lights of the room. Placing a napkin on the bar and setting the glass on top, he slid it across to Emily who picked it up, looking at it quizzically.
"This looks like whiskey" she laughed.
"Exactly! It's for whiskey drinkers who don't want to drink whiskey but don't want to lose their aesthetic." he smirked.
Emily took a small sip as if to test the strength of the drink. "Zig...."
"Yes Emily?"
"This is apple juice..." she said, trying to contain her smile.
"Excuse me? I'll have you know its apple juice that was lightly heated with brown sugar stirred in to it and combated with lime zest."
"Ohhh. Fancy apple juice." she said, trying not to laugh hysterically.
"Damn straight it is" he winked. As he went to speak again, he was cut off by the feedback of the microphone. Emily looked over to the stage to see Rachel, Amara and Annisa setting up their equipment and adjusting the microphone stand. Her eyes searched the stage for Kaitlyn but she couldn't see her among the girls.
"Hey zig...." Emily began. Zig put his hands up and shook his head with a smile.
"I may be stuck behind the bar but I can see pretty well from here Emily..." she looked at him questioningly."What I mean is, go find her. It's the singer you're looking for, right?"
Emily gave a weak laugh before reaching over to gently brush zig's arm. "Thank you zig. For everything."
"Don't mention it Emily... I'm serious, don't go spreading around that I'm the kind and caring type. I have a reputation to uphold." he winked before sending her off in to the crowd that was now starting to clump around the stage. She made her way through the sea of people who were bouncing excitedly in anticipation of the band starting. Emily had made it to the front and had a great view of the stage; but still, Kaitlyn was nowhere to be seen. Her view was obstructed again when a pair of hands slipped over her eyes. Emily froze in place, nervous to say a word to the stranger behind her.
"Hi Milly. Guess who." her accent was like warm honey as Emily drank in the sound of the soft voice being spoken less than an inch from her ear.
"Hmmmm... no idea" she said nonchalantly. The hands moved from Emily's face and down to her hip, quickly spinning her around. "Oh my god..." Emily said with mock surprise. "Kaitlyn! Who'd have thought it could be you?!" she winked.
"What gave me away?" she asked as she stared in to Emily's eyes.
"You mean besides everything?" she giggled.
"Yeah besides that"
"I guess I was just hoping it was you" Emily said softly into Kaitlin's ear. Kaitlyn stammered, unsure of what to say back. Before she had a chance, the two of them caught sight of Annisa waving Kaitlyn to join them on stage.
"I've got to go... wait here for me ok?" she said with a timid expression.
"Sure thing" Emily beamed at her.
As with the night before, the band was amazing. Song after song gaining more cheers than the last. The crowd loved them and it was easy to see why. As Emily danced she locked eyes with Kaitlyn who seemed to only be singing to her. The air between them was electric. Emily could feel the fire in Kaitlin's look as she danced in front of her. The red and black dress moving fluidly as her hand moved over her body. She was sure for just a moment that she heard Kaitlyn stutter a word or two as she watched.
In what seemed like no time at all the band were playing their last song. Emily looked up at Kaitlyn who was moving to the slower melody as she sang. She leaned on the barricade that separated her from the stage and looked up at the beautiful girl in front of her. The last few lines of the song made Emily smile as she had a feeling that they were meant only for her.
"What's the point in love if it's just heartache?
What's the point of happy when it makes you ache?
But still there's still those ten words that I can't shake...
You'll miss all of the shots that you don't take."
With that she winked at Emily before leaning back into the mic. "Thank you everyone who came out tonight! We're Suicide Notes and we're here all week."
Practically jumping down from the stage, Kaitlyn bounded through the fans the gushed as she passed them. Within seconds she was face to face with Emily, taking her hand and holding it to her lips as she pressed a small kiss to her knuckles.
"So... shows over..." Kaitlyn said with a wry smile.
"So it is..." Emily said, trying her best to mask her obvious blush.
"You... wanna get out of here?" Kaitlyn asked nervously.
"As it so happens, I do" Emily said back giddily.
"Music to my ears" Kaitlyn winked, causing Emily to roll her eyes heavily. The two of them ran through the lobby and up the stairs, not even bothering to take the time to wait for the elevator. As they made it to her floor, Emily pulled Kaitlyn along by her arm. They passed James' door first and Emily noticed the thin line of warm light that was shining underneath it. Moving a few more step towards her room, she slipped the key card in to the door and opened it slightly before turning back to face Kaitlyn. The thoughts of what James had said earlier resonated in her mind. She searched Kaitlin's eyes and said in a soft tone; "Kaitlyn... are you sure... about this? About us?" She hadn't expected to sound so nervous, but something about Kaitlyn was cutting right through her, taking down every defence that she had set up around herself.
Kaitlyn gripped the handle of the door and pushed it open, leading Emily in to the dark room.
"Come on..." she said flirtatiously."I'll show you how a rockstar trashes a hotel room."
The door closed behind them as they were enveloped by the darkness.
All of the LIs in The Sophomore in their natural form ;)
James text ❤️ I'm hoping you think this sounds like James, I thought it did.
What If...
For #ChoicesCreates round 21: “What if...?” A Freshman/Sophomore fanfic.
Pairing: James x MC Rating: T (just to be safe)
MC asks an interesting hypothetical question while babysitting Rico with James...
@hollyashton @catsrtheboss
Boys from the Freshman : James Ashton
A long night... (James x MC (x zig?))
As you are crying on your bed in the fetal position you hear a soft knock on the door. There is no way you want company so you just ignore it but then you hear it creak open and a sliver of light comes through. You don’t even attempt to look up to see who it is, but you feel a gentle hand on your shoulder and the smell of coffee fills your senses. Neither of you say anything as you move into his arms and cry against his chest. You haven’t been that close to Zig, but right now he comforts you as your heart breaks. Finally at one point you start to say something, to try to explain to him why you are sobbing but he shushes you and softly says, “I know. Tyler told me that James called him after he realized you had left.”
You are so conflicted by that. Does James care or not? Do you care if James cares? Is it over? It feels over. You sob some more and Zig just holds you close. His strong presence is reassuring and you don’t feel so alone. He stands up for a second, grabs some tissue and returns. He lays you back onto the bed and puts the blanket over you. He puts the tissue by your pillow and just when you assume he is leaving, you feel the side of the bed dip down where he sits and then he lays down beside you. He puts his arm under your head and you again snuggle into his warm, inviting chest. He moves the hair out of your face as you fall into a fitful sleep.
When you wake up to the sun shining on your still blotchy and swollen face, Zig is gone and you wonder for a minute if it had been a dream or some kind of heartbreak hallucination but then you see a note by your pillow… “MC- Had to go to work early but come by if you want to talk.-Z.” You read the note, sigh deeply, then toss it in the trash. You don’t really want to get out of bed and face the world but you know you probably should. You shuffle to the bathroom, luckily avoiding anyone along the way. Unfortunately, as everyone who has ever had a broken heart knows, the shower.. the shower is where feelings come to the surface. You try to shake everything out of your mind but you keep coming back to James. His touch, his kisses, the sweet things he says… the changes, the fact that he has not been there for you like he should, Yasmin. Maybe you are naive. Maybe you love him more than he loves you… loved you. It’s not like it all happened in that one night. This has been an ongoing issue. An ongoing fight within yourself. You love him but maybe you just love being in love. You don’t want to be “that girl” who blindly stays with someone when everyone else knows that it’s never going to work out and they are just waiting for you to see it yourself. It is naive to think that he wouldn’t succumb to Yasmin’s advances. She’s beautiful and experienced. He was far from you and it had been a long time. Video chatting was not going to satisfy anyone and Yasmin was there, offering herself to him. How could he resist. You wash the tears from your face, take a couple of deep breaths and get out of the shower.
You plan to get dressed and go thank Zig and get some coffee but instead another wave of sorrow flows through your body and you sink into the bed once more, grabbing the tissues as you go. You sob yourself into another fitful sleep. The roommates come to check on you throughout the day but you don’t want to talk to them and quickly shoo them out of the room. They bring you water and ask if there is anything you need when you stumble to the bathroom ever so often but you shake your head and crawl back into your cave, still in your robe from after the shower that morning.
At one point when the sun was just starting to set, you hear them outside of your door talking about you. You hear Zig but you can’t make out what he is saying. Chris says, “You can try man but she won’t talk to us or even let us in there for more than 30 seconds.” You hear the door open slowly and Zig walks in carrying some coffee from work. He smiles. It’s your favorite of his smiles, the one where only one side of his mouth goes up. He usually does it when he’s smirking or embarrassed. You sigh loudly and sit halfway up to sip from the cup he brought for you. He asks how you are and at first you can’t say anything at all. You don’t know what to say. How am I?… I’m broken. But you stick with the standard, “Fine.” He smiles again, “I can see that. Do you mind some company?” You don’t. Not from him anyway. He’s soothing and strong. You shake your head and scoot over on the bed so he can sit by you. He rubs your shoulder and you get a warm feeling in the pit of your stomach. You know he won’t try anything when you are in this state of mind but you can’t help your own mind from going there. You look up into his eyes and it’s as if you are seeing him in a whole new way. You’ve seen the world through James-colored glasses since before you met Zig, so you never really thought of him that way but now… You shake those thoughts out of your head and ask him if he would mind staying for a while. He nods and you roll over with your back to him. He moves up the bed into a more comfortable position, kicks his shoes off and puts his arm around you. You allow your back to relax into his chest and fall into a less fitful sleep.
You wake up to your door slamming and someone shouting, “What the hell is going on here?!” Zig jumps out of your bed and you roll over to see James. He has a look in his eyes that you have never seen before. Zig responds calmly, “Listen, it’s not what you think. It’s not what it looks like.” You jump out of bed and stand between the two, worried about Zigs temper and glaring at James who is looking over your shoulder at Zig. You ask, “What are you doing here?” He looks down at you and back up to Zig, back and forth a few times before asking, “What is HE doing here?”
“James,” your voice falters, which pisses you off as you want to be stronger than that, “I don’t have to explain myself. If you would like to talk, I am going to ask that you wait outside of my room until I am ready.” You are impressed by the way you said that sentence however, as you pronounced each word slowly and calmly, like a mother does with an unruly child. You motion towards the door and he hesitantly follows your cue and steps outside but not before giving Zig one last cold glare.
Zig has started getting his things together to leave. "I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for him to walk in on that. I’m sure it did look bad. I’ll get out of here so you guys can talk or whatever.“ He stops and looks at you intently with his hand on your upper arm, “But I’ll be close if you need me.” You feel the sincerity in his statement and you nod and thank him for everything. You give him a big hug and you are the first one to pull away. You can tell he doesn’t want to go. "I’ll be ok Zig. I need to talk to him. I need to.. i just need to.“ Then you smile and say, “And by the way, don’t think I didn’t notice that some guy yelled at you and you kept your cool. I’m seriously impressed by that.” He rubs the back of his neck and smiles. That crooked little smile. A blush colors his cheeks but he doesn’t say anything. You lean forward and give him a little kiss on one of those cheeks. He stares into your eyes, as if looking for a sign. Something in your eyes that would tell him to stay. But you know you need to have this conversation with James and it’s safer for all involved if Zig is not there for it. You take a deep breath, give him a small smile and start walking towards the door. He stops you and says, “I’m going to call you. To make sure you are ok.” You nod and smile again and turn to open the door. You see James pacing back and forth in the kitchen. He stops when you come out the door and you see a pained expression on his face. He looks at you like he knows he’s too late and then he looks at Zig with anger once again but no one says anything and Zig starts to walk out the main door. He turns around and looks at you one last time, also looking a little sad and like he has more to say but he knows it is for the best if he keeps out of it. He walks out. You take a deep breath and turn to face James.
He comes around the kitchen island and tries to grab your hand. You snatch it away and walk towards your room. He follows. You shut the door behind you to avoid any interruptions. Finally he breaks the silence, saying, “MC, I.. I don’t even know where to begin. You were right. I was wrong. Yasmin is a bad person and I overlooked it and I overlooked you because I was so focused on this stupid movie. But I love you. And i’m sorry. I’m sorry for so much.“
You try to keep the tears from welling up in your eyes as you look up at him. All of these thoughts are going through your head; all of these things that you want to say, to yell… but you can’t. Nothing would come out. Finally you start to respond, "James… you know I love you.,” He nods, looking relieved, but you continue, “and you know me and you know that I am not some immature girl with low self-esteem, right?” He shakes his head, looking confused as to where you are going with this, “but for the last few months, I have not felt confident in myself or in our relationship. I’ve worried that you are…were… cheating on me with Yasmin. I’ve second guessed my feelings, your feelings. I have not been happy.” You start to cry and he comes over to comfort you but you push him away. You see that he looks as if his heart is breaking. He takes a deep breath, trying to avoid tears himself, and quietly says, “I never cheated on you and never would.” You give him a small smile and he continues, “and it is making me sick right now to hear you say that you haven’t been happy when all i want is to make you happy. I have screwed up. I took you for granted. I guess i just assumed that no matter how i acted or what i did, you would always be there and i didn’t stop to think that i need to appreciate you, or i could…,” his voice stammers as he chokes back tears, “lose you.” He sits down on the bed with his head in his hands and you can see by the movements of his back and shoulders that he is crying. You respond by saying, “I love you James but I don’t think i should be with you right now.” Tears stream down your cheeks and you honestly don’t know if you are making the right decision. As you stand here watching his heart break, feeling your own heart break, you just don’t know. You sink down to your knees on the floor and allow yourself to feel the heartbreak. James stands up and walks over to you with tears running down his face as well. He says, “I.. I can’t apologize enough for causing this. And I want you to know that I will respect your wishes but I love you with all my heart and I will do everything to make this up to you.” He puts his hand on your shoulder and continues, “I will give you some space to think about everything but I will not give up on us.”
You look into his eyes and see that he is truly in love with you and you feel you are in love with him. How can true love hurt like this? You are so confused. "I do love you James but I just don’t know. I just need some time to sort through everything.“ He nods and responds, "I understand. I’ve moved back here and I want to see you again. Can we talk tomorrow?” Shocked, you stand up to face him and ask, “But what about the movie?!” He shrugs, “You were right about all of it. It wasn’t me. It wasn’t my movie. Nothing good was going to come out of me staying there”.
“Oh James, I’m so sorry. I know you were really hoping this would open so many doors for you.”
“It still did. And at least this way, I have my dignity. But i would give up everything, if you would give me one more chance to prove my love to you.” He holds your hand up against his heart and you can see the sincerity. You feel the butterflies as he says that and your heart sticks in your throat. You nod and he starts to move in closer to kiss you but he stops when your gaze moves away from his. You can almost see his heart break and as much as you want to be kissed by him, you don’t want your decision to be skewed by the physical attraction or by some sense of not wanting to hurt his feelings. You realized earlier that you have really lost yourself these last few months. As you lead James to the door, you tell him, “I’m not saying I am there yet, but If we do decide to try this again, I want to make sure it is the right thing to do… for both of us. We have a lot more to talk about, but right now I would like to be alone.” He reluctantly agrees and slowly walks up to the door. He turns after walking through it and says, “I love you.” You shut the door slowly behind him and just stand there, not even sure what to do next. It’s going to be a long night…
I’m Here all Week p.6
"Hey Milly. Fancy meeting you here."
The sound of the familiar voice resonated with Emily as she stood between the doorway and James. Her head turned to look towards the girl whose Texas accent was a giveaway, standing in the doorway looking almost nervous. James quickly took note of her, recognising her all too easily from that morning. With a short sigh he walked further in to the function room, distancing himself from the two girls.
"Hey rockstar." Emily said, with a bright smile forming on her lips.
"Hey... so I was in the neighbourhood...." Kaitlyn said, taking a step closer.
"Of the hotel that you're staying and performing at?"
"Exactly. Pretty convenient right?" she laughed bashfully.
"Oh yeah, very convenient..." Emily laughed. "So to what do I owe the pleasure?" Kaitlyn tucked her long hair behind her ear and stepped closer to Emily, reaching out and pulling her hand into her own.
"Well, I knew you'd be here obviously..."
"Obviously"
"...and I've got about an hour before my gig. I was hoping maybe we could talk?"
"Oh... yes, I'd love to. I was hoping to this morning." Emily said with a bluish claiming the soft skin of her face.
"Yeah, I'm sorry about that... it's just.... can we maybe go somewhere a little more comfortable?"
"Want to sit at the bar? Maybe get a drink together?"
"I don't drink actually..." Kaitlyn said softly.
"Oh, I'm sorry..."
"No, no. just, bad college experience, you know?"
"I totally get that. There's a tonne of things I won't do now because of bad college experiences" Emily laughed.
"Oh... like what?"
"Nope. Not giving away all my secrets." she winked, prompting a laugh from Kaitlyn. "So what did you have in mind?"
"Well... we could go to your room?"
Emily felt the blush deepening as Kaitlyn said it. Her face was flushed with heat at the suggestion. Without a word, she made her way through the lobby; her hand still gripping Kaitlin's as they walked to the elevator. They stepped inside and the doors closed. Both girls were stealing short glances at the other. Both looking away when the other spotted her. Emily squeezed Kaitlin's hand tighter. Kaitlyn didn't look up but returned the gesture, a smile spread across her lips, hidden under the dark mass of hair that half covered her face. The elevator stopped on Emily's floor and the two girls wasted no time in getting to the bedroom. As Emily closed the door behind them, Kaitlin's eyes landed on the still unmade bed from the night before. Trying her best to keep this situation from becoming too confusing, she walked across the room and settled in to the comfortable chair that she had used this morning. Emily took the chair from the vanity desk and moved it to face Kaitlyn. Sitting down, Emily let out a shaky sigh as she waited for Kaitlyn to begin.
"So... about this morning..." Kaitlyn began softly. "...I'm sorry for running out of here so quickly. I really was late..."
"I understand Kaitlyn, its fine"
"No... It's not. I at least owed you an explanation, but all I did was shut you out."
"Kait...." Emily started before Kaitlyn interrupted her.
"Please, Milly. Let me finish. It wasn't just that I had to go..." her hands gripped each other nervously as she carried on. "I was scared... I was scared that I felt a connection with you even though we had just met. That's why last night...."
"I have to stop you there Kaitlyn." Emily said quickly. "It sounds like you're about to apologise for nothing happening between us. You never need to say sorry for that. I wouldn't want it unless I knew for sure that you did too."
Kaitlyn allowed herself to smile slightly. As silly as she felt about the situation, she believed what Emily had said. "and... there's more..." she looked more nervous now than before."When I opened the door, I was sure it was one of my friends. See, they had been texting me, looking for me. I figured that they worked out where I had gone and came to find me. So when I answered the door and saw you're...." she trailed off.
"Friend.... James."
"Your friend...." she didn't show it, but Kaitlyn felt a wave of relief roll over her."It kind of took me back to college. I felt like I was the one who might have just ruined something for you by doing exactly what my ex did when my parents visited. "Emily.... Milly, I don't want there to be any confusion here. And I know we haven't really known each other for long, but... I think I like you. You made me laugh so much last night; you listened to everything I had to say. You didn't mind that I wasn't ready to... you know. And you didn't freak out at me for running out on you. Even though you had a good reason to."
As Kaitlyn lifted her head, she saw Emily nervously playing with the belt loops of the dark jeans she wore. Her face was almost unreadable, but somewhere between confused and relieved.
"I don't know if this is going to go anywhere... but.... it'd be fun to find out right?" Kaitlyn giggled. Emily didn't say a word. Instead, taking in everything Kaitlyn was saying as best she could. "I've got to go. But I expect us to follow this up later, ok?"
"Will I... see you after your gig?" Emily asked shyly.
"Duhhh... didn't you get my invitation?" she said gesturing towards the open door of the bathroom, the mirror still strewn with the cherry red writing she had put there. With a laugh Kaitlyn walked over to the door and opened it. Turning back to Emily once more, Kaitlyn noticed her expression had softened into a doughy smile. With a kiss sent over her shoulder, Kaitlyn left.
Emily spent the next while replaying the moment in her mind. Trying to pull apart what Kaitlyn had said in an effort to make more sense of it. She stood up and shrugged off her blazer. As she let her hair down and shook it out, she heard the latch of James' door from just outside of her room. She walked over to the door that linked their rooms and gave a gentle knock. No answer. She knocked again, harder this time. Before she had even finished wrapping her knuckles against the wood, James opened the door. He stood there looking stoic and Emily felt his look press down on her.
"James?" she said tentatively. "Can we talk?"
"About what Emily?" his voice sounded exasperated. Emily hoped it was the convention that had taken it out of him, but also felt as though she knew better than that.
"About whatever the hell is going on. I have no idea what it is that I've done wrong James, but you can't keep brooding and waiting for me to figure it out. If I've upset you or pissed you off then I want to know how or why. This isn't fair." her voice was filled with emotion, the most noticeable of which was the hurt that she felt. He had brought her to this convention, outside of her comfort zone. Knowing that she was nervous, but seemed actively disinterested regardless.
"Emily..." his voice was apologetic at first. Then his face twisted into a scowl. "Do you really want to talk about being unfair Emily?" at the sound of his raised voice, Emily felt her stomach drop.
"James, I..."
"No Emily. Unfair is that for a month now, we've spent almost every day together, confided in each other. Then when we went out to MacKenzie's and you were drinking, you made that... hint of a move. I turned you down because I didn't want it to be like that. I wanted....." he trailed off as his hardened expression became softer, sadder. "...I wanted you Emily. I've wanted you since I first met you in that book store.... "
