right next to me
Jareau! reader is back to make her appearance again! and after that last episode, I feel like I had to write this. It didn’t turn out the way I had expected it to but I think it was alright enough. There are probably mistakes as usual so I’d like to apologize about that. Hope you enjoy!
p/s: I will be finishing up the current requests that I have; sorry it’s taking me longer than initially expected to work my way through them.
word: 1386 words
pairing: Spencer Reid x Jareau! Reader
summary: after what happened, you just needed to get away from Spencer and from JJ.
“Will you ever actually tell me what’s bothering you, dear?”
You look up from the photos you have been staring at and quickly wipe away the tears that managed to roll down your cheeks. Your mum furrows her eyebrows and you sit up, carelessly dropping your phone somewhere behind you. “I don’t know if I’m ever ready to talk about it, Ma.”
Sandy bites back the comment that threatens to leave her mouth and pushes the door open wider so that she could walk in to your room. She places the mug on the bedside table and sits down near you. “As much as I love having you here, Y/N and believe me, I will always love having my girls with me – it has been almost a week and JJ has yet to stop ringing me, asking me if you are here.” From the corner of her eyes, she catches you flinching at the sound of your sister’s name and she reaches for your hand, engulfing it with both of hers.
Your eyes start to tear up once again and you bit your lower lip just so you would not burst out crying. Your vision is starting to get blurry and you sniffle, swallowing the lump in your throat. It has been almost a week since you have seen anyone – when you had found out about Spencer’s latest case, you never thought it could change your world. But it did and you aren’t sure how to fix it at all. Deep down inside, you have always been afraid; what if Spencer had only gotten together with you because you were the next best thing to your own sister?
“Your gears are showing, Y/N.” Sandy murmurs and you bring your free hand up to run your fingers through your hair. “Does this have anything to do with why you have been crying and coped up in this room?”
You slowly nod your head, dropping your hand to your lap. “How do I know that he isn’t just with me because he couldn’t be with JJ, Ma?” You ask her, trying your hardest not to let your voice quiver under the hurt, the confusion and the fear form your words having any truth behind it.
Sandy inhales sharply, causing you to look at your mother with wide, teary eyes, surprised by her reaction to your words. “Do you hear yourself, Y/N? That boy is absolutely in love with you – anyone with working eyes can see that.” She tells you sternly and before you can even open your mouth to refute, she shakes her head. “No, now it is your turn to listen to me, darling. That Doctor of yours is crazy in love with you; I may not know well what happened, but I know for sure, that Spencer only has eyes for you.” She lifts one hand to cup your face and she uses her thumb to wipe away your tears. “He may have had those feelings for your older sister but that was a long time ago, wasn’t it? Has he ever mentioned having any feelings for your sister now? I don’t want you throwing your chance at happiness because you have these doubts, doubts that you should actually be talking to Spencer with.” You look away from your mum’s face, knowing that she is actually saying the truth, no matter how much you did not want to listen to those words. “You don’t actually believe Spencer loves your sister more than you? Have you given him a chance to talk to you?”
You shake your head, embarrassed at how you had simply upped and left without telling any of them. The first day you had arrived at your mum’s place, Spencer had called you non-stop and sent you multiple texts even and perhaps you had been too engrossed in your own hurt that you failed to realise that the man who rarely likes to text did in fact text you, multiple times. It wasn’t until you sent him a text telling him you needed a bit of time to sort out your feelings that the calls and texts gradually ceased. Now, it is already the seventh day since you arrived, and Spencer never fails to send you a text every morning and every night.
“No, I didn’t. I should have; I was just too focus on my own fears that I didn’t even give him a chance to talk at all.” You murmur but since it was just the two of you in the room, it was loud enough for your mum to hear and she pats your hand.
“Good, I take it that you know what to do now?” Sandy asks and you slowly nod your head. “I know it might be hard right now but just talk with Spencer.” She pulls you in for a hug and places a kiss on your temple. You nod your head and wrap an arm around her, burying your face on her shoulder.
“Thank you, Ma.”
After double checking with Garcia (she had given you an earful for taking off and not giving Spencer a chance to talk) about Spencer’s availability, you find yourself standing outside Spencer’s apartment with your luggage. Since that talk with your mum, you finally came to terms that you are only hurting Spencer and yourself for letting your own insecurities get to your head. So you gingerly knocked on his door – you hadn’t feel this nervous since the first time the two of you had gone on a date.
It takes Spencer a few minutes to open the door and when he opened the door and saw you standing there, Spencer almost drop the tie he had been holding. His eyes are wide as he takes in the sight of you. The last time the two of you parted, it hadn’t been really been on great terms so Spencer is more than nervous. He had missed you immensely – normally, even when he is on his cases, Spencer spends a few minutes talking to you every night before the both of you go to sleep and when you stopped picking up his calls or returning his messages, Spencer felt incomplete, like half of him was missing. (This was not far from the truth – you were missing from his side at that time).
Before Spencer could even get the chance to say anything, you immediately speak up “Spencer, I am so sorry for letting my insecurities get to me. Can you ever forgive me for hurting us?” You apologized, closing your eyes in the process, afraid of looking into Spencer’s face for fear of seeing something you did not want to see. When Spencer fails to reply immediately, you fear for the worse and just as you are about to open your eyes, a pair of arms gingerly wrap themselves around you and you are pulled to his chest. Your eyes shot open and you look up only to see Spencer looking at you with eyes so full of emotions, you actually teared up. “I’m really sorry, Spence.”
Spencer tightens his hold on you and shakes his head. “It’s alright.” He presses his nose against your hair, inhaling the scent that he has missed over the past week. Honestly, what happened during the case had scared him because Spencer knew if word ever reached you, you would be hurt over what had happened and just like he predicted, you were hurt. However, what Spencer had not counted on was the probability of you leaving for a while and that was when he realized that you take up so much presence in his life that he was lost without you. “It’s alright.” He murmurs and that is when Spencer feels your arms slowly snaking around his own waist and you hugged him back.
Spencer reckons the two of you have a lot to talk about but regardless of that fact, he knows he will work his hardest to keep you with him and even if this means convincing you just how much he loves you for the rest of his life, that is what he will strive to do. But right now, Spencer just wants to bask in the feeling of having you back in his arms. “I missed you.”
“I missed you too, Spence.”