Never Be His
Pairing - Jared x Reader, Jensen, Rosie (ofc).
Warnings - Angst, Cheating, Unrequited Love.
Word Count - 1.1k.
Written for - @spnangstbingo
Square Filled - Unrequited Love.
Spn Angst Bingo Masterlist
-
12 days. That’s all you had to make it through 12 days of work and that was it, it was hiatus. Pulling your hood up you kept your head down as you walked towards your trailer. A knock at the door broke through the silence. “Y/N, it’s me I’m not going away.” When you didn’t answer you thought he’d get the message and leave. “I have coffee.”
“Jensen, leave me alone!”
“Never, just let me in, he’s not here.”
Dragging yourself off the couch you unlocked the door flopping back down.”
“Did you even sleep last night?” He asked handing you a takeaway cup.
Shaking your head you looked up at him. “Probably half an hour.”
“You look exhausted.”
“Thanks.” Rolling your eyes at him you took a sip of coffee.
“I mean it, get some sleep you don’t have to be on set until after lunch.”
“I can’t sleep Jensen, every time I close my eyes I see it, I see them together, why did he do it, Jay? Why wasn’t I good enough? Am I not pretty enough? Is it because I’m fat? I know I haven’t lost all of the baby weight yet but I’m trying.” You couldn’t stop the tears from falling.
Jensen’s arm wrapped around you. “You’re not fat, you’re beautiful, funny, smart, Y/N you’re perfect and I don’t know why, I have no reason for why he’d throw your relationship away, all I know is that it hurts right now but it will get better, I’m here for anything you need.”
“Jay can we try to get everything shot as soon as we can I just want to get home to my Mom and Rosie.”
“I’ll see what we can do, let’s get you to make up.” Helping you to your feet he walked you to the hair and makeup trailer.
After half an hour you looked semi-alive, the girls chatted to you as they worked their magic distracting you from your crumbling personal life.
Jensen walked into the trailer smiling at you. “Ready?”
“Yeah, let's go.”
Walking out of the hair and makeup trailer you froze when you saw Jared leaning against the side of his trailer kissing her. “Y/N, come on.” Jensen gave your hand a small tug.
At the mention of your name, Jared looked up shoving her off him. “Y/N.”
“Jay I can’t do this.” The tears were already falling as you ran back to your trailer grabbing your phone and keys you bolted towards the car park, ignoring the two men calling your name behind you.
-
“Are you sure this is what you want to do?” Your Mom asked as she put on her coat.
“Yes it is, I want everything out and gone tomorrow.”
“I’ll send your brother's first thing in the morning to come and help you and keep Jared away from you.”
You squeezed your eyes shut at the mention of your husband’s name. “Okay, thank you for looking after Rosie for me.”
“Anytime that’s what I’m here for.”
“See you tomorrow Mom.”
“Goodbye, darling.” The door hotel room door shut behind her, silence filling the room. For the first time in nearly a week, you were alone, resting your back against the wall you slowly slid down it pulling your knees to your chest, you’d never felt so alone.
-
Knocking on his door he opened it with a furrowed brow. “Y/N? Are you okay? Come in.”
“I don’t want to be alone right now and I don’t want to call my Mom back, she’ll only worry and want to hit Jared again.”
Shutting the door behind you he smiled at you. “You can stay here, I’ll take the couch, you can have my bed.”
“No, I’ll have the couch.”
“I’m not arguing about this.”
“I’m sorry I just really don’t want to be alone.”
“It’s okay, I get it.” His eyes dropped to your 4-month-old daughter asleep in her carrier. “You don’t happen to have a crib in your case do you?” He nodded towards your suitcase by the door.
“No, I’m so sorry Jay, I’ll leave.” Turning to go he grabbed your arm.
“You’re not going anywhere you’re going to make yourself a cup of coffee or pour yourself a glass of whiskey, sit on the couch and relax, I’m going out I need to get groceries anyway, do you need anything else for her or you?”
Shaking your head you sat down on the couch.
“Okay, I’ll be home soon, if you need me call okay?” He leaned down kissing your cheek.
--
“How’re you doing?” Jensen asked as he pulled spare pillows and blankets out of the wardrobe.
“Better, thank you for this.”
“Good.” He nodded. “If you need anything I’m on the couch.” He pointed his thumb over his shoulder towards the lounge.
“Actually, can I ask you for one more thing?”
“Sure.”
“Please stay with me tonight.”
You watched him process what you’d asked. “Yeah okay.” Putting the blanket and pillows away he crawled into bed next to you, his arms wrapped around you, your head resting on his chest.
“Why?”
“I don’t know how he could ever throw away a life with you.”
Jensen held you as you cried, his arms holding you close as your tears soaked his v neck.
Rosie’s cries filled the room, wiping your eyes you got out of bed scooping your daughter up you gently rocked her. “Shh, baby girl, it’s alright, we’re gonna be okay, we have Uncle Jensen looking out for us.”
Jensen smiled as he watched you with your daughter, trying to ignore the knot in his stomach as he watched the woman who he fell in love with all those years ago and didn’t have the nerve to ask out until it was too late and you were with Jared. He watched as you wiped fresh tears from your cheeks with the cuff of your sweatshirt, his heart was breaking for you and all he could do is watch as you soothed your daughter and held back the tears.
When Rosie was asleep in your arms you placed her back in the crib Jensen bought her, crawling back into bed his arms wrapped around you again holding you close.
“I’m sorry.” Your fingers gently ran across his chest.
“Stop saying your sorry, if anyone should be saying sorry it’s Jared.”
“He has multiple times I can just never forgive him.”
“I know.” He sighed.
“Thank you for this.”
“Anytime, that’s what I’m here for.”
Taking a deep yet shaky breath you closed your eyes resting your head on his chest you relaxed in his arms. “I love you, Jay.”
“I love you too darlin’.”
Jensen fell asleep with you in his arms knowing you’d never love him the way he loved you, knowing you’d never be his.
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