#jared svenning

[every-viewaskew-board]

Every View Askew Board #13 - Jared Svenning (Mallrats)

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*gif 5 made by me!

[rstvideo]

Model sheet by Phil Hester and Ande Parks for a Mallrats comic concept that ended up never being produced

[rootbeergoddess]

With Love, Jared

My good friend Linsday aka @rookerstash-after-dark commissioned me to write some reader x Jared Svenning from Mallrats. You’re a janitor who comes into work one day to find someone has left you a gift. Who could this secret admirer be?

Never in your life had someone sent you flowers and you have accepted that fact. It was a nice, silly, romantic dream to have. That was what it was for a while, just a dream. But one day, you opened up your locker at work to find a huge bouquet of red roses. When you audibly gasped, your co-workers gathered around to see. It was a beautiful bouquet with baby’s breath and a huge pink bow wrapped around it.

“Wow, those are gorgeous! Who are they from Y/N?” Someone asked.

“Odd, I don’t see a note,” You sniffed the flowers, “They smell lovely though.”

The flowers were just the beginning. The next day, you found a box of Godiva chocolates waiting for you. The box was massive so you decided to share it with your co-workers. While you were sweeping up in the hallway, you spotted Jared. Smiling, you waved him over.

“Jared, care for a chocolate?” You asked, reaching into your pocket.

“As long as they’re not chocolate pretzels,” Jared grinned, “I’d love some.”

“I put them into a plastic bag so I could share them with people throughout the day,” You explained, “Someone got this big box of Godiva chocolates.”

“I saw,” Jared said, “Pretty fancy.”

“I know right? Godiva is the good stuff,” You opened up the bag, “There are so many chocolates too! I don’t think I’ve tried them all.”

“Looks like you got a secret admirer,” Jared reached into the bag, “Lucky you.”

“Oh, Jared, please! Why would someone admire me? I don’t have anything to offer anyone.”

“Aw, don’t be like that,” Jared pulled out two chocolates, “You’re good at cleaning. No one scrubs toilets better than you.”

“Such a charmer,” You giggled, “Oh, Mr. Svenning, seduce me with your vast knowledge of cleaning supplies.”

Jared chuckled and you chuckled too. Svenning was a bit older than you but you enjoyed his company. You didn’t know much about his past mainly because he didn’t talk about it. A lot of people say he had trouble with the law back in the day. That was hard to believe. Svenning was so polite. How could he be a bad boy? You just couldn’t see it. He was probably your closest friend at work.

“I have to go clean the lady’s restroom but I’ll see you at lunch okay?” You asked with a smile.

“See ya.”

The next day, you found another gift in your locker. It was wrapped in a lovely golden wrapping paper with a silver bow. You opened up the box and found a string of pearls lying inside. This was probably the prettiest thing you owned. Everyone was whispering in awe as you took the pearls out of the box. For a second, you were afraid to put them on but one of your friends said it would better to wear them.

“Someone might have sticky fingers. You never know.”

So with her help, she put the necklace around your neck. It was simple but so beautiful too. It made you feel elegant. While you ran your fingers along the pearls, you wondered who had left you such a wonderful gift. You had a smile on your face throughout the whole day. Whoever was sending you gifts really was spoiling you. And it was nice. No one had ever made you feel special before.

“If you smile any bigger, your grin might leave your face.” Jared said.

“Oh, sorry,” You kept smiling, “Did you see my necklace? Isn’t it beautiful?”

“Yeah. Do you like it?”

“I love it!” You said as you continued mopping the floor, “This is honestly the nicest gift I’ve ever received. I also love pearls. Pearls and sapphires are my favorite gems.”

“Really? I didn’t know that,” Jared poured more water into the mop bucket, “What’s your favorite color?”

“Purple!”

“What about your favorite candy?” Jared started wetting his mop.

“Oh, I love butterfingers,” You answered, “Anything else you want to know?”

“What? I just want to learn more about my dearest friend,” Jared shrugged, “Like what kind of movies do you like?”

“Oh horror! I love horror and mysteries. I love creepy stuff,” You replied, “What about you?”

“Um--I guess I like adventure films. Like Indiana Jones.”

“Oh, I enjoy that movie too!” You smiled at him, “What’s your favorite animal? I like cats but I also like quokkas.”

“Quo-whats?” Jared asked.

“Wait, I’ll show you!” You reached into your pocket and got out your phone, “It’s a marsupial like a kangaroo. You can only find them in Australia. They live on a special reserve.”  

You brought up a picture and showed Jared. He smiled.

“Pretty cute,” Jared said, “Um--I like dogs but I also like geckos. I know it’s odd. I’ve always liked lizards when I was a kid.”

“Really?” You put your phone away, “That’s kinda cute.”

Jared smiled, blushing a bit. As you two continued to clean, you wondered why Jared didn’t have a girlfriend or wife. He knew he had a daughter but he didn’t really talk about her a lot. Something had happened to strain his relationship with her so you didn’t bring it up. Jared could be a bit rough around the edges but he was very sweet once you got to know him. The more you thought about it, the more you realized that Jared would make a really good boyfriend. Possibly a good husband.

When your were finished with work, you opened up your locker. There was another box waiting for you. This time, it was wrapped with silver wrapping and had a small golden box on top of it. Opening it up, you found a pair of matching earrings to go with your necklace. You smiled as you placed the box into your pocket and headed home. As you did, you saw Jared again. You waved to him before you headed out to your car.

You wondered what your secret admirer would give you tomorrow.

“Oh, adorable!”

Your secret admirer had gone all out. Sitting in your locker was the most adorable stuffed  quokka. There was a huge purple bow around it’s neck. Smiling, you picked it up out of the basket it was sitting in and hugged it. This was literally the most perfect gift in the history of gifts. Then, you looked at the basket. Your secret admirer had made a bouquet out of Butterfingers!

“Wow,” Someone said, “Y/N, if you find this guy or girl, you need to marry them. They’re spoiling your rotten.”

You smiled and gave the stuffed quokka a hug again.

The rest of the day, you were on cloud nine. It really was nice to have someone treating you like a queen. If only you knew who it was. You really wanted to meet them. While you were cleaning, you wondered how they figured out about your favorite candy and animal. Quokkas were a real random animal. A lot of people didn’t know what they were. The only person here who knew that was Jared.

Wait a minute.

Could it be…?

“No,” You told yourself, “Jared is just a friend. Besides, he probably has a girlfriend. I better get back to work.”

When it was time to leave, you found a golden envelope waiting for you. Interested, you opened it up and found an invasion.

“You are cordially invited to Rowdy’s Steakhouse,” You read, “Oh wow! Rowdy’s? No way! That place is expensive! And I’ll finally get to meet my secret admirer! I can’t wait!”

The spent all of Saturday getting ready for your date. It had been a while since you had gone out. You wanted to look nice. Plus, you wanted to impress whoever had been leaving you all these gifts. They liked you, that much was obvious, but you really wanted to make sure you looked good. Of course, you wore the pearls they bought you. Thankfully, you had a nice red dress to wear. You had gotten your nails, hair and makeup done, wanting to look perfect.

Your secret admirer didn’t stop spoiling you. Instead of driving yourself, you found a limo waiting for you. You got in the car, practically bouncing . This was extremely exciting for you. Who was it going to be? Was it someone you knew? But then you asked yourself, what if this whole thing was a prank? No, that wouldn’t make sense. No one would spend this much money on a prank.

The car parked in front of the restaurant and the driver helped you out of the car. Inside, you looked around to see if you could spot your admirer. Frowning, you couldn’t pick out who it was. Then, you spotted in Jared. He was grinning like mad, waving at you. Smiling, you headed over to him. He was holding a bouquet of purple flowers. When you reached him, you realized why he was here.

“Jared---you’re my secret admirer?”

“Yeah,” He offered you the flowers, “Surprised?”

“I--yes actually. I didn’t think I was your type,” You blushed a bit, “I thought you might have a girl.”

“Nope,” Jared was blushing too, “I wanted to ask you out for a long time but I didn’t know what to say. I decided to give you gifts first. How did I do?”

“This was the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me,” You said, kissing his cheek, “I mean you could have just asked me out but this was nice. I’ve never been spoiled before.”

“I’d like to spoil you more,” Jared pulled out a chair for you, “So, what do you think?”

“Hm,” You sat down. “Well, you are my closest friend, you’re romantic, you listen and you’re also extremely cute. So, yes, yes you can spoil me more.”

“You think I’m cute?” He asked with a happy grin.

“Yep,” You said as he sat down, “But I still want to know how you afforded all of this?”

“I grabbed a few extra hours here and there. I also did some odd jobs,” Jared admitted, “I wanted to give you the best I could afford.”

“You know you don’t have to do that.”

“I don’t have to do it but I can and I will. Only the best for the object of my affections.”

“Oh you’re good.”

@allhailkingrooker51 , @yondu-gonna-do-about-it , @lucifers-trash-stash , @babelincolns , @socktrollqueen, @missmendelsohn, @the-galaxy-savers

[apoterra85]

Hmmm....Today I notice, the german politican Ralph Brinkhaus looks simlary to the Mallrats Character Jared Svenning played by Michael Rooker.

He works for the CDU so maybe is just as sympathic like Jared.

[rileyomalley]

Man since I read that oneshot of comfort with Jared Svenning I almost want more fics of him

[weapon13whitefang]

Give me a character meme (Rooker Edition): Jared Svenning (Mallrats), Hal Tucker (Cliffhanger) and Grant Grant (Slither). Thank You !

HAHAHA! I love that you all like making me break down MR so much! This pleases me!

Jared Svenning [Mallrats]

How I feel about this character: He’s a bit of a nutcase. I mean he puts up a whole TV show just to keep his daughter from marrying someone and that’s freaking hilarious/insane! I find him crazy lol

All the people I ship romantically with this character: T.S./Jared because I’m fucking weird lol. But I also have a headcannon about his wife and why she wasn’t present for the movie so yeah lol.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: LaFourse and Jared look like they’d be awesome friends hahaha.

My unpopular opinion about this character: I don;t think I could say anything someone hasn’t already noted.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: The “after the wedding” tension between him and J.T. I sooo hope that Mallrats 2 is a thing!

Hal Tucker [Cliffhanger]

How I feel about this character: I feel bad for him! He watched his girlfriend - probably someone he really cared/liked/loved - fall to her death and then loose his best friend because of anger and blame and hurt. Like shitty drawl of the card man.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Hal/Sarah, Hal/Jessie, and Hal/Gabe (Hooott hehe)

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Hal and Frank BROTP! And Hal and Gabe friendship before and after the movie!

My unpopular opinion about this character: Don’t really have one besides I think Rooker looks a little weird in this movie, but then again he lost a lot of weight and bulked up from this film.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I would have liked to have been able to see Hal and Gabe really talk/show amends with the past with Sarah and that their friendship was back!

Grant Grant [Slither]

How I feel about this character: Strangely sad for him and his falling marriage with Starla. From the sneakphotos around the house you can see that they did love each other at one point. I mean I guess I just wonder how it pittered off so bad and then this poor bastard gets infected and killed and turned into this creepy mutant thing! Poor dumbass lol.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Just him and Starla. The part of Grant that the monster didn’t fuck with was how he cared for Starla, even with their marriage falling apart. The monster couldn’t get rid of that and so he tried using it on Starla and that sucks. But him and Starla are my pick.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: None come to mind really… I mean I kinda liked the Brenda/Grant thing but only with them as like friends or something.

My unpopular opinion about this character: The only time I found him attractive in the movie was when he’s trying to make-out/half-naked with Starla and later when the parasite first infects him and he’s all “Explore and mate” with her. Otherwise YUCK XD.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I wish the parasite monster could’ve been driven out of Grant and everyone and him could have been saved. No way would him and Starla have worked out after that but it sucks he had to die. That everyone had to pretty much die! Lame!

And there you go!