Our musical, The Art of Pleasing Princes, premieres Monday 4/13 at 6pm ET!
In a glittering royal palace at the center of a cataclysmic drought, five queer misfits band together to kill the king and save the world. Betrayal, infighting, and paranoia make forming community harder - and more necessary - than ever before.
The Art of Pleasing Princes is a new musical by Mel Hornyak and Elliot Valentine (Melliot) with a medieval fantasy setting and a rock and electro pop score. This workshop production was produced and presented by the Phoenix Players at Hobart and William Smith Colleges in Geneva, NY on 4/3/26 and 4/4/26. Come watch the premiere on Youtube on Monday 4/13 at 6pm ET!
A new version of “Blood Oath” from our musical, The Art of Pleasing Princes, is now available to stream!
When King Astor passes over his son for the throne, the queer underbelly of the royal palace is endangered. Five unlikely compatriots plot to kill the king, while betrayal, infighting, and self-doubt make forming community harder - and more necessary - than ever.
Have a little gay courtier song! (A demo of "Everything but Love" from the revision of our musical, The Art of Pleasing Princes.)
In a fantasy world where a despotic royal court is destroying the environment, five queer misfits band together to kill the king and save the world. Betrayal, infighting, and vengeance make forming community harder - and more necessary - than ever before.
Lyrics under the cut!
Lyrics:
I’VE FOLLOWED ALL THE RULES.
I’VE DONE THE BEST I CAN.
A WHISPER IN THE PERFECT EAR,
WHILE WAITING FOR THE PERFECT MAN…
I’VE MADE IT PRETTY FAR
BUT WHEN PUSH COMES TO SHOVE
I’M STILL NOT WHERE I WANTED.
I HAVE EVERYTHING BUT LOVE.
THE MOMENT I KNEW WHO I WAS,
I WANTED TO LIVE HERE.
ROMANCE HAPPENED AT THE PALACE.
PEOPLE DANCED THERE WITHOUT FEAR.
I WORKED AS A CLERK, A SERVANT, A SCRIBE,
EARNED THE PLACE I WAITED FOR
I THOUGHT ALL MY TROUBLES WERE OVER
WHEN I FIRST WALKED THROUGH THAT DOOR.
I SAW SATIN GLOVES AND SWEET PERFUME
CHANDELIERS IN EVERY ROOM
LEMON TREES THAT SOFTLY BLOOM
I SAW EVERYTHING BUT LOVE
IT DIDN’T TAKE ME LONG TO FIND
OUR LOVE WAS STILL AROUND.
SECRET NOTES IN CODED LETTERS,
KISSING SOFT WITHOUT A SOUND.
BUT I NEED MORE THAN SHADOWS.
I WANT TO BE IN THE LIGHT!
I THOUGHT THE KING WOULD LISTEN
IF I DID EVERYTHING RIGHT.
NOW I HAVE SOME FRIENDS I’M PROUD TO KNOW
CANDLELIGHT AND EVENING GLOW
STRAWBERRIES IN THE SNOW
I HAVE EVERYTHING BUT LOVE
EVERYTHING BUT LOVE
I’VE EATEN A HUNDRED INSULTS
I’VE SWALLOWED A THOUSAND BITES
I’VE LAUGHED AT JOKES THAT BURN ME
I’VE CRIED FOR COUNTLESS NIGHTS
I’VE SAID WHATEVER’S NEEDED
I’VE STILLED MY ACHING HEART
AND NOW BECAUSE OF A VICIOUS RUMOR
I’M RIGHT BACK AT THE START!
I DON’T NEED ALL THE POWER I CAN GET
I DON’T NEED A BARONET
BUT I NEED THEM NOW SO I’LL BE SET
FOR THE MAN I’M DREAMING OF!
I DON’T NEED POLITICS OR FAME
I DON’T NEED TO MAKE MY NAME
DON’T NEED TO WIN THE OLDEST GAME
I DON’T NEED ANYTHING
I DON’T NEED ANYTHING
I DON’T NEED ANYTHING BUT LOVE.
"Princess Impossible" from our fantasy musical The Art of Pleasing Princes, sung by Malea Kimberly! In this song, a princess finds herself next in line for the throne — and realizes she doesn’t want to become queen. Find places to stream the song here!
Lyrics under the cut.
MAYA:
WHAT AM I THINKING?
THIS WAS THE PLAN.
THIS WAS ALWAYS THE PLAN.
PLAY BY THE RULES ‘TILL YOU’RE WANTED
FIND A PURPOSE TO SERVE
FIND A CROWN, FIND A MAN
FIND A HUSBAND TO SERVE
FIND AN HEIR, FIND A MAN
SO WHAT IS THE PROBLEM NOW?
WHO IS THIS PERSON
WHO BEGS TO BE FREE
OF THIS ROLE,
THIS ROUTINE?
A PRINCESS IMPOSSIBLE
MADE TO BE QUEEN.
THIS FACE WILL BECOME A PORTRAIT
TO BE HUNG IN THE ANCESTORS’ HALL
FOR PEOPLE TO WALK BY AND SAY MY NAME
BUT NOT KNOW WHAT I FELT LIKE AT ALL.
SO, GOD, WHAT WAS IT FOR?
ALL THE SITTING HERE WAITING
FOR THE CHANCE TO EXPLORE
WHAT I AM
OR WHAT I MEAN?
A PRINCESS IMPOSSIBLE
NEVER A QUEEN
DEEP IN THE MIRROR THERE’S SOMEONE–
NOT A QUEEN OR A KING OR A KNIGHT–
I’D GO AND BE HER IF I COULD JUST SEE HER!
BUT NOTHING I LOOK LIKE LOOKS RIGHT.
YOU BUILD YOUR LIFE UP BRICK BY BRICK.
YOU LIVE IN THE MIDDLE AND DON’T MIND THE END.
YOU COULD BE A LOVER
YOU COULD BE A FIGHTER
YOU PROBABLY WON’T, BUT IT’S NICE TO PRETEND.
SO WHY, WHEN THE FUTURE BECOMES THE NOW
IS IT STILL SO HARD TO LET GO?
I ALWAYS KNEW THOSE WERE NOTHING BUT DREAMS
BUT PART OF MY HEART
STILL DOESN’T KNOW.
SO GOD, WHAT WAS IT FOR?
GOD, WHAT WAS IT FOR?
TO GET CLOSE ENOUGH TO SEE
THAT I DON’T WANT IT ANYMORE!
UNPREPARED!
UNFORESEEN!
A PRINCESS IMPOSSIBLE
MADE TO BE QUEEN
A PRINCESS IMPOSSIBLE
MADE TO BE QUEEN
We're going to be sharing a new The Art of Pleasing Princes song at Musical Theater Factory's Hot Mic Night in NYC on Nov. 6th!
Feat. Alex Conboy as Maddox, Lana Gaige as Rowan, and Subin Kara Ahn as Louis, with music direction and piano by Halle Mitchell and guitar by Caleb Conaway. Come through if you're in the area (more info and tix here) -- and if you're not, it will eventually be posted online!
Have a knight song for your night! (A demo of "I Don't Know" from the revision of our musical, The Art of Pleasing Princes. Yes, it has the same title as Jason's song from the first draft and yes, it is a totally different song.)
Lyrics under the cut!
JASON:
I’VE BEEN ALONE A LOT THESE DAYS.
THAT’S NOT MY STYLE.
I LISTENED TO PEOPLE PASSING BY.
I WORKED HARD TO DISAPPEAR.
IF YOU LISTEN HARD ENOUGH, YOU CAN’T HEAR ANYTHING.
IT’S MY JOB TO LISTEN, NOT TO HEAR.
I’VE BEEN ALONE A LOT THESE DAYS.
IT’S NOT GOOD FOR ME.
YOU MISS THE THINGS YOU USED TO HATE.
SOME SANDY BREAD, A BOOK, A DRINK.
I LIKED TO READ ENOUGH TO KNOW THE WORLD.
IT’S MY JOB TO KNOW THINGS, NOT TO THINK.
BUT I’VE BEEN THINKING - WHAT IF I DID IT?
I DON’T REMEMBER THAT NIGHT.
AND YOU SAID - WELL - IT COULD BE TRUE.
I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S IN MY HEAD.
I DON’T KNOW WHAT I COULD DO.
I’VE BEEN ALONE A LOT THESE DAYS.
IT HELPS ME THINK.
LIKE HOW AM I HERE, IF THINGS WERE SO GOOD?
WHEN A SWORD MISSES, THE SWORD’S NOT TO BLAME.
THE GUARDS DOWN HERE ARE JUST HIRED SWORDS.
IT WAS MY JOB TO SWING IT, NOT TO AIM.
BUT I’VE BEEN THINKING - WHO IS TO BLAME?
THE BOOKS ALL SAY IT WAS ALWAYS THIS WAY
BUT YOU SAID - WELL - WE DID THIS SOMEHOW.
I DON’T KNOW WHAT ELSE I’VE DONE.
I DON’T KNOW IF IT MATTERS NOW.
WHEN YOU’RE IN THE MACHINE,
YOU DON’T ASK WHAT IT MAKES.
YOU DON’T ASK WHERE IT COMES FROM.
YOU DON’T ASK WHAT IT TAKES.
WE ALL HAVE OUR ORDERS.
WE ALL WANT TO STAY ALIVE.
BUT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE
I KILLED MYSELF
JUST TRYING TO SURVIVE.
AND I’VE BEEN THINKING - WAS IT SO GOOD?
WHEN TOMORROW WAS LIKE YESTERDAY
AND YOU WERE ALWAYS THERE.
I NEVER THOUGHT MY LIFE WAS PERFECT
BUT I THOUGHT MY LIFE WAS FAIR.
BUT MAYBE ALL WE EVER HAD
WAS THE PRIVILEGE NOT TO CARE.
AND NOW YOU'RE BUILDING A WORLD WITHOUT ME
SOMETHING SHARP AND COLD AND NEW
I’VE NEVER WANTED ANYTHING THAT MUCH,
BUT IF I DID-
I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’VE DONE.
I DON’T KNOW WHAT I MIGHT DO.
Will there be any official word on if 2aopp will be released on YouTube anytime soon?
Yes! We are filming the performances this weekend, and it will be released either at the end of the month or in May (a more exact date will be announced closer to the end of the month once we are in the post-production process!)
