Headcanon: Tim Drake Regrets His Internet Habits
Tim Drake is chronically online. Like, if the internet had a landlord, he would be the one paying rent. He can find anything—obscure government documents, black-market deals, secret underground fight clubs, and, unfortunately, the forbidden texts.
By forbidden texts, I mean fanfiction. More specifically? The very detailed, very questionable, very steamy fanfiction about the Batfamily.
It started as an accident. He was doom-scrolling at 3 AM, as one does, sipping on his fifth coffee of the night, when he found a fic tagged: "Broody Billionaire x His Devoted Protégé 👀🔥"
Tim thought, Huh. Weird. Wonder what this is about.
Click.
Tim immediately regretted it.
Because it was Bruce. And it was… very descriptive. And it wasn’t just Bruce. It was Bruce and—
OH GOD, NO.
Tim slammed his laptop shut. Took a breath. Reopened it. Because morbid curiosity is stronger than self-preservation.
And that was how he spiraled into the absolute nightmare that was Batfamily fanfiction. There was shipping. There were scenarios. There were pet names. Pet names.
And worst of all? The amount of fics about him.
TIM.
TIM DRAKE.
THE THIRD ROBIN.
People wrote things about him. Steamy things. With other members of the family. And some of them weren’t even that unrealistic, which somehow made it worse.
Tim tried to look away. He really did. But it was like a car crash—you hate it, but you have to look.
It only got worse when he found the self-insert fics. You know the ones. The "Batman adopts me and now I'm part of the Batfamily but also in a love triangle with Nightwing and Red Hood and also I have superpowers and a tragic past but everyone loves me" ones.
Tim read five. For research.
Then he made the mistake of telling Jason.
"Wait, wait, wait," Jason wheezed, practically in tears. "You mean to tell me… you found Batman fanfiction? Like, full-on smutty fanfiction?"
Tim deadpanned. "I found fanfiction of us."
Jason froze. "…Us?"
Tim just nodded.
Jason opened his mouth. Closed it. Then stood up. "Yeah. No. I'm out. I'm leaving Gotham. Forever. Tell Alfred I love him."
And then he walked away.
Tim swore to never tell Dick. Ever.
But Damian? Damian somehow found out.
And that was how Tim woke up one morning to find Damian standing over his bed, holding his laptop, his expression utterly disgusted.
"Drake."
Tim groaned, rubbing his face. "Damian, what—"
Damian turned the screen toward him.
Tim glanced.
It was a fic titled: "Little Demon x Replacement - Forbidden Love ❤️🔥"
Tim screamed.