PUT THE FEAR OF FRENCH (and BBH) INTO HIM 💪💪🇫🇷🇫🇷 (transcript below)
[Video Transcript:
Jack: Stay away from fucken’— I’m just getting a lot of ‘stay away from’s. Badboyhalo, fucken— Etoiles
Tubbo: Yeah, stay away from Etoiles. Definitely stay away from Kenny.
Jack: I— I don’t even know who Kenny is!
Tubbo: Uhh, I don’t know, he’s one of— one of Etoiles’ mates
Jack: Oh my god (sighs)
Tubbo: If you give yourself a Skeppy skin maybe you can get the psychological warfare advantage
Jack: This is a good strat, this is a good strat, I’m working—
Tubbo: It’s literally all psychological warfare
Jack: —I’m working on a Skeppy, I’m working on a Skeppy skin as we speak
Tubbo: Yeah. Basically all of the French streamers are kind of— crazy good
Jack: Someone should— right, I’ve got an idea Tubbo, but it might be illegal
Tubbo: What?
Jack: We need to cut off the grid in France
Tubbo: (laughs) Noooo!
Jack: It’s the only way
Tubbo: Noooo, leave Etoiles alone! Leave him alone!
Jack: If we go to France and we— what we’re gonna do, I need a shovel and a dream
Tubbo: Leave him alone!
Jack: Oh, and a plane ticket to France, and what I’m gonna do is go, and I’m gonna go, ‘Yes!’, I’m gonna have a high-vis jacket, and I’m gonna go, ‘Yes, I’m a maintenance worker!’ And then I’m gonna start digging and (drrrt noise) oops! Shovel through the fibre optic cable!
Tubbo: Leave Etoiles alone, leave him alone!
Tubbo: Well Etoiles shouldn’t be a threat to me then
Tubbo: Leave him alone!
Tubbo: He would still find a way and probably get the train to the UK
Jack: My guys will be there to apprehend him
Tubbo: Your guys? Oh, from Manifold Legal
Jack: You know of my guys
Tubbo: You mean Manifold Legal, right?
Jack: Oh yeah, they be there and they go, ‘Mmm, is this legal?’
antoine + étoiles insane moments, p.2. aka the ass saga. p1 here
transcript + context for some of the clips below
[Video Transcript:
[First clip plays.]
Rivenzi: You want to see Etoiles’ ass, of course…
Antoine: Yeah, I’m gonna stare at your ass, Etoiles…
Etoiles: Fuck, what dread, during Popcorn [a talkshow Etoiles had been invited on the previous week], when I went up to the map and you said that, and I thought ‘whoa—‘
Antoine: Sorry
[Second clip plays: the moment during Popcorn]
PA/Domingo: Antoine Daniel has posted a tweet for us: ‘I wanted to look at this map of Africa, but Etoiles’ ass in the shape of a standing bell is driving me crazy. Smiley face with eyes in the shape of hearts.’
[Third clip plays: a continuation of the first clip.]
Antoine: Sorry, bro…
Ponce: Oh but that tweet, besides
Rivenzi: A standing bell…
Antoine: What’s more is that I never tweet and when I do it’s to tweet this sort of shit
Ponce: That’s exactly what I told myself. When PA read the tweet, I thought to myself, ‘but he never tweets!’ And he tweets to talk about Etoiles’ ass
Antoine: There needs to be a good reason, you see
[Fourth clip plays: a clip from the Team du Lundi’s minecraft server.]
JDG: Someone (in chat) said, ‘I can’t tell whether the atmosphere is good tonight or—‘
Antoine: It sucks, it sucks
Florence: You don’t need to ask every time, it always sucks
Baghera: Always sucks. Especially when Etoiles talks about ass [which had been a previous topic of discussion for him that night]
Antoine: Stooop, I enjoy it
Mynthos: You enjoy it?
JDG: It’s true tonight that it’s more weird than bad
Antoine: I like it when Etoiles talks about ass….
[Fifth clip plays: a second and different clip from Popcorn.]
Etoiles: —you’re not allowed to tell me that [Xari claimed to not know much about cinema]. I know you, I studied, because you’re my rival [in pop culture]. I really enjoy what you do in life, Xari, and you’re really knowledgeable about cinema
Antoine: What do you mean he’s your rival? And I’m just shit?
Etoiles: You, you’re my lover
Antoine: Oh yeah, sorry, my bad
PA/Domingo: One of the three is gonna die soon. There’s a whole situation, there’s a whole lore
[Sixth clip plays: a clip from the QSMP.]
Antoine: Don’t you want to get married, dude?
Etoiles: Well, I don’t have the time to fuck
Antoine: What the fuck?!
Etoiles: I don’t have time to fuck, dude. I just need to kill everyone
Antoine: No but just a marriage, you see. You’ve watched Game of Thrones— you haven’t watched Game of Thrones, you can’t know how marriages work in that series
Etoiles: I’ve watched it, but I’m married to the street, dude. I can’t give out my heart that quickly
Antoine: Yeah but you can give out your ass quickly, no?
Etoiles: No, frankly, my ass—
Antoine: What the fuck?!
Etoiles: Giving out your ass takes time, dude
Antoine: What the fuck…
Etoiles: Then again, I need to think about it. I’ll give you my answer. I need to discuss, and everything
Antoine: I’m tired of getting betrayed. You get married with someone else—
Etoiles: Never in a million years!
Antoine: —it’s like yesterday. Apparently Maximus got the mic from his ass removed while I wasn’t there. I was supposed to be the one to do it
Etoiles: Oh okay, so I’m your second choice?
[Overlapping]
Antoine: No! It was just to help him—
Etoiles: No, but, okay
Antoine: He got— listen—
Etoiles: There’s no problem!
Antoine: Fuck, nevermind
Etoiles: There’s no issue! Oh, so you’re opening my chest and stealing?
Antoine: I was just looking! Out of curiosity
Etoiles: Yeah, that’s it
Antoine: I don’t even understand what’s in it
Etoiles: Yeah, out of curiosity. Dude, your opinion on my cave?
rapid fire french rayou strikes again (transcript below the cut)
[Video transcript:
[ENG] Etoiles: I— I’m speedrunning it [Mario Party], but it’s like—
[FR] Etoiles: The next person to bust my balls by saying, ‘he’s going to miss the Ascension [French competitive event happening this Saturday 28/10]’ even though my plane is at six PM, you bunch of morons, it’s not because ZeratoR [Ascension event organiser] said once that I’d miss my plane that I will miss my plane, because what you guys don’t understand is that a plane doesn’t get missed if you arrive three hours in advance, and the last time I missed the plane was because my corresponding flight was one hour and a half [late]!
[ENG] Etoiles: I was just saying to my chat that I love them :)
Tina: Awhhh
Foolish: See, once again I have a feeling maybe that wasn’t—
some notable moments from the qsmp meta talk antoine, étoiles, baghera and co had yesterday, including the stuff i mentioned in this post <3 subtitles in eng, transcript in eng below the cut as well (I apologize for the bad video quality my wifi hates me)
[Video Transcript:
[First clip begins]
Etoiles: I’m— I’m gonna go on QSMP, I think
ZeratoR: (laughs) This really made him want to play Minecraft
Baghera: Ohh, lucky, I miss it
Etoiles: But— you still can’t come back?
Antoine: Well, technically, she could come back, but I don’t think it’s as simple as that
Baghera: (pained) Not as simple as that….
ZeratoR: What are you waiting for?
Etoiles: It’s Lost, it’s Lost
Antoine: Well, her character is dead in game
ZeratoR: Ahhh… but isn’t there a way to— to— a gimmick?
Antoine: No but don’t worry, there’ll probably be a gimmick (laughs) there’ll probably be a gimmick, don’t worry
Baghera: Don’t worry, don’t worry—
Antoine: No, she’s banned from the server! She’s banned from the server, it’s over
ZeratoR: Sucks! How did you die?
Antoine: Nuclear explosion
Baghera: Nuclear— yeah, nuclear explosion
ZeratoR: Ah yeah indeed you’re dead
Etoiles: That should have technically killed everyone—
Antoine: I hadn’t been there for a long time!
Etoiles: Well, I wasn’t there either— oh, well, you (laughs) you—
Antoine: I was elsewhere, I was elsewhere, dude
Etoiles: What a fraud you are (laughs)
ZeratoR: Where were you?
Antoine: I was elsewhere— somewhere else, I can’t say, it’s my lore, dude (laughs)
Etoiles: It’s his lore!
Antoine: I can’t say, dude, it’s my lore, dude
Étoiles: Antoine’s lore—
Baghera: Oh wow, you played around with that? Damn, I didn’t even see
ZeratoR: Basically he was glued to the bomb but well played to him
Etoiles: The lore in question (laughs)
Antoine: The lore in question, dude, it’s mad
Baghera: Take of yourselves guys! This was so cool
[Everyone says goodbye]
[Baghera leaves the call]
ZeratoR: Basically he was glued to the bomb but he found a gimmick
Antoine: Yeahhhh
Etoiles: The lore in question, just being the goat
Antoine: Yeah but the problem is that it’s my lore in every game, dude
Etoiles: (laughs) Oh but it’s really that. Antoine’s lore is being the goat
[Second clip begins]
Etoiles: Something that makes me laugh a bit is the fact that because there’s so many open plotlines it leads to fan theories that are sometimes really fun. There was a moment when my character’s skin, well, it was made for me with white eyes. And well I used it because I found it cool. And, actually, when I put it on, I read 65 tweets from people going, ‘hey, did you know that Etoiles’ character is blind because he actually lost his eyesight because he was—‘
Antoine: But you know on this server, the moment you say any sentence it gets overinterpreted in every way
Etoiles: It’s so funny—
Antoine: What’s wild is that there’s a billion theories on things, and for my part there are people that have understood some stuff about the theory and everything, which I find rather fun
Etoiles: Well it’s— you can’t reproach them because—
Antoine: Oh no precisely, I don’t want to reproach them, on the contrary I find it so cool!
Etoiles: Yeah but it’s funny the extent to which they get in their heads about it— like, you say one sentence on the server and you read a whole text of 65–
Antoine: Yeah, yeah it’s that
Etoiles: It’s really so funny
Angle Droit/Florence: Hmm, he said he was hungry at this given time, it’s surely a coded message
Etoiles: It’s really that!
Antoine: No but really, it’s really that, you know
Etoiles: But you know it’s honestly that, Florence
Antoine: You say a little sentence that’s supposed to be a joke and it’ll be interpreted seriously because ‘there’s this, and this, and that’, you see. But the thing is, it’s often completely wrong, but sometimes it’s correct. So they have every reason to continue theorising, honestly, I find. I think they have every reason to continue theorising, it’s very interesting
Etoiles: You’re just correct the goat, dude
[Third clip begins]
Etoiles: Basically I can say it because it’s out of roleplay and I think Antoine already knows it, because sometimes people are like, ‘yeah you can’t spoil the other streamers!’ but the streamers see everything—
Antoine: I know everything that happens on QSMP
Etoiles: —it’s just that the streamers don’t use the info rp wise. Basically I’m apart of an organisation on the server—
Antoine: What, you’re kidding, dude?!
[The others laugh]
ZeratoR: What the fuck?!
Antoine: I’m not supposed to know that, dude!
Etoiles: Basically I’m apart of an organisation that’s called the Resistance—
Antoine: (scoffs)
Etoiles: —and it’s completely hidden within the server, no one knows about it in the roleplay
ZeratoR: Even I knew about it, so
Etoiles: Yeah, well there you go. And therefore I have a hidden team that allows me to go into buildings, kill Federation agents that take care of the Island, and—
Antoine: But why would you want to kill Federation agents, dude?
Etoiles: Well because they’re not very nice, dude
ZeratoR: (laughs) Oh the lore is incredible. Well, it’s not nice to be mean, but…
Etoiles: The thing that’s funny—
Antoine: They’re not mean…
Etoiles: —is that I see messages from people on Twitter reacting like, ‘well I think it’s insane that Etoiles is killing Federation agents,’ when I don’t want to kill them. I never want to kill them. When I kill them, it’s because I’m forced to. And the last time, I didn’t want to kill them—
Antoine: That’s a really war criminal-esque phrase, that
ZeratoR: Clearly
Etoiles: No but bro, bro, it’s the admins themselves that told me, ‘return to the base, let’s fight,’ that’s what they said, bro, so I was like, ‘well, okay’ (laughs)
Antoine: Well that…
Etoiles: It was fun, honestly. And so when I saw all the messages on Twitter like, ‘Etoiles’ character has totally lost his mind,’ I was like, well—
Antoine: What, you don’t like white teddy bears, dude? Honestly, they’re so cool
Etoiles: Then again, white teddy bears aren’t really nice, dude
Antoine: Dude they are simply what I’d call the goat, honestly. They’re what I call the goat, personally, white teddy bears are called the goat
interesting lore moment with the francophone yesterday (as in, it personally gave me brainworms) ft. qétoiles’ horrible, no good, stupid (lack of) self-preservation . subs in English, transcript below the cut
All spoken in French — translated into English subtitles
[Video transcript:
Etoiles: And, actually, I have a theory. Basically what happened is that I’ve just returned from a mission from Cucurucho.
Antoine: And what was the mission?
Etoiles: To do a dungeon, and to recover something from the dungeon.
Antoine: And what was this “something”?
Etoiles: And the “something” was a book that sorta says that I’m a test subject.
Antoine: A test subject?!
Baghera: What’s up with your arm? You’ve got a coded arm.
Etoiles: Uh, it’s from holding the shield, basically.
Baghera: Ahhh
(Pause)
Antoine: Watch out that it doesn’t contaminate you, or else you’ll turn into a code, man.
Etoiles: That’s impossible, man, I can’t be a code.
Antoine: That’s what the old codes said before becoming codes, you know.
Etoiles: No— well, we’ve never spoken.
Baghera: Maybe you shouldn’t be using the shield as much then, no?
Etoiles: Well, as it stands, I’ve been using it for a really long time, and my mind is still healthy, honestly. And the proof is—
Baghera: Well, half of his face took the brunt of it instead.
Etoiles: Yeah, but it’s not all there is, you know.
(Pause)
Baghera: Let me worry, Etoiles, right now.
Etoiles: You’re right. You’re right! But everything’s going well, I’m doing very, very well—
Antoine: It’s true that you look a bit sick.
Etoiles: Uh, yeah, for the past seven years, it’s a chronic illness, it happened—
Antoine: No, but not this one, the other— you seem even sicker, still.
Etoiles: Yeah, okay. Yeah but no, I’m fine. No, no, it’s fine, honestly.
shoutout to soarinng for kicking off the gay pandas with two gay ass moments right after the other (transcript below)
Kenny: It is love we need
Etoiles: Yeah we need love, too
Soarinng: Okay we follow you, we follow you
Shubble: Oh
Kenny: Helloooo
Soarinng: Hiii
Etoiles: Hellooo
Shubble: Is that our team—?
Etoiles: (laughs) No, it’s not—
Soarinng: (picks daisy)
Kenny: No, it’s not
Soarinng: Okay, Kenny, Kenny
Kenny: It’s me, it’s me
Soarinng: Take, take for you (gives Kenny the daisy)
Kenny: (gasps)
Soarinng: (kisses him on the cheek with a ‘Mwah’ sound)
Kenny: Thank you!
Etoiles: (laughs) Mwah
Mynthos: Ah, c’est de la merde. Je peux plus courir déjà [trans: Ah, this is shitty. I already can’t run anymore]
Etoiles: T’inquiètes, bro, c’est— le début c’est, c’est chiant— [trans: Don’t worry, bro, the beginning is annoying—]
Soarinng: No güey, una cruz, mira [trans: No way, a cross, look]
Etoiles: —et après, dès qu’on va trouver des mobs et tout ça va être beaucoup plus facile [trans: —but after, once we find some mobs and everything it’ll be much easier]
Soarinng: Qué sexi suena hablando de francés [de tipo] [trans: How sexy he sounds speaking French]
Etoiles: (laughs) Sexy francés?
Soarinng: No, no, no— (laughs) me entendió, me entendió [trans: He understood me, he understood me]
