Red Light Green Light Reprieve
The next time he saw Jonghyun, there was unmistakable change. The younger had cut his hair and it was dyed in thick, brown spikes. He had another piercing in his ear.
But more prominently, there were deep, dark circles under his furious eyes.
Jay couldn’t judge him. He could only blame himself for the changes-at least, the ones that were bad. Indeed he’d been wallowing around in his guilt at that very moment, when Jonghyun rang the doorbell. For weeks after that night, Jay ignored Jonghyun’s calls and texts, and battled with calling and texting Jonghyun many times himself-in the end, frustratingly throwing his phone somewhere where he couldn’t see it or turning it off. He’d even pondered getting a new number at one point…which made him feel oddly evil. So he didn’t.
Avoid, avoid, avoid. Jay mastered it. He avoided the places they went together, avoided Jonghyun if it were possible. But lucky for him (?) Jonghyun was never at those places. Jonghyun hadn’t even been crazy enough to show up at his school or his home (until now); Jay could also recall how the incessant calling and texting ceased only days ago.
Yet no matter how much avoiding he did…Jonghyun was always on his mind. He had dangerous, incriminating thoughts about the other that made it hard for him to cuddle or fuck his girlfriend. He couldn’t do much rekindling with her with…the curse of Jonghyun’s touch and kiss embedded in his mind, tormenting him every waking second. He couldn’t do much of anything, if he had to be real.
Their stand-off was brief. Next thing Jay knew, Jonghyun was flying into his arms. His embrace needy and crunching, like Jay was made out of brown paper bags.
“I miss you hyung,” the younger sobbed into his chest. His hands clung to Jay’s shirt from the back.
Jay didn’t hug him back. His arms twitched miserably for a long time. For a long time, he could only stand there with the crying man latched to him. Until he couldn’t take it anymore, and broke down silently; fragilely wrapping his arms around Jonghyun.
“I’m sorry Jjong,” he croaked. “I-I…I didn’t know what the fuck…I just…” Sigh. “I’m sorry…”
Jonghyun pulled away shortly after, wiping his tears away with the back of his coat sleeve. He blankly gazed at Jay for a while before he whopped the shit out of him.
Jay shook with anger as he held his face on the floor. “Yah! What the fuck Jonghyun!” He huffily glared up at the younger seeking a good explanation, or even a look of pity.
Jonghyun grinned down at him smugly, shaking his aching hand out. Liberating stuff, this was.
“Apology accepted. And now we’re even.” He offered his other hand graciously.
Jay took it in stride; well, it was the very least he deserved.
All he could do was grimly smile and allow the rest of his face to swell red.
