#jayvee rambles

[julieverne]

Maybe meeting some queer women tomorrow.

Things to do:

Hydrate

Breathe

Make appropriate amounts of eye contact

Do not mention Rizzoli & Isles

Pet their dogs

Have fun

Remain hydrated

Do not mention Rizzoli and Isles

Pretend to be a normal person

Have all the hinges

Make sure all 7 carabiners on my person are visible

Do not mention Rizzles

Check first aid kit

Do not answer strange cockatoos

Do not call anyone a good bird unless there is a literal bird that likes compliments there

Figure out what I can say I do for work without sounding suspicious

Do not mention that my hobby is writing an obscene amount of Rizzles fanfic

Make sure all my accommodations are in place before I go

Make sure my rescue medication is in date

Find and assemble the grappling hook I built

Four water bottles and electrolytes

Make up a hobby that is normal

Don't panic

Always know where my towel is

Do not, if mentioned, react to anything Rizzles-adjacent

Make friends??????

[jayveesim]

The amount of ads YouTube tries to make you watch should be against the law.

[julieverne]

Not to be a lesbian stereotype, but I'm building a pirate ship.

[julieverne]

My brain: you should flirt

My mouth: do you ever worry about dying alone?

[julieverne]

Not to be a useless lesbian but one time a friend of mine invited herself over and slept in my bed and I still don't know why

[julieverne]

I keep handfuls of printed trinkets in my pockets because I would be absolutely delighted if, mid-conversation, someone absent-mindedly handed me a tiny triceratops and kept talking as though it was of no accord.

[julieverne]

Not me forgetting that heterosexuals exist at the store and staring at them trying to figure out which one is the woman and which one is the other woman.

[julieverne]

Hear me out

Paget Brewster and Sasha Alexander as grandmothers (they both had unsuccessful marriages with men in the past so they have their own kids) in a sitcom like My Life is Murder and their kids are always telling them to retire and in one episode they're up at the cabin and someone tries to murder them and they are not about that and relentlessly mock this poor human until they turn themselves in. And there is a trans handyma'am that shows up on occassion because she's learning how to be a woman from the best role models she knows.

And their kids are kind of like 'she's a bad influence on you' and 'you never got arrested when you were married to dad' and Paget straight-faced says 'I never had an orgasm when I was married to your dad either. And here we are."

And the adult child stops nagging because they know that was just the iceberg's tip.

And there's hot chocolate and bandaids for the skinned kneed grandkids and there are snuggly couch cuddles and little moments of intimacy.

It's called Take Two