TIKKI: Marinette! I felt a negative aura. Adrien’s in danger!
MARINETTE: Wait. I didn’t tell my new friends about the news! They’re probably after Adrien again! No time to lose!
(She takes out the flight magicaroon and feeds it to Tikki.)
MARINETTE: Power up!
(Tikki’s wings and antennae turn blue.)
TIKKI: Space Tikki!
MARINETTE: Spots on!
(She transforms into Cosmo-Bug and flies off. At the mob circle, several of Zeta’s eagle soldiers drop campfire logs. Frank nervously lights a match and sets them on fire.)
LUNA-TK: This will teach you not to betray the people you pretend to care about!
ADRIEN: Wait. I can get Marinette on the line!
(Adrien attempts to call Marinette.)
MARINETTE’S VOICEMAIL: It’s Marinette. Leave a message. Beep! He-he!
(He looks up nervously.)
SAM: Rope them!
MABEL: Cage them!
(The mob closes in.)
ADRIEN: Marinette, I don’t know if you can hear me, but you forgot to tell your new friends about Lila, and they sentenced us to death.
(Flying over Eight at East Apartments, Cosmo-Bug eyes her yo-yo and locates Adrien.)
LADYBUG: Florida Mall parking lot. Hang on, Adrien.
(Meanwhile, the Minions toss a huge net over the group. Standing on the cage, the Trolls wrap their hair, Growly Pete his mustache, around the group’s wrists, ankles, and necks, then the Minions start to drag them backward with the net’s ropes.)
ADRIEN: You need to answer eventually, or we’ll all be destroyed!
(A long way down the highway, Cosmo-Bug flies past the Arepa Station. The humidity starts to make her sweat and run out of breath. Fighting against the restraints, Adrien tries to call Marinette again. The Wolf pups and assist by scratching and snapping at them.)
ADRIEN: Come on.
MARINETTE’S VOICEMAIL: It’s Marinette. Leave a message. Beep! He-he!
ADRIEN: Come on, Marinette. Answer.
(The Minions and Trolls continue to drag the group toward the cage.)
ADRIEN: (STRAINING) I’ll never give in!
(The group shoots forward, tripping the Minions, but it doesn’t last long as they quickly regain control of the ropes.)
ADRIEN: What could you possibly be doing that you can’t pick up right now?
(Cosmo-Bug now huffs and puffs past Orlando International Airport.)
LADYBUG: I… can’t… stop. No… matter… what.
(The group continues trying and failing to resist their restraints.)
(At the back, Tom squeezes Henry the Minion against the rear of the cage. As the Trolls attempt to close it, the door bonks Adrien’s head.)
ADRIEN: Hey, there’s a limit.
(Meanwhile, Cosmo-Bug stops and struggles to catch her breath.)
COSMO-BUG: (DEHYDRATED) Okay. I need to get a water for the road.
(Meanwhile, the caged captives suffer abuse from the Crossover Characters. The Wolf Pups poke at them with spears. The Minions strangle them through the narrow openings. The Royal Woods and Great Lakes City students electrocute them with tasers.)
(Cosmo-Bug stops at a 7-Eleven off the airport highway exit and de-transforms. Now as Marinette, she goes to the fridges in the back and picks out a 20-ounce Aquafina bottle. At the front, she attempts to swipe her card at the pin pad, but it reads, “NOT ACCEPTED”.)
MARINETTE: Come on.
(She tries more times, faster, then slower, but still gets the same result each time.)
MARINETTE: Fine. I’ll pay with cash.
(She passes the cashier five dollars. Later, she leaves and continues flying. Meanwhile, Adrien struggles to make another attempt at escaping, but is yanked backwards by the Minions. The Trolls manage to lower the cage opening, then Terence and Brick hold it closed.)
(Walking over, Luna-TK receives the lucky charm from Branch, who had dug into Adrien’s bag, then walks away.)
ADRIEN: You’re making a mistake.
LUNA-TK: Who’s ready to watch the traitors perish?
(Everyone cheers. Meanwhile, a rehydrated Cosmo-Bug flies over Oceaneering Entertainment Systems. She hears the commotion in the Florida Mall parking lot ahead. In the cage, Adrien watches helplessly as Luna-TK puts her hand over the strengthening campfire.)
ADRIEN: No!
(Cosmo-Bug flies toward the mob and watches Luna-TK drop the charm.)
ADRIEN: No!
(Cosmo-Bug extends her yo-yo and catches the charm just before it falls in. The mob notices her as she lands and storms over to them.)
COSMO-BUG: What are you guys doing?!
LUNA-TK: We were about to burn the traitors’ good luck away and then kill them so that they wouldn’t…
MARINETTE: I wanted them sent back to Paris, not murdered!
(Terence and Brick release the cage. The Minions do the same with the ropes, then lift the cage door open, releasing the travel group.)
MARINETTE: “Lila Rossi’s reign over Paris continues to grow. Ladybug and Cat Noir nowhere to be seen to stop her.” I know they’ve wronged me in plenty of ways, but torture and murder is not the answer. We have to go back to Paris and take the city back.
Based on the Tucker Carlson’s Ship of Fools book cover: https://www.amazon.com/Ship-Fools-Selfish-Bringing-Revolution/dp/1501183664
and this political cartoon: https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&source=images&cd=&ved=2ahUKEwiImZHH29HkAhXqQ98KHfzqDc0QjRx6BAgBEAQ&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D0_nA09_oLE4&psig=AOvVaw3o6AhK8sbQGoVlwP9d5Hto&ust=1568598667971737
(Nothing against Obama, it was just a refference to the other part of the drawing on the bottom left)
Note: This not meant to be a harassment on JD Shadow, Malcolm Ray, and Tamara Chambers, but it doesn’t help when they make themselves look like either the Yes-men enabeling “Word I’m searching for I can’t say, because that would sound too offenssive.” or someone trying to make themselves look like they know what they are talking about, even though they completely miss the point or just don’t callously care about the facts. Despite the last picture I made based on “Facts don’t convince people.”
(In Paris, Bela’s bat minions patrol the streets. Lila oversees the new order from the Eiffel Tower with her main agents.)
LILA: Look at that. Doesn’t the sound of the citizens working tirelessly just tingle the back of your neck?
HUNTSMAN: Oh, yes. Absolutely.
LILA: Smek. What’s going on in Orlando?
SMEK: The Parisians are packing up their suitcases. They are probably intending on heading to the airport to fly back.
LILA: Hmm. Minor bump in the plan, but I can make it work. Bela, let’s send several of your minions to Florida to take care of the travel group.
BELA: Should they escort them back alive so they can see the destruction you’ve caused to their beloved city?
LILA: That’s actually a good idea.
(Meanwhile, strolling through Avalon Park, Marinette gets a news notification on her phone. “Lila Rossi’s reign over Paris continues to grow. Ladybug and Cat Noir nowhere to be seen to stop her.”)
MARINETTE: Tikki. Come take a look.
(Tikki floats up and sees the article.)
TIKKI: You think this might have been Lila’s plan the whole time? Get you out of Paris so she can take it over?
MARINETTE: I might not like what they’ve done, but they don’t deserve this.
(In their villa, the group finishes packing. Adrien gets something he thought he’d never get ever again since the day Marinette left, a call from her.)
ADRIEN: Huh?
(He answers.)
MARINETTE: (ON SPEAKER PHONE) Have you seen the news?
ADRIEN: No. What’s wrong?
MARINETTE: It’s Lila. Look at what she’s done to Paris.
(Alya sees the news article about Lila’s reign.)
ADRIEN: Lila tricked us into leaving so she could take it for herself?
MARINETTE: I’m down in Avalon Park. Let’s meet up there and figure something out.
ADRIEN: Okay.
(They hang up. Adrien faces the others.)
ADRIEN: Alright, guys. It seems like Marinette will actually listen to us now, but let’s not try to convince her to come back with us.
(The group looks at each other, then nod at Adrien. Meanwhile, at Waterford Lakes Town Center, Luna-TK faces Marinette’s new friends and so many Crossover Characters from Municiberg, New Urbem, Royal Woods, Great Lakes City, Scotland, the Boov and Gorg ships, Chicago, Santa Cécilia, Bird Island, Piggy Island, Eagle Island, Pop Village, Bergen Town, Volcano Rock City, Vibe City, Lonesome Flats, Techno Reef, Symphonyville, Hole N’ Fun, Mount Rageous, Vacay Island, TrollsTopia, Chew and Swallow, Gravity Falls, New Berk and the surrounding lands, Monstropolis, the suburbs where Gru resides, Freedonia, Mayflower, Transylvania, Santa Cruz, and Camp Winnepacaca, you’d need to see the “Additional Voices” section in the credits to get the picture.)
LUNA-TK: What is happening? True friends are supposed to be by your side through thick and thin, to the ends of the earth and back. Well, I say if they can’t manage that, they aren’t real friends! The world as we know it is under attack. And who’s leading that attack? Adrien!
(Everyone jumps back in shock.)
LUNA-TK: Are we going to let troublemakers like Adrien make us go on high alert forever?
EVERYONE: No!
LUNA-TK: If Adrien and his group continue forward, the entire city will go on high alert, which will lead to the entire state going on high alert, then the whole country, then the whole world!
LINCOLN: Yeah! The traitors must pay!
DRACULA: It’s their persistence!
BOB: We have to do something!
SULLEY: For the safety of the future!
MIKE: For the safety of everyone!
LUNA-TK: Are we going to let them get away with this?!
EVERYONE: No!
LUNA-TK: Let’s go get them!
(The riled-up mob stampedes down the street and onto the highway.)
(The sun, a vibrant pink, paints the morning sky. Our view dips low, revealing the familiar sight of Panera Bread in Waterford Lakes Town Center. A cab pulls up, its doors opening to reveal Marinette stepping out.)
MARINETTE: Thanks!
CAB DRIVER: No prob, Marinette!
(Marinette walks inside. Her first person view takes in the busy restaurant. Characters from the The Incredibles, The Loud House, Home, Coco, Angry Birds, Trolls, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, Gravity Falls, How to Train Your Dragon, Monsters, Inc., Despicable Me, and Hotel Transylvania franchises eye her as she enters and murmur to each other.)
SULLEY: Guys, look.
SMIDGE: Oh, my gah.
LINCOLN: Is that…?
(Lynn Loud Jr. gasps.)
LUNA: Dudes, it’s her.
(As they continue murmuring, Marinette walks to the cashier, a brown woman with a bowl haircut.)
CROSSOVER CHARACTERS: (WALLA) In the flesh?…I don’t believe it…Crazy…We never get celebrities around here…Is this really happening?
CASHIER: Ah, Miss Marinette Dupain-Cheng, how’s your day?
MARINETTE: Oh, it’s fi-Wait. Since l got here, people have been looking only at me and referring to me by name. What’s going on?
CASHIER: Well, it’s because everyone knows who you are. You star on a French kids’ show, Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir.
MARINETTE: For real? Wow. So I’m guessing you know who Cat Noir is.
CASHIER: Yep. But his secret identity wouldn’t interest you. And I’m guessing Tikki is hanging out in your purse.
MARINETTE: Yep.
TIKKI: You guessed right.
(The others look on as Tikki leaves her bag.)
CASHIER: So, do the traitors bring you to the United States?
MARINETTE: Of course! Has anyone in here had a dream?
LUNA-TK: I once had a dream. I’m Luna-TK. Hey, Luna! Hit me with some music!
LUNA: You got it, dudette!
(Luna Loud strums her guitar. Marinette looks at her, then back at Luna-TK, who sings.)
LUNA-TK: (SINGING) I’ve been told I’m behind on reactions, they wait my overreactions
I try to tell them that I’m taking my time
But despite my overwork, and every time I quirk
I’ve secretly wanted to be a mime
Can’t you see me on the street performing to the public?
It is a way to blow off steam
Yeah, I know I’d have to retire, but my acts are bound to expire
LUNA-TK: Don’t you think?
LUNA-TK: (SINGING) ‘Cause way down deep inside, I’ve got a dream
ALL: She’s got a dream, she’s got a dream
LUNA-TK: Each and every day, I like to daydream
As the rest, I’m not the same, but no one else can take the blame
But like everyone else, I’ve got a dream
MARINETTE: Wow. That’s pretty good.
LUNA-TK: Yeah. But if you think that’s something, then listen to my friend, JD Shadow. Sing it!
JD SHADOW: I’ve been told I’m such a dummy
That I’m as thick as a gummy
And that my mouth looks like an alligator’s
But now the insults are gone, and people seem to fawn
But I think it’s clear that there are still haters
My dream is to decrease the criticism
No, not as much as it may seem
And I am reasonable fellow, I’m soft, and I’m mellow
‘Cause way down deep inside, I’ve got a dream
(A rope strapped to the collar of her top, Lucy Loud swings in circles over the customers.)
JD SHADOW: I’ve got a dream
ALL: He’s got a dream
JD SHADOW: I’ve got a dream
ALL: He’s got a dream
JD SHADOW: Everyone’s mood will very surely gleam
Yes, I might not be very lucky,
And the outcome could be yucky
And every girl will be a queen
But like everyone else, I’ve got a dream
(Bridget grooves with Poppy on her left palm.)
POPPY: The Bergens would like to party with us Trolls
(Chuck runs circles around a table.)
RED: Chuck would like to run a marathon
(Dash does the same with another table.)
BOB: Dash is always on
(Earl flexes.)
FLINT: Officer Earl is full of brawn
(Luan puppets her dummy, Mr. Coconuts. Luna continues strumming. Cloud Guy ripples his arms as he floats by.)
ALL: Luan jokes, Luna rocks
Could Guy wears all the socks
LUNA-TK: And Terence is a bruiser with a soft center
(The hulking bird grins.)
LUNA-TK: So, how about you, Marinette?
MARINETTE: What?
RBNVIDS: What’s your dream?
MARINETTE: Alright. Beat, please?
(As Luna continues playing, Marinette gets onto a table and sings.)
MARINETTE: (SINGING) I’ve got a dream
ALL: She’s got a dream
MARINETTE: I’ve got a dream
ALL: She’s got a dream
MARINETTE: I just want to have some friends outside my dreams
TIKKI: We don’t care if they’re so hairy, we’re just so glad we left Paris
MARINETTE AND TIKKI: Like all you lovely folks, we’ve got a dream
(Lucy drops from the ceiling by a noose beside Marinette.)
ALL: They’ve got a dream, we’ve got a dream
They’ve got a dream, we’ve got a dream
(As the welcoming crew dances, a smile blooms across Marinette’s face.)
ALL: So our differences ain’t really that extreme
We’re one big team
(Marinette gets picked up by Screech and carried across the restaurant.)
SULLEY: Call us brutal!
HICCUP: Sick!
GRU: Sadistic!
LYSS AND SIEBEE: And grotesquely optimistic!
(He drops her at the Loud girls, who toss her upward happily.)
ALL: ‘Cause way down deep inside
We’ve got a dream
(We glimpse several of the Crossover Characters dancing.)
DON: I’ve got a dream
LUAN: I’ve got a dream
VIOLET: I’ve got a dream
EDITH: I’ve got a dream
DENNIS: I’ve got a dream
MARINETTE: I’ve got a dream
ALL: Yes, way down deep inside
I’ve got a dream
(During the last line, Lyss and Siebee hoist Marinette onto an arm throne. She opens her arms, embracing the moment. Tikki floats beside her. Our view captures the magic, circling around Marinette and showcasing her newfound friends in all their glory.)
ALL: Yeah!
(As Lyss and Siebee set Marinette down, the girl takes in her supporters.)
LUNA-TK: You’re welcome to join us.
MARINETTE: Thanks.
(She joins Luna-TK at her table.)
LUNA-TK: So, again, I’m Luna-TK. I’m engaged to a lovely man and I’m also the leader of this group.
LYSS: I’m Lyss.
SIEBEE: And I’m Siebee.
@shadydoorags-blog: Hey, hello, how do you do? I’m Shady Doorags. I’m a big superhero fan. And your show doesn’t exactly get superhero tropes right.
MARINETTE: Oh.
@luminara713: I’m Momo.
BETH: I’m Beth.
MIRANDA: I’m Miranda.
SHARKI: I’m Sharki.
SHADOW: I’m Shadow Tag.
RHILENTLESS: I’m Rhilentless.
GABI: I’m Gabi.
KATHY: I’m Kathy.
JAKE: I’m Jake.
JACK: I’m Jack.
EMI: I’m Emi.
MOMO: We make up The 86th Floor: Cosplay Revolutions.
MIRANDA: So your world isn’t set in the Sims universe? Alright, then.
@calxiyn: Good day, I’m Calxiyn.
ROBYN: What’s up? I’m Robyn.
HARMONY: I’m Hungary Harmony.
SOFIA: I’m Sofia LaVoice.
CAMRYN: I’m Camryn.
YACKACHOO: I’m Yackachoo.
JD: I’m JD Shadow.
BOB: I’m Bob Parr. Like you, I have a superhero identity. Mr. Incredible’s the name, strength is the game.
HELEN: I’m Helen Parr. My moniker is Elastigirl. Stretchiness is what I do.
VIOLET: I’m Violet Parr. I have two powers. I can turn invisible and make force fields.
DASH: I’m Dashiell Parr. Call me Dash. Super speed is my power.
BOB: My youngest son, Jack-Jack Parr, has seventeen powers.
LUCIUS: I’m Lucius Best, also known as Frozone. My specialty? Ice.
E: I’m Edna Mode. You can call me E, darling. I have designed suits for Supers across many years. Do not ask me to design a cape for you, darling.
WINSTON: I’m Winston Deavor. Call me Win. As owner of DEVTech, I have helped bring Supers back into the light and legality.
TONY: I’m Tony Rydinger, Vi’s boyfriend.
KARI: I’m Kari McKeen, her bestie, and a skilled babysitter.
VOYD: I’m Voyd. What I can do is make portals.
(Voyd drops a juice box from her table and drops it in Marinette’s hands with portals.)
MARINETTE: Ooh. Thanks.
MIRAGE: I’m Mirage. Used to work for a selfish evil-doer called Syndrome, I now work with the government and am dating Win.
DICKER: I’m Rick Dicker. Former agent of the Super Relocation Program, which has shut down.
KRUSHAUER: I’m Krushauer. Crusher of metal objects.
HE-LECTRIX: I’m He-lectrix. Zapping electrically is my power.
REFLUX: I’m Reflux. My magma barf, medical condition? Superpower? You decide.
BRICK: I’m Brick. As strong as Mr. Incredible.
SCREECH: I’m Screech. I contain the characteristics of an owl.
LINCOLN: I’m Lincoln Loud. Man with the plan and middle child between ten sisters.
CLYDE: I’m Clyde McBride. Lincoln’s best friend.
LINCOLN: And together, we’re…
LINCOLN AND CLYDE: …Clincoln McCloud.
LORI: I’m Lori Loud. Firstborn of the Loud kids, high school graduate, and freshman at Fairway University.
LENI: I’m Leni Loud. O-M-gosh, I am so into fashion.
LUNA: I’m Luna Loud. I’m a rockstar, dude.
LUAN: I’m Luan Loud, the family comedian. Say, Mr. Coconuts, how many cockroaches does it take to screw in a lightbulb? (AS MR. COCONUTS) “Who knows, toots? When the light comes on, they scatter.” (LAUGHS) Get it?
LYNN: I’m Lynn Loud Jr., name a sport, I play it. From football, to lacrosse, to ice hockey, to baseball, to basketball, to roller derby.
LUCY: I’m Lucy Loud.
(Marinette jumps.)
MARINETTE: Ah! Jeez.
LUCY: I know. That happens all the time. I like poetry and anything spooky, and I’m the president of the Royal Woods Elementary School Morticians Club.
LANA: I’m Lana Loud.
LOLA: And I’m Lola Loud.
LANA AND LOLA: (IN UNISON) We’re twins. Can you tell?
LANA: I’m a grease monkey, and love getting dirty.
LOLA: I’m a pageant princess. Over ten sashes in my inventory.
LISA: I’m Lisa Loud. I spend my days conducting empirical procedures arbitrating competing models or hypotheses, street name, scientific experiments, in my room.
LILY: Lily Loud. Lily just started preschool.
LYNN SR.: I’m Lynn Loud Sr., father to these wild kiddos, and I own a restaurant. Stop by Lynn’s Table sometime.
RITA: I’m his wife, Rita Loud. I’m a writer.
HOWARD: I’m Howard McBride. He’s my husband, Harold.
HAROLD: We’re Clyde’s dads.
MR. GROUSE: I’m Bud Grouse, the Louds’ next-door neighbor. If you want to appease me, I take lasagna.
RONNIE ANNE: I’m Ronnie Anne Santiago. I used to pick on Lincoln when I lived in Royal Woods. My family moved to Great Lakes City.
SID: And she met me, Sid Chang.
BOBBY: I’m Bobby Santiago. Just like my abuelo, I hope to run a mercado.
ROSA: I’m Rosa Casagrande, the matriarch of the house, and family cook.
HECTOR: I’m Hector Casagrande, owner of the family bodega.
ROSA: And a gossiper.
HECTOR: I do not gossip, cariña.
MARIA: I’m Maria Casagrande-Santiago. I work a tiring job as a nurse.
ARTURO: I’m Arturo Santiago, a veterinarian.
CARLOS: I’m Carlos Casagrande, the brains of the family, and a college professor.
(A camera flash startles Marinette.)
MARINETTE: Ow.
FRIDA: I’m his wife, Frida Puga Casagrande.
MARINETTE: The family photographer?
FRIDA: Sí. (TEARING UP) You guessed right.
CARLOTA: I’m Carlota Casagrande. Also a fashionista.
CJ: I’m Carlos Jr. Casagrande. You can call me CJ. Any traitors that cross you will walk the plank!
CARL: I’m Carlino Casagrande. I get the ladies to come for me.
CARLOTA: In his self-proclaimed stud dreams.
FRIDA: This is Carlitos Casagrande. (COOING) Who’s a little copycat? Who’s a cute little copycat? Is it you? Yes, you are.
TIP: I’m Gratuity Tucci. You can call me Tip. I was the only escapee when an alien species called the Boov invaded.
OH: But then she did the meeting of me, Captain Oh, and everything did the changing.
MARINETTE: Oh?
OH: That comes from the way other Boovs did the responding to my presence.
LUCY: I’m Lucy Tucci, Tip’s mom.
KYLE: I am Officer Kyle.
MIGUEL: I’m Miguel Rivera. Back when my family thought music was a curse, I was sent to the Land of the Dead on Día de los Muertos, and figured out the truth as to why they had that thought. Held hard by my abuelita Elena.
ABUELITA ELENA: With my chancla to keep things in check.
MIGUEL: And my family of shoemakers. Mi papá…
ENRIQUE: Enrique.
MIGUEL: …mi mamá…
LUISA: Luisa.
MIGUEL: …Tío Berto…
BERTO: Buenos dias.
MIGUEL: …Tía Carmen…
CARMEN: Hola.
MIGUEL: …Tía Gloria…
GLORIA: Hey.
MIGUEL: …mi abuelito Franco.
FRANCO: Hola.
MIGUEL: …mis primos, Abel,…
ABEL: Hola, señorita.
MIGUEL: …Rosa,…
ROSA: Nice to meet you.
MIGUEL: …Benny, and Manny, and my little sister, Socorro, named after my great-grandmother, Mamá Coco.
RED: Hello. My name’s Red. I was an outcast as an adult for my anger issues, which stemmed from being bullied as a kid for my eyebrows. It took Bird Island’s eggs being stolen for me to step up as their leader. But now, we’ve called a truce between birds, pigs, and eagles, and we’re all heroes of all three islands.
CHUCK: I’m Chuck. I can move faster than the speed of sound.
BOMB: I’m Bomb. When I get upset, I’ve been known to blow up. Literally, hence the name. (IMITATES HISSING AND EXPLOSION)
LEONARD: I’m Leonard Mudbeard, the king of Piggy Island.
SILVER: I’m Chuck’s sister, Silver. While he moves fast, I think fast. I can think of every calculation at a moment’s notice.
GARRY: I’m Garry, the pigs’ master of gadgetry. Not all of my inventions are perfect…
RED: Like the Invisi-Spray? Or the Eagle Detector? “There’s an eagle nearby! There’s an eagle nearby!”
MIGHTY EAGLE: Behold! Gaze upon… Mighty Eagle! I see all and know all.
MATILDA: I’m Matilda. I was the teacher of the Infinity Acceptance Group. And this is my husband, Terence.
(Terence grins down at Marinette.)
MARINETTE: Wow. You’re a lucky lady to have hit the jackpot with this guy.
THE BLUES: We’re the Blues.
JAY: I’m Jay.
JAKE: I’m Jake.
JIM: And I’m Jim.
ZETA: I’m Zeta, the leader of the eagles. I admit, I went crazy after Ethan left me at the altar, and tried to destroy the neighboring islands to make my own tropical paradise, since Eagle Island is basically a giant iceberg.
DEBBIE: I’m their daughter, Debbie.
GLENN: I’m Zeta’s head engineer, Glenn.
ROSS: I’m Ross. I used to be Leonard’s assistant.
(The mime bird performs around Marinette.)
RED: Yeah, he likes all of this.
STELLA: I’m Stella. I’m Bird Island’s main tour guide.
BUBBLES: I’m Bubbles. Need a lift?
(Bubbles inflates a bit.)
HAL: I’m Hal. I’m really good at doing the boomerang.
ZOE: I’m Matilda’s daughter, Zoe. These are my best friends.
VIVI: I’m Vivi.
SAM-SAM: And I’m Sam-Sam.
(Poppy leaps into Marinette’s hand.)
POPPY: Hi. I’m Poppy, the queen of Pop Village.
BRANCH: I’m Branch. I’m not like the other Pop Trolls. When I was a kid, I got my grandmother killed by singing and attracting a predator, and spent twenty years not wanting anything to do with fun.
BIGGIE: I’m Biggie. I’m a big softie, aren’t I, Mr. Dinkles?
MR. DINKLES: Mew.
COOPER: I’m Prince Cooper of Vibe City.
GUY DIAMOND: I’m Guy Diamond.
(Marinette shields her eyes.)
MARINETTE: Oh, you are naked!
GUY DIAMOND: Yeah, Glitter Trolls aren’t (AUTO-TUNED) fond of clothes.
TINY DIAMOND: Yo, what’s up? I’m his son, Tiny Diamond.
SMIDGE: I’m Smidge. I’m the smallest troll in Pop Village, but I’m also the toughest, and the strongest!
SATIN: I’m Satin.
CHENILLE: And I’m Chenille.
SATIN: We…
CHENILLE: Love…
SATIN AND CHENILLE: …fashion!
DJ: I’m DJ Suki. You can count on me to get a good party going.
BRIDGET: I’m Bridget. Queen of Bergen Town alongside my husband…
GRISTLE: King Gristle Jr.
VIVA: I’m Poppy’s sister, Viva.
PEPPY: I’m Poppy’s father, the retired king of Pop Village, Peppy.
JOHN DORY: We’re Branch’s brothers, Brozone. I’m John Dory.
CLAY: I’m Clay.
FLOYD: I’m Floyd.
SPRUCE: And I’m Spruce.
BARB: Hey. I’m Queen Barb of the Hard Rock Trolls.
PRINCE D: I’m Cooper’s brother, Prince Darnell.
KING QUINCY: I’m King Quincy.
QUEEN ESSENCE: And I’m Queen Essence.
HICKORY: Guten Tag. I am Hickory, a Yodeler Troll.
DICKORY: Und I am Dickory.
CREEK: I’m Creek. I always hate admitting this, but I regret selling out my friends to the Bergens.
RIFF: I’m Barb’s band drummer, Riff.
DELTA: I’m Delta Dawn, leader of the Country Trolls.
KING TROLLEX: I’m King Trollex of the Techno Trolls.
TROLLZART: I am Trollzart, conductor of the Classical Music Trolls.
ARCHER: I’m Archer Pastry. I left behind my gangster brother and his crew, the Party Crashers.
CLOUD GUY: Hey. How’s it going? I’m Cloud Guy. Up high?
(As Marinette goes to slap his hand with her finger, he pulls it back.)
CLOUD GUY: Whoop! Too slow!
VAL: I’m Val Thundershock, the Ambassador of the Rock Tribe.
DEMO: I’m Demo, the manager of Val’s band.
HOLLY: I’m Holly Darlin’, the Ambassador of the Country Tribe.
DANTE: I’m Dante Crescendo, the Ambassador of the Classical Tribe.
LOWNOTE JONES: I’m Lownote Jones, the Ambassador of the Funk Tribe.
SYNTH: I’m Synth, the Ambassador of the Techno Tribe.
LEGSLY: I’m Legsly. I can’t extend my hair, but I can extend my legs.
THRASH: (MUMBLING) So our differences ain’t really that extreme
BARB: Oh, that’s my dad, the retired king of the Rock Trolls, Thrash.
FLINT: I’m Flint Lockwood. I’ve been an inventor since I was a kid. One of my first were my Spray-on Shoes. Unfortunately, they don’t come off.
SAM: I’m Sam Sparks. Chew and Swallow’s newscaster.
TIM: I’m Tim Lockwood. Flint’s father and owner of Tim’s Bait and Tackle.
EARL: I’m Earl Devereaux. Chew and Swallow’s local policeman. No one better think of startin’ trouble.
BRENT: I’m Brent McHale. I used to be Swallow Falls’ mascot for sardines called Baby Brent. Chicken Brent is my new moniker. Ba-gawk-oh!
MANNY: I am Manny. Part-time doctor, part-time comedian, part-time cameraman.
FLINT: This is my best friend and trusted colleague.
STEVE: Steve!
MARINETTE: A Thought Translator?
STEVE: Steve!
BARB: I’m Barb. I’m an orangutan with a human brain within my ape brain. Like a turducken.
DIPPER: I’m Dipper Pines. I spent the summer of 2012 discovering the mysteries of Gravity Falls, Oregon.
MABEL: And thanks to the heroics of me and my family, we saved the town! I’m his twin sister, Mabel Pines.
STAN: I’m Stanley Pines. Ex-conman and retired owner of the Mystery Shack. These days, I’m traveling the world with my brother.
FORD: Stanford Pines. I spent 30 years trapped in a portal between dimensions. I also wrote three journals that I threw down a bottomless pit.
SOOS: I’m Soos Ramirez, the Mystery Shack’s handy mechanic, and new Mr. Mystery.
WENDY: I’m Wendy Corduroy. I was the Mystery Shack’s clerk, but still undeniably a fun time.
McGUCKET: I’m Fiddleford McGucket. Old, I may be, but Ford and I go way back.
GRENDA: We’re Mabel’s best friends. I’m Grenda Grendinator.
CANDY: And I’m Candy Chiu.
ROBBIE: I’m Robbie Valentino. Lead guitarist of Robbie V and the Tombstones.
PACIFICA: I’m Pacifica Northwest. My family used to be rich, until my father gave it all away to that Bill guy.
GIDEON: I’m Gideon Gleeful. I had a steady reputation despite my not-so pleasant actions.
MELODY: I’m Soos’ girlfriend, Melody, the Mystery Shack’s new clerk.
HICCUP: I’m Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III. The first viking in 300 years to not kill a dragon, and the chief of New Berk after the unfortunate death of my father, Stoick the Vast.
ASTRID: I’m his wife, Astrid Haddock, the chieftess of New Berk. These are our kids.
ZEPHYR: I’m Zephyr.
NUFFINK: And I’m Nuffink.
FISHLEGS: I’m Fishlegs Ingerman. Name any dragon, I have their statistics.
SNOTLOUT: I’m Snotlout Jorgensen. I admit, I might be a bit much.
TUFFNUT: I’m Tuffnut Thorston.
RUFFNUT: And I’m Ruffnut Thorston.
TUFFNUT: My sister and I love getting into trouble.
VALKA: I’m Hiccup’s mother, Valka. I lived on my own for years.
GOBBER: I’m Gobber the Belch. I was Stoick’s right-hand man.
ERET: I’m Eret. I was part of Drago Bludvist’s dragon-capturing crew before I defected.
SULLEY: I’m James P. Sullivan. My friends call me Sulley. I’m the CEO of Monsters, Incorporated. It’s a company that used to be all about sneaking into human children’s rooms through their closet doors and scaring them into screaming to power our world.
MIKE: But recently, we’ve realized that human laughter is ten times more powerful than their screams. I’m Mike Wazowski, the best Jokester at the company.
SULLEY: This is Boo, a human girl we met during the power crisis.
CELIA: I’m Celia Mae, the company receptionist.
MIKE: I’m her Googly-Bear.
CELIA: Yes, he is.
(Celia dips Mike and smooches him. Her snakes keep kissing him.)
YETI: I’m the Adorable Snowman. Why do people call me the Abominable Snowman? Do I look abominable to you?
(He offers a tray of snow cones.)
YETI: Snow cone?
(Marinette eyes the yellow tops.)
MARINETTE: Uh…
YETI: Oh, no, don’t worry. It’s lemon.
MIKE: And these were our Oozma Kappa fraternity brothers back in Monsters University.
SQUISHY: I’m Scott Squibbles. My friends call me Squishy.
DON: I’m Don Carlton. Mature student. I spent 30 years in the textile industry, and then got downsized. I figured I could either throw myself a pity party, or go back to school and learn the computers.
TERRY: We’re Terry and Terri Perry. I’m Terry with a Y.
TERRI: And I’m Terri with an I. I’m a dance major.
TERRY: And I’m not.
ART: I’m Art. New age philosophy major.
TYLOR: I’m Tylor Tuskman. I graduated from Monsters University to work for Monsters, Inc. as a Scarer, only to end up working in the Monsters, Inc. Facilities Team, or “MIFT”, when I joined the company the day they transitioned from scream to laugh power.
VAL: I’m Val Little. I was Tylor’s one-time classmate from MU.
FRITZ: I’m Fritz, the leader of MIFT.
CUTTER: I’m Katherine Sterns. You can call me Cutter. I keep remnants of each MIFT member who died on the job.
DUNCAN: I’m Duncan, the assistant supervisor of MIFT.
GRU: I’m Felonious Gru. I used to a bad guy, and now I work as a secret agent for the Anti-Villain League.
DRU: I’m his twin brother, Dru Gru.
LUCY: I’m Agent Gru’s partner and wife, Lucy Wilde.
MARGO: We’re Gru’s adopted girls. I’m Margo.
EDITH: I’m Edith.
AGNES: I’m Agnes.
GRU: And our son, Gru Jr.
POPPY: I’m Poppy Prescott, student at Lycée Pas Bon to become a supervillain.
DR. NEFARIO: I’m Gru’s friend and scientist, Dr. Nefario.
GRU: And there’s hundreds more where they came from.
DRACULA: I am…
MARINETTE: Count Dracula? The blood-sucking vampire?
DRACULA: So you’ve heard. I’m the retired owner of Hotel Transylvania. It used to be off-limits to humans and a place for monsters to get away from it all. And, no, I don’t drink human blood. It’s so fatty, and you never know where it’s been. I use a blood substitute. Either Near Blood or Blood Beaters. You can’t tell the difference.
JOHNNY: I’m Drac’s son-in-law, Jonathan Loughran, the new co-owner of the hotel.
MAVIS: Alongside me, Drac’s daughter, Mavis.
MARINETTE: And you’re Frankenstein’s monster? Fire bad?
FRANK: Yep. Not to mention, I’m quite the big eater.
MARINETTE: And you must be his bride.
EUNICE: My name’s Eunice.
WAYNE: I’m Wayne Werewolf, she’s my wife, Wanda.
WANDA: Our kids drive us nuts.
GRIFFIN: Hey, I’m Griffin.
MARINETTE: Ah!
GRIFFIN: Oh, sorry. I really need to start that throat clearing thing.
MARINETTE: The Invisible Man?
GRIFFIN: Uh-huh.
MURRAY: I’m Murray, and I bring the party anywhere!
DENNIS: I’m Papa Drac’s grandson, Dennis. I got my vampire fangs straight on my fifth birthday.
VLAD: I’m Drac’s father, Vlad.
ERICKA: And I’m Drac’s wife, Ericka.
VAN HELSING: I’m a retired monster hunter, and Ericka’s great-grandfather, Abraham Van Helsing.
MARINETTE: One of The Van Helsings?
VAN HELSING: Yes. I didn’t want to let the legacy die, and my searches lasted beyond my lifespan, so I replaced my failing organs with technology. I say, I am still quite a looker.
ERICKA: Um, sure.
CRYSTAL: I’m Griffin’s girlfriend, Crystal the Invisible Woman.
WINNIE: I’m Winnie Werewolf, the only obedient offspring to the Werewolves. Right, my Zing?
DENNIS: Yeesh.
DRACULA: And these are the Blobbies. He’s Blobby, that’s Blobby’s son, and this is their puppy.
MARINETTE: Well, I’m glad to call all of you my new friends.
LUNA-TK: We’re honored.
——
Trivia
The restaurant where Marinette was going to meet the gang was originally T.G.I. Friday’s in the same shopping plaza, but I realized the amount of characters Marinette was going to meet weren’t going to fit in one area of the restaurant, so when thinking of a smaller restaurant, Panera Bread came to mind first, and I went with that. Miller’s Ale House also came to mind, but I ran into the same problem as Friday’s. California Pizza Kitchen also could have possibly worked, it’s just that that restaurant is one big room that’s also curved, so Panera it is.
