conversation
aaron hotchner x nanny!reader (that's not really important, it's only metioned like once but that's what I imagined as I wrote it)
words- 3,062
Y/N and Aaron have been doing the whole will they wont they for months. Y/N is hesitant to start something with her “boss,” and Aaron is worried about how Jack will feel (even though he loves Y/N). But when Aaron finds out Y/N is going on a date, he has to decide if he can let her go or finally let himself have what they’ve both wanted for a long time.
author's note - I lowkey hate this fic, it took me so long to come up with something I actually liked. The ending is slighly rush, but I just wanted to be done, my bad :( . I also try to be very good about typos, but I'm not re-reading this for what feels like the 1,000th time, so plz disregard one if you find one :) . Anyway, after all that complaining plz enjoy!!
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When you started nannying for Aaron, you never expected to fall for him. It was just a job like any other. But soon after taking the position and getting to know Jack and Aaron, you knew you were screwed. They made it really hard not to love them. You love them, and they love you, and you’d be fine with just knowing them and being allowed in their life, crush be damned. But that was before, before that night that now makes it painful to even look at Aaron. The night you found out your crush wasn't as unrequited as you thought. A month ago, long after Jack was in bed, you and he were sitting in the living room (wine might have been involved), the alcohol was flowing through both of you, and tongues were a little too loose.
(that night)
“You’re beautiful,” Aaron had said out of nowhere. There had been a lull in conversation, the two of you just sitting in silence, when he blurted it out. Two words that turned you and your inside upside down. You had been harboring this unrequited crush for months, and then he goes and says that. Like it's the most normal thing.
“Aaron,” You say, sitting up, suddenly feeling sober
“You can't say things like that.”
“Why not? It’s the truth. I think you're the most beautiful person I've ever seen. And I’m tired of pretending I don’t think so.” He’s now sitting up, looking right at you, not letting you look away.
“Aaron, don't say things like that when we both know you're not going to do anything about it. Especially when you know how I feel, I know you do. Youre a freaking profiler for goodness sake. It’s mean.”
“How do you know I'm not going to do anything?”
“Because, Aaron, I know you and I know what we can be scares you just as much as it scares me.” You are looking at each other, sadness filling both your eyes.
“I think… I think it’s time we went to bed. I don't think either of us is ready to have this conversation.” You give him one last look as you start to walk to your room, leaving him in the living room all alone.
The next day, you wake up to a note on the counter and no Aaron to be seen.
Y/N, Got called on a case, be back soon. We’ll talk about last night when I get back. I will do something about it, even if I'm scared.
He came home a week later, and neither of you had brought up that night, both just skirting around the subject and each other. Only talking when it's about Jack, or awkward small talk. But that's about to change.
There are only three people in this world you can't say no to, and one of them happens to be Penelope Garcia, which is how you get roped into this whole blind date situation in the first place. She thinks if Aaron sees you going on a date, “moving on,” he’ll finally have the courage to do something. Which leads you here, using up one of the rare nights you're “off” and Aaron is home, to go on a date you don't remotely want to go on, that's not going to go anywhere. A knock on your bedroom door startles you out of your thoughts.
“Come in.”
“Hey, we’re gonna…” Aaron says as he opens your door, but stops when he meets your eyes from the doorway
“Oh, are you going somewhere?” He's looking at you with a questioning expression
“Oh, yeah. Um, Pen got it in her head I need to get out more, so now I've been roped into a blind date.” You say it with a smile on your face, trying not to show too much emotion. You see almost what looks like shock flash on his face from the reflection in your mirror; probably because you haven't been on a date in months, and the man in front of you is the sole reason you haven't. You just end up comparing them to Aaron and sit there wishing you were back home with him and Jack, which you know is how this date is going to go, especially after what happened.
“Penelope loves to stick her nose into others life” He moves further into your room. Going to sit on the edge of your bed.
“Yeah,” Is all you say, watching him in your mirror, messing with your makeup, trying to make yourself busy.
“Where is he taking you? Hopefully somewhere nice.” His voice has a weird tone to it.
“We’re going to a new restaurant downtown. I think it's called Brimstone or something, Pen picked it out.”
“Who’s the guy?” He rushes out, almost like he was trying to keep himself from asking it. You turn around on your stool to look at him.
“His name is Ryan. I think he went to school with Pen or something, I'm not entirely sure. Like I said its a blind date, was given his name and what time to be there.”
“So you know nothing about him? Do you know how dangerous that is?”
“Pen wouldn't let me go out with someone she thought was dangerous, you know that,” You say as you stand, starting to pack your bag and put on your coat. You feel his eyes raking over your form before he dares to say, “Are you wearing that? Don't you think it's a little much?” As soon as he says it, a regretful expression crosses his face
“Did you seriously just say that? Aaron, it's not up to you, nor do you have a say in what I wear.”
“I’m sorry, I know. I don't know what I'm saying, you look great, truly. Beautiful”
“Aaron,” you sigh
“Y/N,” He challenges, standing from his spot and walking closer to you
“I’m gonna be late.” You rush out, grabbing your purse, as you go to leave the room. His being so close was disorienting, overwhelming. As you walk into the living room, Jack comes barreling up to you.
“You look pretty,” He says, looking up at you with awe.
“Aw, thank you, buddy. Thats very nice.”
“Where are you going? Daddy said we are gonna order pizza and have a movie night. I thought you were going to join us.”
“I’m sorry, buddy, I am meeting a uh.. friend for dinner. But I should be back before bedtime. When I get back, you can tell me all about the movie you and dad pick out.” You tell him, kneeling to be at eye level.
“Promise?”
“Promise,” You hold out your pinky for Jack to curl his around.
Jack gives you a quick hug before running off back to his toys. You stand, walking to the front door, Aaron in tow. When you reach the door, you turn around to Aaron, who is just standing there staring at you.
“I will be back in a couple of hours,” You tell him as you search for your car keys in the bowl by the door. When you finally find them, you go to open the door, but before you can, Aaron starts talking again.
“Don’t go. Don't go, stay here with Jack and me. We’ll get pizza, and watch our movie, and when Jack goes to bed, we can talk, finally, truly talk. Please,” He pleads. You turn to him, and the look on his face almost breaks you. His face is riddled with hurt, and hope, hope you’ll say yes.
“Aaron, please,”
“No, Y/N, if I let you walk out that door and this date leads to something else i’ll never forgive myself. I know it’s not fair for me to ask you to stay, that I’m the one who said we’d talk, and I never had the balls to. But I’m doing it now. Standing here asking you to stay and talk.” You stand there speechless, not knowing how to respond. He’s finally saying everything you want to hear, but at the most unfortunate time. You don't even want to go on this date; you should be saying yes, no question. Of course, Penelope was right. A part of you wants to be petty, go on the date, make him suffer a little, but the other part of you wants you stay here with your boys and have that dreaded conversation.
“Okay, I’ll stay.” You truly should have made him suffer longer, but that was also causing you to suffer, and you were tired of both of you skirting around the conversation.
“Okay, Thank You. I won't make you regret it, promise,” he says, holding out his pinky just like you had done to Jack
“You know you can't break pinky promises, right?”
“Wouldn't dream of it.” He says with a big smile on his face.
“Let me go get changed, and I’ll meet you both in the living room. I also have to break the news to Pen that I'm calling off the date she planned.” You tell him as you set your keys back where you found them and take your coat off.
“I don’t think Penelope will be too sad. She’s been telling me for months to grow some balls and tell you how I feel. Thats a direct quote, not the best thing you want to hear from your subordinate.”
“There's no stopping Penelope Garcia, ever.” You both laugh before you hear two little feet running towards you.
“DAD, I’m STARVING,” Jack says as he rounds the corner into the foyer
“Oh, Y/N, I thought you were leaving?,” He asks once he notices that you're still there.
“Yeah, my friend cancelled, so I'm gonna stay.” You give Aaron a cheeky grin as you say the lie.
“YAYY, We should watch Captain America, you love Captain America.”
“I do love Captain America. Thats a great idea. Why don’t you and Dad go order the pizza and queue up the movie, and I'll be in there in just a few minutes after I change.” He's gone in a second, yelling about how he wants cheese pizza. You turn back to Aaron, who is just watching you.
“You'd better go get his pizza ordered before he starves to death.”
“Yeah, and you’d better go get changed.”
“It looks like no ones gonna see this outfit anyway.”
“Good, my eyes only,” He says, a possessive glint in his eye
“We haven't even talked. You can't really say that, a bit premature dont you think?” You smirk at him. Next thing you know, he’s bending down to whisper something in your ear that makes you slightly weak in the knees.
“Nope, you’ve been mine for quite a while, just like I've been yours. No talk needs to be had for me to know that.”
“You should go change, someones impatient, and it's not just Jack.”
“Okay,” You say shyly, not sure how to respond. As you finally make your way back to your room, you shoot Pen a quick text.
You - dates off
Pen - YESS, THE PLAN WORKED
You - yes, yes, gloat all you want. tho nothing has happened, yes, some things were said, and a plan has been made to talk after Jack goes to bed
Pen - YAY, I can’t wait for the wedding
You - we haven't even kissed, a wedding, if one were to happen, it’s YEARS in the future
Pen - yeah, yeah. I’ll text Ryan, go get your man
You - 🙄
Ten minutes later, you walk into the living room to see Jack and Aaron sitting on the couch, pizza already open and ready to be eaten on the coffee table
“That was fast,” You said, gesturing to the pizza as you took your spot on the couch
“Couldn’t leave Jack starving for much longer,” Aaron replies with a cheeky smile that gives you butterflies. He hands you your pizza after he gets Jack situated on the floor, where he's using the coffee table to eat. After everyone is situated with their pizza, Aaron turns on the movie. You do your best to pay attention to the movie you've seen many times before, but you can't, not even Chris Evans abs could make you focus on anything other than the man at your side. The man who is sitting a little closer to you than you thought, your thighs touching as the movie goes on, but halfway through, Jack wedges his way in between to cuddle up to both of you. Which leads to him falling asleep shortly after, happy and stuffed with pizza. You’re staring off into space when you feel something shift beside you. When you look to see what's moving, worried it will disturb Jack, and see Aaron standing and pausing the tv.
“I’m gonna carry him to bed. When I get back, we’ll talk?” He phrases it like a question, waiting for your approval, making sure you're still okay. You respond with a quick okay before he grabs Jack and heads down the hall to his room. While he’s gone, you start cleaning up, trying to busy yourself. Your cleanup attempt is interrupted when he walks back in, catching you red-handed.
“That can wait till later,” He comes up behind you, taking the trash from your hand and placing it back where you found it. He grabs your hand and pulls you back to sit on the couch. You knew this conversation was happening; you wanted this to happen for so long, and it made you anxious. Knowing you were about to crack open a part of yourself. He started to talk once he got both settled on the couch, still holding your hand.
“I think I'm gonna start, explain why I never brought it up all those weeks ago. If that's okay.”
“Okay,” You give him a smile
“First, I want to say how sorry I am for avoiding this conversation. I had a plan, I was going to come home, and we’d talk, then I’d take you on a proper date; it was going to be perfect. Flowers and candlelight,” He gives you a bashful smile before continuing, “ But, as Penelope would say, I chickened out, I let my anxieties get the best of me. I’ve been concealing these feelings for so long, and the fact that my slightly tipsy self revealed them had me feeling embarrassed. I was also nervous about how hard I had already fallen and not knowing what would happen. Scared that if this doesn't work, we won't just be hurting ourselves, but that Jack could get hurt again. Then tonight I saw you in that dress, getting ready for another man, and something broke in me. The part that had been holding me back from allowing myself to want you. A jealous, green monster.” The chuckle you let out interrupts him.
“Sorry, it's not funny, continue.” He smiles before shaking his head and continuing
“As I said, a deep jealousy started bubbling up to the surface. I knew I needed to stop you from leaving, or I could live to regret it for the rest of my life, knowing that you were with someone else, an I did nothing to prevent it,” He pauses, taking a breath, almost like he’s hyping himself up “I love you, I think I have for a long time, probably since the very begiingin if im being honest with myself. I love how you love Jack and your connection with him. I love that you can read me even when no one else can. I love way more things about you, but I think if I sit here and list them all, we will be here till sunrise.” He finishes looking at you, really looking, which is when he notices you crying.
“Oh, sweetheart, don't cry.” He scoots closer, grabbing your cheeks, gently wiping away your tears
“I'm okay, promise. It's just, I love you too, so much. I think I've also loved you for a long time. You and Jack are my favorite people, and I can’t nor do I ever want to live without you. That’s what scared me most about telling you how I felt. I’d rather live hiding how I felt than telling you and risking losing you both. I thought that if you didn’t want to talk about it, then that was it; I didn't bring it up myself out of fear, fear that you regretted what you said. Then Pen came up with this stupid plan to make you jealous…” as soon as the words come out of your mouth, you’re clamping it shut.
“I’m sorry, what about Penelope?” Aaron looks at you with a shocked expression, even though you can tell he’s fighting a smile
“Nothing, it's nothing you need to worry about. Let’s go back to telling the other how much we love eachother” You say, trying to distract him.
“No, no. I think I want to talk about this very much.” He pulls you into his lap, making you squeal
“I never should have introduced the two of you; you’re trouble.” He has the biggest smile on his face. The two of you sit there together just smiling at each other. Aaron’s the first to give in, you see his eyes flash down to your lips just for a second before he leans in, kissing you, finally. You instantly melt into him, having wanted this for so long. You don’t stop till the need for air is too much, pulling apart.
“You’ve turned me back into a clumsy teenager.”
“I’m keeping you young.”
“Did you just call me old?” He says, pinching your sides, making you squirm in his lap
“Yeah, but you're my old guy,” You say, kissing him again, and again. You get to kiss him for the rest of your lives. You can’t wait.