Honesty (BadBoyHalo x Male Reader)
Title: Honesty
Pairing: BadBoyHalo x Male Reader
Requested by: CinnamonRolesSimp on Wattpad
Scenario: Bad experiences jealousy and after getting to a certain point, you ask what is going on.
---
He knew it wasn't fair to feel the way he did. He shouldn't get uncomfortable by who his boyfriend talks to or how he talks to them. It's natural to have some jealousy but it still didn't seem right to him.
"The best thing for our relationship is honesty" (Y/N) said.
"Yes, I know that. But you know somethings are difficult to talk about. I don't want to seem possessive"
(Y/N) laughed and smiled.
"You will if you keep it to yourself. I don't want you to feel discomfort. Opening up about it will help you feel more comfortable"
Darryl continued to fold the paper, thinking about what (Y/N) had said. Of course it would help but that didn't make it easy. There was always that fear of judgement and he didn't want to suddenly come off as a possessive and toxic partner. That's far from what he is and what he wants to be.
"I suppose it has to do with never really being in a relationship before. All I've been exposed to is the unrealistic expectations from the media"
His partner rolled his eyes. Darryl understood why. His whole career was media based and to an extent, he contributed to many things he wished he didn't. Sometimes there is not a lot of honesty when it comes to being a content creator. For years he's hid behind a pixel avatar as he didn't want the world to see him as he was.
Darryl wasn't exactly the most attractive person in the world. He wasn't the perfect, mentally stable role model people expect him to be. He's seen how Twitter treats those who try to talk about their insecurities. While he has a loyal fanbase who would be supportive, those who chose to attack him seem to always stand out.
They were surrounded by origami paper. Some were already folded into beautiful designs and others were discarded after either ripping or not being folded right. This was an activity Darryl and (Y/N) liked to do on days neither of them had to work.
With their favorite music playing through a Bluetooth speaker, it was a calming activity. A way to get rid of any stress. Somehow, there was something about this session that didn't seem relaxing to (Y/N) but he didn't want to pressure Darryl. It was important they share things but some things can stay to themselves.
After a good long hour of origami and a few short Spotify playlists, they prepared themselves for an event they had agreed to attend. It wasn't meant to be anything big and Darryl was sure he was going to be the only content creator this. This made him feel better about the event.
Originally, he didn't want to go at all. He has been to so many YouTube events, conventions, and panels that it got exhausting and repetitive. After researching for awhile, he found out it wasn't going to be anything like that. It would be refreshing to attend something smaller.
"Alright (Y/N), you ready?" Darryl shouts to his partner.
He received back a "YEAH" and waited in the front hallway from (Y/N). When Darryl saw his boyfriend, he smiled. There was something incredibly attractive about the way (Y/N) did his hair and that warmed Darryl. It calmed him seeing the person in front of him.
The pair arrive at the venue where the event was being held. There were signs everywhere for a fundraiser, gold colored decorations, and menus on the tables in case people wanted to eat. The bar was out of the way and to the left of the entrance. (Y/N) wasn't really a drinker but he sometimes had something when attending these events. Just to enjoy it a little.
"Hello, welcome!" an employee at the front greeted them
I am going to be honest, I am tired and losing inspiration to finish this section. I don't want to delay this anymore. Long story short, they enjoy the beginning part of the event but Darryl gets insecure with how (Y/N) and the bartender are interacting. They aren't flirting. Although, it could come off that way, especially from a distance. This will be edited to include everything once I am not tired and I get more inspiration.
(Y/N) notices Darryl approaching and (Y/N)'s name quickly fell and the laugh died in his throat. He didn't understand why Darryl looked angry? Distressed? Something wasn't right and it worried him.
"Hey, do you mind if I talk to you for a moment?"
Confused, (Y/N) finished his drink and followed Darryl out of the main event area.
"Why were you flirting with him? Or allowing him to flirt with you?" Darryl asks immediately once they reached a deserted hallway.
"I wasn't- was I?"
"Well it sure looked like it"
For someone so soft like Darryl, him being angry was shocking. To see him so serious and firm rather than joking through it.
"Listen, it's clear there is something going on between us if this is how you feel"
(Y/N) was going to continue, maybe even scold him, but he was shocked to see tears forming in Darryl's eyes. (Y/N) has seen him cry before as result of harassment, films, and stress but this was different. It seemed he had causes it and he felt worse.
"Are you trying to imply we break up?" Darryl said, trying to fight the tears.
No, that's not what the implication was. (Y/N) was a little hurt by this assumption, however, he could understand where it came from.
"Sweetheart" (Y/N) said, bringing Darryl's face close to his, "Of course not. I love you. I am just worried about you"
Darryl doesn't respond. He closes his eyes, taking in the moment. Under different circumstances, he would be filled with joy to be this close to (Y/N). Now, he feels drained. Resting his hands on his boyfriend's sides, Darryl kisses him.
"You don't just don't seem to trust me Darryl..." (Y/N) frowns.
With this, Darryl pulls away. He does.
"It's not you I don't trust"
Leaning against the wall, (Y/N) responds, "Are you sure? It just seems every time I am close with someone, you think it's something more"
Darryl thought back on what (Y/N) said during origami. That opening up would make it more comfortable for him. Maybe it was time for him to finally try. Not here. Not here in an empty part of a party where anyone could walk in and ruin it.
An employee of the event did find them and tell them that, while the area wasn't off limits to guests, there were cameras. With or without sound, Darryl knew it still wasn't the best place for an honest discussion.
After saying some awkward goodbyes and tasting one more small treat, the couple grabbed their coats and headed out of the building. Darryl felt guilty he was pulling (Y/N) away from it early. Before he displayed signs of jealousy, it looked like it was going well.
"Where do you think we should go?"
Looking around, Darryl couldn't see anywhere that felt right so he suggested they continue walking. The night was just right for a walk like this. If it had been any cooler, he might've taken them inside. Darryl wasn't sure why he didn't do that. They would have been warmer.
At last, his eyes were drawn to fabulous lights decorating a garden. From what he could see, some changed colors and looked like you could walk through it.
"I think we should go here"
(Y/N)'s expression had remained blank every since they had left the event until now. He now had a small smile on his face. There was almost hesitancy to walk towards it but this moment passed quickly.
They weren't exactly sure what they walked into, if it was an event or something more. As no one stopped them, they assumed their presence wasn't going to be a disturbance. This was good. Neither wanted to be surrounded by people, constantly trying to get their attention. It was mostly quiet. Darryl liked that.
Holding Darryl's hand, (Y/N) guides them through the garden of lights. It was beautiful. (Y/N) realized this was a small botanical garden. He had never been to one as there was never a right occasion to go. It wasn't at the top of his personal date night locations and now, he's a little disappointed he didn't think of it sooner.
The lights reminded him of those parks they fill with Christmas lights shaped like Santa and trees and any other festive shape. This garden was not that. While there were colorful lights, it was more full of white, gold, and silver. Some arched above them while others were carefully put around the shaped hedges and plants.
After a long silence, (Y/N) spoke.
"So," he paused, "Will you please tell me what happened?"
Darryl stops in front of a gorgeous collection of tall flowers. He observes them, (Y/N) suspecting that this was to give him time to think.
"I feel..." he inhales, "that sometimes I lose you"
Lose me? (Y/N) thinks.
"I do not want to be the boyfriend who feels threatened by every little thing and becomes possessive and toxic. But I worry" he says, tears forming in his eyes.
"I don't understand. I- Have I ever done anything to make you feel thing way?" (Y/N) asks, silently panicking to himself.
Darryl shakes his head.
"No, no. It's not your fault at all."
A large family was approaching so (Y/N) and Darryl took a few moments of silence. In this moment, Darryl wiped away his tears.
"I look myself in the mirror and wonder how long it will take for you to leave me?"
(Y/N) was shocked. He had never wanted to leave Darryl. He was always happy with how the relationship. He was loyal, he would never flirt or cheat or anything like that. If he truly wanted to be with someone else, he would leave. But he hasn't. All of this was hurting (Y/N). Not because it was seemingly about accusing him, which is wasn't. No. This was about Darryl. He was insecure in himself and that was painful to know.
"The bartender or one of your friends could be better than me"
"They will always remain as that: The bartender and my friends. You are my boyfriend. You are the one that matters to me"
He smiles. (Y/N) could tell there was more he wanted to say.
"I've always felt pressure as a creator. Pressure to put out content consistently. Pressure to be a role model to do many people, especially kids. Pressure to be someone I don't think I am. For a long time I was just known as the person Zak trolled"
Although he had known Darryl before he grew in popularity, when he begun to watch his content, he did notice this. Many comments on his videos and streams were just about other people. He wasn't his own person. (Y/N) was glad that over time, it happened less and less.
"I've had many disappointments in my life. I'm just afraid to lose everything. One mistake and everything could spiral down hill. This is the side I'm afraid of them seeing"
Them being all of his viewers.
"You see everything as a threat. One tweet, one misspoken sentence, one person. Will you look at me?"
(Y/N) didn't mean for his question to come off as harsh as it did. Darryl had been avoiding his eyes and (Y/N) needed to know that he was listening.
Darryl reluctantly moved his eyes from the fountain to his partner's face. Since he was so focused on telling his story, he didn't realize how handsome (Y/N) looked, surrounded by the glowing lights. With some of them changing color every so often, he was beautiful.
Taking his hand, (Y/N) continued.
"If something goes wrong, understand I am here. I'm not going to leave your side, no matter how hard it may get. You are the best person I have ever met"
"I really am sorry (Y/N). I didn't mean for the night to go in this direction. I've never been that great at interaction."
"I'm glad you brought me here. It's peaceful"
Darryl wraps an arm around (Y/N) and is comforted by the newfound warmth it brings him. He knows it will take while to get through his struggles and insecurities and while the night wasn't what was planned, he feels a lot better than he has been. Darryl slowly kisses (Y/N).
"I promise I will be honest" his partner says.
"As will I"