#jekyll speaks

[butchpuppies]

being a virago/masc woman SUCKS for me a lot sometimes, cause I struggle to relate with other mascs and stuff. I'm not really dominant, nor do I wish I was muscular or taller, my taste in fashion is much different. I'm shy and more so passive, I mainly have atypical dysphoria, I have atypical euphoria as well, and aside from that I wish I was skinnier and more boyish, I like being short, I don't mind getting called pretty or beautiful. I'm happy that other people can relate in the community, but I guess I just feel like I'm not enough or not even relatable myself. I feel invisible or overshadowed, I guess I feel a bit alienated and a little disconnected, like i'm the odd one or smth.

[thehenryjekyll]

Guess who's BACK!

Did you miss me?? Sounded like you missed me. Can you believe that!? THE Dr. Henry Jekyll missed the notorious criminal Edward Hyde, I thought I'd never see the day!

I didn't miss you, actually. Did I think of you? Yes. But only because you've been a pain in my side for years.

But I guess since you're back, I'll let you know, nothing of note happened when you left. Everything's been calming and quiet.

[butchpuppies]

its my birthday

[butchpuppies]

feel like revamping my intro post

[butchpuppies]

wow christmas, only two days away, can you believe it guys? christmas!

[butchpuppies]

my masculinity always feels as if it exists on the outside of the binary in a way, since it's mainly not based off traditional masculinity and such.

I like to think of it as a sort of abinarine, or aporine or xenine type of masculinity, something like that.

i think overall my xenic identity heavily effects my masculinity.

i will say i think my mascness is more of an internal sense of identity ( or at least especially). cause regarding how i want to present, its mainly xenine, like i base it off themes or like if i want to present in a way based off/connected to my current kin and stuff.

i have a weird thing regarding femininity, i know people would probably say i am feminine based on how i want to present or already present at times (which frustrates me a lot, especially cuz a lot of my kins wear outfits that would be considered fem, and i want to wear stuff like that cuz of the style/vibe)

it's kinda funny though, despite the fact the idea of being seen as fem makes me very uncomfy (dysohoria and all that). if its in the context of also being masculine, or being "feminine in a boy way" it oddly gives me strong boost of euphoria.

like recently i've been getting called a twink and some people talk about me looking like a femboy, and that's like, very gender for me? it's affirming in a way.ollis

[butchpuppies]

i might retire from calling myself virago and just coin my own thing tbh

[thehenryjekyll]

It isn't normal to want to bang your head into the wall? Huh.