An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Emily goes to a party to humour Derek. She doesn't want to be at this stupid party. But, when a sweet blonde girl confides in her on the porch, Emily can't help but wonder if she shouldn't stop flirting with straight girls in dirty basements and JJ wonders if her long term boyfriend, Will, is ‘the one’.
Emily and JJ meet three times: twice by accident and once on purpose (sort of). Each time, they get to know one another a little better.
This is a wonderful little college!AU request from the @chocolate-21-st <3 Shout out to theowlandthehorse on AO3 (as always) for being my writing bud.
Not sure if it’s your vibe yet? No worries, bestie. You can read the first bit here…
Emily took a heavy drag on the Marlboro Red she had treated herself to on the back porch of the house Derek had dragged her to. Tapping the cigarette ash loose, she leaned against the brick wall as if the beers she had sunk were weighing her down. 80's dance hits boomed through the building behind her and she dragged both fresh and nicotine-soaked air in with fervent intensity. The frat party was way too stuffy and she needed a minute for her head to stop swimming.
A shadow fell over her and a deep familiar voice rumbled near her ear. 'Those things are gonna kill you.'
Emily sucked pointedly on the cigarette and shrugged. 'Do you know how many people die from football related head-injuries, Morgan?'
Derek's eyebrows bounced up and down in response before sighing and slumping against the wall next to her - pointedly in the opposite direction of the nicotine-thick exhalation. Emily continued smoking quietly, a solemnity pulling at her shoulders where some sort of care-free early adulthood should have been growing its wings.
'So…' Derek began, a simple tee clinging his top-heavy, quarterback frame.
Emily rolled her eyes and pushed deep black hair off her face. 'No, Derek, I didn't sleep with her.'
'Why not, Prentiss? She was hot,' he teased, a ridiculous smirk on his face. 'That beautiful, long red hair, tall, long fingers…'
'She didn't like the eyeliner.' Emily pulled away her cigarette, inspecting the black rim of lipstick clinging to the filter. She tossed the spent butt into a make-shift ashtray with the same careless attentiveness her mother used to flick off a speck of dirt.
'Come on, Emily. She was in a rock band,' he lamented, pulling Emily's shoulder back as she tried to escape him.
She slumped against the wall again and smoothed out her black swing dress and fishnet tights. Grabbing a beer bottle from Derek's hand, she took a swig, pulling a face as she glared at him through her fringe.
'Seriously?' Emily scoffed.
'Seriously.' Derek palmed his soft, buzzed hair, sending a few grown out coils out of the tidy style.
'She was in a Christian rock band. There was so much to be unpacked and I'm not the person she's unpacking it with.' She shook her head slowly.
'Agh! Who needs to unpack anything? You just need to get laid. You're getting grouchy.'
'Have you considered that my grouchiness could be caused by something other than a lack of sex?' Emily teased, a coy smile playing on her lips, despite the mild scolding tone. 'I've been grouchy since I met you. And that was in high school, Derek, so -'
'You've been grouchy since Rome, Emily,' he said quietly, nudging her softly. 'Let me know when you want to talk about it.'
'That was nearly four years ago,' Emily muttered.
'And I'll say it for another four decades if I need to.'
They stood, backs against rough brick, in relative quiet for a moment. Emily tried desperately to gather her thoughts and considered getting another drink to drown them in. But Derek took her hand before she could escape back inside and pulled her into a hug.
'Don't let the frat boys see us - they'll never let you live down hugging the weird goth kid,' Emily murmured into his chest before pushing away. 'It's not as if they invited me here.'
She gestured vaguely at the house; thumping with the bass.
'Who gives a fuck?' Derek shrugged, letting Emily go. 'Those guys don't know their asses from their elbows -'
Any further discussion was slapped away by a small, blonde, baby-faced, girl stumbling out of the door. Music spilled from the opening, waves of sound lapping against the porch. The door swung shut and the sound died. Emily mouth fell open as the girl wiped her face aggressively and leaned her elbows against the porch fence. She sniffed quietly and puffed out a trapped breath before turning around and -
She jumped, blue eyes red rimmed. With one more brush of her nose, the girl crossed her arms over her light blue top.
'I'm sorry, I didn't realise anyone else was out here - I -' she muttered.
Emily caught her arm on the way back to the door. 'No, it's okay. You good?'
The girl's eyes flickered to Morgan, a vague flash of recognition in them.
'You're Will's girl, right?' Derek asked, one finger up as he searched his memory.
She nodded awkwardly. 'JJ,' she said, as way of introduction, and smoothed out her mini skirt. 'You know Will from…?'
'Just around,' Derek's shoulder nudged up and down. 'We had some classes together. He's on the baseball team, right?'
Emily seemed frozen, lips slightly parted, as she gazed at a nodding JJ.
Derek nudged Emily lightly before introducing them both: 'I'm Derek. This is Emily.'
pairing: jemily - jennifer jareau x emily prentiss (criminal minds)
word count: 807
warnings: none
summary: Emily begrudgingly agreed to go to the ice rink with her girlfriend. While JJ is a natural at it, Emily is struggling until JJ comes to her rescue.
borders made by @enchanthings
also posted on ao3
‘Why on earth had she agreed to this?’ Emily found herself standing on a pair of rented ice-skates holding onto the wall for dear life just hoping to not slip and make a fool of herself. It had been JJ’s idea, of course it had, to check out the temporary ice rink at the nearby Christmas market. Emily wondered how on earth her girlfriend was able to just move over the ice like she had been doing it all of her life. JJ was skating in circles, switching between going forwards and backwards, Emily wouldn’t even be surprised if she would start to jump around.
After a little while JJ returned to her girlfriend and realized that Emily had in fact not moved a tiny bit from the location where she had left her and she couldn’t help but laugh a bit. “Em, are you scared?” “What me? No, not at all. I just wanted to rest for a bit” Emily tried her best to sound convincing but of course JJ saw right through her. “Baby, do you want my help?” she asked while holding her arm out for Emily to hold onto. “Well yes, but only because i love holding your hand” “Smooth” JJ chuckled. She interlocked her fingers with Emily’s and started to pull her along with her very slowly. “Do you even know what to do?” she asked Emily who by now was grabbing onto JJ’s arm with both hands desperately trying not to just face-plant onto the floor. “Do I look like it?” Emily hissed and JJ just smiled, Emily looked so cute right now. “Okay let’s start slow” she said while maneuvering the both of them back to the wall again. “Hold onto the wall with one hand and my hand with your other hand. Then bend your knees a little bit like this” she motioned for Emily to look at her and Emily promptly followed her instructions. “Very good, glad you listen to me for once without arguing” she smirked earning herself a pissed look from Emily, if she could have she probably would have slapped JJ but she would probably just make a fool of herself if she let go of either the wall or her girlfriend’s hand.
It took a few minutes but eventually Emily was able to let go of the wall and slowly skate on her own just needing to hold onto JJ’s hand to keep balanced. A proud smile appeared on JJ’s face while they made their rounds, getting faster over time until they were moving at a normal speed. In a moment of courage Emily let go of JJ’s hand and instantly regretting it. The change made her lose her rhythm and she started to slip first almost running on the same spot like a cartoon character until she tripped and landed on her hands and knees. The whole situation looked so comically that JJ had to hold back a laugh before she helped her girlfriend up. It was easy for JJ to get both of them off of the ice and Emily seated on a nearby bench already checking her joints for any injury. “I’m fine, Jayje” Emily sighed, trying to be strong as always. “I know you are, but we both know that you would also say this if you just got shot so I’m checking anyways” Emily knew her girlfriend was right and defeatedly let JJ continue. When JJ had decided that Emily was actually alright, they agreed that it was probably the best idea to leave the ice rink and instead go and look at the stalls of the Christmas market.
The air was cold, but the faint smell of gingerbread and cinnamon drew them in. Everything was decorated with fairy lights and pine branches. There were quite a few people there, looking at the selection of items the sellers were offering. Emily pulled JJ close and kissed her cheek. They were headed for the stall with the best mulled wine, at least according Penelope who had been talking about it for the past few weeks. “Is it that one?” JJ asked, pointing to a little hut that was overflowing with people, Christmas music was playing inside and despite there being so many people it looked surprisingly cozy. They found a table in a corner and while Emily was holding it JJ was getting them drinks. She returned quickly balancing 2 mugs in one hand and a heart shaped waffle in the other placing all of it in front of her girlfriend. “I didn’t ask you to-“ Emily started, but JJ just shook her head “Shh, i know you only went on the ice because of me so please let me buy something sweet for my sweetest girlfriend” “I’m your only girlfriend” Emily remarked. “Well yes, but you’re also the sweetest”
Present aged Emily reflects on one of her diary entries almost 15 years later and how things have changed.
Emily was clearing out her apartment and getting rid of things she no longer needed, the book shelf filled with old notebooks being one of her priorities. Some of the notebooks had been with her for as long as she’d been back in DC and she probably didn’t need the contents any longer. Most of the notebooks were half used, filled with to-do lists and ideas for decoration at her apartment or birthday gift ideas for the team before being forgotten about. She ripped out the pages that had been used to put them in the trash and left them on the counter to be able to take into work where she knew that would definitely use them. She felt lighter for getting them off her shelf, until she reached the last book. For a moment, her hand hovered over the burgundy leather notebook at the bottom of the pile before she picked it up. She needed to sit down before reading through this one.
She poured herself a glass of wine and sat down on her couch, curling her legs up and draping a blanket over her lap. She took a breath before opening the first page. The first thing she noticed was that her handwriting was shaky, probably from all of the pain medication she was taking at the time. The first entry was from the first night she arrived in her Paris apartment. With no way to contact her friends, she thought it might be a good way to get out all of her feelings and thoughts. In all honesty, since being back in DC, she’d forgotten about it, being swept back into the busy BAU world once again. She flicked through the notebook for a moment before landing on a page that was in a different coloured ink. The red pen she usually used on her calendar felt fitting for this one entry. Her heart started to race once she remembered what she’d written about. She took a large sip of her wine before starting to read it.
Dear Emily,
Jennifer dropped off my new identities and some cash yesterday. She was only in Paris for 24 hours so it was an extremely fleeting visit. My chest felt tight when she walked away from the table despite knowing that I’d see her later. We knew that we shouldn’t have done it but I was lonely and there’s only so long I can go without seeing a friendly face. She came to my apartment last night. She stayed the night. For one night, I slept in her arms, I felt safe and everything was okay. God, she’s so beautiful. Her hands were so careful but so sure moving over my body, her fingers warm on my hips as she held me while I cried.
But, how can I cope knowing that I’ll never have that again? She has him. She has a son. She’ll never be mine. All I get is one night with her. One time I can actually be myself and not worry about being called names or disappointing stupid ambassador mothers.
We always had a spark, right from the moment I met her, but she was scared to be out, scared of what her parents and friends would think if she was in love with a woman. So for years, I’ve loved her from a distance. For one night, I was able to love her and let her love me like we both secretly craved. It can never happen again. She’s too precious, too sweet. I’ll treasure that one night though.
Before she left, she suggested playing online scrabble. That’s all I get. I can’t even properly speak to her. Just stupid little letters made into stupid little words. CheetoBreath and BlackBirdM It’s the only way we can communicate without a risk of me being found and if anything, that’s the most painful thing about this whole situation. I’m not terrified of being found by a terrorist and serial killer. I am scared of being lonely though.
How do I make genuine friendships without them knowing my real name, without being able to tell them that at any point I might need to up and leave and go back to the life that used to be mine? That’s what it is though, isn’t it? My old life. I might never have it back. The team might never find him and I’ll be stuck here in the city of love. It’s ironic that the woman I love stayed for one night and broke my heart when she left, and I know that I might never see her again. It’s a small but very real possibility. I have faith in my team but I also know what he’s like.
This sucks.
Amélie.
She didn’t know when she’d started to cry, but she was suddenly aware of the tears streaming down her face. Even now, almost 15 years later, Emily remembers how she felt writing that. It was hard not to. She cried for hours. After she wrote this entry, she almost ripped out the page and set it on fire so that she’d purposefully avoid this moment but something stopped her at the time. Maybe it was hope that in the future things would be different and she was right. Things were different. Emily and JJ had accidentally been stoned together and maybe that was Emily’s fault. She needed those Cheetos to decompress. It had absolutely nothing to do with them being JJ’s favourite snack and there definitely weren’t other options that she could have picked. She would never do such a thing.
She wished that she could go back in time and hug this version of herself to tell her how things were going to play out. The team caught Doyle and now he was dead. Emily watched him die. She reminded herself of that fact often. On the days that she woke up with anxiety that didn’t subside, she repeated that he was dead. She watched him die. She hasn’t had one of those days for a while. Not since the thing happened.
Emily sipped her wine again and reached for her phone. She dialed the contact at the top of her frequent calls. On her personal phone, it was the only number she’d called in a few months so there wasn’t much competition.
“Hey,” she realised her voice sounded wet and the person on the other end of the call would be able to tell that she had been crying but Emily didn’t have shame. There was no way she could feel embarrassed anymore. “Are you busy? Do you want to come over?” A smile spread across her face as the person on the other end of the line responded.
Emily let her fingers flick between the pages for a few minutes, letting herself feel everything; how her heart shattered when she woke up to JJ pressing a kiss to her forehead before saying goodbye and wishing that Emily would be okay in Paris, not knowing how long it would be before they saw each other again, how she felt when she heard that JJ was engaged and she couldn’t breathe for a few moments, how beautiful JJ looked walking down the aisle to get married and Emily shed a tear wishing she was the person that JJ was marrying. She’d disguised that one well. From the outside, it looked like she was happy for her best friend, crying from joy, and not like the most painful heartbreak that Emily had ever experienced.
She was pulled out of her thoughts by two sharp knocks on the door and then a key turning in the lock. She wiped away her tears, moving her wine glass onto a coaster, opened the notebook onto the page she wanted to keep and placed it face down on the arm of the couch so she didn’t lose it. She stood up, letting the blanket fall into a crumpled pile on the floor and made her way to the door of her apartment.
Her footsteps were quiet as she moved through the apartment and she stood there for a moment to admire how JJ neatly tucked her shoes onto the rack. Despite being in her loungewear, Emily thought she looked beautiful. She stepped closer and watched as a smile spread onto JJ’s face, the blonde woman’s arms opening to let Emily step between them. Emily buried her face into JJ’s neck and wrapped her arms around the woman’s waist. JJ’s arms wrapped around her shoulders and she squeezed, savouring the moment. Her voice was gentle as she spoke, knowing that was what Emily needed in that moment.
“Hi darling,” JJ whispered. Emily pressed a kiss to her neck before pulling back slightly. Her left hand moved from JJ’s waist to cup her face as she softly kissed her. A warmth spread through Emily. This was exactly what she needed.
“Wine?” Emily asked as she pulled away. JJ nodded, her nose brushing Emily’s softly. “Perfect. I already have a bottle open. Come sit.” Emily redhead for JJs’s hand and together they walked through the hallway back to Emily’s couch. She picked the blanket up off the floor and then sat down, JJ having already topped up the wine glass. There was no need to get a second glass, at least not with your partner. At some point early in their careers, they’d sat on a bed in a motel room in the middle of nowhere and drank straight from the bottle because the room only had mugs in it and they were much classier than that. The only logical solution to that problem is to drink straight from the bottle. That was a fond memory of Emily’s. It was one of the harder cases where they were so exhausted that they giggled at almost everything and JJ had ended up falling asleep with her head resting on Emily’s shoulder. Emily was pulled out of her thoughts by JJ brushing a stray hair away from her face.
“What are you thinking about?” JJ asked. Emily smiled, her hand reaching over to rest on JJ’s thigh.
“Us, back in the early BAU days, when Gideon was still around. The case where we shared a cheap bottle of white wine in the worst motel room I’ve ever seen and laughed at the most stupid things that weren’t even funny, like Hotch sneezing in the next room.” JJ hummed, leaning over to press a kiss to Emily’s cheek.
“I remember it well,” JJ admitted. “But that’s not why you called me, is it?” Emily sighed. Her partner knew her too well.
“I was feeling a little sad and wanted to see you. I was sorting some stuff out and came across one of my old journals, specifically the one from when I was undercover in Paris. I think I just wanted you here to remind myself how much things have changed and how much better they are now.” JJ rested her hand on top of Emily’s hand on her thigh and Emily turned her hand over to hold JJ’s.
“Care to share, in either spoken or written words? JJ asked. Emily reached for the notebook on her arm on the couch and passed it to JJ, the page already opened. She stood up and kissed JJ’s forehead. She couldn’t watch her read it.
“I’ll be back soon.” Emily walked into the kitchen, primarily to get a snack for her and JJ, but also to give her a moment to calm herself down. She loved JJ more than anything, but at times like this, where she was willingly allowing herself to be vulnerable, she really struggled. She opened the freezer to grab an ice cube and held it between her hands for a few moments, focusing on the burning sensation. It calmed her enough that she let it drop into the sink. She dried her hands on the towel and opened the cupboard to get the bag of Cheetos that she kept for whenever JJ was around and took a deep breath before making her way back over to JJ.
She wasn’t sure what she was expecting when she walked back to the couch, but it definitely wasn’t seeing JJ with tears streaming down her face, her fingers tracing over one of the lines Emily had written.
“Is this really how you felt?” JJ asked, her gaze shooting up to meet Emily’s when she heard footsteps approaching.
“At the time, yeah. I mean, looking back, it’s a little harsh, but it was honest and the truth when I wrote it.”
“Well, fuck.” JJ said and Emily let out a little laugh. JJ softly closed the book and Emily gently took it out of her hands to put on the table. She dropped the bag of Cheetos onto the table too and then sat down, JJ immediately curling into her side. “I felt the same, mostly, but I was also terrified,” she said, her voice so quiet Emily almost didn’t hear her. “I had the option of being happy, but in hiding, or letting myself be swept into something safe and socially acceptable. I let him love me for so many years, pushing through how uncomfortable I was at times. I think that’s what led to the divorce. We kind of grew apart and I stopped wanting the physical affection, but I couldn’t seek it anywhere else, not when we had 2 kids. I didn’t want them to grow up in a hostile household, so it made the most sense to separate.” Emily nodded, having heard this from JJ before, in their intoxicated discussion.
“And that’s okay, Jayje. I knew that I couldn’t ask that of you and it wouldn’t have been fair for me to admit that to you, so I kept it to myself. I was okay. I was okay with being friends and just showing you my love in a different way.” Her hand tightened around JJ’s waist and JJ looked up at her.
“I’m so grateful for what we’ve built now, though. It’s honest and real, and my favourite way to spend a Friday night.” JJ sat up, kissing Emily softly and reaching for the Cheetos.
“I love you,’ Emily said, her voice full of softness and gentle love.
“I love you and I love you more for keeping my favourite knack stocked.” Emily smiled, feeling content for the first time today. She was right where she wanted to be.
I have a Jemily playlist on spotify and I shuffle it and write a fic inspired by the song
Song: Latch (acoustic version) - Sam Smith (suggested by @pascaleledumbo)
Pairing: Emily Prentiss/Jennifer "JJ" Jareau
Summary: Season 17 Emily and JJ finally getting married. This is their wedding day. This fic is just pure happiness, not a single thing goes wrong. It's just all love.
Word count: 2.2k
Posted on Ao3 as well
Chapter 2
*Not my pictures*
“You’d think with it being my second wedding, I wouldn’t be so nervous,” JJ laughed, smoothing out her dress with her hands. She looked at herself in the mirror, a rush of excitement hitting her.
"Yes, but your first wedding wasn’t with Emily,” Penelope pointed out, handing JJ her bouquet. “You look so beautiful,” she gushed, looking at her best friend. She had to stop herself from crying; she couldn’t believe Emily and JJ were finally getting married after all these years.
“Hey! Don’t you start! I don’t want to ruin my makeup before I get out there.” JJ turned away from Penelope, waving the girl away.
Penelope took the most dramatic deep breath, trying to compose herself, “I think I’m okay; let’s go. We can’t keep Em waiting,” she said, ushering the bride out of the room so they could get to the wedding.
“Nervous?” Tara asked, handing a glass of whiskey to Emily. She sat down on the arm of the couch, watching as Emily took a quick sip of her drink, then placing it down so she could fix the buttons of her suit.
Emily chuckled, her shoulders shrugging. “A little, but I’m more shocked. I never thought we’d be together, let alone get married.” She picked her drink back up and turned to face Tara. “How do I look?” She asked, giving her a spin.
“You’re an absolute smoke show, Emily; you look amazing.” They both laughed and clinked their glasses together, throwing back the rest of their drinks. “Okay, the car is here; we better head off.”
Penelope held JJ’s hand as they walked up to the entrance of the little garden; she could hear soft piano music playing, which was her cue that the ceremony was about to start. She saw Rossi standing at the entrance; he smiled and held his hand out for her.
JJ felt tears well up in her eyes. “Dave, really? Am I not too old to be walked down the aisle?” She joked, trying to stop herself from getting too emotional. She was already feeling overwhelmed, in the best way possible. She just wanted to see her soon-to-be wife.
He grabbed her hand and linked his arm with hers. “Oh hush, I already walked Emily down 5 minutes ago.”
JJ couldn’t help but smile at the thought of Rossi walking the woman down the aisle. Her usual stoic self, probably struggling to compose herself and to hide how much it meant to her. “How’d she seem?” JJ asked, watching as Penelope walked around the bend of the aisle.
“She was happy, Jennifer, so unbelievably happy." Dave looked at JJ with a warm smile. He lifted her chin with his finger so she was looking at him. “Are you ready?” His smile was so comforting for JJ; he really was like a father to her. To them both.
“I’m so ready,” she beamed, walking arm in arm down the aisle. When she walked around the bend, the first thing she saw were all their friends in their seats. Granted, there weren’t a lot of people, but the most important people were there. It made it more special that way.
As soon as JJ’s eyes locked onto Emily, she felt her throat tighten. She was beautiful. The most beautiful woman she’d ever laid eyes on. There was no stopping the tears that dropped from the corner of her eyes. That was her soulmate.
She was dressed in a completely ivory suit that cinched at her waist perfectly. The wide-legged pants covered a pair of pointy white heels. Her silver hair pinned up loosely, stray curls falling around her face perfectly. It took every ounce of control JJ had to not sprint down the aisle and jump on her fiancée.
Emily had to look away for a moment to collect herself; the pure shock of seeing JJ in a wedding dress stole all the air from her lungs. She looked back and let out a quiet laugh when she saw JJ crying. She knew all too well how emotional JJ could be—a change of pace from her usual lack of emotions. Well, lack of expression, Emily felt a lot; all the time, she just compartmentalised better than most.
JJ looked radiant, walking down the aisle in an ivory dress that matched Emily’s suit perfectly. More proof the women were made for each other; they complemented one another without needing to plan a single thing. Emily’s chest felt warm when she looked at JJ; her blonde hair was loosely curled and falling over her tanned shoulders. Emily could swear that JJ’s skin was glowing under the warmth of the sun; she’d never felt more in love with the woman than she did in that moment.
JJ took the last few steps down the aisle; she gave Rossi a kiss on the cheek, whispering her thanks. She handed her bouquet to Penelope before she turned to look at her fiancée. She laughed as she began to cry again. She couldn’t control the emotions that were spilling out of her; every time she looked at Emily, she just felt so overwhelmed with joy; all she could do was laugh and cry.
Emily reached her hand out, taking a hold of JJ's hand, the other resting on her hip. “My love, you look so beautiful,” she whispered, planting a kiss on her cheek. JJ’s hand rested on Emily’s cheek, shaking her head, her eyes taking in her facial features. Something she’d done a million times before "here,” Emily said, pulling a tissue out of her jacket pocket and handing it to JJ. The small crowd of people laughed at the sight, all of them knowing what JJ was like.
“Thank you,” JJ chuckled, using the tissue to dab her cheeks. “I just can’t believe we’re finally here,” she said, still not believing that they were about to get married. Emily agreed, giving JJ’s hand a firm squeeze, not planning to let go anytime soon.
“They will both now read their vows; who would like to go first?”
The two women had a silent conversation with their eyes, deciding that JJ would start. Penelope handed her a piece of paper that had her vows written on it; she unravelled them, her hands shaking slightly. The paper was covered in her neat and precise handwriting—not a single letter out of place. Emily smiled knowingly; her paper was the complete opposite: covered with scribbles, words crossed out. It represented them perfectly.
“Emily, my Emily." JJ started, glancing at her fiancee for a moment before deciding to keep her eyes on her paper; otherwise, she wouldn’t be able to get through the vows. “I can’t believe I’m standing in front of you right now, at our wedding, about to call you my wife. You started off as my co-worker, then you quickly became a friend. Then all of a sudden you were my boss,” the crowd laughed along with Emily and JJ. “Then you finally became my girlfriend, my fiancee, and now my wife." JJ let out a shaky breath, a small tear rolling down her cheek, but she was able to continue reading through it. “After everything we’ve been through together and separately, I’m so grateful to say that you have been the most consistent thing in my life. No matter what, you were there. Always.” She used her arm to wipe her tears because she refused to let go of Emily’s hand. “You were there for me when I didn’t even know that I needed you, but I think I’ve always needed you, and I’m certain I’ve always loved you. Even if it took me a while to come to terms with it,” a soft chuckle sounded from the crowd. “But now that I’ve got you, I promise you, there’s no way I’ll ever let you go.”
Emily quickly wiped a tear from her eye as JJ finished her vows. She squeezed her hand and gave her a warm smile. “That was beautiful, darling,” she complimented. She pulled her own piece of paper out of her pocket and shook her head. “Not as neat as yours,” she admitted sheepishly. JJ gave Emily an amused look, assuring her it was okay and waiting to hear her vows.
“Jennifer, Jen, JJ, my darling, my love... I can’t keep track of all the names I call you, and I’m sure there will be a million more that I’ll come up with, seeing as you’re stuck with me for the rest of our lives,” she laughed, looking up at JJ. All the people around them seemed to disappear when Emily watched JJ giggle; she stopped for a moment, getting distracted by how beautiful she was. "God, you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen,” she stated, practically dazed.
JJ couldn’t help herself; she planted a kiss on Emily’s cheek. “Thank you, baby,” she whispered. “Keep going,” she encouraged, giddy about what might be on the paper.
Emily let out a quick breath, concentrating on her paper again. “I truly believe I fell in love with you the first day I met you, but I thought you’d never feel the same way. So I decided that I’d have you in any capacity I could, and that was as my best friend. Now that you’re going to be my wife, I promise to always be your best friend first, to always be by your side, loving you and supporting you and annoying you just as much,” she gave JJ a quick wink before continuing. “I’m so grateful you chose me to be your wife. I wake up next to you every day, and I’m still pinching myself because I can’t believe that I get to call you mine." Emily folded the paper back up and returned it to her pocket. “I promise to love you until the day I die, and then in my next life, I promise to find you and love you again and again and again,” she croaked, her cry getting stuck in her throat.
JJ shook her head, crying at Emily’s words. She grabbed Emily’s face, not caring about the traditions of the wedding, and kissed her deeply. Emily’s hands landed on JJ’s hips as she kissed her back; there was no way she would pull away. She also didn’t care about traditions; her and JJ were by no means a traditional couple.
“Well then, you both may keep kissing the bride!”
The crowd erupted with loud cheers and continuous clapping. Both women laughed into their shared kiss, pulling each other closer, not wanting the moment to end.
“After you, my wife,” Emily held JJ's hand as she stepped into the car; she didn’t let go as she slid in the back seat next to her wife. “Thank you,” she aimed at the driver as he began to drive off.
JJ scooted closer to Emily, wrapping her arms around the woman as best she could. “I love you,” she hummed, smiling contentedly when Emily wrapped one arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer. Emily mumbled the sentiment back, placing a series of small kisses on JJ’s forehead. “Did you have a good day?” She asked, pulling back slightly so she could look at her wife’s face.
Emily placed her finger under JJ’s chin, running the pad of her thumb across her bottom lip. “It was better than good, baby; it’s been the best day of my life,” she whispered. Her heart swelled seeing JJ’s face beam; she captured JJ’s lips in a kiss, still holding her chin. “I can’t wait to get you to the hotel,” she mumbled against her lips, clumsily kissing her at the same time.
JJ swore her body shivered at the thought of getting back to their hotel. She gave her wife one last squeeze before pulling away. “We’ve got to stop; otherwise, I won’t be able to control myself in the back of this car,” she stated under her breath, only for Emily to hear.
Emily smirked, holding JJ close to herself, letting her chin rest atop her wife’s head. "Soon, my love, we’ll be there soon,” she reassured, letting her hand rest on JJ's thigh.
JJ squealed when Emily lifted her in her arms in the traditional bridal carry. “Emily! Don’t drop me!” She laughed, holding her tightly around her neck.
Emily stepped through the door of their room and swiftly kicked it shut behind her. “I would never, baby girl; I’ve got you.” She headed down the hall into the room, aiming straight for the bed. She threw JJ onto it, chuckling at JJ’s overly dramatic squeals. Emily kicked her heels off and walked to the edge of the bed, simultaneously unbuttoning her suit jacket.
JJ giggled, hopping up on her knees and crawling over to Emily. “Let me,” she purred, pulling Emily’s jacket down her arms and throwing it to the floor. She frantically kissed her while making quick work of her blouse; she moaned deeply when Emily’s hands made their way into her hair. Pulling it tightly into a makeshift ponytail, “I love you,” she groaned as Emily pulled her hair back, beginning to kiss down JJ's neck.
“I love you too, my darling,” Emily declared against JJ's skin, her hand snaking around her back to unzip her dress. “I can’t believe you’re my wife,” she divulged, watching as JJ's dress pooled around her knees, leaving her in just her underwear. “You’re all mine,” she professed, wrapping her arms around JJ's bare waist.
JJ wrapped her arms around Emily’s neck, pressing their foreheads together. “I’m yours, Emily, forever,” she beamed, both women still basking in the shock that they each finally got to marry their best friend.
this is random and I just thought of it so it's not great but I wanna share so....
JJ is having a really bad day, maybe a hard case (or one with kids) or she's just feeling really overwhelmed, and all she wants to do is talk to ros. emily notices she's kind of out of it and when they get off work emily asks what's going on and jj just breaks down and emily can't understand what she's saying except for something about missing ros and needing her right now so emily drives them to a lake or the woods or something and jj is confused at first but then emily walks her to a little clearing and lays them down and jj looks up to see the moon right above them and they look at each other for a bit while jj silently thanks emily and emily just looks at her knowingly and pulls her into her chest and jj starts crying even harder but she feels safe and emily just holds her and let's her sob while she stares at the moon
ik valentine’s day was four days ago but imagine the team just working on paperwork for the day and emily being rly stressed and jj coming up to her office with more reports and emily is just smiling through the pain bc wtf but when jj leaves her office she notices how light the folders feel so she looks through them they all contain a single hand written post it note from jj detailing every single thing she loves about emily and in the last one is a hand drawn valentine with lil aliens on it and it has the caption “you’re out of this world, valentine!!” and it’s all so super cheesy but emily nearly bursts into tears bc she has the best gf in the world and it makes her day a little less stressful and makes her smile just a little bit more and and :,)
JJ loves Taylor Swift and Garcia gave them tickets to her concert for their anniversary.
Emily pretends she doesn't like it but secretly she's been memorizing the lyrics to a certain song that reminds her of JJ in between paperworks.
When "You Are in Love" was played in the concert, Emily grabbed JJ's waist and prompted her to slow dance with her and she looked into JJ's eyes and sang these lyrics to her "You can hear it in the silence, You can feel it on the way home, You can see it with the lights out, You are in love, true love" trying to hide her smile. JJ was so surprised she kissed Emily telling her that she feels the same with no words.
Additional: JJ secretly dedicated Taylor Swift's "Dress" to Emily when they weren't still together lol
content warnings: allusion to sex/hookup, !!!alcohol mentions!!, fluff, angst
word count: 3,308
college roommate au
in which emily and jj are best friends and roommates who accidentally hook up
----
emily prentiss is fucked. that’s her first thought when she wakes up in a bed that’s not her own. emily prentiss is so, astronomically fucked. that’s her second thought. that one comes when she turns to the source of the soft, sleepy puffs of breath beside her and is met with the very gentle and very naked frame of her best friend.
jj’s hair is splayed around her head in a halo. she’s sleeping on her back, the white downy comforter tangled in her legs. her head lolls to the side facing emily, like she’d fallen asleep mid-pillowtalk. emily trails a finger down the bridge of her nose with a feather-like touch. her fingers dance along jj’s collarbone, lingering there. jj’s soft skin is littered with deep red-purple bruises. hickeys, emily’s groggy brain registers. they’re almost grotesque, like a crime scene in a safe suburban neighborhood, and emily feels a little guilty looking at them even though she’s definitely the culprit. the room is comfortable and golden; a sort of divinity settling over the two of them as if they were two gods who’d created a universe the night before. emily looks at jj once again. no, they weren’t both gods. jj is far more celestial in this moment than emily could ever dream of being.
jj stirs with a twitch of her nose, letting her eyes flutter open. she rubs them until emily, who’s staring at her with intent adoration, comes into focus. “hi, em,” she murmurs, voice croaky.
“hi,” emily responds quietly, absolutely unable to hide the fondness in her voice. yeah, she’s fucked. she desperately wants to press a kiss to jj’s swollen lips, but she doesn’t know where they stand while sober. emily debates for a second, and after getting no hints from jj’s sleepy face, she takes a chance. slowly, emily kisses jj.
jj jerks away with a disapproving hum, and the bubble of bliss emily had created and made a home in pops. emily deflates, her shoulders curling in on themselves. there’s no words exchanged, but jj closes her eyes as if trying to shut out emily, shut out the night before, shut out that one incredibly uncomfortable kiss. emily gets the hint.
“alright, jj, shit,” emily says through a sigh, swinging her legs over the bed. her feet land in a sticky puddle that smells strongly of coconut rum. it’s disgusting, but she peels her feet up and pads out of jj’s room and to her own, leaving tropical footprints in her wake.
how stupid do you have to be to sleep with your best friend?, emily thinks, staring at herself in the tiny round mirror on her wall. her face looks sunken in, her eyes ringed with dark shadows. how stupid do you have to be to sleep with your roommate? she lets out a mirthless laugh. no big deal! no big deal. (but it is. emily just has a poor habit of pretending she has no emotions.) she rubs her face harshly, trying to get herself to wake up. once it burns, she stops, revelling in the redness of her face.
emily and jj have been roommates since they were freshmen. jj walked into their dorm room timidly, anxious to meet the girl she’d be sleeping across from for the year. emily greeted her with a toothy grin, and all of jj’s nerves were eased before they even spoke. from that moment on, they’ve been inseparable.
jj cheered emily up with a loving hand rubbing her back in circles when emily accidentally cut her own bangs too short freshman year. when jj cried after failing her first college exam, emily was there to hug her tightly and tell her that it would be okay. (they made flashcards for the next one.) after emily had her first hookup, jj was the one to discover her hickeys, and they gushed about the lucky girl through giggles. and jj called emily literally immediately after the cute guy in her organic chemistry class finally asked her out.
needless to say, the pair is close. there are hardly any moments in the past few years that emily remembers being without jj. emily could say she was surprised that they had accidentally hooked up last night, but she wasn’t. they had definitely shared some memories that screamed, “hey emily, you’re in love with your best friend,” but emily never paid them any mind until now.
maybe it’s the soft kiss that they share every single time they get drunk. or maybe it’s the pit that settled in emily’s stomach when she sent jj off on that organic chemistry date. or maybe, just maybe, it was the way jj would crawl into emily’s tiny twin bed and hold her after a bad day. maybe.
----
it’s about a month after the awkward hook-up that jj brings jason home. the tension in their apartment has been incredible, thick enough that emily feels like she’s swimming through it. it gets worse when the stupid frat guy walks in, arm slung around jj’s waist, looking like he’s been carved from marble. emily feels sick seeing him.
of course he’s beautiful, and blonde, and a man. he’s perfect for jj. jason sticks around for a while, and each time emily sees him she feels bile rise in her throat. for as much as he hangs around jj, he might as well be emily’s second roommate. she makes this comparison bitterly to herself, and immediately regrets it as soon as he decides to walk around the living room in only his underwear. she feels she manifested that, and makes a solemn promise to the universe to not put any more energy into jason.
she can’t keep that promise.
“your boyfriend didn’t put the toilet seat down again,” emily remarks, stirring creamer into her coffee. they haven’t spoken in weeks.
“i’ll talk to him,” jj replies flatly. her back is turned to emily as she rummages through their crowded refrigerator.
emily keeps her eyes trained on the curve of jj’s spine. “and there was piss in the toilet,” she says.
“okay,” jj repeats, “i’ll talk to him.”
“and---” emily starts, but is startled into silence by a bark of jj’s voice. the blonde woman whips around, ponytail swinging, and steels her gaze on emily’s seated figure.
“enough, emily,” she says harshly. she speaks slowly, as if emily was a toddler. “i will talk to him.” emily can’t control her face contorting at the tone jj has taken with her. her lip snarls up, her eyes narrow, her eyebrows furrow. but before she can come up with a sufficiently disgusted rebuttal, jj is gone, leaving nothing but a faint scent of vanilla in her wake.
as much as emily wants to stalk the other way, dragging her feet dramatically, there’s nowhere to go except to trail behind jj. their rooms are next to each other, something that they’d always valued. now, it makes emily’s stomach twist. she slams the door to her room and queues a playlist filled with angsty guitars. when her bluetooth speaker is loud enough to sufficiently shake the walls, she nods to no one in particular and flops back onto her bed.
she stares at her ceiling fan whirring; blades going ‘round, ‘round, ‘round. the tears in her eyes come from the cool air, she tells herself. they sit on her lower lashline, perched like tiny uncut gems situated in a wedding band. don’t let them fall, she thinks. then, at the recognition of her repressed emotions, she breaks, and the gemstone tears spill over and roll down her cheeks rapidly, their jagged edges leaving tiny cuts against her smooth skin.
“fuck,” emily mutters, but through her clenched teeth the word is just an exhale that bounces around the room. fuck. fuck. fuck. fuck, fuck, fuck fuck fuckfuckfuck, and then emily’s crying harder. caught up in emotion, she tugs a photo of her and jj off of the wall.
it’s the one from their first nights out together. in the picture, emily’s arm is swung around jj’s neck, an alcoholic drink she was definitely too young to have in her hand. she’s smiling so wide at the camera, her eyes squint. jj is looking up at her like she hung the stars.
emily feels sick. everything seems to be mocking her. the picture, the blank wall where it used to hang, the left over sticky-tac there, even the sound of the ceiling fan. i have got to get out of here.
she flings herself at her desk, trying very hard to maintain balance as the desk chair nearly rolls out from beneath her. she opens her laptop, wiping away her tears with the heel of her hand.
there’s banging on the wall her and jj share, and a male voice shouts. “can you turn down your music?”
emily tosses the nearest textbook to her---one about the italian renaissance--- at the wall and turns the volume up two notches.
a week later, emily has an appointment with a real estate agent to go look at a new apartment. it’s a one bedroom, and hopefully not too scrappy considering her price range. she puts on her most professional looking skirt for the tour--- she’s an adult now for god’s sake.
as she grabs her keys off of the hook next to the front door, emily sees jj for the second time since their tiff. (the first was when emily had answered the door for a pizza delivery man. she locked eyes with jj, who was tangled up with her boyfriend on the couch, on her way back to her room.) jj clears her throat, more so to garner confidence than to get emily’s attention. “i like your skirt,” she says, leaning against the hallway entrance.
“thank you,” emily says, hand on the front doorknob. she pauses and looks down. “now that you say that, i think it’s your skirt.”
and for the first time in what feels like forever, they laugh together. jj fills with warmth seeing emily’s eyes light up. she missed their glint. but as soon as the moment is there, it’s gone, emily closing the door behind her.
-----
“i really, really want this apartment,” emily says with much more enthusiasm than she expected to have. the studio is tiny, yes, but maximizes its space well. as soon as she walked in, the wheels in emily’s head began turning. she would put a rug here, hang the tv there. the ceilings are low, and suspiciously discolored in some places, but emily looks past that to see the apartment’s potential.
the tour was quick, considering the space, and emily is convinced by the end of the 20 minutes that this is the place for her. “i love the windows,” she says, running her fingertips across the windowpane. “i love this apartment.”
“i’m so glad, emily,” the real estate agent, rachel, says sincerely. her head is tilted in amusement as she watches emily drink in the space. there’s a pause, where emily is looking out of the window, unaware of rachel’s eyes trained on her. emily turns and gives her a small, shy smile.
rachel shakes her head as if to clear her mind. “i can draw up the papers,” she says.
at her words, emily is snapped back into reality. her only thought is jj. emily can’t sign these papers right now. she has to make things right with jj first, then she’ll sign for the apartment. she can’t explain why it’s so important to her to have this talk with jj all of a sudden, but the tiny voice in the back of her head says it starts with an l and ends with an o-v-e.
emily relays this information to rachel, albeit more casually (“let me let my roommate know i’m planning on moving, first.”), then promises to call her later with an answer and a plan for when they can meet again to finalize the sale.
rachel sends emily off with a business card and a hug. when emily gets in her car, she feels icky and wishes they had opted for a handshake instead. she tells herself that a handshake would have just been more professional, but emily doesn’t care too much about professionalism. simply, she just felt weird hugging someone other than jj. this realization doesn’t surprise her, but it weighs heavily on her shoulders. how stupid do you have to be to fall in love with your best friend?
emily trudges through the front door of the apartment, footsteps slow with the anxiety of having to talk things out with jj. she pushes the door to jj’s room open, but is met with a perfectly made bed. jj’s not home. emily is relieved to an extent, but the anxiety creeps up over her when she realizes she’ll have to sit and wait for jj to get home to talk to her. how humiliating. emily tosses her shoes next to the front door with a bit more force than necessary, taking pride in the two thuds that follow. her phone feels heavy in her skirt pocket, like a mocking symbol of having to call a real estate agent later. a mocking symbol of having to leave this apartment. leave this life. leave jj.
emily can’t have the stupid phone on her anymore. she places it on the kitchen counter and promptly leaves the room, the laughing taunts of the “call” button becoming quieter as she slams her bedroom door and promptly falls asleep.
an hour later, jj trudges through the front door of the apartment, the emotional toll of the day catching up with her. tears stain her cheeks, but she has no more energy to continue to cry. her piece-of-shit boyfriend had been such a dick when she broke up with him earlier in the morning. his homophobic comments about her and emily ring through her ears, taking up immense space in her brain. jj is drained from arguing with him, her throat raw from screaming. any man she has to defend her (oddly homoerotic) friendship with emily from is no man for her. she wishes she’d realized that sooner, because now she feels she might have lost emily forever.
jj is fixing herself a glass of ice water cold enough to hurt her sensitive teeth when emily’s phone starts buzzing on the counter next to her. jj hadn’t even noticed it was there. “rachel,” the phone screen reads, and jj is struck with a lightning bolt of envy. who is rachel? her eyes train intently on the phone until it stops ringing and a voicemail notification pops up. in a rash, out-of-character motion, she clicks the green “listen” button and lets the voice mail play aloud.
“hey emily,” rachel’s crackly voice starts through the speaker. jj is biting her nails. “i know you said you’d call me after you sorted things out, but demand for the apartment has gone up and it’s probably going to be gone within the next few hours.” there’s a pause.
an apartment?, jj thinks. a new apartment?
“anyways, i enjoyed hanging out with you today and showing you around the place…” rachel trails off, then her voice returns. “so i just wanted to let you know that you’ll most likely need to sign within the next hour if you want it. alright, emily. goodbye.”
without regard for emily’s naptime or for the consequences of literally snooping through emily’s phone, jj barges into emily’s room. though she thought she could no longer cry, tears well up in her eyes. “emily,” she says loudly.
“what the fuck, jj,” emily says, jolting awake and sitting up.
“you’re moving? with rachel?” logically, jj had pieced together the fact that rachel is just the real estate agent, but she’s searching for things to be mad about, desperate to get a reaction out of emily.
emily lets out a short laugh at the ridiculousness of the confrontation. “can you calm down? we can talk about it, but not if you’re literally shaking with anger.”
jj looks down at her hands. sure enough, they’re shaking. that’s enough of a reality check as she needs. she sits on the edge of emily’s bed, and her fury morphs into sadness.
after a long pause, jj speaks. “we’ve never not lived together,” she says softly, looking down at the floor. her socked feet swing.
“i signed a lease to live with you,” emily says. “but you freaked out on me and brought a shitty ass boyfriend home, and i don’t want to live with him.”
jj is quiet. the cats on her socks appear to be dancing when she wiggles her toes. “we broke up this morning.”
“yeah?” emily says softly, keeping her eyes locked on jj, who still won’t look up. “i’m sorry.”
jj shrugs. “i broke up with him. it’s...it’s okay.”
emily puts her hand on jj’s arm. “look at me, jj.”
jj shakes her head in response.
“why not?” emily asks, tilting her head.
after a deep breath, jj looks up at emily, finally, eyes ringed in red. “i’m scared,” she whispers, voice cracking.
one good thing about being so close with jj is that emily never has to ask for clarification on anything. emily can read jj like a children’s book, from the way she takes her breaths to the way she forms her words. she knows that jj’s lip quirks up when she’s trying to be coy, and her eyebrows furrow when she’s annoyed. she knows that her shoulders hunch over when she’s relaxed, and her posture is straight and rigid when she’s anxious. with all of that, there’s no need to ask why jj is scared. emily knows.
emily places her hand against jj’s cheek, rubbing softly with her thumb. for a second, emily is transported back to the morning so long ago, when it was just her and jj and spilt coconut rum; the morning where jj was a divine being and emily was a mere mortal. in this moment, they’re equals. emily likes this better.
jj’s the one to initiate this kiss this time, a small detail that makes flowers bloom in emily’s chest. their lips lock slowly, hesitantly. jj peeks one eye open at emily, just to see her, and smiles into the kiss. jj deepens the kiss, and emily snakes her hands into her hair. she tugs gently, and jj lets out a tiny whimper.
emily pulls away with a wide smile, letting her hands rest at the base of jj’s skull. “move in with me.”
jj shakes her head, chuckling. “you know how much money it will cost for both of us to break our lease? no, thank you.”
emily pouts, and presses another soft kiss to jj’s lips. “this apartment is so cute though, jj.” she pauses, letting her eyes scan jj’s features. there’s no way she’s leaving her. “i’ll pay to break the lease and i’ll pay your half of the rent for a month if you come.”
“you can’t afford that!” jj says, correctly, and turns to press kisses against emily’s jawbone.
“i would rather be broke and with you than rich and without you,” emily replies. she’s running her fingers through jj’s hair, a motion she’s practiced many times before. this time is different. more tender.
-----
jennifer jareau is in love. that’s her first thought when she wakes up in a bed that’s still slightly unfamiliar. jennifer jareau is so, astronomically in love. that’s her second thought. that one comes when she turns to the source of the tiny snores beside her and is met with the very gentle and very naked frame of her best friend. jj kisses emily’s shoulder softly and sinks deeper into their new bed. the low ceilings of their new studio apartment envelop her like a warm hug.
